Too Spicy to Touch

Justin had assembled his ideal Tuesday night- his blankets cool under his bare back, his pillow soft under his head, and his boyfriend's mouth warm around his cock. Eric's lips puffing out with the practiced strokes. The wet, sliding mouth deliberately bobbed from Justin's base to his tip.

But Justin wasn't looking at the lips, his eyes were clenched shut. He nestled against his sheets, and switched from a fantasy of sex on the beach, to hooking up at a bar. He imagined leaving campus and heading downtown meeting a cute bartender at one of the high-end lounge. He'd stand out from the other undergraduates with his wit and charms, and then convincing the bartender to leave his shift and meet him in the bathroom.

"A little slower," Justin mumbled. Eric responded; his lips taking their time across Justin's every inch, circling at the head. Yes, just like that. He'd be pressed against the back of the bathroom stall, with the bearded bartender - no, stubbled—running hands down his length. He would moan, and the bartender would increase the pace, gripping him desperately.

"Ok, faster," Justin panted. He heard a grunt from across the bed, but ignored it. The strokes on his dick increased, but not fast enough. He could feel the blood swelling his balls, the pressure of his build up becoming uncomfortable. "Faster. Come on." He buried his face sideways into the pillow.

Then there was nothing on him. Just cold air, and goosebumps pebbling on his bare thighs. Justin grumbled a complaint. When moments passed with no resumption of the attention, his eyes squinted open. "Hey, what's up?"

Eric was sitting further back on the bed. His palms were rubbing clean the saliva from his lips, in that little prim motion that Justin found pretty pretentions. "Nothing. I was getting tired." His lips curled. "And you still asked me to keep on going?"

Justin felt the acid in his stomach that started when they fought. He rolled upright- his groin pressure felt uncomfortable. "Uh. Sorry. Not sure how I was supposed to notice that."

A flash of fabric- Eric was putting his pants back on. "I don't know who needs to you that you need to notice what you're partner is feeling?"

"I could notice things a lot more if you said things clearly, instead of making me figure out your meaning like it's a fucking English assignment.

Eric's lips curled into a frown that looked like a smile. When Justin had first met him, he'd been coming home from the gym and had heard Eric at a spoken word showcase at the campus center. Then, that frown-smile had seemed intriguing, and intoxicating. Now, it just seemed over-complicated.

His stomach gurgled. He didn't want a fight right now. "Look. I'm sorry I didn't notice. Come lye down with me. You can rely on me I won't do it again."

Eric didn't join him on the bed. It wasn't until he spoke that Justin realized the extent of the distance. "Ok. Let me be super short, if that's clear for you."

"I don't like the way you treat me. And I can't rely on you for shit.

Five Months Later

At first glance, camp Long Lake seemed the image of the classic American summer camp. A sprawling complex of wooden and brick buildings ducked and emerged from between pines, before coming up to crowd the glittering expanse of a lake stretching far beyond. Bunk houses were bordered by volleyball courts with grass poking through the sand, and the picnic tables by the gravel paths seemed older than the trees they rested under.

But as Justin walked past the bunkhouses, it was clearly evident what made this camp so different. Rather than bunk names like "Eagle Bunk," or "Willow Bunk", he passed "Cardamon", "Umami", and "Charnuska". Rather than passing campers on their way to a kayak trip or coming back from basketball, he passed several of the tweens emerging from the hydroponics center, dirt covering their hands. His noise crinkled appreciatively as he passed the barbeque pits. When he reached the main kitchens, the sprawling, multi-chimneyed building far outstripped any other structure at the camp.

He slipped through the counselor door and into the prep kitchens, planning to get some work done before orientation. This summer was a new start, he reminded himself. This was his second summer working at the camp as a prep chef, and he appreciated being on the other side of the fantastic cooking lessons he'd enjoyed as a kid. He was far away from campus, and all its bad memories.

By the time the staff gathered in a circle for orientation, he'd prepared a tray of carrots for the campers to use, and had expertly gathered new gossip from one of the new prep chefs, who had introduced herself as Aurelia. She wasn't the only new hire, apparently. Over the winter, their old head chef had moved to Albania. The new guy was supposed to be real good. Aurelia, in between wiping her eyes above the onions, mentioned she had heard he'd traveled to cook in each continent.

When their kitchen manager Mitch had the staff go around for introductions, Justin made sure to pay attention.

