All Comments on 'Tits for Tats Ch. 04'

After Ch3 I needed that...

I hope Ch5 is just as good.

Its a shame that in real life, people are so much worse. People would have one or both metaphorically hanged.

in a TBQH statement: if 2012 WAS the end of the world, I would have no problems with facing the end. I estimate that (in my own views of course) only 15%~ of the entirety of the human race deserves to survive, the rest are ruled by greed, lust, power, and pure religious fanatics who pervert the lessons the bible and any other religious text's teach. Humanity cannot be saved, a look at the continuing corruption of the US and EU Governments are a standing example of how the statement of it can only get worse before it can get better has now turned into: it can only get worse before you die or are accused of being a terrorist and locked away forever

Loved this chapter. Loved the entire series this is a good end but personally hope for more. And thanks for putting this one up so soon after the last one tho I doubt it had anything with my request to not make us wait 2 months like the last one that I mentioned on my comment in ch. 3

man my head was spinning I had trouble sleeping after 3 but you really pulled out a great story I was dizzy with nerves reading this one but my faith in your abilities as a writer have proven apt thank you for this and please can you write a fifth installment because I feel this chapter as wonderful as it was left somethings to be wrapped up like how they will live from now on ad how their child turns out and how they get together in a more intimate way as always thank you for your hard work

You brought me to tears! You had me so invested in the characters that I was moved emotionally! You have a gift!

I think all 4 chapters were great. I am hoping for chapter 5 telling if they managed to stay together and raise their child.

MSTarot, you actually brought me to tears with this chapter! I don't know if this is the wrap up, or if you will carry on with this story. Either way it is truly the best series I've read on this or any site. I would encourage you to go back and develop it into a novel length tale and submit it to publishers. You would have to tone down the sex scenes a bit, but you might just find one somewhere with balls to bring it out in print - and it would make a tremendous movie. Best of luck!!

you took this story to places that I completely didn't expect. thanks for that.

It was a good story but there are something's left hanging. Like how did Madison brother the cop found out and what happen in between chapter 3 & 4 with regards to Kevin & Sara's relationship. I hope you will continue and fill in some of these thing. Keep up the great writing!!!!

Keep going! Want to know how they are after the two year sentence,if they stay as a family or not. So please keep the series going!!!!

This was the best story on the site I've ever read that I actually had to comment on it which I never EVER do. I was very happy with this story and was actually almost brought to tears. I don't even think you need to continue this story because it was already a great ending, but if do for closure or an epilogue, I wouldn't be mad lol. I think that this could actually be turned into a movie or a full book and hope to see it as that one day....which it probably won't.

This is y far one of the best multi-part stories on Literotica. I especially like you character development style. Having each chapter tell a complete ( but interconnected) story is a great approach. Hope there is more of this series to come, as I can see several possible plot lines that could be developted here. Keep up the good work. Looking forward to more soon!

5* . Wish I could give you more. I agree that there was tiny mis-spellings but these were almost part of the turn of speech of the narrator of that particular section.

Gotta say I loved all of them.

This is the kind of writing I've come to admire you for. The Hansel and Gretel spin was not at this caliber. I love this ending, but will be awaiting the begining of your next series

The development of the characters and their background and history made this story poignant and believable, and made me sympathize and empathize with Sara and Kevin.

Great storyline with only some minor technical errors (negligible); loved the romance factor and love story instead of just the hardcore sex, although what was there was fun and erotic, definitely arousing, and loved the depth of knowledge and details about tattooing.

good ending

I hope there is a chapter 5, maybe from the psychologists POV? That would make interesting reading, also an epilogue from their child's pic in 18yrs time.

The story was amazing as a whole, and each of the four parts could stand alone as wonderful pieces.

I also wish to compliment the way you handled the point of incest. The audience of this site is obviously biased. But I feel, (provided the more graphic depictions were omitted or altered), that the story could be published anywhere logical (no schools). Three reasons.

a) At no time did you say or imply, with your story, that incest is a good thing. This go's a long way towards public acceptance.

b) The stories, together and individually, had clear meaning behind them. A wonderful teacher once thought me that all good stories must have a clear message to learn from. I believe this to be true and it glows in your work.

c) Your characters were relate able, reasonable, and reliable. (the three R's). This is important in all writing, but even more so when approaching delicate subjects. You did this wonderfully ensuring that throughout the piece. You ensured that each telling shared thought processes, this way a reader can understand the whys of the characters actions . You made the characters seem human, normal, so that a more personal connection could be made with the reader. And you were consistent, mean characters stayed mean, the nice, nice, and the lusty, lusty (rawr).

Your work is awesome, keep it up.

this is a very enjoyable read. realistic stories are my favorite

I'm sure it's kind of common now, but the first time I saw a picture that was basically a 360 degree view from somewhere, I was amazed.

I suppose it was using something similar to flash or Java but you could sort of roll the picture and it was like YOU were looking all around without leaving your current position.

This story is a lot like that. I've read other stories that have shown the same scenes from two different people's perspective but they just felt like rehashs.

