Truly an Odd Family

Standard Disclaimers: Any and all characters are purely figments of my imagination. If a real life person's name is used, its for authenticity. If partaking in sexual stuff, they are over 18 years of age. If I mention a city in these United States, please use a map to learn that I have spelled the city correctly! Starts slowly, but it does build up.

My name is Woodrow Chandler, Jr. I am 39 years old, and after working at the same job for 17 years, or should I say 17 seasons, I am now entering a full retirement.

I just completed my 17th season in the NFL, when most 'experts' thought I'd never play one game. I guess I fooled them! In the 272 games played, in those 17 seasons, I appeared in 271, missing only one game, to be with my wife for the birth of our first child.

Let me give you all a little back story, if I may. I was born and raised in Havre, Montana. Yes, in high school, I was a Blue Pony. My high school mascot.

I was the third child of Woodrow, Sr, and Hazel Chandler. Both my older siblings were girls, so my pop sort of spoiled me. Don't get me wrong, I worked my ass off, getting to where I am, today.

In high school, I played a sport every season. Football is what I was best at, standing almost 6'3" and topping just over 200 pounds, my senior year.

Colleges weren't exactly beating down my door, so when Idaho State offered me a scholarship, I jumped at the opportunity. Pocatello, Idaho was an upgrade from Havre, so off I went.

I played all four years, starting the last two seasons as an outside linebacker. I had bulked up to 225, without losing any speed. I did have some pro scouts looking at me, but they all said they would wait until after the draft, so they could save money, signing me to a free agent contract.

The Denver Broncos, did just that. I wound up playing there for 11 seasons, mainly becoming a special teams star, as well as the back up strong safety.

Right after my second season, I met, fell in love with and married Susan Bell. Just a whisp of a girl, 5'2" and maybe 115 on a good day. We made odd couple, number one, in my life.

Our sex life was off the charts. She and I did almost everything, in every imaginable position. The only thing she would not allow, due to my size was anal. Suzie drew the line saying that my thick eight plus inches just wasn't going into her back door.

With everything you can think of being in our play book, I didn't complain. There were several occasions when one or two of my fingers found their way into her forbidden region.

Just about 2 years into our marriage, Donna Chandler was born, and 18 months later Bonnie Chandler joined our band of Chandlers.

For the next 3 or 4 years, as my standing in the league improved, our love life seemed to be headed into the crapper.

If Suzie didn't claim to be too tired, the kids were horrible, or some other half assed excuse, I didn't feel like begging, or fighting.

Just after our eighth anniversary, I sensed something else was happening. She seemed to get even more defensive when I asked if we were still good, even though I knew we weren't. I started hearing whispers in my own locker room, that one of my teammates might be making a play for my wife.

I actually confronted Donnel Jarvis, one of our star running backs. At first, he denied everything, but when I confronted my wife, she broke down in tears, admitting to a seven month affair.

"Except for a bigger paycheck, what does he have that I don't" I calmly asked.

Shrugging her shoulders, she told me at first she just wanted to see how sex would be with a black man.

I couldn't believe this shit. I never denied her one thing.

When I cornered Donnel, he tried talking his way out of it, but I told him what my wife had said. He did admit to it, but when I asked him if he was going to marry her after our divorce, he replied, "Fuck, no!"

That's all I needed to take with me to the divorce lawyer I found.

When we met for the first time, I asked for primary custody. When her lawyer asked why, I played Donnel's reply about marriage, which caused a flood of tears from my soon to be ex wife.

After much negotiating, Suzie got custody during football season, and I got custody the remainder of the year.

I did go to our team's management and quietly told them if Jarvis stayed, I was gone.

The following week, I became a Seattle Seahawk. I guess even after 10 seasons, the brass kept the running back, and dumped the back up safety, and special teams star.

On to Seattle, a city I had never been to, except to play football, but I knew I was going to a very good team, on the rise. I also fit in very well with my new teammates.

Coming off a nasty divorce, I shied away from dating. It wasn't due to a lack of opportunity, as there were locker room groupies in every city I played in.

After a year of abstinence, I did hook up on the road, more than once, always using protection, even when the girl would tell me it wasn't necessary. Bullshit, I would think to myself.

