Trying Farmers Only Dot Com

Lorna Mulligan sat in a quiet part of the dining area of the South Trenton Pub, a dive bar Lorna had selected because it was close to her house. In Lorna's mind she had adopted a new policy that if she was going to get stood up by a guy, there was no sense in driving a long way to endure that. The chubby brunette had done that in her previous effort of meeting a guy through this Farmers Only website, driving 20 miles just to eat bread sticks alone in a restaurant waiting for a guy who never showed.

Lorna figured that the guy probably peeked in the place, saw her and didn't like what he saw and left. Lorna was used to rejection, but she had been brutally honest in her ad and had put a picture in that showed exactly what she looked like, hoping to avoid precisely what ended up happening.

Having already put up the money to join the website, Lorna made arrangements to meet the only other man to contact her, a 31 year old guy from Utica, about 25 miles south of her, and although Clyde said he worked on a farm when he was younger he was a warehouse worker. Although the site was called Farmers Only it seemed to cater to rural singles regardless of occupation and few listed farming as their profession. This Clyde fellow wrote that he was 5'10" and a little over 200 pounds, which Lorna thought was a little heavy, but that was fine with her because she wasn't as picky as many of the people there seemed to be and being chunky herself she was in no position to judge.

Clyde didn't provide a picture but since Lorna's ad said that looks were not important and that only being a nice guy mattered, she didn't think it right to ask for a photo. She had been a little nervous about putting her own photo there even if it was taken four years old when she was 18. As Lorna nursed a glass of house wine she kept an eye on the door, waiting for her blind date to appear. She could see the bar from her seat too, and there were a half dozen guys drinking cheap beer. Lorna knew a couple by sight but since she didn't hang out here much there was nobody she really knew.

Time past and as it did Lorna got more and more concerned, although to be fair she had gotten there early so this Clyde wasn't really late yet. Lorna wondered what she would do if none of these dates worked out. There was very few locals her age in the area, and none had shown any interest in her. The trucking company Lorna did secretarial work for only had a dozen employees, all but one of them guys, but they had also shown no interest in her although in fairness most were married and thus unavailable.

One minute after 7 the door at the bar end opened and when it did the bar got quieter like it often did when somebody who wasn't a regular came in. The large man wearing jeans and a windbreaker walked through the bar and towards the dining area, his eyes fixed on Lorna, and as the man approached Lorna realized that this man was Clyde and the reason his entrance turned heads was that he was black. As black as black can be, with a shaved head and a mustache.

"Lorna?" the man said in a voice as deep as Barry White's, and when he put out a big ebony hand Lorna offered hers.

"Clyde?" she said after she regained her voice.

"The only and only. Can I sit down?"

"Oh. Uh - sure," Lorna replied. "Sorry."

"I gather that I'm not exactly what you expected," the burly man offered with a bright smile. "And if you would rather I left, that's fine too. I understand."

"Uh. No. No and no," Lorna mumbled. "No, you weren't exactly what I was expecting and no I don't want you to leave."

"I seem to have gotten the attention of the other patrons."

"Anybody they don't recognize gets that treatment. I don't come in here much so I don't know many of them."

The waitress came over and took Clyde's drink order, and when she left Clyde took his windbreaker off. Lorna did a double take when she saw that while Clyde was a big man like his ad suggested, unlike herself little if any of the weight Clyde carried was fat. The light blue shirt he had on barely contained his broad chest and his biceps seemed like they would burst the short sleeves open when he bent his arm and took a drink.

"Wow. Sorry to stare, but are you an athlete Clyde?"

"Not since high school. I work out a lot and working 10 hours a day 5 days a week does keep me in shape."

"Looking at you makes me feel even fatter," Lorna admitted but Clyde shook his head.

"You look nice to me Lorna. I'm not much for the scrawny type women to be honest. That's why I was drawn to your picture," Clyde revealed. "You seem very mature for 22."

"You're only the second person that I've met through that site," Lorna confessed and then amended that. "Actually you're the first I met. The first guy either stiffed me or peeked in at me and ran. Not sure which of those rejections is worse."

"Worse is when you walk up to the person and they get up and scurry out the door," Clyde revealed.

