Torgan Wine Ch. 57

"He's a good man. I was uncertain but when he tried to warn me his beautiful daughter might break my heart, I thought better of him." Lothaerith wrinkled his nose at her and she tried not to laugh.

"My brother chided me, saying I'm too fickle for you and I should think about what I'm doing for once so that I don't break your heart." She gave him a rueful smile, "I don't think I would want another lover, but we need to behave better. I want to be sure and I don't want to hurt you." Isonei took a sip of the wine that had been sent up. "I also need to be better behaved because I'm still bound by my word. Draeseth released me from the Arrangement but even parting ways with him doesn't release me from my promise to be exclusive until the next Festival. That promise wasn't made to him and I've already done far more than I should. I need to speak to the priests about-"

"Isonei," Lothlaerith tilted her face up to look at him, "I will wait and be as patient as a stone if you promise me that I will be given the chance to show you how well suited we are."

"I know what I need now. I-" she stopped as her brother came back out of their father's room.

"I think father was asleep as soon as he lay down." Ivorith took his seat again and looked at them both with a nervous smile. "Am I interrupting?"

"The conversation can wait." Daga Lothlaerith turned to his plate and tapped next to Isonei's. "We should eat so that I can take you to the baths."

"Oberath..." Ivorith hesitated and then tilted his head, deciding to finish his thought, "earlier he was very angry. He said that Isonei had been denied entry."

"Yes. The matter has been addressed." Lothlaerith glanced at her as she put one of the fish morsels into her mouth. "I will need to explain how."

"I wanted to ask earlier but I..." Isonei made a regretful face, "I was a little afraid to."

"Was I so harsh?" Lothlaerith frowned.

"You were gleeful at the prospect of hanging Draeseth from your gate. That makes me a little fearful of how you give judgment."

He looked at his plate sourly for a moment and then nodded. "Your Daga said you were very gentle and harsh judgments and punishments would push you away. Perhaps we have grown too harsh and a softer hand is needed." Returning his gaze to her, the cool smile he gave was somehow familiar. "I have tasked the guard, who denied you and made you feel unwelcome, with your protection. Anyone who accosts you will be directed to Commander Valothe."

She blinked as she realized why she knew that smile, "That's the same smile you wore when you sent us to wait for your father in the gatehouse!"

His eyes brightened and flickered between shades, "I remember you telling the Torgans that the Dagas Lothlaerith were capable men and viciously clever. My Guardsman will protect you and perhaps he may come to see why I feel so strongly that you deserve protecting."

Looking down at her own plate for a moment she tilted her head. "If Kamrus Gillaugrim could change his mind and come to think better of me... He also hated me." Isonei lifted her gaze tiredly, "It took longer than a day and I need to go home, Daga Lothlaerith."

"It is not meant as a task for you, daughter of Liadith, and he is charged with your protection until I release him. He will follow you into Ara if I require it."

"That may change his opinion of Arans." She rubbed her eyes and sighed as a dull throb began at her temples.

"You should try to eat a little more, Isonei." Ivorith was looking at her with concern when she opened her eyes. "And I think you should join father instead of bathing tonight."

"I'm not hungry anymore, and as much as I want to wash, I think you're right. My head is starting to ache."

"You don't look well." Lothlaerith touched her face. "My bath will be open to you whenever you desire it. It can wait until morning."

"Thank you." Isonei tried to give him a smile and his eyes dulled.

"I can see your pain, daughter of Liadith. I will speak with your Daga and you do not need to linger if it hurts you. My selfish want is to keep you for as long as I can, but your needs are what must be considered. Go rest. I will finish the meal with your brother." He rose and pulled back her chair, drawing her away from the table.

The words made her feel warm and she turned to embrace him immediately after standing. His mantle smelled of herbs and had a very faint metallic scent she hadn't noticed before. After a moment, Ivorith gently tried to pull her away and Lothlaerith held her more tightly, swatting her brother's hands away.

"She was pulled from me once, I will not allow it a second time."

