All Comments on 'Travelling with wife and daughter'

Good job ,well done. If these are your first two stories. I would have 2 comments.

1. keep it hot.

2. make it longer, or better yet make it a series.

I've seen both stories, your good keep writing. THANKS

either you are not a natural English speaker or you need an editor...... i recently had a story rejected for grammar and punctuation. I was told I needed an editor. my story was posted without an editor. i replied that i had read many stories that had been reviewed by an editor and they were very badly written. I suggest you find an editor and if that editor does not spell check, or check for grammatical errors,and punctuation, then find another! your content was interesting but it was a difficult read due to the errors and tense using past and present in the same sentence?

yes you need an editor but keep trying write as you would speak then read what you have written to see if it makes sense. you can expect the truth from an writer

5 stars!

I reread it again. So very sexy!

Lovin this story. Many fantasy’s cum true, hoping for sequels.

The stoty is hot

Yeahh....that is hot story!