Trials of Love Pt. 02

"So it was Nigel who purposely dropped me from the guest list."

"No, no, I got Stephen to explain to me why you weren't on the list. He said that the agency had given Nigel a list of the invited guests. You weren't on that list. why would you be, you were officially one of the hosts. When the error was noted, one of Stephen's people contacted Nigel's personal assistant to add you. It seems that by then the list was more than full, and as the assistant didn't recognise your name nor the importance of having you there, they ignored the request."

"Kay, did you see the list?"

"Yes, I was asked to check it."

"And did you?"

"Yes."

"Was I on it?"

"I don't know. I wasn't looking for you. I guess I just thought you would be."

"But you didn't check, did you. Because if you had, you'd have known I didn't get an invitation. And did you know about the venue change?" She nodded.

"And at any time did you think that it might be a good idea to let me know it was changed. Or were you just hoping I wouldn't turn up, especially since I'd said I'd meet you backstage ... or did you forget that too."

"Christ no, it was nothing like that. It just seems that everyone from Stephen's side thought that someone else had checked that you were on the damn list and told you where it would be."

She gave me a sad look, "If only you'd been on the list as one of your aliases and not as yourself. Then that damn assistant of Nigel's would have known who you were and wouldn't have ignored the request."

Cassie interrupted, "Aliases? Why, who is he?"

Kayla said proudly, "Peter writes under several aliases. Meet Marion Peters, Sylvia James and Ryan James, who are collective, my husband, Peter Ryan."

"Just an author!" Caroline snorted, remembering my earlier comment. "I've got at least six of your books."

"Christ, I've got a few as well," Cassie exclaimed.

"Ca Ching," I said, "My bank account thanks, both of you." I got a slap on the back of my head for that.

"You will send both of them a full set of signed first editions for that," I was told by Kayla who was rubbing her hand. I agreed but felt we were getting off track and there were still lots questions I needed answers to.

"Ok, fine, the list was a fuck up, I'll accept that. But then why did you leave without me? You knew I was at the concert, Christ you had them shine a spot on my seat to check. We agreed to talk after the show, yet when I get backstage, you've gone. I could only draw one conclusion; you didn't want me at the reception to hear your lover propose marriage to you."

"I don't know, it happened so fast. One moment I was backstage, changing out of my performance dress. The next I was in the back of the limo taking us to the club. I asked Stephen where you were, but he was on his phone."

"So at no point did you think about just telling the driver that someone was missing and he should go back?" Kay's head dropped, and she gave the barest of shakes.

"Ok, let's come back to that later," I said, "but the big question is, why did Ni-gel feel he was entitled to propose to you. Trust me it's not something you do on a whim. He had to expect that you would say yes. Everything I saw and heard at that moment, told me he was convinced you loved him. He looked certain that you'd say yes; he had that confidence. He was doing it in public; he was that certain. That doesn't sound like your description of a few kisses and caresses. He'd heard words of love from you, I'm guessing. There's some-thing you're not telling me."

Kay just sat there sobbing. After a few moments, I got up and walked off down the dockside. I needed a few minutes to calm down, or I was going to say something that would push my marriage well past any chance of recovery. I sat down on the bench the Capitainerie, and I had used just yesterday and pondered my next move. Thanks to Caroline's meddling, the Nevermore was no longer my sanctuary. I wasn't going to be able to sail away again.

Something was very wrong in the House of Ryan. Kay was definitely hiding something from me. The only thing that made sense to me was that she'd had an affair with Nigel. Jesus what a convoluted life we led. If Nigel wasn't aware that Kay was married, was it an affair from his side or just a beautiful romance leading towards marriage? It would have been an affair from her side, and certainly was from mine.

But that didn't make sense either, as she'd said that he knew she was married! In which case, he'd been targeting a married woman with all that implied.

A fair time later, most likely more than an hour, a hand touched my shoulder. I turned to look expecting to see Kay, but instead, it was Cassie.

"Can we talk," she asked? I gestured to the bench, and she sat beside me.

"Paul's taken Tom off to the bar down the street so that we girls could talk in private. He says you are seriously going to owe him big time for that.

