Trunks Not Needed Ch. 03

Chapter 3: The Journey Home

It was now 9 am. The morning sun had emerged and it was a beautiful day. It was the kind of day that would be perfect to talk a walk in the park in. Not too cold, not too hot. Perfect weather to do most anything. Go swimming, go hiking, even walk around naked.

...ok, maybe not that last one. But one poor unlucky guy had no choice in that matter. After sobbing at his recent string of bad luck in a bush near the outskirts of town, he decided that it would be better to get going then to just cry about his public nudity.

At least he had a bit of cover with that sweat rag that those horrible jogging women gave him. So, after wiping away his tears, he peeked out of the bush, took a step forward and....immediately heard a ripping sound. The rag snagged on a branch and tore in half. Great. With nothing more than his hands to cover his itty bitty shame, he set off.

Not wanting someone else to catch him walking down the sidewalk, he instead took to the woods. It provided plenty of cover and no one ever really ventured down that path, because it was easy to get lost. But he knew that all you had to do was go straight and eventually he'd get into the city.

How he'd get through all that city to his house was a bridge he'd cross when he got there, but for now, he marched his naked butt towards home.

As he walked through the densely packed forest path, the rocks and dirt felt uncomfortable on his feet and he could swear that the trees themselves were poking and prodding him like they were alive and taking joy in his nudity. He always hated hiking and of course doing it naked did little to change his opinion.

Soon though, the cover of trees ended and he was standing before a large field of flowers. It had no cover other then said field, aside from the trees that were behind him. Seeing no one around for miles he dashed into the field and ducked down.

Slowly standing up to look around much better, he saw no one for miles. Just him and a seemingly endless field. He stood around for bit, expecting someone to pop out of nowhere and make fun of him again. No one. It was quiet as all he could hear was the gentle breeze and the rustling of the flowers as he walked.

The flowers covered him from the waist down so eventually he uncovered, letting his little rosebud bounce free in the flowers. He took in his surroundings.

The sun was fully out and it was warming his body but otherwise wasn't too hot. The breeze was flowing all over him, but it wasn't too chilly. The flowers were also gently brushing against his "stamen", which felt just right.

As it started to perk up, he started to wonder what was wrong with him. Just a few hours ago, he was utterly humiliated and ashamed of his nudity, but now he was getting excited and feeling confident again, just like his earlier skinny dipping session. At least until that horrible girl caught him.

As he got to full mast, his breathing quickened and he uncrossed his arms and just started running with his arms in the air. He was streaking! From skinny dipping to streaking, he must be becoming an exhibitionist or something. But at this point in time, he didn't care. He ran full sprint, frolicking through the flowers. His little dick flopping around, his butt jiggling without restraint, he felt like he was one with nature!

He closed his eyes and just felt the breeze between his knees. With a big smile on his face as well as a massive blush, he couldn't believe how naughty he was being. It was liberating, running nude without a care in the world. All those cares seemed to have blown away in the breeze. He almost considered shouting in jubilation of his newfound freedom but decided against it cause he was pushing his luck as it is.

He felt free! He felt fully confident! He felt so alive! He felt...

"OH MY GOD! LOOK, IT'S A STREAKER!"

....like an idiot. He opened his eyes and realized that the field was very far behind him and in front of him was the park. The good news is that park is very close to the street he'd have to go down to get to his house. The bad news is that apparently today was the day the birdwatchers club met to search out and capture birds on film.

Right now, about a dozen cameras were aiming right at his little birdy, standing proud as he ran in front of them. The clicking of the cameras finally brought the message that he needed to cover up to his brain and he brought his hands down and ran as fast as he could through the crowd.

As he ran, many of the birdwatchers (who were mostly female, because of course) took the time to chase after him, catching his bouncing buns and little pecker on film. Comments about his wiggling worm and how they could use it to lure in more birds. He very much did not like that idea and tried to keep away from their cameras.

He hid in an alleyway just on the outskirts of the park and tried to find a hiding spot. All he saw was garbage. He quickly emptied one of the cans and hopped right in, just as they ran past the alley.

It smelled terrible and was quite gross, but it was absolutely preferable to being ogled by all those people. He was definitely going to have to take a shower once he got home....IF he got home. He realized that the alleyway connects to the busiest part of town.