"Since her return, she clings in the evenings. I only intended to take her to our father..."

"She needs comforting, she should be in my house where it's safest."

With difficulty, Isonei pulled herself away. "I won't leave my father."

"I should have brought him under my roof. Your Daga tried to encourage me, but stubbornness is a fault of mine."

"Why was the thought so-" She sighed rubbing her head already feeling she knew the answer.

"It has been a very long time since anyone not of Leria was asked to stay with us." He pulled her closer again. "And I was uncertain of his character."

"It hasn't been so long..." Isonei lifted her head, "Your people don't forget that I'm Aran, but you do, Daga Lothlaerith."

Carefully, she maneuvered out of his arms and moved toward the bedroom.

"Your sister is maddening."

"She's always been unreasonable when she's tired, Daga Lothlaerith. I'll have father encourage her to apologize tomorrow."

°°°°°°°°°°

Isonei woke with a start as someone climbed into bed behind her.

"Go back to sleep, cousin. Your brother thought you would be clinging to your father, not sleeping in the servant's bed. You need someone with you."

Whispering as softly as Oberath, Isonei turned to cuddle close, "I didn't want to wake father by getting into bed, he looked so tired."

"I'm glad I looked in on you."

"I'm glad the guard let you in."

"I had to come in through the window again. Daga Lothlaerith is trying to keep you separate from us for some reason."

"He wants me to be safe and he doesn't trust Arans. He can't see the difference between us and Torgans or Phaethians. Defying him won't help him see it."

"I'll leave early, before anyone comes to wake you."

Sighing, she let herself fall back to sleep. Some time later she woke again and knew it was time to rise for the day. Bathing before breakfast would be ideal.

Rubbing Oberath's chest until he woke, she shooed him out of bed and got dressed. He looked too bleary-eyed to climb back out of the window so she checked the hall for a guard before walking him to his room past the sleeping man keeping watch.

At his door, as he hesitated to go in, the guard lurched out of his slumber and stared at them in confusion.

"I want to go bathe and my father shouldn't be alone. May my cousin keep him company?"

"Of-of course, Lady..." The man rubbed his eyes and Isonei gave Oberath an innocent look.

"Would you mind?"

"For my clever cousin, anything." He kissed her forehead and smiled impishly as he walked past the guard.

"I'd have let you sleep in the main room if you'd asked. The hallway can't have been comfortable." Isonei murmured as the soldier followed her downstairs.

"I wasn't supposed to sleep."

"You can't be expected to stay awake for however long he asks you to watch over me. He mentioned sending you to Ara with me."

He began to use words she didn't know, and she looked at him in confusion. "I didn't understand that. It sounded Lerian..."

"No one curses in front of you." He looked a little sick as he ran his hand over his face. "Forgive my foul mouth."

"Only if you teach me those words." She gave him an impish smile. "In Torga, I came to hate not being able to understand people."

"You seemed to barely speak Lerian on your last visit."

"I couldn't speak it well but I understood it perfectly. I was never taught, I learned it by listening when I stayed with my Daga or Daga Gildith." Isonei stopped in the empty street. "We met before?"

"I was one of the men who took you to the Torgan inn." His face looked bitter and he didn't meet her eyes.

"May I know your name and ask what happened after I foolishly went inside with Draeseth?"

"Greethe, and we don't speak of it." He glanced at her with a scowl, "We heard what he said to you in Torgan and the sounds you made."

Isonei inclined her head, "If he treated you as poorly as he did me, Master Greethe, I am truly sorry and I know that forgiveness cannot be hoped for or expected. I only saw the good in him, perhaps, because that was what I wanted to see. I came to see him in a different light in Torga. There is some good there, but he can be a beast."

"Guardsman Greethe. I was a Sergeant before yesterday." He winced, "I should never have put my hand on my weapon when speaking to you, no matter how angry I was."

"Draeseth hurt you?"

"Body and pride. It's still not an excuse."