"We've both been talking to her, oh, she's definitely been foolish, and let things get out of hand. She did a lot with him she shouldn't. Far more that she wants to admit to you. But she's adamant that, how do I put this for your delicate ears, she's never fucked him." She concluded with her customary Australian bluntness.

I looked at her in disbelief.

She shook her head, "It's true, she's terrible at lying. I can spot one from a mile away. She may be a tad economical with the truth, but she can't lie her way out of a wet paper bag. She loves you and while she may have briefly fallen for his charms and played around a bit. I'm fairly sure she never went the final mile. She is so scared that regardless of all the circumstances you'll leave her."

What circumstances, I thought? Either she had, or hadn't had an affair, and if she had, I'm not sure I'd be able to forgive her. I'd need to decide what I was going to do if she had.

Cassie must have worked out what I'd been thinking. She held out a pair of small pill containers to show me. "I'm not going to make excuses for her, but I'm a nurse, and I recognise these as fertility enhancing drugs."

What, why would she be taking fertility drugs? "I'm not sure where this is go-ing?" I said.

"The pair of you decided that you wanted children and this two years away from the limelight was the perfect opportunity, correct?"

"Aha." I murmured.

"She knew you weren't firing blanks. Apparently, you've got very strong swimmers." I raised my eyebrows at that statement.

"She saw the report from your last big medical," she added.

Then she continued. "But she was concerned about her ability to conceive. Her periods have always been a bit erratic, so she went to a gynaecologist, one a friend of Stephen's recommended. She's been using a strong type of the pill since she's was fifteen to regularise her cycle. She was really concerned that it may have affected her chances to have a baby. The doctor told her to take these," and she pointed at the containers I still clutched in my hand.

"They are used to improve the odds so to say. She started taking them several months before the tour ended. Christ knows why the doctor gave her these ones, she shouldn't have any problem if she'd just stopped taking the pill."

I thought quickly, "So she stopped taking the pill first?"

She shook her head, "Ahh no, and that's where her little plan went off the rails. She was told to stop the contraceptive pill, for at least a month, preferably two, before starting these drugs."

Of course, she hated having to perform if she was menstruating. She got bad cramps. She'd plan her performances around her periods.

I said, "Let me guess, she didn't want the hassle of erratic periods during the tour but wanted to be as fertile as the Loire Valley as soon as we went away."

"Give the man a plastic peanut. She now knows that for some people there can be a huge side effect if you are taking the pill she was on and these drugs."

I could see where this was heading. "Oh come on, she's not going to use the 'it was the drugs that made me do it' excuse is she?"

"She's not, I am."

She held up her hand to forestall the retort I was about to make.

"I checked with a pharmacist I know back home to confirm my suspicions," she said. "He wasn't impressed at being woken up at the crack of dawn. But he was able to confirm her story. Both drugs influence the body's hormones, and they can interact with other drugs such as the pill. Well, as I understand it, if you are one of the unlucky ones, the effects are a bit like you've got a sexual itch that needs constant scratching. Actually what he said was 'she'd have been like a bitch on heat'. You weren't around those last few weeks and ..."

"Nigel was," I finished. "So, did she get scratched by him?"

"Only partly it seems. Her story is that she let herself get worked up by him then run away to the safety of her room and finished herself off with her trusty vibe."

She gave a quick laugh, "Apparently she wore the first one out. She found one that she could take with her on her dates. From the sound of it I've got to get me one of those." She said the last with a degree of conviction.

"Why for Christ's sake, you've got Tom."

Yes, I know I was getting distracted, but who wouldn't want the answer to that question. Was he really 12 inches?

"You mean the walking dildo, yes I know what you all call him. Yah well he's got an enormous cock, and shit, he really knows what to do with it, but fuck is he dumb! I love fucking a man with a big cock, and he's just perfect for when I need someone to fuck me until I can't come anymore. But live with him? Fuck no, he's most definitely moving into the friend with benefits category after this holiday."

