tagGroup SexTo Go Please Tanya

To Go Please Tanya


"Hi! Sorry I'm late."

"That's okay. I ordered us a bottle of wine while I was waiting, since it's your turn to pay."

"Let's see what you got... Hey, not bad! Have you been learning about wine, or was this just a lucky choice?"

"If you must know, I recently dated a guy who was both knowledgeable and patient enough to teach me, unlike you!"

"Don't be snarky; I thought we'd agreed to let bygones be bygones at these six-monthly dinners."

"You're right; I'm sorry. Fill up my glass, why don't you?"

"Here you go... This place is new, isn't it?"

"Yes, it opened about three months ago. I come here a lot since I live just around the corner."

"So, tell me: How are the twins?"

"When did you last hear from them?"

"Marty emails me whenever he needs money, but I haven't really heard from Suzy since the divorce... except for a cool message every Father's Day."

"Yes, she used to worship you, you know, and our divorce hit her really hard. Thirteen is a difficult age for an upheaval like that."

"So is thirty-five! But it's been - what? - seven years now, for God's sake! How much longer is she going to hate me?"

"It's not just you. She says she hates all men."

"Oh, well, that's a relief! Seriously, I thought she'd grow out of it once she went away to college."

"Me too, but it's stronger than ever."

"What about her friends?"

"Well, that's part of the problem. She's really close to her college roommate, and they... er... you know..."

"They what?"

"Must I spell it out for you? They... sleep together."

"Well, of course they do; they're roommates. Oh! You mean... they sleep together, as in sleep together?"


"How do you know?"

"I came home early from work one afternoon when Suzy was last home from college, and there were... you know... noises coming from her bedroom."


"Gasping, moaning, shouts of 'Yes, Oh, YES! Do that again!' I thought she had a boyfriend with her and he was... er... fucking her, if you'll pardon the expression."

"We did enough of that back when we were together! I remember you were pretty vocal, too."

"Yes... well, anyway, I didn't want to interrupt them. She's twenty now - almost twenty-one - and we've had the talk. You know, the detailed one."

"What? Pregnancy; contraception; STDs?"

"She knew all that when she was twelve! No, this one covered who does what to whom and in what positions; all the major erogenous zones (his and hers); the pros and cons of each of the major orifices (his and hers); sex toys; threesomes; group sex... What am I missing?"

"You know about all that stuff?"

"Well, I've read a bit. And there's always the internet. And it has been seven years, you know. Time hasn't stood still."

"Neither have you, by the sound of it! I wish I'd been a fly on the wall! What did you say?"

"I tried to be up-front about it, of course, but I did get embarrassed when she asked if I'd ever had sex with another woman. Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, she's an adult and on her own now, at least when it comes to sex. So, I made myself a cup of tea and sat reading the evening paper, waiting for them to finish.

"Imagine my surprise - and theirs! - when Suzy walked into the kitchen - stark naked, no less! - followed by her roommate, also naked. It had been years since I'd seen a naked girl, and - I wouldn't say this to anyone else - my heart just lurched, you know?"

"You? Turned on by seeing Suzy naked? I don't believe it!"

"I bet you would have been! Anyway, it wasn't so much Suzy as her roommate. She is absolutely gorgeous: long dark hair, a face and body to die for, lovely pert breasts with big nipples like raspberries and the cutest little ass you've ever seen... with the possible exception of Pippa Middleton's, of course. You're drooling!... Oh, excuse me!"

"Good evening, ma'am. It's good to see you again."

"Hello, Tanya! Likewise."

"Good evening, sir. My name is Tanya and I'll be taking care of you tonight. Do you see anything you fancy, ma'am?"

"You know I do, Tanya! But would you tell us about tonight's Chicken Special, please?"

"Certainly, ma'am; it's very... special. The chef takes two thighs and kneads them until they're soft and tender. Then when they're moist and ready, he skewers them and stuffs them with his own sauce. He tried it out on me, and believe me... It's something else!"

"It certainly sounds like something else! I think I'll have the very special Special, please."

"And for you, sir?"

"The Special for me too, please, Tanya."

"Certainly, sir. And it comes with a salad. You don't like dressing, do you ma'am?"

"No; I'll be undressed as usual, please Tanya."

"And I'll get undressed for you, ma'am, just as soon as I can. I hope it won't be too long. And for you, sir?"

