All Comments on 'True Lies - Redux Ch. 10'

It's a very interesting story.

For those people who are coming here about there just to lose weight regarding political position or views on religion for having sex please get a grip.

These are points of view not dead on facts please stop accepting message and get this writer who is doing extremely good job the break he deserves.

Troy there's a great great story keep going😊😉💥💫👌👍👍

Wow!!!!!

5/5

Well done, I can honestly say that I gasped out loud when Jennifer was hit and killed.

Excellent story so far looking forward to the conclusion.

I felt deep sadness when Jennifer died and wondered why?

@Green117

Please read the entire series which should answer most of your questions on Rachel's kind of Jewishness. I already DID cover it.

3rd person "omniscience" is a well established literary tradition. Heinlein used it a whole bunch as did David Brown in "The Da Vinci Code". I agree with you I often find the particular viewpoints expressed in those books as just - wrong. And often laughingly wrong for just being both internally inconsistent and then totally at odds with actual history - like the Jews surrounding Jesus in His time on Earth were ACTUALLY pagan Mother-Goddess worshippers? ("The Da Vinci Code") - and all those Jews back then thought nothing much special about Jesus but His "wife" - Mary - WAS special??? Why - except for "looking at history backwards" and even turning that all around on it's head!

And yes, the protagonist in this series is part of a "loose cannon" organization - but so are his antagonists.

This will be made much clearer next chapter. ;-)

Your assignment - should you choose to accept it - is to decide just WHICH loose cannon org. is more moral - and why...

There is, possibly, an interesting story here.

However, your use of third person omniscient writing is really kinda insulting. Do I have to believe your religious and political statements?

You speak of Jews - what kind? Orthodox? Conservative? Reform? West Coast, East Coat, Israeli, Russian, Askenazim or Sephardim? These are all very different people with very different attitudes and styles.

Your protagonist is a member of a group of loose cannons - have you followed the story of Oliver North? Consider the Praetorian Guard - do we really want that kind of thing to go on?

There is a story here - but the narrator and the lead characters "thinking" third person and dogmatic - lead to a stilted dramatics, and the pulpit pounding seems like tasteless filler.

If you write to teach your point of view, then let the point of view follow from the story and the character interactions, not vise versa.

However, I do thank you for your time, and hope my comments are of use.

Sincerely,

Green-something

I have only about 9 pages written in the next chapter so far. Real world and the weather is slowing me up. I brainstorm a lot while walking the trails on Kennesaw Mountain and it's been so hot and humid in Atlanta this past week when I finish my walks I'm too hot and dehydrated to get it written down.

I was blocked a bit on this next critical chapter but I think I'm through that OK.

I just want to try and finish this whole tale so that everyone feels the ending isn't a letdown.

I think I'm discovering writing a good ending is one of the real challenges of story telling. Maybe that's why so many fairy tales end as they do...

And there have been a few extremely complimentary comments here lately and I just want to acknowledge that I do continue reading all comments and I really do appreciate the positive "stroking." And for these fans especially I apologize for the bit of delay in getting this next chapter up.

Boy this story is all over the place. When will it end. Does it belong in loving wives or science friction .

Enjoying the action and adventure. Very entertainig. Looking foward to more chapters. Thanks for the effort and time you've invested.

It's a really good cartoon and it keeps me coming back for more.

For those who think it's too long: If your lips get tired, you can stop reading any time.

I've been reading all of your chapters, it's not easy to write a good spy story, there are generally a lot of characters and back story involved. I'm enjoying it thanks for your efforts.

Thought this was loving wives.

They got Jennifer... Great twist in the story! I'll keep reading.

got me on board !

Obviously I'm not referring to the story or the author but to the critics who appear to be the kind of people who manage to stumble into a fine restaurant only to get upset because they can't order a plain burger, an order of fries and a coke to go. I can sort of understand their upset the first time they sampled the fare but after they've been here ten times?

Many of the comments prove that I should have included ignorant in the title of my comment as well. Not only ignorant but willfully ignorant and determined to stay that way! Personally, I think the story is brilliantly written and love the way lessons from history adds flavor to the main course..

If you don't like a gormet meal, McDonald's or Burger King is just a click away. Please leave quietly and let those of us who appreicate what's on the menu to savor it without your silly distractions.

I can't believe you killed off Jennifer. FUCK! Well life goes on for the rest. I'm liking this story as well as the first. Keep it up my friend. *****

this story is getting interesting in the fact that u got us wondering now who is behind everything here keep writing

I am almost to the point of over-looking your stories.