This spot was where all the businesses were located, everyone did their shopping, took their lunch break or even just hung out. Even the stealthiest of ninjas wouldn't be able to sneak around all the crowds that were there and he was definitely no ninja. He had to find something to wear. Anything. But the only thing around him, as previously established was trash, as well as some old cardboard boxes.

Perhaps he could empty one of the bags and use it as a poncho? He got out of the can and ripped open one of the bags, but the smell alone made him almost puke. Even in his unclothed state, he'd rather go naked than smell like THAT. Maybe he could use one of the cardboard boxes as cover?

He searched through the various boxes. Most of the were either ripped into shreds that were too small to use as cover, too disgusting and filthy or both! But finally he found a box that was just the right size for him to cover up and that was relatively clean.

It looked like it was once an economy sized box of Vienna sausages.

"Really?" he thought to himself, "Is this really the only thing I got?"

All the predictable jokes about his own Vienna sausage went through his mind, but ultimately, it was this or his hands and he'd rather take his chances with the box then run out there with nothing.

He put his legs through the bottom of the packaging and pulled them up like they were a pair of shorts. They were a bit snug on his backside, but ultimately, it fit, as long as he held it up.

With his new attire, if you really want to call it that, he walked towards the end of the alleyway and into the business district. His heart was pounding, he immediately got some funny looks as they saw this guy wearing what only looked like a box and nothing else.

He froze as a few people stared. Every cell in his body was screaming to just run and hide again. Perhaps maybe he could live in the garbage forever. No, he needed to get out of here, but maybe if he just pretended that nothing was wrong, they'd go about their business and leave him alone.

He took a couple of deep breaths and just walked. Staring straight ahead and not even looking around. He was shaking like a leaf and was breaking out into a cold sweat as he heard a few people start giggling at his new fashion statement. As he was about to get to an intersection, he saw a group of girls, turn the corner right towards him!

Both parties were sure surprised, but the girls were more so. At that moment, his legs locked up as they walked towards him with big smiles on their faces. He felt like he was about to pass out. To keep from panicking, he tried to convince himself that this was completely normal.

He kept thinking to himself, "I am wearing clothes. This box is considered clothing. I am not naked. No one can see anything. I am covered. This is completely normal."

He kept repeating that over and over as he slowly started walking again.

As the girls got closer to him they started following him instead of wherever it was they were originally going.

"Well, hello there. Nice day for a walk isn't it?"

"Love the outfit you got there."

"Hehe, what an adorable package you have there. Can I take a peek inside?"

He tried to ignore them and quickened his pace just a bit to try and get away, but the box was already straining to keep him covered, due to a combination of movement and sweat. As he got to the crosswalk, he was forced to stop to wait for the moment to pass safely.

"Are we shy, cutie?"

"He's turning sooooo red."

"I sure could go for a Vienna sausage right now. How about the rest of you?"

The other ladies agreed with a few of them even licking their lips like he was just a snack for the hungry lionesses that surrounded their prey. He kept tapping that crosswalk button like his life depended on it. But then one of the ladies got bold and put her hand into the box and gently started pulling it down.

That's when our protagonist decided to just run without even checking for the cars. He kept repeating that mantra to himself, but even with that he couldn't block out all the crude jokes and cat calls.

He just kept hearing things like "Is that package addressed to me? I'll sign for it." and "Hey sexy, can I have some of that sausage of yours?" and "LOOK OUT! THERE'S A CAR COMING!" and.....hang on what was that last one?

*HONK HONK*

He turned to look and sure enough a car was coming at him! He leaped forward just in the nick of time to prevent himself from becoming roadkill. That was close, but as he got back up to his feet, he realized there was a casualty. He felt a breeze in the back of the box he was wearing.

No....there was no way.

He felt the back of his "outfit" and sure enough all he felt was himself.

"Whoooo! Nice ass, cutie!"

"Looks like there was some cake in that box."

"Shake it, boy!"

"I didn't know the moon came out this early."

"What I wouldn't give to grab a handful of that. Rawr."

As he turned the other cheek(s) and covered them up with a big blush on his other cheeks, he sheepishly smiled and backed away. Maybe a bit of humor will make them go away.

"Well, this has been fun ladies, but I have to get going now.