My second season in Seattle, I fell into a perfect 'gotcha' moment. Our home opener was against the Broncos. While warming up, most of my old teammates greeted me very warmly. With one notable exception. Yep, Donnel Jarvis. The asshole wouldn't acknowledge my presence on the field. Late in the first quarter, he felt my presence. He was returning a punt, and running at full speed, I hit him directly just under his shoulder pads, so hard his helmet flew about 10 yards behind him. When he didn't get up, I just jogged back to my sideline, with the home crowd going nuts. He missed the next four games. Boo fucking hoo.

I was told, later, that this reminded the Seahawk faithful of two plays in 1988, involving Hall of Famer, Steve Largent and Mike Hardin of the Broncos.

Early in the season, at Mile High Stadium, Largent was going out for a pass, and Hardin hit him so hard, it cracked a tooth.

Back at The Kingdome, later in the season, Hardin intercepted a pass, and like a rocket Largent threw himself into Hardin so hard, it took the training staff 10 minutes to get Hardin back to the sideline, and directly to a hospital.

I was told that the noise ranked among the top 5 in the 25 year history of the stadium.

As my third season was moving into the playoffs, I quietly began thinking, what if? Hawks, Broncos in Super Bowl 48?

It became a reality. I did convince my ex to let my daughters go to the game, and they got to witness the greatest Seahawk win, ever. 44 to 8 over that asshole's Denver team.

Right after that game, the Broncos released Donnel Jarvis.

Back to me. During my last three seasons, I started planning for my future. I started making what turned out to be some very good investments. I also started dating, a little more, but just couldn't find a lady who wanted anything from me, except my money.

I did have more than a few dates that ended up in either hers or my bed, but nothing that ever rose to the level of marriage.

Before my final season, which I had announced my retirement, I purchased a fitness gym, not too far from where I lived. I figured I needed to keep myself in shape, and this seemed the best way.

While waiting for training camp to start, I would visit most every day, just to see how it was running. During the morning and afternoon sessions, most of the customers were women. Both young professionals and some older, soccer mom types.

Before any of you get ideas in your head, I was not scouting out date material.

There was one lady who would work out at least 3 or 4 times a week. Hard to judge her age, but she would be picked up by one of two look alike daughters, each with children with them.

They all seemed very nice, and I did see what seemed like sons in law, too. One evening, I was doing some paperwork in my office when I heard some yelling by the weight machines.

When I went to check, I saw an older man yelling at this lady, with her family trying to push him away. I yelled at the top of my voice for everyone to knock it off!

All eyes turned to look at me, approaching quickly. This guy looks at me and says, "she is my wife, and she's coming with me!"

"I'm your EX WIFE, you shithead, now leave me alone!"

He reached out and tried grabbing her arm. Big mistake.

"Take your hand off of her, or I'll break your arm!" I hollered.

That got everyone's attention.

"Ma'am, stand behind me. Now, Mr. do you want to spend a night in county lockup? I strongly suggest you leave, and never come back."

Both young couples thanked me and moved to their mother/mother in law's side to calm her down.

I introduced myself, but before I got very far, she told me she knew who I was, as her kids were big fans. Her oldest grandson, maybe 5 or so, came up to me and grinned a big hello, and called me Mr. Chandler.

I told all of them to call me Woody, which put them all at ease. Her family all left, leaving just us two, when she finally told me her name was Sandy Cohen. She must have thanked me a dozen times, before going back to the locker room to change.

"Woody, will you still be here, when I finish up, back there?"

"Do you want me to be?" I said with a grin.

Blushing, she just nodded.

As she disappeared, I started to take notice of her. Maybe early 50's. Tall, maybe 5'8 or 9" Not thin, but built sturdy as my dad used to say. I do admit that in the several weeks I had watched her work out, she had dropped a few pounds, which made her large chest seem even larger.

When she came out of the locker room, I asked if she wanted to join me for my typical late dinner. Since it was only 7:00 in the evening, she agreed.

Before our meals were served to us, she quickly told me she was nearing her 50th birthday, and not looking forward to it. She also told me she had been divorced for nearly six months, and her ex was still was pissed that she had a better lawyer than he did.

I did tell her about my two daughters, now 15 and 13 and a half years old. I also told her they lived with their mother in Denver during the season.

