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Click hereShe smoothed the wrinkles out of her blouse as she looked at a smiling, innately satisfied woman she almost didn't recognize. Switching off the main lights, Julia left the room, excited to see the amazing man she called her husband, best friend and lover yet again, and very anxious find out what he had retrieved from his suitcase.
*****
Thanks for reading my first story! I'd really appreciate it if you'd take a moment to vote and comment; your constructive feedback is invaluable and will help me please you more in the future. Please leave your e-mail address if you'd like a response, and I'll do everything I can to get back to you quickly!
Constructively....there are some rough patches, transitions and under developed points in your story. But it is also a very sultry look into your story telling style. Cheers!!
This needs a score higher than 5. The best story I have read on Literotiva. Wonderful buildup, fantastic descriptions, and the perfect ending with them being husband and wife. Loved it. MORE!
...wonderful, erotic, well written engaging story.
Thanks for sharing.
So well written and luscious. Why have there been no more? You paint so well and beautifully......
Impressive first publish. Wonderfully erotic and worth staying to the end.
Having been a magazine editor for seven years, I will never dispute the value of good editors and beta readers, but they can't infuse writing talent where none exists. 99% of the credit is yours, so take a well-deserved bow!
Wow! I have read many stories written by pros that weren't nearly as good. I 'm especially impressed by the way you fleshed out Julia and made her seem real. It's not hard for readers to suspend their disbelief. I hope to read many more of your stories in the future
I think your writing is extremely sexy. I loved it, although I had to skip a good bit because I was too aroused. You really do a great job of providing details. You should write more, many more stories.
This story was written in '06...I want to know what's in his suitcase! There's so many unknowns...are they married? just dating? is she his mistress? which anniversary was it? does he like the chocolates?
It's a fabulous story, but it needs a part 2 or conclusion. I feel like I'm being left hanging off a clift! Argh...so frustrating! ;)
Still...GREAT story!
Loved it. Very sensual writing. You can always tell when a woman writes a story. Fantastic build-up.....:)
I am glad I had a chance to read to the end and appreciate more than your well chosen words but also the meaning.
That story builds up inside you as you read and it is very easy to imagine yourself as the air they breathe.
Was that a big effort or are you just busy?
I've always found this piece to be exquisite, and a joy to read over and over. This is pure erotica, a delicate balance of sensuality and rawness - thank you!
i absolutely loved your story! the details made me feel arousal as in a tender, feminine way i have never felt before. i truly appreciate your writing