"That happened to you?"

"Two times."

"Oh geez."

"Not having much luck," Clyde sighed. "There was one lady who did go out with me once after that but that was it. When I came in I figured you to be one of the runners."

"I would never do that. You were nice enough to come here to meet me," Lorna said as the waitress approached, and after Clyde ordered a burger Lorna opted for a salad and then told her date, "I'm on a diet. It started the minute you took off your jacket."

***

"I can't believe we've been here for almost two hours," Lorna declared to Clyde after he asked for the check, and she wasn't kidding because the time had flown.

After the nerves went away the conversation began to flow, and while Lorna didn't believe it possible a couple hours ago she was hoping that Clyde would want to see her again. After she tried and failed to pay for half of the check they left, walking past the bar where she sensed a little hostility towards her. Lorna suspected Clyde not putting his windbreaker on stopped anybody from making any comments towards him, and when the burly black man moved in front of her to open the door she saw that his back was as broad as his chest was.

Out in the parking lot the conversation turned to whether Lorna would like to get together again and the chubby teen wasted no time in saying she would like that. She refused his offer of a ride home and pointed at her beat up Toyota, but when she saw the nice black Town Car that Clyde drove she was embarrassed.

"Friday night then? We'll meet at the theater around 6:30," Clyde said, since Lorna didn't want him to have to drive up here to get her, and with that Clyde leaned down to kiss Lorna. Lorna was expecting a light peck but once his full lips met hers it became a whole lot more, with the chubby brunette holding Clyde's forearms for balance, and she was out of breath when Clyde backed away and bid her good night.

Lorna walked over to her car and after getting in, turned the key and let it run for a minute as her heart slowed back down. She hadn't expected that kiss, and had even wondered whether a light peck was getting too familiar too fast, but then Clyde doubled down on her affection. She wasn't sure where this relationship would go but a couple things were certain. Clyde had soft lush lips and the man could kiss.

***

Friday morning at work Lorna was having coffee on break when the only other female in the building joined her, grinning a grin that suggested she was full of gossip and eager to share, and as Donna said down she patted Lorna's hand.

"Aren't you the talk of the town?" she cackled and then added, "I had no idea you were a mud shark."

"What?" Lorna asked in confusion.

"It's all over town that you were going at it hot and heavy with some black guy in the parking lot of Stingers a couple nights ago," Donna explained.

"What are you talking about? I haven't been to Stingers in years for one thing. I did go to the South Trenton Pub and met a guy that contacted me through that Farmer's Only website, we had as good a meal as you can get at STP and after he walked me to the car he kissed me good night," Lorna snapped. "Shit. If people are going to gossip about me the least they can do is get it right."

"You know people. Anyway, the word was that he was like The Incredible Hulk."

"Clyde is black. I think The Hulk is green," Lorna replied.

"You know what I mean. Muscles on muscles."

"He's in great shape, that's for sure. I guess he works out, lifts weights and stuff. I never care much for those musclemen types but Clyde was nice. Smooth, not rude so far."

"Well whatever bar you were in with him around here he would stand out. He's a farmer?"

"No, I don't think there are many farmers on that website. Yeah, he did stand out at The STP because he seems to have a full set of teeth. That's probably not something all the clowns at the bar could have managed if they pooled their resources."

"How about the other thing? You know," Donna probed, and when Lorna seemed clueless she explained. "His cock. Has he got a big one? Black guys are supposed to be bigger."

"I have no idea. We haven't gotten anywhere near that point."

"Maybe just a stereotype," Donna nodded and then leaned close to her co-worker and confided, "Just between you and me girlfriend. Back in college I dated a black guy a couple of times, but when I reached in what I pulled out was just a regular dick."

"It's been so long that I hardly remember what a dick looks like, so I'll be content if he just has one," Lorna concluded. "That and if he can stay hard after he sees me naked. That's all I care about. I'm just looking for a nice guy."

"I suppose they are out there. Keep me informed."

"Keep reading the toilet stall walls," Lorna suggested as she got up to rinse out her cup and get back to work. "Who knows? Around here it might even be in the Pennysaver. rag."