"It was my fault for not listening to Captain Valothe as I was told to. I trusted Draeseth when I should have trusted him instead. I understand your anger. If I had it to do over again I would do things differently."

"Commander Valothe said he suspected you didn't speak Torgan." Greethe eyed her dubiously.

"I didn't and I still don't. Draeseth wouldn't allow me to be taught it." Isonei gave him a rueful smile, "I would protest that, in our Aran conversation, I did try to argue with him about his insistence that he was going to take me to Torga without the Daga's permission. But I didn't argue as strongly as I could have. If nothing else, he knew exactly how to touch me to give me my release, and he made it almost impossible to argue."

Greethe flushed, "You're not ashamed?"

"Of what? Enjoying sex or enjoying it with Draeseth?" She tilted her head with a frown, "I was always told that pleasure is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. I regret some things that happened and if I hadn't been with him, perhaps, some of the worst things that happened could have been avoided, but most certainly the good things that happened would never have come about."

"What good came of-" He stepped away making a dismissive gesture and curling his lip in disgust as he turned away from her.

Quietly she spoke to his back, "Master Pelerithe's grandson wouldn't have been returned to him. The slaves of Torga wouldn't have been freed. That wretched Empire would still have a firm grip on Torga, instead of being on the brink of war." Isonei paused as he turned to look at her, "I would never have lost a brother, or my unborn child. I would never have had to leave a child I adopted and love dearly behind. But I would not have been returned to my Daga, and he would have had no Keran.

"There are those in Torga who hate me and want to see me dead for consorting with demons, as they view the Dagas, but there are those who think highly of me because I did the best I could for others while I was there, despite the fact I didn't know them and I owed them nothing. When I look for it, there is a kind of balance, however painful."

The distrustful look and the hardness of his green eyes made her heart ache and she felt tired and defeated. Isonei took a breath and ran her hand over her face looking toward the baths. "I want to wash. I won't be long. I need to return to my father."

"You don't trust your cousin with him?" Greethe began moving toward the large building again.

"I trust my cousin, Oberath. If my father wakes before I return he'll take good care of him, but I need to be near my father. This probably won't be a surprise to you, but I'm not a very good daughter. I don't listen as well as I should, I'm impulsive, and he's had to spend more time than he should scolding me for foolishness." She glanced at him and saw a hint of a smile on his face.

"Even after all of that, he made himself sick worrying about me. Father wants me close, and I need to be close."

Greethe tilted his head slightly in her direction, "That I can understand." They arrived at the door to the Daga's bath and he opened it for her. "We do have some respect for him. He was so furious with the Torgan messengers and the Torgan Prince that dared to return, he had to be removed from the discussions."

"Burgath didn't tell me that. But that seems to be something Torgans do, conceal things and make promises they don't feel compelled to keep."

Glancing around for a moment he stepped just inside the door and let it close, "And you almost married one? What would possess you to do that?"

"I refused to marry him, I never-"

"You gave him one of those... Arrangements, it might as well have been a marriage."

Isonei straightened, looking at him incredulously, "It wasn't what he wanted, and I was pressed-"

He made an angrily dismissive noise, "If you're that weak you have no business with our Daga."

"Tell me, Guardsman Greethe, what would you have done? If you had been standing in front of someone holding a bare blade threatening to mutilate a man who had done nothing wrong, who reminded you of home and begged that you not be harmed-"

His lip curled as he interrupted her, "I wouldn't-"

"You will let me speak!" Isonei had to take a moment to unclench her fists, "This man did nothing wrong, I could not allow him to be harmed. I traded my life for his. My freedom for his. I did it because I could bear it more easily than he could. You might have made another choice, but I couldn't.

"Perhaps I am weak, for every wretched thing Draeseth did he would do something loving or something kind and I was confused and..." she stepped away pressing her trembling hands to her face and trying to steady her breathing.

Greethe was silent for a moment and then he cleared his throat, "If you bend a piece of metal one way, and then the other often enough, it'll break."

