Traveling Alone

Holy shit... fucking a man was opening a whole new world of experiences for me. He fucking wanted this. Women usually just say back and take it, but Jesse was all in. Pushing hard. Pushing me to go harder. Strength on strength. Strength calling to strength. We drove each other on, harder and harder. Whole body fucking... our hands, our skin, our mouths, our hair, everything all together. Raw aggression, but slowed to make sure we both could wrench every single sensation out of this.

Jesse swung his face to mine, hugging me tightly against him as he relentlessly twist-drove himself up and down. Coiled violence. His face locked against my neck. The wetness of his tongue playing against the roughness of his beard. Fucking. Relentlessly fucking. The feel of his hard dick grinding against my hairy, sweaty abs... lubed up by sweat and a gush of precum. Fucking. Turning his hips. Wet suction. Deep. Fucking. Raw....

He pulled back sharply and started bucking sharply. Driving himself. Hard. My dick was on fire. Pressure. FUCKING PRESSURE. Oh God, the physicality... playing harder and more violently than we could ever play with a girl. It was too much. I wanted to go on forever, for fucking EVER. I prided myself on my stamina. But that pressure. That pressure was too much. I could feel my balls boil over, starting at the core of my body. Racing. Racing Volcanic. Fire. FIRE. OHGODOHGODOHGOD....

And I shot the biggest load of my entire life, straight up into my new buddy's ass. Holy Hell did I scream.

Jesse stunned me. I kinda thought that... well, you know, that that might be it. But Jesse was just getting started. He pulled out, knelt his head down... and fucking inhaled my cummy, assy cock.

Holy...! He didn't give a flying fuck. Just screaming, primal need. I writhed on the bed, my arms twisting in the sheets. I don't even know what kind of animal sounds I made. What the fuck, what the FUCK was he doing?!? Going after my spent dick, then my balls, then my dick again.... The sensations ripped apart my brain, sensations I felt that....

And then in a flash, Jesse pushed back my legs, forcing my knees toward my chest. Before I could react, he drove his face into my exposed ass.

And I howled like an entire pack of wolves.

Holy SHIT! HE WAS EATING MY ASS! Oh Sweet Jesus... is THAT what it felt like when I went after him?!? OhGodhoGodohGod. His mouth... his fucking TONGUE was INSIDE MY HAIRY HOLE! I never, ever did anything with my ass before... no girlfriend of mine would ever touch it. But Jesse made me a fucking believer. Everywhere! And his fucking beard was shredding my skin. Wildly sweeping up and down my crack. Making out with my hairy pucker. Fuck, he was everywhere. Going at me hard. Lapping me like a rabid dog. With animal violence. I swung my hand down, instinctively trying to fist my dick. He batted it away with a snarl.

I wanted him to eat me forever, but he was far too gone, he needed to fucking rut. He spat again into his hand, and I knew what was coming. I felt a tang of icy panic... not sure if I could. Not sure if I wanted to....

Before I could protest, he ripped me open with his dick. I yelled, as loud as he had. Jesse growled out to me, "Push back. It helps. And it only stings for a minute." There was a bit of comforting in his voice, but a snarling sense of command. Oh... he was most definitely going to give it to me, and I was going to take it.

He kept pushing through my pain. I tried to force myself to breathe. Breathe. Breaaaaatheee. Jesse rolled his hips along like an obscene dance. Forward and back, side to side. It helped. I could feel myself adjusting. The icy pain starting to go down...

...but somewhere, I don't know where, something new was happening. It was like... my body... was starting to... glow. Like there was light... inside me. Warm, golden. Light. It was like. There was. Oh fuck. Light. Light inside me. It was. Fuck. I can't believe. Light that was starting to. Oh FUCK. What was that... It was... LIGHT.

I let out a wondering moan. Deep, as deep as the light inside me. Jesse gave me a crooked smile. "You feel that? That's just the beginning."

"Oh... God. Jesse. What... are you... doing? Oh God. It feels. It feels. So. So fucking GOOD!"

He leaned in, kissing me savagely as he started driving into me. God. OH GOD. I could feel him. Feel his cockhead. Feel his dick push through. Oh GAWWWWWWD. He was inside me. On top of me. Everywhere. Our hairy chests grinding together, our nipples scoured by the other guy's chest hair. Sweat. Everywhere sweat.

