Transgendence

Authors' note - this story is a collaboration between StickyGirl and ElectricBlue66. It is an alternate follow on to Stickygirl's Under Your Skin, and combines her story world with EB's Floating World.

* * * *

"Hey, honey, where are you?"

Hannah's voice came up from the hall, startling Jane. She hadn't heard the key in the lock, as her thoughts were elsewhere.

"In the study, Han, just going through messages. Sorry, darling, I lost track of time."

"Who's writing you? Is it your new writer friend?"

Hannah came up behind Jane and wrapped her arms around her, giving her a big smooch on the cheek. Jane rested her head on the other woman's arm for a short moment, then clicked a key on the keyboard. The cursor spiralled as a document loaded.

"Yes. He's sent me something. I sent him a thousand words last night." Jane laughed. "I'm such a goose, Han. He made me laugh coz I'd sent him exactly a thousand words. He messaged back saying he should have thought, he didn't mean exactly that number of words. Those neurotypical brains, why they say what they don't mean, I don't know!"

Hannah ruffled her friend's blonde hair. "I know what you mean. Happens to me all the time." She bent down to kiss Jane's head. "But what's he written? Has he started writing that story you promised, the one about me and the debonair Adam?"

"I don't think so. Look." Jane pointed at the screen. "He's written... god, Han, he's writing about us!"

"What? Let me see." Hannah leaned forward and read a few words over Jane's shoulder. "Wait...."

Hannah looked around for the other chair, and pulled it up to sit beside Jane. The two women sat side by side, quietly reading. Half way down the first page, Hannah snuck her hand over Jane's. They shared a glance, and kept reading, Jane scrolling down through the pages.

* * * *

Hannah was disappointed to see Sebastian and his sister disappear, and to find herself on her own again in the crowd. The private viewing was certainly busy, and though she loved the idea of fabrics and fashion and understood what looked good on her, she was overawed by the fashion aficionados in attendance. She felt a little nervous, all alone.

"Do you know Sebastian?" She heard a soft voice. Hannah turned to see a man in his fifties, wearing an expensive but tasteful suit, standing beside her. His gaze was steady, and before she automatically looked beyond his ear, she briefly registered deep blue eyes.

"Not really. He was kind enough to invite me after I expressed an interest. I can see he's terribly busy, though," Hannah replied, noting he had a catalogue in his hand. "Oh, is that the guide? I should have picked one up, then I'd have more idea what I'm looking at. Are they at the door?" She knew she was beginning to chatter, and pinched her thumbnail into a finger, hard, to remind herself to slow down.

"I could lend you mine, but then I'd be stuck, too."

His voice had a slight accent, but Hannah couldn't exactly place it. Australian, but not like she'd heard on TV.

"Perhaps we could share," he continued, "because I'm a bit clueless with this show." He confided in her, speaking with his hand at the side of his mouth.

"Okay, yes. Why not? Where shall we start? I don't want to bore you by asking to see a display you've already seen, so you choose." Hannah stole a look at him from behind her hair. "They all look amazing. I'm sure there's a story behind each one." Hannah smiled, looking around the gallery for something that caught her eye.

"What about something with passion?" he suggested.

Hannah shot him a glance, looking a little unsettled. He must have overheard her conversation with Jude, Sebastian's sister.

"Forgive me," he said. "I couldn't help hearing you and Jude exchanging ideas just now. I heard you say 'passion' and... that's such a strong word."

"So you know them both?" she asked, diverting the conversation.

"I've known them since they were children. I'm sorry, I should introduce myself. I'm Adam Cain, the twins' godfather." He gave the hint of a bow, acknowledging Hannah. "They're an extraordinary pair, almost inseparable. It's a rare treat to see Jude in public -- she suffers terrible agoraphobia, but I know this show was important to both of them."

"I'm Hannah," was her guarded response to his introduction. She kept her hands behind her back.

Adam sensed her reluctance, but he'd taken the opportunity in their brief introduction to quickly confirm his first impression, and he was intrigued. She was tall, taller than most women in the room. He'd immediately noted the length of her legs, shown off to advantage in a short plaid skirt. She wore a soft brown jacket, which hid the shape of her breasts. He saw the veil of hair, hiding her features, and noted the little rainbow earrings.