This one feels like you're really part of the people whose perspective you're in and has a nice feel to it.

The only part I didn't like...? Wasn't because of the story but rather how STUPID could Madison BE? Asking a COP!?? Of course, in her case I don't think I'd be talking to my brother for years (if ever) after that. I guess that implies I think not all cases of incest are black and white wrong. Oh well...

Your writing is really good. In a way, I'm happy you didn't make it all about sex. While reading it, I felt that there was more to them than that. The little bit of stuff you put in was tasteful, and not overdone. And I'm glad you continued it. We got to see more of their story, and even learn a bit about the others. And Sarah and Kevin's dad deserved to die, in my thoughts. Call it sadistic, but I gotta agree with Sarah, that he died too quickly. But Kev was protecting Sarah, so he worked well. Of all the stories I've read, I think this series was my favorite.

I gotta say, it was kinda stupid of Madison to ask her brother, a cop, but I think at heart, she only had good intentions. And honestly, if the stuff that happened to Sarah happened to me, I'd go for my brother who knew of went on. It'd be kinda hard to trust guys after that, but I'd trust the guy who protected me, even if he is my brother.

Incest. Man, so many people have so many different feelings on it. The way I look at it: people say it's disgusting for two relatives to be in a sexual relationship. Sometimes, Christians say that it's unholy even. But what I find funny is the fact that going by the bible, we're all related. Going back to Adam and Eve, they populated the Earth, according to the bible. They're sons and daughters married and had offspring. Incest in it's earliest form. Amusing isn't it, when people tend to overlook things that they find doesn't suit them. But my point is, if they love and trust each other, it shouldn't matter what gender, or religion, or race, or even relation they are. I'd rather see a brother and sister in love than a man and woman who didn't like each other together. If they make you happy, then fuck the rest of the world. Find a way around it; if you truly love someone, shouldn't you be willing to do anything you can for them?

Please please please write an epilogue!!!!!!

I agree with you

ok the last few hours have been spent pretending to work while I secretly read all 4 parts of this. I know I am not the first nor will I be the last to say this but PUBLISH THIS AS A BOOK!!!! It is 98% better than anything out there. The exception being Tijan and Sabrina Page both who in my opinion are masters of the step-love stories. I am so jaw dropped impressed with you. Congrats, that is a rarity for me. xoxo Maliceon Books

One of the best story ive ever read and at the end i was in tears

Bout time they dropped the original sentence that bugged the hell outa me, shoulda been defense of a third person. But that wouldn't have set up the story either. All in all one of the best I've read. Would have liked to know what they were thinking and feeling as they crossed that finale line though

I only wish that the author had a facility with words equal to the demonstrated talent within these 4 chapters. It is a shame that such good concepts, characterization, and storytelling is marred by such an appalling lack of sophistication in the expression of the written word.

Prison over crowding (Due to prison over-crowding)

brother original trial (brother’s) (3)

miss trial (mistrial)

criss crossing (crisscrossing)

sits it down (sets)

When she look (looked)

What (do) you need

going to be tuff (tough)

House (house)

I'm a bartended (bartender)

Jury (jury)

over turned (overturned)

patients (patience)

sits quite (quiet)

All other remain (others)

try and (to)

more (-think) he's frothing (like????) (GIBBERISH!!!!)

it's way (its)

(my) growing arousal (-I me)

drawn out (drawn-out)

jurors shift in their seat uncomfortable (seats uncomfortably)

several of the jury shift (-I) their seats (members) (in)

over rules (overrules)

into camera (in front of the)

brought together and zip tied (-together) (zip-tied)

like to point out (-at no point in this was) (that) my client (was not) resisting

"Your honor I would like to point out that this is footage of a know murder being arrested not a shop lifter (known murderer) (shoplifter) ( IN ADDITION TO THIS BEING VERY CLUMSILY WRITTEN,THE DIALOG IS CLEARLY UTTERED BY THE PROSECUTOR, SINCE THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE COURTROOM IS THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY, WHO IS VERY UNLIKELY TO POINT OUT THIS OBSERVATION!!!! DESPITE THIS FACT, THERE IS NO INDICATION AS TO WHO IS SPEAKING IN THE TEXT!!!!)

swarming the building like locust (locusts)

questing only brings out more evidence (questioning)

(witness to be questioning) (effort to bolster his case through questioning this witness) (GOBBLEDGOOK!!!!)

know way of knowing (no)

do to the wrongful conviction (due) (2)

heart of (-heart) (hearts) (IF YOU MUST USE SUCH A CLICHED EXPRESSION HAVE THE INTEGRITY TO QUOTE IT CORRECTLY!!!!)

court room (courtroom)

disavow the information (disregard)

back to their seat (seats)

In regard to (Regarding)

every one (everyone)

Forman (foreman) (3)

People (people)

ad take (and)

no one gives a big rat's ass. God you must be brain dead to think a porno story and a erotic web site cares at all about errors. Just jerk off and be down with it.

