Triggers

NOTE: This story touches on rape and molestation to a couple of 50+ old adults when they were under 18 years of age. There is also a paragraph about gang rape in college. If this is not your cup of tea, please feel free to move on. A big thank you to the Literotica people who offered guidance on how to present this story without violating this organizations excellent guidelines.

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This was a new experience for me. I felt a connection with Barbara the moment we met at an older adult speed dating event. There is no way to explain it but the link appeared strong and deep. I was scared to say anything because there was no certainty she felt the same way.

After the interviews finished, I saw her talking to a guy while she glanced in my direction discretely but repeatedly. I took that as a good sign. His body language indicated he was very interested in her. Her body language said she didn't share the same enthusiasm.

Hoping I read them correctly, I left the table, grabbed a couple of soft drinks, and took the cans back to my chair. When she looked my way, I held up a can and showed an expression which I hoped said, "Would you like another ginger ale?"

She smiled then looked back at him. He gave her a slip of paper which I guessed was his contact information. She thanked him while slowly moving in my direction. When he turned to talk with another woman, she walked toward me wasting no steps or speed. Less than 10 feet to go, another man stopped her. They chatted for a moment and he also gave her a slip of paper.

I almost laughed out loud seeing her eyes roll as she came to the table.

"Is this seat taken?" she asked.

I stood saying, "No ma'am. Please sit down."

As we sat down, I slid a ginger ale toward her and said, "Barbara, isn't it?"

"Yes it is, Peter. How did you know I liked ginger ale?"

"I saw you drinking one before the event began. So, I gambled you might like another. Thanks for remembering my name. "

Her smile was so real and gorgeous. I was mesmerized.

"Did you memorize what the other women were drinking or just me? By the way, thanks for waiting."

"At the risk of sounding cliché, you are the only woman I noticed all evening long. And another cliché comes to mind which is I feel an instant attraction to you."

She stared at the table for a long moment.

"Thank you. I must have felt the attraction because here I am."

The nervous laughter making her even more beautiful.

"Would you join me for dinner?" I asked impetuously.

Recognizing the deer-in-the-headlights look, I feared I moved too fast. She took a sip then seemed to be pondering the pros and cons.

That beautiful smile appeared as she said, "I would like that."

A few moments later she asked, "Did I say something wrong?"

"Uh....no....not at all," I managed to say. "I'm surprised a beautiful woman like you would go out with a guy like me."

"Don't sell yourself short, Peter. Of all the guys here, you spent more time looking into my eyes than staring at my chest. You listened. I like that."

A confidence flowed through me I hadn't experienced in a long time. We stood and I offered her my arm. She slid her hand in and we walked out. In the parking lot, I asked what type of food she preferred. Her answer was perfect: barbecue.

"Do you know Elmer's over on 18th and Pine?" I asked.

"One of my favorite places," she replied.

She followed my car to Elmer's. It was a slow night as we only had to wait 10 minutes for a table.

As we finished our brisket sandwiches, potato salad, and cole slaw, I asked, "Thanks for the compliment on eye contact. Did any of my answers stand out?"

The captivating smile appeared as she said, "Your favorite band was original. Never heard of anyone who likes the Beatles and the New York Philharmonic. Then when you said 'right now' to the question on what age did you have the most fun told me you didn't dwell on the past too much. I also liked your favorite food is 'too many to choose from.'"

"Which of my answers impressed you?"

I thought a moment then said, "The one about being a city girl or country girl and your response of being a city woman I liked very much. I totally agree the perfect Sunday is shopping at bookstores. Based on my responses, I loved that your favorite band is the London Symphony Orchestra, and the age you had the most fun is also right now. Finally, that relationship deal breaker of no communication / discussion because the guy believes he is always in charge."

"You don't find that last response threatening to your masculinity?"

"Nope. A relationship is a two way street, in my opinion."

She seemed genuinely pleased.

Her cell phone buzzed. She looked at the text message and smiled. There was a look of relief on her face.

"Good news?" I asked.

"Very," was all she said.

