by nowiser
Where is part one that you suggested we read? It's not on your profile!
no begining way to unrealistic and poorly written. what guy would ever put up with a stepsister like her and the way his father treats him NO BODY WOULD. he would find a friend whose parents would allow him to stay with them. i didn't bother to read past where they got on the bus and he remembered the fight in the kitchen. talk about mental his father needs a padded cell what an asshole. if the stepsister has problems as hinted at WHY THE FUCK DON'T THEY TELL HIM SO HE CAN UNDERSTAND? AND WHY THE FUCK DON'T YOU TELL US AT THE BEGINING SO WE DON'T GET PISSED AT YOUR SHITTY STORY? ALSO GET RID OF THE DAMN /BREAK/ SHIT IT IS VERY ANOYING AND NOT NEEDED
Good story line development up to this point.It has potential to go lots of directions that have only been hinted at.
I'll definitely read the next part. And to the anonymous ranter who said this was unrealistic... Well it's a story for one, so you have to suspend some disbelief. Also, you are underestimating how much people put up with for family. I don't find that part a stretch at all.
I like this story quite a bit, definitely has a refreshing twist to it. I am looking forward to the next chapter, which I hope will be on the site in the next few days.
Look forward to more...really enjoyed how you developed the story. Very different....quite nice.
i think you have been drinking to much waste water at work. you tell us to read the first chapter BUT THERE ISN'T ONE. you totally make the dad a sudden asshole and hint at a problem with the stepsister BUT FAIL TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING. any parent with a child that has problems and got remarried would let the step child know that there is a problem so they can either help or atleast not make things worse. no parent would ever fail to inform them of something major. this needs a major rewrite and you need to start at the begining and work forward.
This was a great story, I hope you keep it going because I am looking forward to the next chapter. Thank you for you time and effort.
I was impressed with the potential you are building for the next episodes and will certainly be watching for them. Good start.
Great story, keep it coming, great buildup, looking forward to chapter 2.
Please note that the first three chapters are numbered 0, 1, and 2. They're superb!
just finished reading this chapter , looking forward to next one
Some anonymous commenters use their anonymity to rant on about their terribly inaccurate depictions of a superb story...I loved this sequel...I have to put with a lot from my family and that seems very reasonable to me (to the fucking imbecile who said he/she would stay with friends- it's family you idiot! You don't leave whenever you get pissed unless you are a fickle asshole such as yourself) anyways I loved it...keep up the good work :)
-$teventhegre@t
the only way this can get a rave review is if the writer PAYS FOR IT. there are more STUPID plot holes than swiss cheese. this demands a total rewrite by a GOOD WRITER that knows how to write and use a good editor.
Ok im ok with the idea of the story but the whole father son relationship just didnt work and ok if they need the sons help why not tell him whats going on?
For very different reasons, I was in a similar situation with my sister. But it was a trap, a setup to embarrass the hell out of me. When Rachel said, "You poor boy, you...I am going to mess you up soooo bad." I flashed back to that moment in my life. I have never forgotten and I will never forgive.
I hope this story isn't going to such a dark pace. I read stories here on Literotica to escape such memories.
Well, this is 11 years old and a lot of life has passed. I don't care what anyone says; this is excellent writing and far beyond the expectations anyone should have for this website. The point isn't that everything met some ones expectations. The point is that you hooked me from the beginning and I could not stop reading. I have lived through some very strange situations and I could absolutely relate to both of the main characters. I sincerely hope you have continued to write. Best wishes, J