IT seems every story you write needs to be sproofed read. Maybe you n3ed to jire the person here to proof read and correct you mistakes. It does make make for hard reading with miss splet words. Your stories are good but have read better ones. You do have a few hot stories

Definitely going in my top ten I've read on here for pure entertainment reading liked the different point of veiw from the characters. Ignore the hatters.

the mother of bomb shell surpises during the trail, WOW this whole story series reminds me why i hate societies fubared rules and laws,

Yeah, there were some spelling errors, if you care to fix them I'd just tiss the whole thing in Google docs. They didn't take away from the story though. I did see that there was one thing missing though: Part 5

Too many fantastic stories on this website get abandoned just at the absolute peak of their stories. When I saw this one was only two pages long, I was terrified, but thankfully it was well resolved. This whole series is fantastic.

Just wow. You are a very talented writer, I loved that you wrote it from multiple perspectives and did it with such ease. I loved every bit of it. As much as I would love a continuation, I feel like ending it where you did is perfect. Although If you were to choose to carry on I would be all over it.

Maybe I missed something but if not then holy inconsistencies Batman. Don’t get me wrong, I loved this story. One of the best I have read. However I can’t overlook the inconsistencies (if that’s what they are). It started with dialogue differences between part 1 and 2 but I could ignore that. The problem is that this story features a clip in which (while receiving her tattoo) Sara has sex with Kevin and that didn’t happen. Firstly, it was only a handjob. Secondly, the footage was deleted. Thirdly, they only have one “witness” and they could easily be ignore based on hearsay. One person told their friend (a stripper, which is a job the court gave no problem discrediting) that they were falling in love with their brother. They then went on to ask people if that was weird and somehow that leads to the prosecutor being in possession of a video tape of unprotected sex between both parties while one is receiving a tattoo. Unless it happened off screen and if so why was it off screen. That’s the point of this website and it’s also a plot point. Sorry if this was long and if it was explained and I missed it.

I guess you somehow missed it. The video was of the second time Sara was getting work done on her tat, which was never covered in the story. If you remember, the story continued after the first tat session, nobody was arrested at the shop while it was going on. The video of the first time was erased as you said, and was only a handjob. I agree that it is a bit confusing if you aren't paying attention, but overall it was a fantastic story, 5 stars from me.

This story was exciting,dramatic,sad,heartwarming,and dozens of other emotions.But in the second trial was the verdict considered Kevin's murder conviction wiped clean due to the mis-trial or will he still have that record.

Thankfully even tho the Judge was repulsed by Kevin and Sara's incest behavior he was still lenient and somewhat understanding.Finally did Sara and Kevin get to remain together,I sure hope so.

Well, there are multiple issues with the trial scene, but I'll skip over most of them on the basis of dramatic license. The one I am going to quibble over was the judge's threat to send him back for 10-20 years. The judge had already ruled that the original conviction was invalid, which means that there's no basis for that sort of sentence -- legally, the incest charge is now his first conviction, so the original sentence no longer applies and there's no parole violation. Like I said, I can overlook most of the problems, but a continuity error of that magnitude is a problem.

Also, why does the judge simply deliver Sara's sentence dispassionately, then turn around and say that he is "disgusted" with Kevin? Why isn't he equally disgusted with Sara?

In the state I set the story (not specifically mentioned but used for locations, story research, and legality as I was writing it) and a great many other states incest between adults is a felony. Class- B, to be specific. With a punishment ranging from five years ... to life imprisonment. So, the judges threat of 10-20 is not an error.

Wrote for dramatic effect, yes, but not a legal error.

He was disgusted with Kevin and not Sara because he saw Kevin ( a man with tattoos and a stint served in prison, deserved or not) as the main instigator of the crime, and Sara as its undeserving victim.

Again, it's dialog also wrote for dramatic effect.

MST

Would love for another chapter to see Sara and kev talking with their mum

So lemme get this straight, the big romantic, erotic blow-off that we had was filtered through the eyes of a court case? This story is like writing about a fine meal and ending with the big wet shit you took afterwords.

Leaving aside how you wrapped all this up. Leaving aside that this went to full trial (obviously for dramatic effect) because the defense would have stated his intent to throw out the original conviction before a Jury was ever selected, and they were not truly fighting the incest case. You could have had plenty of dramatic effect without a jury trial honestly. but you went for the Law & Order recipe to the story almost entirely.

Any and ALL of that aside;

Editing! Dear gods, editing!

Delineate between brakes in the story and time lapse moments. You have it going from one paragraph told first person by one character to the next being told in first person by ANOTHER character with absolutely no thing to differentiate. I literally had to back track my reading several times to make sure I was catching a point of character change. Honestly, my momentary confusion of why Kevin was smoothing out his skirt was a priceless moment.

I read these stories for enjoyment, not as a critic, I really enjoyed it.

What happened? The other installments were excellent. This one was rushed, disjointed, and poorly edited.

I only docked one star because it has been an engaging series. Yet I’m disappointed in the finale.

That said, thank you for sharing your talent with us. I’ve been working my way through your stories and thoroughly enjoy your writing.