"Can you give me a little bit of French on the side, please, Tanya?"

"Certainly, sir; that can be good too. I'll get these orders in right away."


"What's gotten into you? Were you two flirting? You're old enough to be her mother, for God's sake!"

"Well, she is quite cute and she's got this great sense of humor. Did you notice how her eyes twinkled as she described the Special? Just your cup of tea, I'd have thought."

"You have loosened up since we were married!"

"Welcome to the new me."

"Well, then, new you: Go on about Suzy and her gorgeous bedmate. What did they do?"

"Well, you know Suzy... she could rise to any occasion. Cool as a cucumber, she said:

'Oh, hello Mom; you're home early!' and went to the fridge to get herself something to drink!

'Why don't you introduce me to your friend?' I asked. The poor girl was standing there trying to hide herself behind the kitchen table.

'Sorry! Babs, this is my Mom. Mom, this is Babs. We're lovers.'

'Umm... Yes, so I gathered. Hello, Babs. Welcome! I'm sorry I wasn't here when you came.'

'Mom! I cannot believe you just said that! You're not going to be snarky about this, are you? We're both old enough to choose whom to love. Don't knock it till you've tried it!'

"She was serious, for God's sake! My own daughter was urging me to try out for the other team!"

"That's my Suzy!"

"Anyway, I was finding it difficult to tear my eyes away from Babs, who noticed me looking her over and was blushing furiously and trying to cover herself, like Venus in that Botticelli painting.

"But later that night, as I lay in bed listening to them make love yet again, I found my hand creeping in between my legs and images of being with another woman filled my head. I came with a delicious intensity that I'd all but forgotten."

"Oh, my dear; this is a new direction for you! Did you follow up on it?"

"I'll need some more wine before I can tell you that! In the meantime, tell me: How's life with you?"

"Oh, pretty drab."


"Even drabber. It's my turn to teach the course on Keats; and to quote one of my brighter students: 'A thing of duty is a bore forever'."

"That's worth an A, right there! How about sex?"

"What? Right now?"


"It's the drabbest."

"That doesn't sound like you."

"Oh, you know... I keep getting older and the girls keep getting younger. Where's it all going to end? Just the other day it came to me that middle age is the punishment you get for having once been young!"

"Do you want to have a good whine about it?"

"A good whine with a good wine? Yes, please! I've taken up writing erotica in my copious spare time. Don't look at me like that; someone's got to do it, and it pays better than essays on Keats!

"But let me tell you about this one time - it must have been about two months ago. It was Saturday evening around ten-thirty, and I was walking home across campus... All right, I'll be honest - I was cruising! - when this young girl accosted me:

'Hey, Mister! If you buy me a drink, I'll let you fuck me.'

'Aren't you a little young for that?'

'Which? I'm old enough to fuck; just not old enough to drink. 'S why I need you to get it f'me.'

"I should have walked on by, but I hadn't been laid in weeks and I was feeling desperate, so I said:

'I've got some booze in my apartment. Would that do?'

'What booze?'

'All sorts.'

'Okay. 'S a deal.'


'Hey... Nice place you've got here.'

'Thank you. What'll you have?'

'Umm... Rum 'n' Coke? Lots of rum, easy on the Coke.'

'Please yourself. I think I'll have some wine. So, what's your name?'

'Umm... You can call me Suzy.'


'What d'you mean 'No'?'

'You need to choose a different name.'

'Dumped you, did she? All right, Pops. I'll be Gloria - that do you?'

"'Pops', for God's sake! I was already beginning to regret this pick-up. 'Gloria' sat back on the settee opposite me, chewing gum and swilling rum and Coke from a cut-glass tumbler as if it were Kool-Aid. In the light, I could see that she was even younger than I'd thought - nineteen, maybe? She was wearing blue denim shorts that barely covered her ass, and an orange elastic tube top that left her pierced belly-button with its inevitable hardware exposed and glinting.

'Hungry, Pops? Not had any recently? Mix me 'nother one, 'kay? Then maybe I'll see to your needs.'

"God! Was this what I was reduced to? Trading drinks for sex with a girl who was younger than my daughter?

"Somewhere deep inside my head, I felt lust and shame preparing for battle. But I'd been here before and thought I knew just how to tilt the battlefield: I refreshed her drink, took another large gulp of my wine and waited for it to hit bottom.

