TRC - Searching for the Sky Ch. 22

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"I need to be on the ground anyway if I'm looking for traps," said Kedder.

Falma nodded then looked back at Elden. "If we get into trouble you come running and save our asses, alright priestess?"

"I know my job," snapped the woman. "What about him?" she asked, with an aggressive wave in Kal's direction.

Falma looked at the mage and shook her head, smiling. "This's gotta be the first time I've ever said this to a wizard. You stay close behind 'til we know what we're dealing with. I'll be in front," she said, rapping her knuckles against her armor.

Kal indicated he understood while taking mental notes on how the swordswoman took charge of the situation. If he was going to be running a small city then these lessons in leadership would come in handy.

They rode for a while longer then dismounted and left the horses behind. Kal used his strength rune to sink a metal stake into the ground that had small dull hooks sticking out on either side of the top. The shape prevented the animal from slipping the rope up and over by accident and it was short enough a good tug from the horses could pull it up if the animals were attacked. A handle on the top made it easy for one of the riders to pull it out and quickly release the horses in the event they needed to escape. They each tied a loop in the end of their mount's lead rope and tossed it over the stake.

The party slowly crept toward the nearest of the circles with their weapons at the ready. Falma unsheathed her sword and held it in front of her. Kal noticed that she could easily hold the large blade one-handed. When she saw his confused look, she pointed at her belt and curled her arm as if showing off her muscles.

Kedder had a beautifully crafted dagger and was idly tossing and flipping it in one hand. His attention was more focused on the ground and a ring on his other hand which he mentioned earlier helped him find traps more easily, especially magical ones. Elden sported a staff identical to the one Elta used except hers had a depression for her thumb instead of an actual button. Kal thought it was odd that she didn't have something more impressive until he realized that there probably wasn't a huge difference in hers and Elta's positions as far as the church hierarchy. Admittedly, being an Abbess at a cathedral in a large city came with a lot more bragging rights than a small town church that didn't even have a proper building yet.

As they got closer, they could see the circle was a shallow mound that barely reached above the tall grass. At it's top was a small boulder. They crept up to the edge, wary of an ambush. The swordswoman and thief shared a look just before the thief took a small throwing knife out of its sheath and flung it at the mound.

Nothing happened besides the knife returning to Kedder's hand a few seconds later.

Falma brushed aside some of the reddish-brown material comprising the mound. "Sand?"

Something tripped in Kal's head, circular piles of sand with tiny rocks nearby used to seal the hole beneath.

"Ants," said the mage.

The thief looked around for a second before agreeing. "That explains taking out and entire cavalry comp—"

He was interrupted by a shriek from behind them. Kal, Kedder, and Falma turned to see a hole where the priestess had been standing only seconds before.

"Fuck!" yelled the fighter, running over with the other two close behind.

The blood-curdling scream of pain that came back up the hole was unlike anything Kal had heard before.

The fighter and thief looked at each other, terror etched on their faces.

"We're still here so she isn't dead yet," said Falma.

"We may as well go after her. Either the bugs kill us, or we die when she does." Kedder turned to Kal. "If you sit this one out I won't blame you."

"I'm in."

The thief smiled. "Good to hear. Get us out of this and maybe fighter girl here will give you a piece of ass on the way back," he said before jumping down the hole.

"That jerk," said Falma as she sheathed her sword and unhooked the scabbard. Holding it in front of her, she sat on the edge of the opening and looked up at Kal, "He's not wrong though." Smiling, she pushed off and disappeared into the darkness below.

Kal pointed at the staff lying on the ground by his feet. "Ria, store that please."

Was he doing this for the map?

No, he was doing this because it was the right thing to do and saving the priestess meant saving the other two as well. Taking a deep breath, he jumped down after them.

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18 Comments
Rhino77PIlotRhino77PIlot5 months ago

Bugs! Brings back scenes from MIB. This could get stranger very quickly.

Ravey19Ravey19over 2 years ago

It's still going strong

skippersdadskippersdadover 3 years ago

Ants, thinking of the old movie THEM.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
I don't get the comments/sentiments of the thief and fighter...

thinking if the cleric dies, they die. I didn't get that from their explanations of why they were on this foray.

The thief said it was sign on, or lose his hands. The fighter said it was sign on, or face charges for stabbing the abusive noble. I don't recall either saying they were signed to a compact where their life was forfeit if the cleric dies.

Sounds like a plot hole was missed in editing.

Which brings up the editing. One of the previous comments commended the editing. The editing gets a B, at best. There are 'messy' sentences, and missing words through out the work.

'Messy sentences' are repetitive prepositional phrases, run on sentences, etc. what many amateur editors don't understand is one purpose of editing is to minimize words. Originally, because of primarily print medium, it was more cost effective, but it is also dictated by efficient communication being the primary purpose of the written word.

Concise writing, without unnecessary words IS good communication. The message, tempo, and enviroment intended by the author can still be imparted to the reader after unnecessary conjuctions, prepositions, and repetitive phrases are removed.

I'm not saying this isn't a great story. As I commented at the end of book one, this is good as ANY published sci fi/fantasy I have read in the 50+ years I've been voraciously consuming the genre. It just isn't ready for 'prime time'. It just needs a pro to spit polish it and it would be a manuscript ready for layout, and printing.

After writing and editing non-fiction for 30+ years, I don't want to see the bar lowered for what is quality editing.

GeoD

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
Ants? Really?

Great setup. FIGHT!!!

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