In the parking lot, I asked if we could see each other again. She suggested a Panera Bread nearby and we agreed to Tuesday evening at 7:00.

We were a combination of openness and caution over the next 10 dates. I learned she loves working from home as an online editor. She has one sibling but didn't say any more than that. Both parents are deceased. She was very open about her major (English) and how she got into editing. But she never said anything else about her college days. She almost qualified for an appearance on Jeopardy. She mentioned loving to read "Cozy Mysteries" then spent an hour explaining what they were and which ones she likes. No children or pets. Her favorite games are word games like Scrabble or Wordle."

By the 8th or 9th date, there seemed to be a pattern.

I asked, "You seem to have a lot of friends who happen to show up when we are out in public. And they always seem to ask me a different set of questions. How come?"

"What do you mean, Peter?"

"One inquired in depth about my job as a data analyst and seemed satisfied I knew what I was talking about. Another was intent on knowing my opinion on women in the work place especially if my boss were a woman. When I explained my boss is female, that line of questioning changed to how I felt about it (comfortable as she is a good boss) to looking at her phone and saying she had to leave as there was an appointment reminder. I remember another one getting in a deep discussion on religion and philosophy. And there was the one who seemed like a radical anarchist who refused to believe I was a moderate who tended to vote for the person rather than the party. "

She looked down at the table then this beautiful red-faced woman looked up and began a confession.

"I am part of group of women who have had crappy and I mean CRAPPY experiences with dating and relationships. We call ourselves the 'Wary Maids'. Remember that first night I followed you to Elmer's barbecue? At a stop light, I texted your license plate information to one of them who is also a police officer. She did a quick background run on your car. Your name checked out and there were no priors. That was the text message I received as we were finishing dinner and that is why I was willing to see you again. We decided if one of us asked prickly questions, the date might be more willing to show his true colors. By the way, you passed with flying colors. You are Wary Maids approved."

"That's nice to know," I chuckled. "Do I get a certificate?"

"No. But we can continue dating if you like. What gave you a hint of what might be going on?"

"First, it was an amazing set of circumstances for so many of your friends to just randomly appear. But the biggest indicator was when were introduced, they never asked about my background, place of birth, job, or any of the other pleasant ice breakers people normally use. Even though they acted like they knew nothing about me. Almost immediately they would begin their questions on a given topic then, when finished, make some excuse and leave. my training as a data analyst caused me to suspect there was a pattern."

"Hmmmmm, we may need to refine our technique," she said with a wry smile.

There were more enjoyable restaurant and movie dates. As the evening was winding down on our 12th date, we stood in the parking lot holding hands.

She asked, "Why have you not made any moves to seduce me?"

Her face indicated curiosity rather than disappointment. My reply seemed to please and surprise her.

"You mean a great deal to me, Barbara. I would rather be too cautious than too bold. I don't want to risk losing you because I thought with my penis instead of my brain."

She said, "Your patience and manners are very much appreciated. You definitely stand out among the men I have dated. Would you like dinner at my place this Friday evening?"

"I would love to," I said kissing her lips. She wrapped her arms around me then got in her car and drove off. I was walking on air.

She texted me her address Friday afternoon. I brought a bottle of wine and was at her door promptly at 7:00. Barbara invited me in. Pointing to a police officer she said, "Peter, this is Emily Jankowski. She is the one who ran the license plate check many dates ago."

Emily stood and we shook hands. Her blonde hair and piercing green eyes contrasted her dark blue uniform. She stood about 5 feet 6 inches and carried herself proudly. She appeared ageless between 30 and 50.

"Peter, I want to congratulate you on handling all the hurdles the Wary Maids put before you. I hope you two have a wonderful date tonight. But, please remember, if anything happens to Barbara, anything at all......well, let's just say you will need to be on guard for the rest of your brief remaining life."

"I understand officer Jankowski."

"Well I had better be going. Nice meeting you."

Officer Emily Jankowski let herself out.

"No pressure there," I remarked. Barbara laughed and we sat down to talk.