I laughed at her assessment of Tom. I'd forgotten how forthright Australian women could be and it was a refreshing diversion. Although I had sort of lost where we were going with this conversation and quickly asked her the first thing that came to my mind while I tried to get the rest of my thoughts back on track.

"So what's so special about this vibe thingy then, if you are going to replace Tom with it?"

She gave me an amused look. "I don't remember what she called it, but it's a springy U shape, and both ends vibrate. One end goes inside your pussy and presses against the g-spot. The other end rests over your clit, and it holds itself in place. You can control it with a little remote. Fuck, clit and g-spot at the same time, who needs a man." She gave me a happy smile

"Hang on, you've got to be kidding, did you say she took it with her on her dates!"

"It's true, if she used it when she was on a date, she didn't feel as though she'd been unfaithful to you. But her body kept wanting more, and she began not to trust herself around Nigel. She sensed something was wrong with herself. But it wasn't until her assistant found her all over him after a performance five weeks before the end of the tour, she found out what was wrong with her.

Her assistant insisted she sees a doctor. He worked out what was wrong and took her off both drugs. Unfortunately, it took a while for the effect to wear off. So she was still getting the occasional urges. Which Nigel interpreted as Kay still had feelings for him."

I sighed, I hated to admit it, but it almost sounded plausible. But there were one or two points I was unsure of.

"So did he know she was married, did Kay tell him?"

"I didn't have to tell him I was married because I thought he knew," Kayla spoke, neither of us has seen her approach the bench. "I talked about you, but only in the briefest of ways. I don't discuss you with people you don't know, and he definitely fell into that category. He was not a confident."

She sat down on the other side of me. "Our marriage is common knowledge with Stephen's assistants, and I guessed that they'd told him. I'm sad to say, that because of my behaviour they all thought I was having an affair with him, so they kept quiet around you."

"Were you?"

"I suppose it depends on what your definition of an affair is? I didn't think so at the time as I never loved him. Even in the worst moments when I desperately wanted someone, anyone to fuck me, I couldn't betray you. But did I let it go further than I should have, yes I'm afraid I did."

There was a long silence after her last statement while we both gathered our thoughts.

"Why didn't you tell me," I finally asked. "I'd have cancelled the rest of my engagements, you know I would. You were the most important thing in the world to me." I noted after I said it, that I'd used the past tense.

"How was I supposed to tell you there were times those last couple of months that I was feeling so sexually needy, I'd happily have fucked the whole of the orchestra. I didn't know what was happening to me. It was only my love for you that kept me from making the ultimate mistake."

"People knew I'd changed and there was no way I wanted you to find out what I'd been up to. That was a good reason why I didn't want you at the reception. I was sure someone would tell you about Nigel and me. I didn't want you to hear that people were convinced we'd been fucking like rabbits the past couple of months."

She heard me gasp in horror.

"We didn't ... we really didn't, please believe me. By that last week the hormones were no longer affecting me, and I was just so embarrassed. I just wanted to forget the whole thing. How could I stand up in front of all those people and tell them that we'd been married for the past eight years after some of them had seen what I'd been like around him. You would have heard the rumours about my behaviour, it would have sounded like I'd been having an affair."

"I was only intimate with our friend George in your absence. You remember George, that cute pink vibrator you got me as a present when I began the tour. He'd been my constant companion on tour, he'd been the perfect lover in your absence. Well, he died after two weeks of hard labour."

She grinned, "He died a happy death, pulsing his last as I came."

Both Cassie and I laughed at the mock sadness in her voice.

She turned serious, "The trouble was the urge would come on at any time. When it was at its worst point, I'd just need to see an attractive man and I'd feel the need. There's only so many times you can run off to your room, or the loo for a quick wank without everyone around you thinking you're a complete nutter."

"I found a solution, though," she held a hand up to forestall the obvious question. "One that involved no bodily contact with a second person."

She passed me a purple soft rubbery object from a large pocket on her skirt. "Meet George the second, this little toy kept me sane after the first George died, until the effects of the stupid drugs wore off. He was mail order."

Cassie's description had been relatively accurate. A U-shaped vibrator with ends that were flattened and slightly flared out. One arm was a bit longer. As it sat on my hand, it began to buzz, and Kay showed me the remote in her hand.

