Top Perspective

Top Perspective

Look, I'm not gay. I love women! Women are smart and sexy! I love boobs as much as the next guy. Women are my world and I would do anything for the ones in my life. My former girlfriends were good people, but things just never worked out. I wanted a traditional woman, but didn't expect them to just comply with my wants. Eventually we grew apart because of our differences. All three of them. That said, you have to admit. Feminine boys are hot. And I don't mean flamboyant gay men. I like younger gay boys of proper age. The ones I see online are just so freaking cute! They look and act like anime girls. And what's straighter than liking anime girls? But there's no chance I'd ever get to meet a femboy in real life. I'm told that they hide themselves and only dress up when they're alone. So how am I ever going to find one? Pick random gay men and hope they're secretly a femboy? No way. It's fine, I guess. I prefer girls anyway. I've been with and hooked up with so many women already though. I got to at least try a femboy out before I go and find a new girlfriend. It's all so hopeless!

I remember reading online something about how to find femboys. It spoke of queer social clubs. That they tend to be themselves there. The only problem is that I'm a straight dude. I'd stick out like a sore thumb and a bit overweight. I bet even if I could find a femboy at a social group he wouldn't even want me. I think femboys have really high standards. I peeked at a femboy forum online once and saw how they would complain about "creepy men" messaging them. God forbid I end up being one of those creepy men. What do they even mean by that? Older? Fatter? I'm 32 and 230 pounds! I must be the definition of a creep. Not to mention that I want to date one in his early twenties. I hope that makes me better than the "18 only" sort. Not that there's anything wrong with dating an 18 year old, but I prefer my partners to have a little more life experience than that. Or at least that's what I tell myself in the hopes of being seen as socially acceptable.

It seems I have no other choice. I Googled some queer social clubs in my area and found quite a lot. One of the benefits of living in a large liberal city. Their next meeting is tomorrow.

"Okay, dude. You got this," I narrate. I hope what I'm wearing will be good. Nothing too classy but not understated. I need to remember to not get my hopes up. There might not be any femboys there at all. I just need to focus on making friends because God knows I could use some of those.

I get in my car and drive to the location. It's in a colorful single building with lots of glass. The receptionist guides me to the area. I arrive in a room 214 on the second floor. It seems I got here a little early. There are a few people around my age sitting and talking around. I go and sit on a chair in the middle row.

The person at the front of the room by a projector screen is looking at me. He, she, or they is staring at me. I managed a miniature wave and an awkward smile. "Hi," I say.

The person walks up to me. They have green hair and appear to be in their late 20s. "Hello, I haven't seen you here before."

"First time," I respond.

"Well, I would like to welcome you to our little club. We meet here once a week every week at the same time. Over to your right we have refreshments if that is to your liking. And I would like to tell you that we do have a once a year fee for being a part of the community. But don't worry, we won't charge you now. It will be $20 the next time you arrive."

"Oh," I say getting out my wallet. 'I read that on the website. Here you go." I handed them an Alexander Hamilton.

"Thank you. We'll be starting in just a bit. We like to wait until there are more people."

"Got it." They walk back to the front.

While more people arrive, I look out the stained-glass windows. The sun is setting in the distance with an orange and purple sky. It was then I notice a boy behind me doing the same thing.

He's wearing a pink hello kitty shirt, flowery yoga pants, complimentary striped arm warmers, and a flower pin in his hair. It took a moment for me to process that I have found a femboy. A real femboy! My heart starts to rush and I incidentally felt a small erection coming on. Not now! You're supposed to be better than this.

The boy looks so sad staring out into the distance. He could not be older than 25 with his little baby-face. Or maybe he just looks younger than he is. I'm not sure what to do here. Do I go and talk to him just like that? He might think I'm creepy.

The Club Leader is speaking. I don't know what they are saying. I could choose to listen, but I honestly don't really care. I had a queer friend in college who took me to one of these types of meeting once. She said that they just say the same stuff every time. Plus, I'm not gay! It's not relevant to me anyways. But weirdly enough, the boy seems to not be listening either. I take this chance to walk outside the room.

I close the door and make sure to get out of view. I cannot simply move down the aisle and sit next to him. I have to make it look like I went to the bathroom and then coincidently sit next to him. I wait about three minutes before reentering.

