All Comments on 'True Love Ch. 01'

First story!

4

Where's this going. Not much of a story yet.

So Susan is a snake...

With friends like her she needs no enemies.

I think we are in for a verrrry verrry sloooooooooow burn.

And then you seen to chop it into very short chapters.

Boring.

Well, we know where this is going since it said “part 1”. Who needs friends huh???

First story, so I wanted to give you a break. But this is waaay too short to break into multiple releases. It also has no real hook to hold interest for what comes next. I sure hope all chapters are written because I’ll completely forget this in a day or two. Your first work should have been a single, complete post so readers could see your style and hopefully appreciate what you bring to the table enough to follow you. For now, I gave you 3 *. I’ll change it if the following chapters change my impression - hopefully for the better.

Look at the tags. It’s NTR and manipulation. Basically Susan will turn Milena against Tim.

Well this was strewn with sugar and flowers.😁

Susan is obviously evil.

Is this to be multipart, or is that it?

If you've written 1400 words, and the story isn't done, don't post, keep writing.

This was obvious, going in the direction of another stupid black cock mess. The same thing done over and over and over again. At least the black women interracial stories tend to show them treated with respect.

????

Way to trite and syrupy for me.

She loves him now but the other bitch wants her to try the big black clown. BTW you picked a couple of LW’s biggest stereotypes in DeShawn and Marcus. Was Jamal back in jail?

This author seems to fit in with many others here, thinking readers can’t read good and can only digest one or two pages at a time. It’s insulting and below the belt…I agree the average person is dumb, but we all can read more than a page or two at a time. Please consider this with your future stories, and post the story in its entirety.

True loving wife story so far so good

The snake wife's "friend" is ready to give her the poisoned apple, and the poor "eva" is going to eat the whole fruit, peel and seeds included.

Which category will be better for this cuck-ntr tale ? Exhibitionist & Voyeur (4.5+ *) ? Or Interracial (4.5+ *) ? Or this Loving wives (3.5*) ?

The title does give away that this is or should be, a multi part story, PrincessNutNut. As to the story, it is rather nauseating and Susan does sound like she's got this Marcus lined up to fuck with the marriage. If the writing doesn't improve in the next chapter, I think I'll be stopping, if I remember to read it. As others have remarked, we can read alot more than 1400 words in a story and multiple chapters can be a pain in the arse! I also don't vote until the end of the story, so no vote on this chapter!

Dobbin55

Hey 26THNC-that line re Jamal not being available because he was back in jail-made me literally

laugh out loud-so funny-now when I read Deshawn/Marcus/Jamal 's name I'll always be lol-thx

These story parts are too short-once you're into the story, it's time to wait for the next part.

Dare

"Hey Tim, I hope you packed your swim trunks." - He's just asking that now, when they're on their way to the beach?

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"You're right. I just... want the best for her." - And why wouldn't that be Tim?

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@Anonymous, never mind "one or two pages," this is barely half a page, if that.

Nausiating, overly descriptive on their love, got old real quick and typical DeShawn, Marcus...do any of you writers not have ANY other names? I bet Jamal will turn up at some point.

Just smells fishy.