"Emily is like a sister to me. I happened to find her one cold evening badly bruised and beaten in an alley not far from here. She had been with an abusive date and was hospitalized for weeks. She has no family and I was the only civilian who checked in on her. After being on active duty again, she came by to thank me. We hugged, and she broke down crying. Emily confessed she was near a breaking point because she kept going over the tells or signs that would indicate how dangerous this guy was and she didn't see any. She spent the night and we decided there had to be a way to reduce the odds of dating jerks. And that is how the Wary Maids was formed. There were many more crying sessions but she seems OK now. So far, we are batting a thousand of either finding dreamboats or scum bags for out little band. Her stopping by is to say she has my back."

"What became of the bastard who beat her up?"

"She doesn't know for sure. Her fellow officers would only say the man won't be beating any woman ever again. She decided it best not to inquire further."

We enjoyed a meal of barbecue ribs, potato salad, and pecan pie. The drink was sweet tea. After helping her with the dishes, we talked for a few hours. I finally stood up and excused myself complete with an embarrassing erection. She noticed and smiled approvingly. But made no effort of asking me to stay. We kissed at the doorway and I headed home with thoughts of Barbara and what officer Jankowski might do if Barbara gave her a bad report.

The next dates were at her apartment. I stayed the perfect gentleman because she was too precious to lose. The turning point was the 15th date which was another Friday evening.

She made a delicious meal of fried salmon patties, Caesar salad, and broccoli. Dessert was a an apple pie with dollops of ice cream. After helping with the dishes, we walked hand in hand to her living room couch.

I kissed her saying, "Thanks for a perfect dinner. You are an excellent cook as well as a beautiful woman with brains. How did I get so lucky?"

She smiled demurely then a few seconds later said, "I think we are ready to take this relationship to the next level."

I looked into the eyes of the gorgeous woman curled up next to me.

"What is the next level?" I asked.

"Well, you may not understand but that bulge in your pants says your body knows."

Her fingers gently ran up and down my zipper. Before I could respond, she stood up. Never losing eye contact she unbuttoned the red long-sleeved blouse and let it drop to the floor. Then the matching bra was shed. Slowly and gracefully, she sat back down on the couch and took my hand placing it on her left breast. She was one hot 55 year old woman and I was a horny 56 year old guy.

"Gently rub and pull them, please."

I obliged while feeling her hand gauge the length of my erection. We kissed. A long passionate kiss. We moaned simultaneously. I pressed my finger into her erect nipple then moved my palm gently outward against the breast.

In an instant my hand was pushed away. She stood up covering her breasts with one arm while the other grabbed her blouse. The sexy red silk top was now a modesty shield.

"I think you had better go."

Her dark brown eyes looked frightened. Her body shook slightly.

"What did I do wrong?"

"Just go!"

"Is there something you would want to talk about?"

For a long moment she did not move. Her face calmed as her body relaxed. The standoff ended with her sitting down and burying her head in my shoulder. Then the quiet sobbing began.

"I TOLD you to rub and pull. Why in hell did you poke and push?"

The sentences were strained and came out between gasps as she cried.

"I'm sorry," I said in a defensive tone, "some kind of instinct took over. I didn't think it would matter."

My left arm slid from the top ridge of the couch to gently hug her bare shoulder. Eventually, the tears stopped.

"Dammit! I wasn't expecting this. And no, I don't want to talk about it!" she declared.

"May I hold you like we are now?"

Her silence scared me. Just as I was thinking about some kind of graceful exit Barbara spoke.

"You're not leaving?" she asked timidly while staring at the floor.

"Not unless you want me to."

"I'd like you to stay here, if you don't mind. Please know I really wanted to make love with you tonight."

"It's OK," I said. "You are definitely worth the wait."

"Thanks. I needed to hear that."

She laced her fingers through my hands and slept. I nodded off as well. Around midnight we awoke needing bathroom breaks. She went first picking up the bra and returned fully clothed. I followed nature's call and joined her on the couch. She was seated with her legs curled under her. I sat at the end furthest from her. She looked hurt.

"I'm sorry about the outburst. I promise I won't bite if we cuddle."