Mitch's voice was aggressively cheerful. "And today we have a special treat- a new face. Say hi all Edgar Santos, our new Chef leading the prep work for lessons."

The new head chef's cool smile seemed to balance his bright violet jeans and dark earrings. He nodded to the staff, before speaking in a lightly accented, husky tone.

"It is a high pleasure to be here with you all. Camp Long Lake's reputation goes before it, and I am certain I will be learning from each of you."             

Mitch clapped his hands. Justin noticed a line of sweat trickling down the older' man's temple. "Excellent. We're glad to welcome you, Eddy. Here at Long Lake we like to think of our team as a family, where we support each other.

"We'll finish the introductions later on- you all will have a lot of time to get to know each other over the next hour"

Confused murmurs from around him.

"2^nd year's first lesson on knife work is today. We'll need to get everything ready by then."

The older staff exchanged stressed glances. Justin grit his teeth. Not this shit again.

Aurelia swore. "Mierda. Doesn't that take two hours to set up?"

Mitch's smile disappeared "We're going to work together on this. Working together, it will get done."

The prep work did not get done. When the 2^nd year class and the knife instructor finished trickling into the learning tables, only 3/4 of the necessary vegetables and meat were prepped. Justin did his best to spread out the carrots amongst the tables.

The kids were blissfully unaware, just laughing as they decided who smelled the most like manure from gardening lessons prior. But at the front, the knife instructor and class teacher's voices were heated.

"This lesson is highly important. They need appropriate practice in order to finish the rest of the week's lesson safely."

Mitch batted his forehead with a handkerchief. "I completely understand. It's, ahh. Well. Well, you see, we've had a lot of turnover." Mitch's hand herked across the room at Aurelia, and Eddie. "It will take me some time to train them. But we should be fine moving forward."

Justin grimaced, trying to let the slight to the team roll over him. He tried to tell himself it wasn't his fault that they hadn't finished.

He almost bumped into Eddy on his way out. The chef was standing in the door, looking at Mitch. His face was dark, lips pressed tight.

Cleaning up that night, Eddy's lips loosened. "That puta is lucky the children were around us. The disrespect. He messed up the time for our schedule, then blames his workers. More childish than the students."

Next to them at the sink, Aurelia laughed.

Justin nervously checked the door of the washroom. "He's not that bad. He's a nice guy. Just sometimes he acts like that in front of the higher-up staff."

Eddy balanced a drying plate on his finger. As they watched, he spun it into a rapid, water flinging oscillation, before tipping it onto the stack. "A nice guy? No good guy treats those under him with such callousness." Another plate hit the stack. "And I saw him trying to peel those potatoes. Next time he speaks of teamwork, I will ask he helps the team by avoiding the knives."

This time, Justin chuckled along. Eddy looked defined in the dim washroom light- the ancient bulbs illuminating his lean arms and stubbled, angry jaw.

Should he be angry, as well? Last year, he'd felt so vulnerable as the first-year employee. But Eddy was a new too. And anger looked good on him.

By the end of the week, Justin, Eddy, and Aurelia were chatting and joking frequently during work. Friday was a unit on seafood, and when Aurelia was selected to lead prep, the two guys came to help her set up the tables.

"Careful with these hombres" Eddy joked to one of the kids, sliding a plate of unpeeled shrimp in front of them. "They're a little fishy" .

The students laughed, relaxing around him.

Justin tried to mimic the energy when he supplied his table. "I hope you all like amongus," he said with a big grin. " Cuz they're something off about these imposters." The joke was only met with empty stares. His biggest laugh came from Eddy.

"Dios Mio Justin, the shrimp is supposed to be dead, not the vibe." Eddy sniggered as he arrayed sauce ingredients onto a serving tray. "Aren't you like, supposed to be cool back at your school?"

Justin responded in a voice low enough that only Eddy and Aurelia could hear. "Ok, at least I'm not a 30-year-old man with a humor that matches the 9-year-olds."

Aurelia pinched their arms, ushering them back to work. They continued to whisper at each other.

Eddy's face was beaming. "I get away with it because I'm so pretty."

"Yeah, you're pretty, dude. Pretty immature."

With the last of the lesson's materials set up, they retreated to the back of the classroom where Mitch and the rest of the staff was on hand. Aurelia rolled her eyes. "Will you old ladies stop flirting around me, dear hell. I get enough of this from—"

"Uh, excuse me?" The class's head teacher cut across the room with a strident tone. "There's a problem." Mitch hurried over, already panic drawing his features. "Our class is scheduled to work with yellowtail, not shrimp. There's a shellfish allergy clearly marked."