Oh GOD. Fucking Jesse's ass had opened up a whole new world of sex to me... but Jesse fucking mine opened up an entire multiverse. HOLY SHIT. It was like I was cumming. My whole body pulsating with light. BRIGHT LIGHT. There was only Jesse... and the Light. Jesse's dick... and the Light. Jesse's sweat, Jesse's hands, Jesse's hair, Jesse's smell... AND THE LIGHT! I thrashed against him. Fucking out of my mind. My body on fire. The sheets tangled in my fingers. THE FUCKING LIGHT!

I blew. I didn't even know where it came from. My whole world went white as my body contorted, nearly lifting off the bed, and I blasted about 10 gallons of cum all over the both of us. Jesse followed suit, pumping out a screaming orgasm that made the bed shudder so badly I thought it would collapse.

He savagely made out with me, our bodies rippling with new experiences...

...and then we really started going after each other.

I can't even guess how many times we fucked that night, as we never really stopped. It was like a fucking hurricane of sex--limbs, sweat, cum, and roars. Constantly in motion. Constantly needing more. The raw physicality of it all... it was like we were fucking storming the beaches of Iwo Jima. As only guys can do.

Sometime later, I awoke. It was morning, with light filtering in from my lone window. I stretched and was suddenly aware that muscles I didn't even know I had were sore. Naked... I was still naked. I swung my legs off the bed, sitting up and letting my feet rest on the cool of the floor. I sat there. It took me a minute to gather the courage and look behind me. Yep, Jesse was still there, dead asleep on his side, facing me. The thin sheet draped over his lower torso.

Maybe it was best I couldn't see him in his full glory. Maybe I....

Fuck.

What the fuck happened. I must have been drunk out of my...

Shit.

I knew my body. I might have been well-lubricated, especially at first... but yeah, that excuse was weak sauce. I mean, sitting there, I was nowhere near being hung over. I roughly ran my hand across my stubbled chin, and... out of reflex smelled my fingers. Mmm. Man scent.

Yeah... fuck.

I had no coherent thought. Last night, swept up in everything, we were charging full-speed ahead without so much as a backward glance. Well now, I had time for backward glances a-plenty. Shit. Shitshitshit.

I'm not gay. I. Am. Not. Gay.

How did I let this happen? Why did I let it happen. And what the fuck was I going to do now?

I sat there for God knows how long, at the intersection of guilt and memory, my thoughts not even finishing themselves... shifting wildly....

A motion behind me... Jesse stirred. Shit. God, just look at him. Look at him. The living vision of what guys wanted to be, and what girls wanted to be with. And... where did I fit into that scheme of things? Jesse moved again, rubbing his hand down his face, rubbing his eye.

"Hey," he said simply. His voice raspy and eyes bleary.

"Hey man. 'Morning."

"You getting up?"

"Yeah." A long pause. Shit. After the endless river of conversation yesterday, right now I couldn't think of anything to say. Something. Say something. "I have to catch the morning bus, start making my way back to San José."

Jesse propped himself up slightly. "Yeah... got it." He looked at me, looked down, then went on cautiously, "Should we... I dunno... like trade... contact info? Or... something...?"

My brow furrowed. I mean, two random travelers on the road? How would that even work? Nowadays, we'd have smart phones and social media, but there was nothing like that at the time. I took in breath to respond he cut me off curtly. "Sorry, sorry. That's... yeah, I know." There was a long pause. He slid his body together and fully sat up. Sitting on the bed, slightly behind me. "Last night was... that was...." Silence.

"Yeah," I said simply. Silence weighed us down.

"I don't.... I don't know what to say. I'd ask you if we're cool... but to be honest, I'm afraid to hear your answer. I'm not sure if 'yes' or 'no' scares me more."

I gave a humorless chuckle. Neither of us were looking at the other. It kinda hit me. Jesse wasn't some prick, he really was a good guy. A good guy thrown off as much as I was. No asshole bravado, no overconfident moves. Just... trying to make sense of what had happened. Shit. It was all so... easy... when it was happening. But now...?

Finally, Jesse let out a big sigh. "I wasn't lying last night. I've never done anything like this before. But I gotta say... thank you. It... um... just... thanks, man." He rested his hand on my shoulder, lightly. Not asking for anything or looking for anything, just acknowledging. Open and honest. Like he was.

Just another guy looking for a connection. And finding it.

I think that's what finally did me in. The sound of my bright, bold, buddy... a fucking King of the World... quietly acknowledging what we'd gone through. Not loudly, but a humbled sense of awe. It made all the bullshit circling in my mind fade away. Wiped away by the force of that connection we had.