Hannah reminded him of someone, the way she hid herself behind her hair. He was tempted to touch curls away from her face, the way he could with some women, but not this one.

"Hello, Hannah, lovely to meet you." He smiled at her, knowing her name. "Lets do our hosts' hard work justice by seeing more of their show."

As they wandered between the glass cases, Adam proved to be an interesting companion. Hannah discovered he had been falsely modest in his knowledge of fashion and obviously knew a great deal about fabrics and clothes. He seemed genuinely interested both in the history of the gorgeous dresses in the gallery as much as in Hannah's opinions and observations. She realised, after a while, that when he was speaking to her, he didn't do what many men did. He really listened.

After half an hour or so Adam noticed Hannah looking towards the entry lobby a few times. He decided not to press his luck any further, not this evening. Still, he was intrigued by her, and he loved intriguing women. She was long-limbed, full of life, and positively glowed with youthfulness. She was a pleasing contrast to his own, quieter nature; but if she was making moves to depart...

"Hannah, thank you for company, you've been a delight -- you've really made my evening!" said Adam, picking a natural break in their viewing.

"Oh, are you leaving already?" Hannah asked.

That wasn't the reply Adam expected. He'd thought she wanted to leave, that she'd grown weary of his company or had another engagement that evening.

Thinking quickly, he replied, "The twins are having an after-show do, and I'm expected. Why don't you come along? As my guest. There's going to be a few of us. I'm sure you'd get another chance to speak to Jude. It would be a shame to miss the opportunity, since she's such a private person."

He looked at her with a warm smile, remembering the way her eyes had followed Jude when she'd left. He was generous, and could give Hannah that little something, in return for her company a little longer.

"Oh really?" replied Hannah, her face brightening. "That would be lovely. Thank you." She was brave, briefly touching his arm. "Just give me a moment and I'll cancel my Uber. I was half expecting him to arrive at the door any moment."

"Do you really trust that service?" asked Adam, watching her rummage for her phone. "One hears such awful things."

"It's not too bad. Look," she said, holding up her phone to him. "Here's Leon, my ride. He's quite safe. He's a complete iron."

Adam spluttered with laughter, "A complete what?"

"Iron. Iron hoof? Poof. Gay as a cucumber and twice as funny. There we are, I've put him off. Pity, I bet he'd have loved a shufty round here." Hannah was having fun, doing her cockney impression, finishing with a giggle and broad grin at Adam.

He realised that she was very beautiful, now that she'd relaxed and given him a spontaneous smile.

* * * *

"How much of that did you write, Jane, and how much are his embellishments?" Hannah asked. She was fascinated to find herself described - it probably made her sound more sophisticated than she really was, but somewhat gauche at the same time.

"I should have known he'd write you into your clothes, " Jane replied. "I don't write what I see so much. My stories are mostly propelled by conversation, but he's added in visual stuff, and little clues to personality, things like that." She touched the words on the screen. "But he leaves the main writer me. It's very subtle, what he changes, so much so I forget exactly which words he wrote and which are mine."

"So I wouldn't really know what you wrote, and what he wrote, about me?" Hannah was curious. "So I belong in both your imaginations? Now that is intriguing."

"I'm not very good at introductions. How do you think that went?" Jane asked. "I think Adam would be respectful, even if his head was full of your tits and legs. Listening to your comments in the gallery would have told him that you're an intelligent girl."

"Passionate, Jane, passion. Remember!"

"The next bit, though, Han,"Jane said, "I don't know what happens next. I do hope you're not too easy."

Hannah was silent. She was wondering what it would be like if she was a fictional character, the way she was written here.

"This is really strange, how this works," Hannah said, leaning forward to read the next section. Jane leaned forward too, biting her bottom lip, nervous with her own anticipation. She knew where her words really stopped, and where he'd take over.

* * * *

Adam found Hannah's candid cheerfulness refreshing. "Come along Miss Mimic! Lets check with Sebastian when they're planning to make a move. I can see him by the stairs."

He gently held Hannah's elbow to steer her through the crowd. She didn't mind the contact because the gallery was busy and it would have been easy to become separated. She liked the fragile connection, even though she'd not initiated it.