Mitch put on a practiced smile that looked as if it could use more practice. "Oh, small mistake. We're sorry-"

"As instructors, we should never put the safety of a student at risk."

The tone held a threat. Mitch swallowed. "Oh, yes. Believe me, I am always thinking of these preparations with safety in mind. " His voice dropped. "One of our new hires was responsible for the prep today." His shoulders indicated Aurelia. "I'll talk to her."

Justin felt Aurelia stiffen beside him. He himself was confused - their assignment sheet had mentioned nothing of yellowtail.

But Eddy was a step ahead of him. "Excuse me, can I interrupt." He had approached the instructor and Mitch, and continue before they acknowledged him. "Our staff had no warning of any allergies today. And so, we continued with the prep work the same as the other classes."

Mitch's tense posture sent a command that Eddy seemed to not notice. "Our work schedule for today was not updated. I am sorry for the risk to your student, and our staff will clear it out right away. But our new hires are not at fault."

Seeing Eddy stand relaxed in the middle of the tense room, Justin thought he was the coolest person he'd known.

Mitch didn't seem to share this opinion, as they learned while cleaning from the lesson. "First strike... Edgar Soros, inappropriate conduct." His hand annunciated each word with a jab of his pen on a pink form.

Eddy paused; arms full of dirty napkins. "Inappropriate? Speaking the truth is inappropriate?"

"We're a family, remember that, Eddy. We have to support each other, not berate each other." Mitch rubbed his brow. "Look, I'm sorry about the schedule mix-up. I would have smoothed it over. But you can't contradict me like that in front of the instructional staff."

Eddy didn't respond, his face just gathered a black cloud that persisted even as he shouldered his way out the door. Justin quickly followed him down the gravel path.

Justin couldn't catch up with him until Eddie was deep in the garden, past the arugula, almost to the sunflowers. Bright noonday sun bathed the green fronds and orange petals in a saturated filter, and to Justin, Eddie seemed almost unnaturally present in the world as he drew a lighter to his cigarette with shaking fingers.

The older man gave a start as Justin's feet crunching on the mulch announced his presence. The lighter disappeared. "I know they're not allowed at camp. But I use it for stress."

Just be real with him, Justin thought. "Nah it's ok. I wouldn't rat on you. We got to do what we can with the stress in this job. "

Eddie clapped his back, and his touch felt warm. "Thanks hombre. What do you do for to keep level? You always seem so calm in there."

The complement left Justin feeling heady. For a second, he saw Eric's pouting face, and guilt twisted his stomach. No more. Time to be present and authentic.

"Uh, well I usually masturbate to help with stress." As soon as the words left his lips he almost stumbled, feet nearly tramping a poor basil plant. Ah definitely too authentic.

But Eddie was laughing hard, a red flush spreading over his tan skin. "Wow, what a coincidence. Me too." He smiled, and Justin wanted to think there was something more to the glance. Before the moment could pass, Justin rushed forward.

"Hey, uh. Please don't get any more strikes from Mitch."

"Eh? Mitch the Snitch can eat my..."

"I know." Justin stared up at the cloudless sky. "It's just. It would really suck if you had to leave. Like, super boring in the kitchen for one thing.

"I know you're trying to help us younger staff out. But we really want you to stay around. Consider it."

Eddie laughed again, still smiling. Justin felt warmth that he knew wasn't coming from the sun.

The next day, Justin didn't see Eddie smile. The news came early- they would be starting their spices unit, and Eddie would be the sole preparer for the peppers. According to Mitch, the spicier peppers- Serrano, Ghost, even Reaper- presented a liability concern, and only Eddie was sufficiently trained. It was bullshit, was what it was.

During their next lesson, Justin observed Eddie. The older chef was careful with his hand and, never casually touching anywhere near the prepared food or his face.

"Gotta be rough on the guy," Aurelia mused from beside Justin. She surreptitiously popped a serrano into her mouth, chewing easily. "Most of these peppers aren't too bad with the seeds removed, but he's got that oil all over his hands... not sure how he itches. Or worse, puts in contacts."

The lesson went smoothly. But that night Justin found himself laying awake in his bunk, thinking about Eddie- the lines etched into his forehead, and the red tinge between his fingers. Justin rolled over, groaning. The knot of anxiety in his stomach twisted. His ex's words - "I can't rely on you for anything" stung in his thoughts, like they'd been doing for the past several months.