I stood and moved so we were together again. My hand was again clasping her left shoulder. Her hands were interlaced on her lap while the thumbs rubbed hard against each other.

Trying to lighten the mood, I said, "You might start a fire with all that thumb friction."

She chuckled then sat up so she sat on her knees facing me.

"I want to tell you why we got off to such a rocky start on what was supposed to be a beautiful night."

Wanting her to have an easy exit, I said, "If you want to share the story, I am here for you. If at any time you want to stop, that is fine. I am still here for you."

She leaned forward, brought my lips to hers and we kissed. Then she let go of my face and we looked at each other. She let out a long breath.

"I can't believe the still affects me after all these years. When I was 14, Mom and Dad got word his father had a life threatening auto accident and might not live. It was a Monday so our folks made arrangements to leave as quickly as possible which included putting my brother in charge. He was 16. Within an hour after leaving, Evan raided the fridge and downed a few beers. I was upstairs sitting on my bed reading the latest issue of 16 wearing a long night shirt and panties. I remember the radio was playing 'Physical' by Olivia Newton-John."

She paused and trembled again. A few deep breaths and she related the rest of the story including placing a knee firmly in Evans balls before anything serious happened. She looked like there was more on her mind.

"You can stop if you wish, Barbara," I said, "It's OK."

"No, I've come this far. I want to finish."

More deep breaths. After a brief pause, she shared the second event.

"It was my sophomore year in college. A friend and I were on a double date with her boyfriend and his roommate. We had some beer. The next thing I remember was waking up on a smelly, dirty mattress in some abandoned house. Gail and I were naked and tied spread eagle on the mattresses with handkerchiefs in our mouths. The 6 guys were pretty wasted. They took turns with two of them sucking our nipples and the third ramming their dicks into us. After unloading, they switched to the left. One of them didn't put his penis in but lay on top of me and did some fake thrusts. That was Gail's date, John. His eyes seemed to be pleading with me so I tried to make the same sound as though he was inside. They stood around tripping on themselves because they were too stupid to pull their pants up or take them off. One fell down next to me and spilled his beer on my breast. He then tried to wipe off the beer by pushing hard on the breast toward the mattress edge. He thought it was hilarious to see my breast jiggle back into place so he called his friends and showed them the new trick. They also thought it was hilarious. So the next cans of beer were poured on our breasts then cleaned them off with their palms. They made a game of it to see who could get the most jiggles. Poor Gail was bigger than me so she set the record. For every can they poured on us they drank two. Finally, they began collapsing and fell asleep. A few minutes after the last one fell asleep, the one who faked raping me went over to Gail and released her. Then me. All John could do on the way to the hospital was keep apologizing to Gail saying he didn't have any idea about the others. He thought it just a double date. We were examined, poked, prodded, and lost whatever dignity was left. Because we were both on the pill there was little chance of pregnancy. There were follow ups on STDs but we were lucky."

She stared at her lap.

"So when you pushed my nipple then brushed a palm across the breast, it simultaneously triggered two dark memories and I panicked."

She looked up and apologized again. She was so brave and vulnerable right now.

"Would you like to cuddle?" I whispered.

She scooted closer and lay her head on my left shoulder again. We slept like that the rest of the night. Saturday morning I woke up with this stunning woman still next to me.

"You awake?" I asked.

"For about a half-hour. Thinking how last evening triggered a

recollection from over 40 years ago. I thought I was past it. Years of therapy helped me greatly. My ex was also a problem."

"I didn't know you were married."

She released another long sigh saying, "Since I am baring my soul, then yes, I was married for 10 years. We married a couple of years after graduating college. He was aware of my past and supported me unconditionally at first. Then when one of those dark memories was triggered during foreplay, he suggested I should just get over it and move on. The relationship spiraled down and toward the end he intentionally pushed and rubbed. I asked him to stop and he said he was trying to help me get over the memories. That's when I started seeing a therapist to verify if he was right. He called it 'tough love'. The therapist called it sadistic. I shared what the therapist said and he said she was wrong. That's when I did some additional research and decided he was sadistic. We divorced soon afterward."