As he guided her, Adam saw the sheen in Hannah's hair and caught just the faintest scent of her shampoo. He prided himself on his sense of smell, but here there was a jumble of conflicting perfumes amongst so many guests. Many of them were older women who had a tendency to compensate for their age with ever stronger and sometimes overwhelming perfumes. He mused for a moment how he preferred the honest and sensual scent found on their bellies...

"You wrote that bit, Jane!" Hannah said, interrupting the flow. "I know you. You want him to write one of his nostalgic contemplations of women, where the words flow like honey."

"Sprung! I admit it. But you want it too, don't deny." Jane defended herself, and scrolled down the page. Hannah grinned. She wasn't denying a thing.

... as if nirvana was set free on a breeze. But this young woman, Hannah; he couldn't help himself, he breathed her scent in. He shivered, someone had walked over his grave. It was visceral, this response to the woman beside him.

In the study, Hannah got up from her chair and went to stand behind Jane. "Read out loud," she said, and slid her hand down inside Jane's soft hoody from the neck, cupping a small breast in her palm. Hannah pressed her hand gently against Jane's warm skin, loving the weight of her lover in her palm. "Go on," she said, "read from where you're up to."

"God, Han, what are you doing?"

"Turning you on, so when you write your next section, you're a little bit horny, a little bit aroused, and it'll be your job to continue telling about Adam and me. And you'll up the ante, coz you'll want to know Adam does with me, and you'll also want to know what your writer friend wants to do with you."

Hannah leaned over to run fingers down over Jane's belly, raising goosebumps up and down her arms. "You know what he's doing here, don't you? He's imagining you're an old flame of his. He's trying to put you into context. And Adam obviously knows about Jude being trans, but do you think he's twigged to me yet?"

"I dunno, Han. I'll keep writing and see where it ends up. Don't worry though, I'll look after you, but I can't do this with your hand down my front," Jane gave a quick kiss on Hannah's arm. She complied by slowly dragging her fingers up over Jane's breast, running over her erect nipple.

* * * *

'Hannah's trans, too. Ahh... Bit slow, tonight, me.' Adam kept his momentary sense of satisfaction to himself. He nodded towards Sebastian and Jude. He and Hannah went over to them. Hannah moved free of his arm, now that she had a clear destination.

"Hey, Adam," said Sebastian. "Jude, it's Adam and our new friend, Hannah." He let his sister know who'd arrived.

"Passionate Hannah! Have you had a good chance to look around?" Jude enquired, turning to face them.

Hannah made a quick glance to Adam, who replied, "We have, and it's been lovely to hear fresh ideas and impressions of the work from Hannah." He ushered her forward with the briefest touch to her waist. "I wonder, would it be okay if she came along with us to the after show do? I think her conversation with Jude was cut short earlier." He smiled at the young woman.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow to Adam, but immediately agreed. Jude took Hannah's arm and the women made their way down the stairs, already engrossed in conversation.

Sebastian and Adam followed, each savouring the sight the girls presented.

The rest of the evening was a busy whirl of introductions. Although Hannah had her chance to chat to Jude and to swap numbers, she found such events tiring. She was often the first to leave a party if she suddenly found herself alone in a crowd; unless she'd been drinking.

As Hannah began to make her goodbyes, Jude took her hand again.

"Hannah, don't take a cab. Adam lives the other side of the river and I'm sure he'd love to give you a lift home. You're on his way."

Hannah wouldn't normally accept a lift on her own with someone she barely knew, and even though Sebastian and Jude were at ease with Adam, she would have preferred to contact Leon or one of his Uber friends. She just wanted to get home and decompress, and she had the start of a headache, after forgetting wine and an empty tummy didn't mix.

"It's really no problem at all, Hannah," Adam added, reassuring her. "You're no more than five minutes off my route."

"You should, Hans," added Jude, and it was the use of her pet name that convinced her. If Jude saw her as a friend, and she knew Adam, then surely it was alright.

"Okay, yes. That's very kind of you, Adam, thank you. Jude says I should, so I will." Hannah looked up at him from under her hair, pulling it back from her face.

"Do you have everything with you? No silk dress smuggled out of the gallery in your bag?" Adam's easy conspiracy made Hannah chuckle, and she was disarmed by his gentle attention.