He's still not paying attention. That will be a good talking point. I go and sit one seat apart from him in the same row. This is it. I'm about to talk to a real life femboy. I have to remember to keep my expectations in check. The internet femboys, like all of the internet, partly disingenuous. Especially the v-tuber femboys I watch. Those are literally fake. I have to remember not to expect them to be like them. He's just a person like any other person. Here we go.

"Boring, isn't it?"

The femboy slowly turns his head revealing his full face. His cheeks were a Snow White rosy red and his face was clean-shaven. His lips were thicker than most white people's. If I had to guess he's mixed with Hispanic genes. "Oh, um. Yeah," he said with the softest voice I've ever heard from an adult male. It's not quite a girl's voice, but not a feminine man's either. Honestly, he kind of sounds like an anime boy.

"They really just say the same things at all the meetings," I tell him.

"Oh, do they? This is, um... my first time."

Looks like he's new here too. Use that. "Is that so? What inspired you to come?"

He blushes deeper than his red cheek and covers his face. "Uh... I'd rather not say," he says while shyly giggling.

"Oh come on, you can trust me."

"It's really embarrassing."

"You don't gotta' tell then. Sorry for prying."

"Oh, well. Thank you."

"No problem. So, what's your name?"

"It's, well. That's embarrassing too."

"You're killing me, smalls."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. I gotta at least get a name out of you."

"My mom named me a girl's name. That's why I don't want to say."

That is too cute. The little femboys is embarrassed to say his girlie name. "I'll tell you mine if you me yours."

"Okie :3."

"I'm Harold. But don't laugh! I know it's an odd name. Most people call me Harry."

"Nice to meet you, Harry." I reach out my hand. "Oh." We shake hands and his skin is so soft. His tiny little boy hands are just too adorable. His grasp is weak and pathetic, but I won't tell him that. Don't want to hurt his feelings.

"And you?"

"That's right. I'm Jaime."

Ah! That name is so cute for a boy like him. It's not really a girl's name so much as it is gender neutral, but still "What a cute femme name."

He folds into himself and mumbles lightly. "That's what I didn't want to tell nobody."

"Oh, don't be shy. Can I touch you?" He nods joyfully and I rest my hand on his shoulder. "It's a very nice name, Jaime."

He speaks in a pouty tone. "Thank you."

"Of course, cutie."

I think he noticed my noun choice. "Did you say, cutie?"

"Is that too much?" I ask.

"No, no. I like it." He holds his body while he speaks and avoids eye contact. I take this as my chance to slide over to the seat next to him.

"You look really cold and tired. I see that you're holding yourself."

"I am."

"Would you like to rest your head on my lap. My body is very warm."

"Okie."

I can't believe this is working! Femboys are so much easier than women. This boy has no safeguards. I guess I can stop calling him "the boy." Jaime. What a pretty name.

Jaime lays his head on my lap. I hope no one takes offence to this in the room. Holy crap. It's hitting me. A femboy is laying on my lap. Repeat. A femboy is laying on my lap! What do I do? Do I say something more?

"Your hair is very pretty." His hair is brown, mid-length, and very curly. "Looks so easy to play with."

"It is."

"Mind if I scratch your head." His body jumps for a second."

"You can."

I lay my hand onto his scalp. His hair is so warm and fluffy! I start playing with the curls and getting my fingers trapped. I then use my nails to gently scratch his head. He is already such a good boy. Letting me play with pretty little head. What a sweet little kitty.

"Um."

"Yes?"

"Can you scratch harder?"

I heed his request and dig my nails in. As I sooth him, he starts to make strange little noises. "Are you okay?" I ask.

"I am."

"Does this make you uncomfortable?"

"It doesn't. Does it for you?

"No!"

"Okie."

Phew! He seems fine. The meeting goes on for about 30 more minutes. By the end, everyone started talking to each other around the room. The Club Leader greets some of the members who came in late. There must be a lot of noobies here tonight.

"Hey, Jaime." No response. I lightly shake him. "Jaime!"

I hear a long yawn escape his mouth. "Did I fall asleep?" He fell asleep? On my lap? He's like a little pet. So trusting and docile.

"You poor thing. The meeting is over."

"It is?" He rubs his eye lids.

"Yes, Jaime."

"Oh." He puts his finger to his lip.

"I guess I have to get going."

"Do you live far from here?"

"Well, um... That's a complicated question."

"Do you have a car to get home?"

"I can't drive. I don't have a license." What's a boy doing in a motor city not being able to drive?