Nothing to see, you can go back to whatever it was you were up to."

But then as he got to the other side, he noticed that a crowd was forming, right in the middle of the intersection. It started to surround him and block any routes he might've had for an escape as well as traffic.

At first, the other people in traffic were angry, but then they saw what was actually holding things up and looked on in glee as they rolled down their windows to tease this naked guy's big squishy moon.

"Ok, so they've seen your butt, big deal..." he thought to himself, trying to find the positive in this situation, "...at least the front of the box is still-"

As if right on cue, the box finally had enough and fell down. It even fell apart at the seams, insuring that no part of it was useful as cover!

He felt his dick bounce into the open, with his hands still on his buttocks. A simultaneous gasp came from the crowd forming around him. For a brief period, silence....and then, the crowd went wild!

"OH MY GOD! HAHAHAHAHA"

"I WAS RIGHT, THERE WAS A VIENNA SAUSAGE IN THERE!"

"IT LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE SMOKIE!"

"IT'S SOOOOOO SMALL!"

"Heh, I told you his package was adorable."

"They don't look as big as they do on the box, do they?" with that last girl even wiggling her pinky finger just to rub it in.

He stood there in disbelief, with that deer in the headlights look.

"This...this can't be real. I can't be naked in the middle of town, in front of hundreds of people, most of them women. This is a nightmare. A bad dream. Any moment now, I'll wake up in a cold sweat and be in my room, in bed, wearing my pjs....

...Yup....any second now..."

He started to panic.

"....Any time now.....please?"

He started to frantically pinch himself in various places, but no matter how hard he pinched. He was still there. He was still being mocked and laughed at by hundreds of women due to being completely naked. This was real. 100% real. His nudity, the cameras, the laughter, his complete and utter humiliation. IT WAS ALL REAL!

Time seemed to slow down for him. What felt like hours of him standing there, dumbfounded with his fear shrunken cock on display for this laughing crowd was in reality, just a few seconds.

He finally covered up, but his legs were still locked in place. He looked around for any sympathy from the crowd. There was none, just a sea of pinky fingers wiggling around, thumb and forefingers being brought closer together, cameras clicking and videos being recorded and a cacophony of laughter and jokes at his expense.

"My life is over...", he thought to himself, "...between all this and whatever Rina managed to capture, my humiliation is going viral.

Everyone knows what I look like naked, everyone knows that my penis is small, they'll never ever let me live this down! It can't possibly get much worse than this!"

It can always get worse, you'd think he'd know that by now.

"FREEZE DIRTBAG!"

Both the naked guy and the crowd turned to look at whoever that was. It was a policewoman ("OF COURSE IT'S A WOMAN, WHY WOULDN'T IT BE!?", thought the lad, cursing whatever cruel god happens to be doing this to him), who was rapidly approaching him.

"Well, what have we here? Did we forget our clothes today or did you just want to show off in front of all these people here?"

He tried to stammer out an answer but he couldn't find any coherent words.

"ANSWER ME, PUNK!"

A few of the girls in the crowd thought it would be funny to make this worse on him.

"Thank goodness you're here! This young man was streaking around asking people about his sausage and mooning us all!"

"Yeah, and he has a concealed weapon between his hands!"

"Sir is this true?"

"N-no, they're lying! I just lost my clothes while skinny dipping and-"

"Skinny dipping? That's public indecency! Not to mention you're running around here naked in broad daylight. That's public nudity. I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to take you in."

"Take me in!? No, please, I swear I wasn't doing this on purpose, this was all just a misunderstanding I swear!"

"Ladies, was this man truly embarrassed or was he flaunting himself?"

He looked around, hoping that someone would back him up on this. Those hopes, like many of his others today, were dashed.

"He was walking around wearing nothing but a box of Vienna Sausages, with a big smile on his face."

"Yeah, he then ripped it off in the middle of the street and stood there with his hands on ass for a good minute."

"It's true, we got video proof."

The cop looked back at the shivering naked guy in the middle of the street. At this point in time, he's starting to think that he would've liked the car to hit him instead of this.

"So one of these women here says you're concealing a weapon in your hands. What kind is it?"

Before he could say there was no weapon, the crowd started naming off various small weapons.

"A peashooter!"

"A shiv!"

