by fin
Spectacular. Seems like a poor word choice to describe emotional uncertainty so well and so agonizingly described. And then the next morning - I melted.
Beautiful, sensuous, passionate, and sweet. A very good story. Keep writing.
10 years after I discovered this, this is still an amazingly written story.
I hope that wherever you are, you're still writing.
Thanks for your writing. I really like your style, your detailed descriptions and how you build up, postpone, then build again. Very exciting to read!
That was a great erotic story all are good but that was great
You need to write more
It is one of the most erotic and romantic stories I have ever read here. I just loved it, and I'll certainly bookmarked it and revisit it from time to time. I had appreciated your other stories so far (like reading in the order they were published), but this is even beyond them (and I already ranked them as 5s... what should I do for this one ?).
You sir, are a masterful writer. This story was magnificent.
Especially the subtleness. I LOVE to be touched as you describe. Not too many guys seem to have the patience. Keep up the great wrtiting!
it's great i read your story. it's the perfect example I'm looking for in literotica writing. hope i can do something as good as this =)
Beautifully done! Just the the right blend and timing in setting the ambiance, character thoughts and interactions. The realistic actions and reactions of the main characters were believable which allows the reader to be moved and involved. One of the best I've read, Bravo! Now.. you need to do the sequel.
Fantastic. The slow build draws you in, without boredom, building the hot suspense irresistibly. Eileen is perfect as the Innocent, yet with a touch of sauciness. Beautifully written.
This is without any doubt one of the best stories on this entire site. Your stories in general are definately a cut or two above all others and this is one of your better.
Please more stories. Why not more chapters of this or some of the others.
I love all of your stories. the way you build up slowly and a little hesitant at times. Then wham! a full on romantic situation - even with, or maybe especially with the After School story. Please keep on writing.
The way you built up to every one of their encounters was perfect, and Eileen's reaction every time helped build the tension until their last meeting. I think the way you wrapped up the story was great, leaving your characters together for the reader's imagination to take over. I loved your other stories and I am excited for more!
All through the third part I was wondering how you'd wrap it up. The way you handled it was just right. Great story. Eileen's reaction to each of the increasingly intimate encounters was a mystery until her next entrance; the cumulative suspense was starting to get to me. But the last line cleared it all up, and I exhaled with a gasp as I found out I'd been holding my breath for the last half page.
Really nice job. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Outstanding writing, and great sensuality -- it's clear you put a lot of work into the characters and plot. I'll be sure to read the rest of your stories now...
innocent, passionate, erotic, lusty, - and then I can start on the superlatives. Wonderful story.
This is well written account. It was vaguely reminiscent of my own timid fumblings many years ago. Eagerness tinged with anxiety. Desperation mixed with apprehension. Tenderness painted with an urgency. Well developed characters act out the scenario vividly you can "actually" see them.
A wonderful story working itself into a sequel although equally able to stand on its own. Well done.
Excellent story, ended too abruptly, left the reader wanting more. Loved the pace, the build up ... you are a talented writer.
Well written. A fun, sensuous, sexy love story of restrained passion. That combination makes it interestingly erotic.
It's intelligent touches like that which make your story sing. It had plenty of thermodynamic, real world 'slow burn' which works wonderfully. Her hesitancy and his reward for figuring out this young beauty. A sequel 'might' work, perhaps if they had been kept apart for a while for obscure, exotic reasons...
Wonderful story. Thank you. I agree: no sequel needed. This is complete.
I loved the long build up AND the way the sex was truly hot when called for. Excellent!
The pace and flow of your story were just right for me. I loved it!
I felt it is too real to be a story and that's where your skill lies.Briiliant piece of work which made the reader to develop such a strong empathy...Keep it going.but no sequel please.
Making Eileen have a boyfriend was almost teasing, in the parts of the story when she was reluctant to continue. I found myself begging her to keep going. I applaud this story, and don't think that a sequel is needed. Bravo.
Your apology for a slow start is a mistake as your style enables a credible story line to develop. Your technique in creating your characters enables one to clearly visualise the fabric of your plot. Please continue with this and ignore any ill conceived criticism.
really good. Nice to see some character development and human feelings instead of pounding grinding bodies. Thanks
A steady build-up to a powerful climax. Well-drawn and realistic characters. A thoroughly enthralling story.
The words became a painting in my mind.I found myself living your story. Do it again.
Thank you so much, fin for such a great story. So many lately have been simply lusty, quick, and pointless. I would take a slow buildup for a story like this anyday!
i'd love for it to have a sequel... where in the end she ends up breaking up with her boyfriend and moving in with him...
Dont apologize for slow build up. Those are the best kind of stories.
Great work fin!
I find it hard to read stories that appeal to me and this one of the rare stories that do. Great literary skills - a lot of writers on this site do not have that talent. Excellent work... you must write a sequel!
I wish I was Eileen !! Sigh :(
To have a man who will let explore at MY speed- a dream come true.
Write on please !!!
At the start I wonder if I want to read such a length of text but then, like a Hitchcock movie, I was drawn in and couldn't let go until the end...
Great writing.
The story is way HOT! I felt it wasn't slow starting, but rather built anticipation. It was the perfect lenght -not too short, and didn't drag and take forever to read. It was very well written and I look forward to future stories from Fin.