She heard the door open and then close again and when she lifted her head he was gone. The thought that Draeseth might have acted deliberately made her feel a little ill, but it wasn't entirely shocking. It seemed like something his father would have taught him, how to break someone to get your way. A surge of pity for Draeseth's mother brought tears to her eyes.

Entering the beautiful chamber that had once been used for ceremonies, she wiped her eyes and took a steadying breath. The sight of the faded and scored mural was comforting but she still jumped to hear the sound of someone moving behind her.

"You are not broken." Daga Lothlaerith's eyes burned as he came forward to caress her face. "You require a match strong enough to put your needs first. A match who will protect you and give you all of himself because you are a woman who protects others and gives of herself freely."

"Daga-" She stopped as he pressed his fingers to her lips.

"Speak my name."

"Zenaethe, I need a match without jealousy and fits of temper, I need a match who will let me go home when I need to, whether that home is in Ara or with Liadith. And I need a match who understands that I AM Aran and doesn't try to change me or look at me as if I'm lesser because of it. I will hold to my traditions and my Gods." Isonei studied his face.

"You doubt that I am that man?" His eyes dulled and he took a half step back.

"I don't know. I feel like I did in Torga, one moment I feel like I have certainty and clarity and the next I'm..." She shook her head helplessly.

"Liadith felt that I should release you from your word. He said it would not mean you would never return or never be offered..."

"But I wouldn't be bound." Isonei reached out and took his hand. "I like you. I know that I don't want anyone else right now, but I also know I can't give you what you need now either. At the moment this isn't..."

Lothlaerith's jaw clenched as she stopped and sighed, but he inclined his head, "I release you, and I will look for a match. Perhaps in time, it will be you."

"Thank you. May I ask you to promise me one thing, Daga Lothlaerith?" She tried to give him a small smile as his face settled into the look of icy displeasure she remembered from their first meeting.

"You may ask, but I may not grant it."

"I would ask you to be certain before you make a choice. Take your time and do not rush."

He inclined his head slightly. "I require you to keep one promise you made to me. Do not speak my name without my permission."

"Of course, Daga Lothlaerith. You have my word, I will not speak your name without your permission."

The Daga pulled his hand away gently and moved toward the door. Isonei's heart began to ache as if she'd made the wrong choice, but time and home were what she needed. That she was certain of. Turning the other way, she moved toward the bath.

°°°°°°°°°°

Isonei washed thoroughly and eyed the pool with longing before she began to dry herself. The clothes she'd worn into the baths were still in their place as she went to dress and she blinked and covered her face with a sigh as she realized she'd forgotten to bring the bag of fresh clothes.

The attendant who had helped her undress tentatively came forward holding a dress and some underthings. "Forgive me, Lady. We do have a collection of clothes for those who..." He looked slightly embarrassed.

"Those who require them through forgetfulness or a lack of means?" She gave him a grateful smile.

"Yes. These are clean. We would ask that they be returned."

"Of course. I thank you for your thoughtfulness."

"Do you wish to take these with you or have them collected when the dress and underthings are returned?" He inclined his head looking more relaxed.

"I will have them collected, if that's acceptable to you."

"It is."

She hesitated, "Could I impose on you even more?"

He frowned slightly, but inclined his head.

"I don't know how to braid my hair..."

His lips twisted with amusement for a moment. "I can manage something that will get you back to your lodging, Lady."

"Thank you. That's very kind."

Dressed in plain, borrowed clothes, and with her hair in a single braid tucked under itself, Isonei hurried back to the inn with Greethe in tow. Purla was in her father's room laying breakfast and tried not to laugh as Isonei explained what had happened. The woman helped her change and braided her hair more properly taking the clothes and promising to have them returned and her own clothes fetched.

Isonei's father was still asleep, and Oberath seemed to be sleeping as well on the servant's bed. She was somewhat surprised they could sleep through all of the whispering and rustling of fabric as her clothes had been fetched. Nonetheless, she didn't wake them to eat with her and nibbled on a small Aran breakfast alone.