"Then how do you get around?"

"Buses."

"Buses? Jaime, buses are no place for a boy like you. You could get hurt."

"I never have before."

"You will given enough time. I'm going to drive you home. If you don't mind, of course."

He's giving an odd smile. "If you really want to."

"Okay, let's go." I grab his hand and take him down to the first floor. Then out the doors and into the parking lot and finally into my car. I put him in the passenger's seat. He didn't buckle himself, so I do it for him. He must be very sleepy.

"Where to?"

"Um, can I see your phone? I'll just put the address in." Looks like I'm getting his address! Score!

The GPS says his home is downtown. That is a bad place for a femboy to live, but I'm not going to start judging him. I find a parking spot on the curb across the street from where the GPS lands us.

"Thanks for driving me."

"You're wel-." My eyes dash to the sign on the building. This is a homeless shelter! "Jaime, you're homeless?"

"Yeah."

"How come?"

"Four years ago, when I turned 18, my dad kicked me out for being gay. I had no experience anywhere or somewhere to go and all the jobs rejected my applications. This shelter's letting me stay here for this week, so this is where I am."

"Oh, Jaime."

"What is it?"

"I had no idea."

"Well, we just met."

"Is there anything I can do?

"Not more than you have. Saved me a bus ride here."

"Where will you go when you can't stay here after the week?"

"Sometimes other shelters will take me. If not, I have a spot I go to."

"A spot?"

"Under the freeway way that Fiesta Grocery Store is." Oh my God. He really is homeless. I had no idea! He seemed so clean and put together. What do I do? I can't just let him be homeless. But then again, I barely know him.

"I'm sorry to hear."

"Welp, yeah. It be how it be. Thanks again for the drive." He unlocks his door and steps out. I watch him as he goes up the stairs of the shelter's entrance. This just isn't fair! How can a poor boy like him have no one to take care of him. His sick dad kicking him out. It ain't right.

I roll down the door window. "Wait, Jaime!"

He looks back at me. "Yeah?"

"Come back here."

"What? Why?"

"If you don't mind, I have a better place for you to stay tonight." He looks shocked but runs back to the car and opens the door. I put on his seat belt again.

"Do you really?"

"Yes. Again, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, but you can stay at my place at least for the week. You can sleep in my bed, and I'll take the couch."

"I'm not going to say no to that."

We drove to my house on the other side of town. Going inside, he explored the interior like a child. He ran though the hallways into the kitchen, living room, bathrooms, and bedroom. He was enthused.

"You have a nice place here, Harold."

"Well, thank you. It's pretty late, so you should get some rest. If you get hungry there's pre-made food in the fridge and cabinet. There's blankets and pillows in the room." He gives me a doughy-eyed look. "Something wrong?"

"Well, it's quite cold tonight."

"There are plenty of blankets. Including one you can plug in and it warms up."

"It's just... I don't sleep well when I'm alone." Is this boy rizzing me?

"Jaime."

"Yeah."

"I think it's no secret that I find you attractive." He stays silent. "You're quite adorable."

"Meow," he mewed.

"Come again?"

"Oh, it's just something I do when words don't come. Words are hard." God damn that is precious.

"I see. Jaime, I find you very cute. But we just met. I know you only wish to fall asleep with me, but I'm afraid if I go in that bed with you I'm going to want to do something more. Frankly, it would be a bit awkward. I wouldn't do anything to you without your consent, but I don't wish to... do that kind of thing right now. Right now I just want to make sure you're safe and warm. Do you understand me?"

He face became the embodiment of the bottom emoji. He runs over and hugs me all of a sudden! Do I hug him back? My hands are all up in the air. His hug is so warm and fuzzy. His hand only comes up to my chest I notice and then wrap my arms softly around him. "Thank you," he pleads and lets go.

"You're welcome." He scatters off to my bedroom and closes the door. I hear the door lock.

My dudes, I have a femboy in my bedroom. This is insane! And I know what you're thinking. Why don't I take the chance to fuck him. Look, I really want to. I want to feel his soft love handles and plunge my cock deep into his bussy and hear him squeal. He clearly wants it. But I am a man of honor! As we all should be. I want him to feel like he can trust me. Even if he wants me to fuck him right away doing so could squander a future relationship. I know this because my first would-be girlfriend had sex with me and afterword the relationship didn't form. I didn't get to know her as a person first so when I fucked her it meant nothing. It felt good, sure. But the emotional connection was severed that day. And I don't want that to happen again. If I am going to fuck Jaime's brains out I want to know his brain first.