Jennifer dead?

Rachel falling in lust/love with yet another man who she isn't married to?

Don't even care anymore.

You just jumped the shark.

This story has gotten too long in the tooth, it's the same thing over and over, different day same thing. Get to whatever point you are headed, I could come back to this story in a month and it would be the same thing. It's like a long train ride to no where, you just pass the same scenery over and over again.

Yeah, you're meandering a bit, but you still have me hooked.

That obviously isn't too difficult.

Like, you really had to just mention as an aside that Brad killed Harrera and then was himself killed? Like, this isn't a really very interesting or exciting part of the story, but I thought you would like to know. It appears even you can't stay focused on the story line. You have my sympathy.

And thanks so much for digressions into history and philosophy and atrophy as I try to understand why the fuck you are inserting this obscure minutia into the story. Oh, right, the plot itself is too lame to hold the attention of anyone above a 13 year old's mentality.

But thanks for the effort.

. . . too long. Come on! FTDS.

I really like the basic story but it gets bogged down occasionally with all this religious crap that is way too much. Cut it down. Not really sure how much real relevance it has to the story at hand but trim it down please.

And there I beheld a pale horse.

There's a whole lot of missed opportunities to weave in satisfying nuances and observational nuggets that pacify the reader while the author unveils his big picture. Yet the author is not riffing aimlessly, there is a ' big picture ' that tantalizes and beckons the reader into reading one installment after another. I give justbobkc props for the tight scene with Grayson and Jim.

Allie is added to the mix as Jennifer's subtracted into a crimsom pulp substrate. She deserved her own scene and a bit more of send off in my opinion. I like the helter skelter vibe overall, but still wish that Jim would touch base with Rachel briefly.

This was a good installment , it could have been a great one if Jennifer hadn't been omitted from the game with no more emotion then a grandmaster sacrifices an obstructing pawn. She deserved just a bit more of the aformentioned send off. I do confess to admiring how justbobkc cheekily inserts the history apertifs between the contemporary faceoffs , subterfuge and mayhem.

Thanks to the author for sharing.

This is no longer a cheating wife tale. Rachel is now a minor character and I don't know that anyone truly cares whether they divorce or reconcile at this point.

The whole espionage thing is fine but I feel like you are throwing a few small crumbs of story padded with tons of ancillary historical rumination. Your story would be roughly 40% of its current size if you actually focused on the story and not all of the historical and religious pontificating. Your choice, but it doesn't make for pleasurable reading. Just saying.

Okay, constructive criticism. All your characters sound the same and do the same historical retrospective thing. Jim, Rachel, Jennifer, Grayson, and now the Israeli? They're all students of history and prone to ramble incessantly about it in the middle of tense situations?

And no one in the history of the world ever said, "I thought of Roman Emperor Theodosius..." Not even to themselves. Writing this stuff may be interesting to some, but in reality it pulls the reader out if the story.

Time for our hero to start sending some scumbags to the great here after. Been a sort of nice guy for too long now.

Your writing chops just ain't big enough to handle this. You're ambitious, I'll give you that, but the story isn't good enough to justify this endless roll. It isn't bad, just overblown and out of gas.

this chapter have such a low rating? Makes no sense. Very good story. Fascinating. I love all the history detail. Thanks.

a continual shell game with no pea. TK U MLJ LV NV on a personal note....Good stories that are ongoing can not receive proper ratings, since there will be lulls and excitement and boring activities, mlj lv nv

...before our self-appointed censors find their heads exploding in frustration at not being able to force you to post 'your' story in whichever category 'they' decide is proper. Or even worse, my head explodes when they are successful.

Really liking this.

If all the other 98 percent B.S. of this past week is here in LW, then why not an actual good story ?

Please keep going justbobkc.

time to finish this

killing off jenn sucks.

Post in NON EROTIC PLEASE

again very enjoyable 5

Time to wrap it up.

End it already, you're just dragging it out for the sake of dragging it out.

Keep it coming..shorten delays!!

Because it started as a Cheating Wife Story, And you always try to keep the story in the same category so it can be followed. when you start jumping around like a few submitter s do people loose track of the story and never see how it ends. Great chapter sorry to read about Jim's old friend departing the story but I hope this promotes more help coming from various agency's, to take down these dirt bags.

this chapter again 5*

K

Why isn't this in the long boring novels category? When is someone going to write something interesting?