She told me about her two girls, 28 and 26 years old, both married, the oldest with 2 kids, and the youngest expecting her second in about 3 months.

When she mentioned again her 50th was just around the corner, I told her my 40th was, too. Turns out our birthdays were in the same week.

I looked at my watch and noticed we had been in the restaurant nearly two hours. This was the first time in years, I found a woman so easy to talk with.

As we got up to leave, I walked her to her car, and just as she unlocked her door, I leaned down and gently kissed her very soft lips. Looking into her deep brown eyes, I moved in for a second, even softer kiss.

"Woody, I best stop before I do something I might regret, in the morning. And thank you for the most enjoyable evening."

Smiling, I told her if she needed any work out tips, just ask.

I almost called her when I got home, but just as I was thinking about it, my phone pinged, and the incoming text was just this huge smiley face from Sandy, thanking me again for the lovely evening and chasing her ex away.

Over the next few weeks, with training camp on the horizon, I built up my nerve and asked her to dinner.

"Um, Woody, I've been talking with my kids, and, um I have something I need to talk to you about."

This sounded serious to me, so I told her to ask anything.

She couldn't look me in the eye, and after a few deep breaths, started getting her voice working.

"My kids have a friend who happens to cover your team for the Tacoma newspaper. And she told them she has seen you. In the locker room. Nearly naked!"

"And, I take it she was fairly descriptive?"

Nodding, she still couldn't look me in the eyes.

"Sandy, I'm asking you to dinner, not for an overnighter. Even though it had crossed my mind."

"That's what my kids told me, but..."

"Sandy, its just dinner, and some conversation, and yes I am fairly well endowed, if that's what you're asking."

After another five minutes of silence, she finally agreed to dinner.

I took her to one of the areas finer restaurants, that just happened to be a favorite of mine. Just talking about our kids during dinner really got my mind thinking. Yes, she was 10 years older than me. We had both felt the sting of divorce, neither of which was our faults. I told her with my training camp starting, my dating time would be limited, especially when I would be on the road.

She told me she fully understood, as our talking veered back to our kids.

Driving home, she didn't say a word. As we arrived at her condo, I looked her in the eyes and softly told her how much I enjoyed the evening, and if she wanted to leave it at that, I understood.

Every so often, all evening, she would wince, as if a muscle was bothering her. Walking her to the door, I had my hand lightly on her shoulder, when she winced, again. I asked her if she pulled something while at my gym, recently, and she just nodded.

I stood in back of her, and very gently started rubbing each shoulder. She let out a very contented sigh, and whispered, right there, Woody.

"Should we go inside, or shall I give you a massage out here?"

Opening her front door, we walked inside, taking our coats off.

"Let me get into something a bit more practical, and I'll be back in a few minutes."

Sitting down, I saw a very nice arm chair that would be perfect for me to give her a nice shoulder rub.

A few minutes later, she reappeared, wearing a fluffy robe and slippers, and what I assumed was some sort of nightgown, underneath. She still looked a bit weary, but I convinced her to sit in her chair.

Moving behind her, I moved the robe off her shoulders, giving me access to her aching shoulders and neck. As my hands kneaded her sore muscles, I heard several contented sighs. When I used both thumbs up and down her neck, she started a soft humming sound.

With both my hands easing the tension in her shoulders, I was content to hear her soft humming while the kinks in each shoulder seemed to fade away.

Sandy leaned her head back, letting her robe open just enough for me to get a glimpse of her fairly large breasts. No bra in sight, so I moved my hands from the top of her shoulders downward ever so slowly.

"Woody, you can rub a little lower," she whispered.

My fingers softly rubbed the tops of her breasts, and encountering no resistance, gently touched both nipples.

"More, Woody."

Taking each breast into my large hands, filling both hands, I could feel her breathing start to get a bit louder. Both nipples were as hard as granite, with my thumb and forefinger rolling them both ever so gently.

"Shall we go into your bedroom, Sandy?"

She just nodded, and with my assistance, moved as one, stopping for several very deep kisses.

Off came her fluffy robe. Off came my shirt, pants and briefs.

"Holy shit, Woody, be very careful."

Moving her nightgown over her head, leaving her in just her panties, we moved onto her bed.