"A Swiss Minigun C1ST!"

Everyone turned to look at the one said that. "....google it."

"Well sir, I'd better check what kind of heat your packing there. Put your hands up and show me."

"Please officer, just let me go. I-"

"I said, put your hands up."

"Just give me something, anything to wear."

"Oh, you'll get something to wear. A nice comfy orange prison jumpsuit. PUT YOUR HANDS UP NOW!"

"NO. I CAN'T. IT'S TOO EMBARRASSING!" he screamed, starting to cry.

She then pulled out a stun gun, and pointed it right at him!

"FINAL WARNING, HANDS UP OR ELSE!"

Scared out of his mind and really not wanting to be tazed, he closed his eyes and threw his hands in the air.

"HANDS UP, DON'T SHOOT!!"

As soon as he did that, he braced for the electric shock of the taser...but nothing happened. In fact, everyone went silent.

After a bit of silence, he opened his eyes. The cop was staring right at his little pistol, she had her hand to her mouth trying to cover it. She had tears in her eyes and was trying to hold back laughter. But tried as she might, the dam burst and out came a flood of laughter.

"PFFFF HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MY GOD, YOU'RE GONNA DO TERRIBLE IN PRISON. WHAT WERE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT LITTLE SHIV? MUG AN ANT? AHAHAHAHAHA!"

This caused a wave of laughter to spread throughout the crowd as well. As well as much more jokes at his expense.

"Guess she doesn't have to do a strip search!"

"I mean, having a dick that small might be punishment enough."

"You should do a cavity search, that big booty could hiding anything."

"Don't drop the soap once you get there, little guy!"

That last one filled him full of dread as the realization set in that he wouldn't survive a day in jail! Tears started forming in his eyes. No one was even lifting a finger to help him. Aside from their pinkies of course, but the pinkies weren't much help.

Those who weren't wiggling their pinkies or making mean comments were practically on the floor rolling in laughter. Some of them literally were, including the cop, who was clutching her sides in hilarity. Wait a second....the cop is in the floor, both hands away from her stun gun, eyes watering in tears of laughter.

He realized this was his moment, with her distracted he could escape! He looked around and while they were still giggling and laughing at him, some of the ladies actually stepped aside to make an opening for him! As he gripped his shame, he booked it!

He ran through the crowd and endured their pinches, pokes, smacks to the butt, comments and of course all those flashing phone cameras.

One woman even screamed out "Run Nudie, Run!"

Every nerve in his body was firing on all cylinders. As he ran past the crowd, the cop finally realized her perp was getting away.

"WHAT!? GET BACK HERE YOU NAKED FREAK!!"

The women then started blocking her path, in order to let our hapless hero escape.

"YOU WON'T GET AWAY FOREVER! I'VE COMMITTED YOUR FACE, YOUR LITTLE DICK AND THAT ASS TO MEMORY. I WILL FIND YOU AND YOU WILL FACE CONSEQUENCES! DO YOU HEAR ME!?"

He ran as faster then he ever thought he could, with his hands tightly covering himself. Even more people saw him as he streaked through the town. So many comments, laughter and cameras were directed at him. As he saw his street, he closed his eyes and started screaming as he ran. If nothing else, then to block the teasing and mocking he had to endure at this point.

After a few minutes of this, he realized he couldn't hear the crowd's laughter anymore. He opened his eyes, he was finally in the suburbs. As he turned down the sidewalk, he hid behind trees, signs, lawn ornaments, anything he could hide behind.

He heard a few of his neighbors out and about and hid in a bush until he didn't hear them anymore. As he hid, he mulled everything over that has happened thus far. All he wanted to do was just go skinny dipping, was that so wrong? Why was the world at large punishing him for such a harmless crime?

Did he do something in a past life to deserve this? Was this karma finally catching up with him? What could he have done wrong to deserve this!? Was the universe just waiting for him to whip his dick out so they could just leave it exposed for everyone to see!?

It made no sense. He had to be cursed or something, there was no other explanation for everything to go wrong this badly. No matter the case, once he got home, he'd never leave the house again. He'd never even be naked again. He'd never take his clothes for granted again, he'd wash, clean and iron them. He'd never even shower naked, he'd wear his swim trunks or at least he will once he buys new ones.