I loved the slow burn, the sweetness and humor between the characters, and the questions that leave us wondering: does Eileen REALLY have a boyfriend? What will happen when they leave Connie's place? etc. Well written, and a nice little "cliffhanger" at the end. I don't think a second installment is vital; we can imagine that they will have further adventures together. Bravo!
The pace and plot of this story was real... very similar to my cousin and I...in vingettes...bursts of life and very erotic...your timing is perfect and will work in any storyline...in whatever you write...congratulations!!
Perfect pace. Very good use of descriptive text, not too much, not too little and still leaving enough for the imagination.
I was wary of the slow start, but I realized soon enough just how important the slow build-up was. This was masterful, thank you so much for it. It was beautiful.
Where the fuck did THIS come from? I'm certain it's the most beautiful submission I've ever found on Literotica. Who are you? What is your deal? Tell me again how I didn't see you coming? Listen, fin, I sense that you may be the start of a Literotica Reneissance, of which we are desparately in need. What more can I say except, holy shit, keep up the good work.
One of the few stories on here that I could anticipate the story as it developed.
Very well written story. It has the concept and captivation of a chapter-able storyline, with the intensity and detail of the action quickies. Worthy of publish in my eyes.
I'm an unabashed fan of slow buildups and much prefer being led slowly along an intense erotic journey instead of the wham-bams that dominate these pages. Nicely done.
This story has a certain innocence about it which is very appealing. Whether they will have anything more than an "affair" is hard to tell....maybe Eileen was just bluffing about her boyfriend. In any case, you write well and the care you took with this story is reflected in the positive public comments!
Great writing. I could feel the sexual tension building. It was the closest thing to a real life experience that I've ever read. Thanks for taking the time to write it.
You apologized for the story beeing "slow" but I found the interplay between the characters to be wonderful teasing and a real build up to that moment of fullfillment and release
Incredibly erotic story. Fantastic build up as well as a very passionate intense climax. I look forward to more.
I usually expect only cheap thrills from most sex stories. But it was quite nice to see a proper well developed thought out story. It's definitely much sexier for me than stories where the action starts right away.
Thanks for the wonderful experience. I loved how it built up and how gentle the climax was. I also liked that you blurred everyone but the protagonists out.
Whew! Still assimilating your story.
Freaking AWESOME! I loved how you built the story up, the details of how the mutal attraction increased, your attention to detail and setting. I was actually living your story, imagining myself with Eileen, and, just like your main character, hungry and frustrated at the delay in touching Eileen.
Very, very good writing!
A really well written story. It was deep enough that I got involved in the characters and the sex was hot! I really enjoyed your story, keep up the good work.
a sweet, civilized, gentle story with believable people and dialogue. no brutality, no selfishness, just an event we all wish we had experienced. Keep writing
A 5 doesn't begin to express the quality of this work. It is incredibly beautiful. Bravo!!!
Lovely story, well written, very sexy and left we wanting the next chapter. It built up a feeling of being part of that weekend by the lake. My only problem is that it has spoilt me for the rest of the submissions so now I have nothing else to read.
This must be a first on Literotica. Someone who knows how to tell a story in easy flowing sentences which seem to come effortless. Someone who knows how to build up tension and how to release it.
Chapeau bas.
fabulous story.rare anymore when your rooting for all the charactors.usually stories are more adversarial,none here though. a feel good story from beginning to end!
congradulations
don
Oh! so very well done! The pace was so sensitively matched to their hesitation and his doubts as to the joint emotional interplay. I shall watch for further work by you. I hope it will include further development of this beginning.
This story is fantastic. If the second chapter is half as well done as this one, it will still beat out 90% of the other stories on this site.
I join the others in thanking you for your time and effort it took to write this story. Can't wait for part two (and more hopefully).
just great and the tension felt real it was just one of the best ive read and i look foward to what else you have written. "jakk"
Outstanding story. I enjoyed the slow approach, very erotic. Keep up the good work!
I know! That was unquestionably, undoubtably, the hottest story I've read. Ever. Period. You are a marvel. Beautiful writing, and not just the sex, the entire piece was wonderful. Bravo. I loved the build-up, there's more to erotica than just the f**king. Salud!
Thanks for posting an absolutely great story! The buildup and pace defintely worked in creating a bond with the characters and it enhanced the sex. One of the best stories I've read on Literotica that was both hot and had class.
The only mistake I can think of was the confusion over whether she wore a dress or a long t-shirt on the balcony.
I very much enjoyed your story. so many of these storys are seeminly written by guys who just want to get off quickly. i loved the slow burn. breasts are always better when slowly relesed.
Years ago there was a song about wanting a man with slow hands. Your story shows the value of going slowly. One of my favorite words is savor. Seems to me that he was savoring every moment, every look, every touch.
Well done. More please.
This is one of the best stories I think I have read in here. Not too long and not too short. Great buildup and finish.
Nice, slow build-up and a really sexy climax - just how good love-making should be. My taste is usually for more dirty language but this was a very sexy read.
I reckon that rubysen is the best at the slow build up as a writer but this is a fine effort in similar style. Interesting comparasion in a guy from S California & a gal from Bengal. She's better looking than you are though!
That was amazing. So well writen, such emotion captured. I loved it. :) Keep up the good work!