I go to bed cold because all the blankets are in my room. I presume that Jaime is asleep by now, and I am not going to disturb him. I let the cold abyss carry me to sleep.

I wake up at 8 AM. The first thing I do every morning is make eggs and pop some bread in the toaster. While the eggs cook I cut up an apple. Today, I make double the food. I wonder if he is still asleep. When all the food is done I go to knock on the bedroom door. "Hey, Jaime. You awake in there?" Slowly, I hear his light footsteps prattle on the wooden floor. The click of the door unlocking is followed by it opening. Jaime is wearing the same clothes. They're ruffled and his hair is a mess. "Goo morn," he says stretching out.

"Well hello, sleepy boy. How was your night?"

"'Twas alright."

"That's good. I made you food."

"Foof?"

"They're fried eggs, some plain toast, and apples slices."

"Do you have strawberry jelly for the toast pohaps?"

"That I do." I retrieve the jam from the fridge and hand both the bottle and a butter knife to Jaime.

"Thankies."

"Of course, cutie."

I head over to the dining table next to the kitchen. Jaime finishes jamming his toast and brings his plate to the table. Before any of us spoke, he starts gorging on the eggs. "I bet you're real hungry."

"Yes," he says and continues eating. He devours the toast, scoops up the eggs like they were liquid, and noms the apple slices. Seeing him eat so fast makes me sad. He likely has not had a full meal in a long time.

"Da food was good."

"I'm glad you enjoyed." He gets up and starts to take his plate to the dishwasher. "No, I can get that for you. You're my guest."

"It's okay," he says and puts the plate and silverware into the washer. He then leaps onto my couch next to the dining table.

"It's still cold," he comments and dashes to the bedroom and brings back the comforter. He snuggles into it and lays on the couch. "Dis is so warm," he giggled.

"If you don't mind, I'll join you in a minute."

I finish eating my food and put the dishes away. Afterword, I sit next to Jaime on the couch. He is looking at me really funnily. What does he want? His puppy-dog eyes and messy hair are calling to be pet. He isn't saying anything either! Just staring like a lost lamb. I gather a blanket from the floor and offer to put it on us. He nods in agreement and I tuck the corners on his sides. He looks so snuggly under there.

"So, do you have to go to work today?" He asks me.

"I'm actually off right now. Normally I just sit around and play video games. At night, I always call my mother when off. She knows I work a whole lot, so on my days off we'd agree I call every time."

"That's really sweet."

"Oh, well. It's just the right thing to do, y'know? We have a good relationship. What about you? You mentioned your dad but not your mom. Can I assume she's... not around?"

"Yees. She not around. She died a long time ago. I wish I had a mommy like you to call."

His face is pouty. "Oh, poor baby boy. Can I give you a hug?"

"Okie." I lean in and give him a big hug. He feels even more cuddly with the covers on him.

"You're really sweet too, Jamie."

"No, I'm not," he speaks softly. "I can be really mean sometimes."

"I hardly believe that."

"It's twue. I've made a lot of enemies over the years."

"Your cute voice is incongruous with that statement. I'm sure there are people out there that you don't like, but I cannot imagine that one day you just decided to be mean to them. Did they hurt you?"

His doughy eyes reflected an alabaster grief. "I mean, sure. They hurt me. And I hurt them. Conflict in life is people hurting people. Sure, someone may have started it. But I always hit back harder."

"With those little nubs for hands I doubt you could hit that hard."

"'Tis metaphorical."

"I see. People were mean to you and you were mean to them back. That doesn't make you not sweet. You can be reactionarily combative and still be a sweet little ball of dough." I squinched at his little red cheeks.

He looks at me with his innocent needy little eyes and then lets his body fall down onto my lap again. I take this as my opportunity to start petting him. "That's right. It will all be better soon." I feel his warm little body under my hand. I have to admit I'm hard again, but I need to wait for the right moment. I've been told being a bottom can hurt, so when I destroy his little hole I have to make sure he's attached to me first. But thinking about this sweet innocent little boy crying and squealing as I pound him has got my imagination on fire. Ooh, the future we could have together! I don't know if he's willing to stay here long term, but if he is I could have a little fuck toy to come home to every day. I wonder what he would look like bear-foot and in an apron. He's already so cute.