She continued talking as I absently turned George the second over in my hand. "It seemed that those last few months I was attending a lot more than the usual round of social events. Nigel was at almost all of them, I guess because he and Stephen were working on me to commit to a lot more records with Diamond. Stephen seemed anxious that I should still do the odd concert over the two years."

"Err, I don't suppose I could borrow that, if it's that good I do so want to try it." Cassie interrupted, pointing at the vibrator I'd forgotten I was still holding.

Kay nodded, "I've got a second one, so have that one as a gift. It's rechargeable, and I was worried it would run out at an inopportune moment, so I ended up buying two."

"Is it really as good as it looks?"

"Better, and apparently you can also use it while you're making love. You both get a buzz at the same time."

Cassie's eyes lit up at that, and with a kiss and a hug to both of us she got up and left carrying her new lover. She walked back to the boats in the growing darkness with a sense of urgency in her step, fiddling with the remote as she did.

She turned and called back. "Christ, this thing better have a full charge!"

We could hear her giggling after Kay called back that it was full and should last a couple of hours. As she stepped aboard the Wizard, we heard her call out Tom's name.

Kay turned back to me, her expression serious again. "Nigel's a smooth operator, he knew just what to say and act to get my attention. With my bloody hormones all over the place, it wasn't long before I began to respond to his advances. It seemed fairly innocent in the beginning, he'd hold my hand and sit close. Before long I was looking forward to his touches, I didn't know my body was betraying me."

She gave me an earnest look, "I'm not trying to excuse my behaviour, Pete. I enjoyed the attention I got from him, I just let it go a lot further than I should have. That I do blame on my hormones."

"How much further?"

She looked at me hopefully, "Can we leave at a lot further than I should have, but not so far that you will despise me?"

"If you were me would you agree to that?" I asked her.

She gave a deep sigh, "No, I guess I wouldn't. Just remember I wasn't completely in control of my emotions. I did things I'd never have done under normal circumstances."

"I understand, and I'm not condemning you for what happened. But I need to know what happened."

"He's one of those people you instinctively feel comfortable around. He doesn't need to work to attract women. He took over as my contact with the recording company about five months before the end of the tour. I'd told Tessa, the previous contact, that I was not going to record or tour for at least two years. He was sent to change my mind. Stephen hadn't been happy about the decision either so he kept arraigning for us to meet up."

She was shivering as she spoke, at first, I thought it was her nerves. Then I realised she was cold. The evening had turned cold, and she was only wearing the thin cotton dress.

"Come on," I said, "let's go back to the boat and get you warmed up."

She was quick to agree, and we walked past the Wizard towards the Nevermore. As we passed the rear of the Wizard, we heard Cassie's incoherent cries of pleasure and Tom's grunts drifting out from the open skylight. She was obviously making great use of his long tool.

"I wonder if she's having a threesome with George," Kay giggled in amusement. Cassie's cries peaked and then died away, only to start building up again. It sounded like Tom was living up to his billing.

Onboard the Nevermore, Kay got a wrap out of her bag and put it around her shoulders. I made us a warm drink, and we settled down on the sofa.

"Do you want to pick this up tomorrow?" I asked as she yawned.

She shook her head, "No, I'd rather get it off my chest now, I'd like to go to bed with a clean conscience." I nodded, and she settled into a comfortable position, curled up against me.

"So for the first few weeks, it all seemed so innocent. That was before I'd started on the fertility treatment. He was just a nice person, who was around a lot. We were at a lot of the same do's, and we talked. It seemed natural to accept his offer of the odd meal, or a trip to a nightclub. Half the time Stephen and James would join us. Hell at one time I even wondered if he was gay as he seemed to hang around Stephen so much."

"I'm not too sure when it changed. I'd started taking the fertility enhancing drugs almost four months before the end of the tour. Gradually I was letting him hold my hand, and enjoying his presence as he sat beside me. The hormones must have been building up because it wasn't long before seeing any attractive man, would make me feel sexually frustrated."