'By the way, Pops; the deal is for straight sex, 'kay? No kinky stuff. And you'll wear a rubber; I've got one if you need one. And you won't stop till I tell you, 'kay? 'S why I like older men; they find it harder to get their rocks off... All the better for me.'

'Don't you have a boyfriend?'

'Several, and some girlfriends too. Trying to work out which I like best.'

'And how's that going for you?'

'Well, the guys mostly just want to fuck me... you know? No flowers, no foreplay, nothing to make a girl feel special. To them, I'm just another cunt... or another asshole, if I let them go there.

'The girls? They mostly want romance: they want to read poetry, fall in love, and hear extravagant promises that I've always forgotten making by next morning. So, somewhere between the two I'm looking for the zipless fuck - you know, like in 'Fear of Flying'?'

"She'd read Erica Jong? That's a surprise."

"It's assigned reading in my freshman English class; she'd probably read the Cliff Notes. It occurred to me that I may already have had this girl... academically speaking, that is.

'Okay, Pops. I'm getting a nice buzz on now. We'd better fuck before I pass out. You ready?'

"The spirit was willing, but the flesh? The flesh seemed to have decided all on its own that this one wasn't for me. Despite the wine, lust was in danger of being trounced by shame. I don't know whether the problem was her incessant gum-chewing, her resemblance to Suzy, or her offhand approach to intimacy. Intimacy! I'd never felt less intimate in my life! But whatever it was, my body felt dead from the waist down.

'This must be how it feels to be impotent,' I thought. 'What on earth am I going to do?'"

"Could move your elbow?"

"It wasn't my elbow I was worried about! Oh! Sorry, Tanya. Yes, of course."

"Thank you, sir. Here's your little bit on the side. And yours, ma'am."


"Stark naked, I promise. Will there be anything else?"

"I hope so, Tanya... But we're okay for the time being."


"Go on, then. I'm longing to hear how you got out of this one."

"Well... without breaking eye contact, she stripped off her orange tube top to reveal a pair of teenage breasts that would normally have had me salivating. Both nipples wore little silver rings that matched her belly button ornament.

'Didn't that hurt?'

'Like buggery, and I should know! But how else do you know you're alive?'

"My heart sank. Where did this generation come from? And - more to the point - where were they headed?

"But there was no stopping her now. She undid her belt buckle, lifted her hips from the settee and slid her shorts down to her ankles. No underwear... no surprise. With one foot, she flicked her shorts towards me, where they landed gracefully in my lap.

'Aren't you going to smell them, then?'

"I did as she suggested, hoping that her intimate scent would trigger some response from my dormant prick; but even the musky smell from where her crotch had rubbed against the denim shorts failed to get a rise out of me. Her pussy was completely shaved - not a hair in sight - making it look like the cuntlet of a girl half her age. And I was already feeling like a cradle-snatcher!

"But as she'd flicked me her shorts, I'd caught a sudden glimpse of something shiny and metallic in her crotch.

'What's that between your legs?'

'Oh, didn't I mention that? Silly me! Come take a look, why don't you?'

"She lay back naked on the settee and spread her legs apart, revealing - of all the grotesque things! - a tiny silver padlock holding her pierced pussy lips together over her vagina.

'Good God! How long have you worn that?'

'My Dad fitted me up as soon as I hit puberty. And he wouldn't tell me the combination! Worked it out, though! Lay in bed at night and went through all the possibilities. 'S how I learned to masturbate.

'He should've put a lock on my asshole too. Or shoved a mousetrap up there.'

"I winced at the image, but you know how much I like puzzles. For the first time, I felt my interest in this girl begin to stir; and with it, my prick.

'The padlock slows guys down a bit and makes them fumble around in my pussy, which ain't all bad. Anyway, you want to have it in? Guess the combination and it's all yours.'

"She was becoming more interesting by the minute. Vanity yielded to curiosity as I put on my glasses to take a closer look at the padlock. It was a combination lock requiring a four-letter word to open; why was I not surprised? But what was her four-letter word?

"There were so many to choose from: CUNT would be too obvious, I thought; FUCK too... but it might be fun to try them. This was better than a cryptic crossword! As I reached in between her open legs to start running through the possibilities, the solution suddenly flashed into my mind. Of course! Her father had set this combination! Suddenly, I was certain that I knew the answer to her riddle.