As hard as it was, as uncertain as I was, I couldn't leave him hanging like that.

"Jesse." I looked up towards the ceiling, then down again, as memories played across my mind. "I... don't know that I'll ever be able to talk about this, with anyone else, ever again. For the rest of my life. But before I lock everything away, let me say... just once... out loud.... This was... the best. You are... the best." My voice was no more than a murmur, quiet out of proportion to how important my words were. "I felt... alive. It wasn't just the sex, it was the sex with you. You...."

Jesse cut me off, leaning his forehead against my shoulder. I could feel his breath against my skin. I turned. Reached over, digging my fingers through his beard. That soft, slow scratch of him. Snaking my other arm around him. Pulling him up. His eyes. His fucking eyes. Our mouths met. Hard and wet.

And a million fucking butterflies in my stomach awoke... and took off at once.

We let our bodies say the things our words failed to do. It was better that way. His hands, his skin, the hair on his body, dried sweat and dried cum. All merged with mine. Fire. Determination to make every last fucking second count. Alive with each other. Fucking alive.

I went hard at all his hot spots from last night, showing I was paying attention, showing how strongly he lived in my memory. Honoring our time together. His scent, all his scents. Wanting them to be a part of me. Wanting to smell him for days. His hands. My mouth. The pressure. The force as we ground against each other. Legs entwined. Hairy nipples scratching against hairy nipples. Friction, and the slickness of sweat. He did the same, our breathing coming out in gasping rat-a-tat-tats.

Fired by him, by all of him, something inside me snapped. I was Noah Unleashed. We slammed together, like a fucking wresting match. Everything everywhere. Hunger we didn't even know we had consuming us whole.

I wrestled him onto all fours, and before he knew what hit him, I was fucking balls deep inside him. Hairy bush to hairy hole. My cockhead rearranging his innards. He snarled at the invasion. Violently pounding his fist on the bed. His guts pressing hard against my dick, nearly to the point of pain. I leaned down, my hairy chest dragging across his back. We had fucked long and deep last night, our bodies flaring by the intensity, the ruthless hunger. But this was different, surprising me. This was a fucking explosion. The fucking Grand Finale of Fourth of July Fireworks. I fucking slammed him. Harder. HARDER.

I reared up, my hands digging into his hips. Going fucking wild, rapid-power hammer strokes. My blows as deep and violent as our feelings for each other. And he met me, power with power. Fucking me as hard as I was plowing him. Free from concerns. Free from convention. Finally free to be real men. Knowing we could take it. Knowing how we needed it. Honoring each other. Honoring our power.

Power.

Jesus. If I ever thought about gay sex, it was probably to sneer at it for being weak, and a weak substitute for the "real" thing.

Holy fucking shit. The fucking POWER we brought. Naked, relentless POWER. Ripping apart everything, let alone my stupid preconceived notions. Raw, thundering POWER. Wrestling with the gods POWER. Fucking masculine POWER.

My balls slapped against his ass, making a wonderfully nasty sound. My dick gorging him mercilessly, ripping into him too fast for him to react to. My body roared with volcanic fire, brighter and hotter than anything. The fucking end of the world. FASTER. HARDER. My animalistic cry ripped out of my throat, only to be drowned out by his. We fucking roared like a thousand screaming demons. Everyone in the whole fucking town must have heard us... and knew two men were coming together as Men. Goddamn, I was going to burn this moment forever into our memories forever.

And when we blasted our loads together, I swear I almost blacked out.

*

I barely made the bus, sprinting the last hundred feet before it pulled away. Sitting on those ancient school bus seats was like torture, especially on that wildly rough road. But it gave me smug satisfaction; I felt like I had well-earned battle scars.

I was tired enough that I did something I almost never do on road trips--I drifted off to sleep. And thought-dreamed about the weekend all the way back to civilization.

Yeah... they were right. Every man should travel alone. Alone, you're free from the millions of compromises we make every day to get through daily life. Free from our overdetermined sense of self. Away from constraints, you can finally, truly experience the world. Taste it. Feast on it. Decide things about it. You get a chance to root around in the dark corners of your mind, and find that maybe they're not so dark after all.

To grow up. And come back as a man.

Yeah... I was most definitely coming back feeling like a man.

And Jesse? Out there, somewhere?

Thank you.