All Comments on 'Tru Coming Of Age'

The story is a bit all over the place...and who the heck is Angie? she pops up a few times....

There are about six chapters crammed into one here. The character of Tru shows some promise, but you need to work hard to develop her. Try taking the first episode (moving in & meeting kelly) and expand it into a stand-alone. Explore the young women & let them come to life. Let them lead you.....

Hellboy, I enjoyed your first submission. Wonder how you decided on the characters names. Did you choose them from among women you have known or possibly hope to get to know?

Since I'm a bit OCD about punctuation and grammar I had to knock off one star. I do realize the erotic content is the most important aspect though so I did enjoy it.

The length was just about right too. Longer stories tend to get me bogged down, so I appreciate how other writers break their stories up into serialized chapters.

Keep writing.