'Hmm... Let's see now: C, U, N, T... Nope. F, U, C, K... Not that either.

'Why don't you bend over the back of the sofa here and stick your ass up where I see what I'm doing? There... that's much better!'

'If you go for my asshole, I'll scream; and then where would you be, Pops?'

'Caught in a mousetrap, maybe? Then I'd scream!'

'Hey, you're not so bad... for a wrinkly.'

'For a what?'

'A wrinkly... You know, a golden oldie: someone over twenty-five.'

'You'll get there soon enough, my girl,' I thought. 'Then watch the goalposts shift!'

'In my day, we called them 'growns'.


'No, 'growns'. You know, short for 'grown-ups'... and because they did.'

'Did what?'

'Groan, of course! Now, hold still while I try another combination.'

'Hey, I like feeling your hands in my pussy; don't solve it too quickly, Pops!'

"No chance of that. Although I was now sure I knew the combination, I was enjoying the feel of her hairless, moistening cuntlet, and I needed a little more time to let my prick finish swelling.

'What are you trying now?'

'C, L, I, T?'

'No, but you can rub it if you like. Have you tried H, O, L, E?

'Why? Is that it?'

'N, O, P, E!'

'T, W, A, T!'

'N, I, C, E!'

'S, T, O, P?'

'D, O, N, T!'

'How about S, E, X, Y? Am I getting W, A, R, M?'

'I H, O, P, E so, because I certainly am!'

"Fully hard at last, I dropped my pants, unrolled a condom, and dialed in what I was sure was going be the winning combination.

'Then let's try: S... U... Z... Y... Jackpot!'

'P, O, P, S!... F, U, C, K me! Take your payment for the booze!'

'Who's paying whom here?' I wondered to myself, as I entered her from behind just as she was, bent over the back of the sofa, her pussy at exactly the right level for my prick.

'Hmm... I'll show you what a wrinkly can do,' I thought to myself.

"In my wine-embroidered state of mind, I had this crazy idea that I could erase her dystopic world-view with one mind-blowing fuck. Who knows? Maybe I did!

"I began to rock into her body, slowly at first and then - as I felt her begin to respond - with increasing depth and tempo. If you remember, I've always been able to control my own response in that position, and the older I get, the easier it is. So I knew I could keep this up for as long as necessary.

"Suddenly - for the first time in a long, long while - I felt in complete control: in control of my body, of her body, of the moment... in fact, in control of Life, the Universe and Everything! It was a heady feeling, one that I'd all but forgotten. Scream, would she? I'd make her scream all right... with delight!

"She began to moan, quietly at first, and then a little louder with each thrust, reminding me of the restaurant scene in 'When Harry Met Sally'.

'Give it to me, Pops! Drill me and screw me! Oh, fuck it... just hammer and nail me! Ohh... That feels so fucking goooood!'

"I reached down, grabbed a handful of her hair, and pulled her head back, hearing her gasp with surprise. At the same time, she arched her back and pushed back against my invading prick, opening herself up and matching my rhythm stroke for stroke. I noticed her hand sneak up between her legs, so I reached in from the other side.

'Hello, fingers! Fancy meeting you here!' I thought, as we jostled for access to her swollen clit.

"She was like an open book beneath me: I knew exactly what she was feeling as her orgasm approached. Throwing caution to the wind, I ran my knuckle down her open crack and traced little tight circles around her gaping asshole.

'I told you; I'll scr... OMIGOD! Don't... stop!'

"I wondered briefly whether that was 'DON'T! STOP!!' or 'DON'T STOP!!' But maybe this wasn't the moment to quiz her about punctuation... so I didn't: quiz her, or stop, that is.

"Her scream, when it came, probably woke the neighbors, but it was a scream of unmistakable passion and delight. No one was going to call the cops this time. Eventually, she released the cushion she'd been biting and gasped:

'Oh my-fucking-jesus-christ-almighty-god-what-did-you-just-do-to-me?'

'Was that all right, then? You're gibbering...'

'You'd gibber too if you'd felt what I just felt, Pops. I never knew that sex could feel like that! Will you do me again?'

'It would be my pleasure.'

"And it was..."

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