All Comments on 'Torn: Flip Flops'

looking forward to the sequel

Baring a few Fiona / Thelma mix ups another quality story.

I read this on my way to school, but just now got a chance to write something, I though this was good, can't wait to see if u write a pt 2

I would really encourage you to spend more time actually listenung to african americans speak. As a southern african american, I cringed the entirety of the story. Everytime Fiona would speak, it sounded like an unnatural cross between 1970's ebonics and how slaves spoke. It was nothing how African American Vernacular English is spoken nowadays and you really need to be careful about painting the way Fiona spoke as "unintelligent". If Fiona was real, she would speak an actual dialect that has rules and is recognized by linguists. Otherwise, cute story.

I enjoy interracial, older/younger women stories, and this was a good one. However, it was marred by the language. It's practically unreadable. Is it a fetish of some kind to have a character speak that way? Do white women believe that's how black girls/women speak? As a Black woman born in the North, living in the South, this level of ignorance is a turn-off and detracts from the story. Would love more of these two, but upgrade the grammar.