He didn't want to be someone who was oblivious. He wanted to be reliable. Eddie had to be in trouble right now- stressed about Mitch, and now unable to touch his own skin.

Justin sat upright. The anxiety had morphed—he was still stressed, but now with a note of excitement. Eddie was stressed. And he wouldn't be able to use his favorite destressing method.

Eddie's cabin was set behind most of the other staff buildings, but with the moon overhead Justin was still clearly illuminated against the cabin door. He glanced up the path nervously, before knocking against the hard wood.

For several seconds there was no noise from inside, long enough for Justin to worry Eddy was sleeping. Then the door opened to reveal Eddie standing in t shirt and briefs, knife clutched in his hand. Justin stumbled back.

"Whoa Justin hey- hey it's ok! Sorry, was just doing some whittling to wind down the night. Come on inside."

Justin quickly slid in behind him, glad to no longer be out where he could be spotted. He knew it would be bad if word got out he'd come here so late.

Eddie's bed creaked as its owner sat back down on it. It was a trim 4 poster twin bed, nestled up under a window so moonlight could fall onto the neat sheets. Eddie's whittling project sat on the pillow; Justin could recognize what looked like a sunflower emerging from the block.

Eddie was rummaging in a minifridge. "How you doing amigo? Can I grab you a beer?"

It took Justin several seconds to get over the sight of Eric bending over into the fridge, and several more to be able to respond. "Uh. Yeah, Beer. Love it." It wasn't until the cool drink was pushed into his hands did he realize how warm he felt.

"You doing ok, man? You look a little stressed." Eddie's voice held concern with its normal entrancing ease.

Justin swallowed. Reliable. That was one reason for this. "Nah I'm good. Actually, I came over because I wanted to check on you. I know those peppers have to have you fucked up."

Eddie grimaced. "Yeah they really do linger. But I'm careful not to touch."

"Yeah, exactly." Reliable, Justin thought. Sure. But to be honest, there was something he wanted out of this. "You can't touch yourself. And well, you know. You told me your favorite way to blow off stress..."

In front of him, Eddie became still. Justin desperately tried to read him, but the older man's face was drawn into a handsome neutral mask. Eddie couldn't insinuate, Justin realized. Not with him being in the position he was in. Justin would have to be more clear.

"It's like... I know with those peppers, you can't masturbate. Believe me I know" Justin laughed nervously. "Once when I was 19... after making salsa for dinner... It was rough."

Eddie laughed with him. It was enough. Justin crossed the distance between them, closing his hand around Eddie's shirt hem. "I know it sucks... to feel all pent up like that. " He tugged Eddie down onto the bed. The mattress made an anticipatory sproing. "I was thinking... uh. Maybe I could help you out."

Eddie's rapid breaths were a warm breeze on Justin's neck. "Hey... come on. Are you joking around?"

In response, Justin lowered himself onto his knees on the rough wooden floor. Eddie's bare thighs surrounded him on either side. "Nah, I'm not joking. Look. You've helped me a lot this summer. We're really good coworkers, and I, uh. I want to make sure you're taken care of."

"Right. Nothing says good coworker then helping with masturbation. Sure," Eddie said. His voice seemed doubtful. But Justin could see a different story in how his chest rose and fall, the pecs standing out against the thin T, in how the muscles in his thighs strained and tightened, and how Eddie's cock had begun to press visibly against the fabric of the briefs.

Justin felt his vision swim. He wanted more then anything to bridge these last few inches, to touch Eddie's warm skin. He realized he'd wanted it for days. But he'd promised himself, after last time. Listen.

"Ok, not just coworkers. More. " Justin looked up from between Eddie's legs, his eyes huge in the moonlight. "I really like you. I want you. Do you... want me?"

Several seconds passed. Eddie's breath still came in slow, ragged drags. "We really shouldn't, Justin.

"But yes, yes I want you." Eddie's hand pushed a slow circle against Justin's shirt. "I've wanted you really bad. I-augh"

Justin sucked hard on Eddie's inner thigh, and his statement dissolved into a grunt. Justin felt as if he was starving. He moved down Eddie's thigh, kissing deeply, running the edges of his teeth against the muscle. The skin was salty under his tongue, and he needed more. He kept going, pushing Eddie's legs apart so he could fit his head deeper, so he could run his teeth along the edges of the briefs, where the hair grew thicker and lush.