I started kissing each nipple. Down her tummy. Running one finger up and down her very wet pussy. My tongue quickly replaced my finger, licking up and down, very slowly.

Coaxing her clit out of hiding, her body was already shaking, as her orgasm shook the entire bed.

"Oh, my fucking goodness, Woody, oh my God."

Moving up her body holding her in my arms and kissing her softly, I waited for her body to stop shaking. With her face buried in my neck, I thought I heard her softly crying.

"Are you OK?"

"Woody, I haven't cum like that in 20 years, if ever."

"Can you give me a few minutes before we go any further?"

I just nodded, as I felt her hand gripping my semi hard nearly 9 inches.

"Are you positive, Sandy?"

All I heard was uh hum, as her hand slowly moved my foreskin down and felt her lips on the head of my cock.

"Be patient, Woody, I'm not very experienced at this."

Experienced, or not, she got my attention, quickly. She only got two or three inches in her mouth, but it sure felt very good. Up and down a few more times, the she whispered for me to let her get on top, to be in control.

As my throbbing cock entered her very wet sex, I gripped both her hips and helped her up and down. Within a few minutes, her entire body was shaking, and her moaning was so loud, I'm glad she didn't have close neighbors.

We both were so ready to burst, that just a few more thrusts, and I exploded, deep inside of her. She just fell onto my chest panting, and saying my name, over and over.

When she moved off of me, she could barely move. After softly kissing her lips, cheeks and both closed eyes, I helped her off the bed and into the bathroom.

When we returned to bed, she laid in my arms, and we just stared at each other. Every few seconds, I would kiss her ever so softly.

"I hope you know, that I've never dealt with something like that, before. Both in size and not being circumcised."

"Are you OK?"

"Oh, yes, a little sore, but in a very good way. I have to tell you that my daughters both told of that possibility, so I looked online to learn how to deal with, you know, a foreskin."

Wow, there isn't much you can't learn from the Internet.

Deciding to forgo a second round, we quickly fell asleep.

As we were eating breakfast, my phone buzzed, with both my daughters on the line. This was our ritual, every Sunday morning, unless I was on a road game, or in training camp.

I knew that the following Friday was Donna's 16th birthday, but on this call, she just didn't seem to be her usually bubbly self.

"Hey, Donna, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Daddy."

Just as I was about to ask more questions, I heard a tiny baby cry.

"Uh, Donna, who's baby is that crying?"

Silence.

"Donna!"

"Daddy, its our new brother," Bonnie yelled out.

"Half brother," Donna corrected.

"Name?"

"Um, dad, please know that we had to talk mom out of naming him Woodrow the third, so he is Lawrence. Chandler."

"Is he Lawrence Goodwin's son?" Goodwin being the newest hot shot running back for the Broncos. 23 years old and from what I had heard, quite full of himself.

"I guess he and your mother are not getting married." It was a statement, not a question.

"We don't think so, he hasn't been around for the last month before little Lawrence was born."

"Thanks, girls, I've got to run, and get some business done."

Sandy heard all this, and had a calming hand and one of my shoulders.

"What are you going to do, Woody?"

"Well, I have a few emails to send, and we are going to Denver in four weeks, during our bye week, for a visit. You can meet my girls."

I made a few phone calls, sent several emails, and when I calmed down, the next day, I called my daughters and asked if Lawrence had stayed overnight, with them in the house.

When neither of them answered, I told them both, they weren't in any trouble. They very reluctantly told me he had, but their mother made sure he was hidden out of sight. Both girls told me the noises they heard were a dead give away.

With a week off, during the season, a bye week, I took Sandy to Denver to visit my girls. And, hopefully, take away my ex wife's parental rights.

Getting to our hotel, late Friday night, my phone was already burning up with calls and texts from my ex. I responded to none of them.

Monday morning, meeting with a family court Judge, I was really hoping she wouldn't show.

When the Judge entered, I asked for a moment, before he started.

"Your Honor, I would like you to issue an arrest warrant for Lawrence Goodwin, as he was subpoenaed, and he isn't here."

Before he could answer Goodwin walked in like he was King Shit.

"Mr. Goodwin, did your alarm not wake you in time?"

"No, your Honor, it won't happen again." He turned and glared at me, but I showed absolutely no emotion.