Adam's car smelled of expensive newness. Hannah noted its carpet had deeper pile than her front room, but the seats held her with firm leather that made it difficult for her to sit on her hands. She would normally sit on her hands when she felt awkward, but the hugging contours were clearly intended for more confident passengers. Instead, she folded her suede satchel on her lap and hid her hands under it. She felt conscious of her bare legs and wished she could hide them, too.

Adam glanced down to appreciate her legs. Their slender shape would remain another snapshot in his memory of her. His work gave him a natural eye for details and as he focused his attention on the busy evening traffic, the image lingered. He was certain her skin would be as smooth as ivory, but there were tiny goose bumps on her thighs. The goose bumps made her seem fragile and vulnerable.

She evoked in him the same feeling of waking up on Christmas morning as a child, of holding his child in his arms for the first time, of cutting a birthday cake or that second before a first kiss. Moments that felt almost too perfect. Adam was so lost in that moment he didn't at first hear Hannah speak.

"It's next left, after the market on the corner. Adam. Just here. Yup. I'm just around the corner but really, don't turn into the street -- it's quite narrow."

* * * *

Jane tapped away at her keyboard, typing quite fast. Hannah had slipped out of her work clothes and padded round their home in bare feet.

Jane paused occasionally, looking out at the city lights that now pierced the blackness outside. When she noticed her own reflection mirrored in the window, she rose to draw down the blind.

Hannah knew not to disturb Jane when she was busy. At times she was convinced a bomb could explode outside and Jane wouldn't register it -- it was as though she was in a different place. Although she focused on the screen, she had a faraway look in her eyes, but Hannah knew she would be back.

She always felt happy when Jane finished working, pushed the keyboard away and knew it would be 1,2,3,4,5 seconds and suddenly she was back. So predictable. So lovely.

Jane smiled and blew out her cheeks with relief.

"Happy?" Hannah asked, not able to make out Jane's expression. Jane stretched her hand to her.

"Sorry! I was away with it, huh?" Jane smiled, rubbing the back of her neck. "Come and see what you think. Here, grab my seat and I'll make us a cuppa."

They brushed past each other, affectionately running a hand across each other's shoulders. Hannah shuffled the chair forward, touched her glasses higher up her nose and rested her chin on the back of a hand to read.

"You've made me sound boring, Jane," Hannah called through to the kitchen.

"Why?" Jane called back.

"Well, there's this gorgeous older man with great taste and heaps of money and I'm like, 'Eeew, but what if he's a murderer?'" Hannah carefully took the hot mug Jane offered her. "Cool, thanks."

"You've only just met, like that evening, Hannah. Come on, neither of us would be entirely comfortable about that," Jane said, with a half a biscuit in her mouth. "And you do sit on your hands." She grinned. "If his character's anything like the writer, Adam would have noticed your goosebumps and surreptitiously turned up the heater."

"But what if I wasn't cold?"

* * * *

"Narrow? It's not a problem," Adam replied. "To your door, milady. It's the least I can do, in return for your delightful company tonight."

Adam turned the big car into the lane. "What number again?" he asked.

"Fifth down on the left. Oh look, you can pull up just past it, there's a spot." Hannah gestured towards a parking bay marked out in bricks.

Adam pulled into it and stopped, leaving the engine running. He had no expectations, they'd only just met.

Hannah gathered up her bag and reached for the door handle. Then she stopped, seeing her reflection in the window. Beyond her, further out, she saw Adam's reflection, watching her. She looked back at herself for several seconds, as if the world had stopped turning. She heard a fan on the engine kick in, and a thought came from nowhere, 'It must be on a thermostat.'

The moment passed, and she turned to him. "Adam, I'm.... Would you like to come in?" She said it without thinking, without thought. "I mean, for a moment, anyway. If you'd like... only if -"

"I would like that, Hannah, yes. To your door. To make sure you're safe inside." It was as if he'd rescued her from rushing on in her nervous chatter, and would merely escort her to the front door.

Hannah realised it was his way of asking, "Are you sure?" without the awkwardness of putting it into words.

"It's... it's a permit zone. I have a card, to put on the dash. For visitors."

Hannah committed herself to another step, this time inside, for her permit was in a table drawer just inside the front door.

"Just for a moment, then." Again, Adam left Hannah an escape. "That would be nice."