***

Saturday morning Lorna woke up a little late, the sound of her mother puttering around in the kitchen waking her up, so after throwing on some clothes she went out to get a cup of coffee. When her mother saw her she didn't greet her with the "good morning sleepyhead" she got when she slept in, and as she poured a cup of undoubtedly stale coffee she asked Mom what was up.

"You aren't really dating a colored boy Lorna, are you?" her mother said with a look of concern that was almost comical. "Please tell me it isn't true. At the beauty parlor yesterday..."

"Good grief. I thought I was the one without a life. Don't people have anything else to do but talk about others?"

"I'm not concerned about others. I care about you. Is it true?"

"First of all, Clyde isn't colored and isn't a Negro either. This is the 21st century for crying-out-loud. Yes, he's black," a clearly annoyed Lorna responded. "He's gainfully employed, and has treated me very nicely the two times I've been with him. We're dating, not getting married."

"What about your father? If he finds out? Oh my!"

"I'll tell him if you want, Mom. The way this is spreading through town he'll find out. I'm not ashamed. He's been a perfect gentleman"

"But why a black boy?"

"He's 31 years old first of all. Second, why not? It's not like he had to fight his way to the head of the line to date me."

"But you know what they want Lorna."

"I do know. He wants what every other guy wants regardless of color," she noted. "Maybe it's what I want too."

"What is this world coming to? If I had ever said something like that to my parents..."

"I know Mom. You were always pure and noble when you were young," she mocked and then mentioned her older brother who had fled this town a while back. "Like I can't do the math. You get married to Dad and Matt is born six months later."

"He was premature."

"Right, well in any case I won't be getting pregnant anytime soon."

"Thank heaven for small favors," Mother sighed. "I know you're an adult but I'm just concerned."

"Thank you for your concern."

"It's just that there's fellows around her who are nice. I mean, if you lost a little weight..."

"The weight again. I've been losing and gaining the same 30 pounds all my life Mom."

"Still, there are fellows - nice fellows. The new assistant manager down at Stewart's seems like a fine fellow," Mom clucked. "And guess who changed my oil down at Jiffy Lube the other day? Jack Lamson."

"Jack Lamson!" Lorna screamed loud enough to cause her mother to drop her cleaning cloth. "Jack Lamson is your idea of a nice guy I should date? What's wrong with your memory?"

"That was so long ago honey. People change."

"Bullshit. Don't you remember back when I was in school? Jack Lamson was one of the guys that said they wanted to throw me a party back in the woods on my birthday."

"Please honey."

"Remember how they got me so drunk that I passed out and when I came to I was naked and could hardly walk? Remember when I made it home and told you? You said that I probably teased them and I should just forget about it?" Lorna screamed, but by then her mother had run out of the room with her hands over her ears as was her custom wherever she heard something unpleasant.

"No. I told you I never wanted to hear about that again!" she yelled back and then added, "you know if your father finds out about who you're seeing I wouldn't be surprised if he made you move out."

"Probably for the best. All that's kept me here is laziness and - ha - love of family," Lorna said. "I can live just as cheaply on my own and not have to listen to crap like this. Probably cheaper when you figure in that I buy most of the groceries."

"I know you do, dear, and I appreciate it."

"Add that to giving Dad half of my check every week..."

"You give Dad what?" her mother barked in a voice almost matching her earlier intensity, obviously unaware of that news.

"Oh brother. What a family. I'm going for a ride. Maybe I'll find a nice bridge abutment to run into," Lorna called back over her shoulder as she grabbed her purse and ran out the door before she started crying.

After getting down the road a ways Lorna pulled over to get herself together, and the more she thought about it the better moving out sounded. Most of the apartments around here she could afford were no great shakes but she was 22 and it was time to get on with her life.

As Lorna started to drive around aimlessly she snickered at the way she had described Clyde as a perfect gentleman. Oh, he was polite and all but last night things had gotten a little wild. They were sitting in Clyde's car - a wise choice because even though it was 8 years old it was in beautiful shape and very comfortable - after getting a drink, discussing how lousy the movie had been, and after declining his offer of going to his place Lorna was ready to get in her own car and go home but then he kissed her.

Five minutes later the tinted windows of the Town Car were fogged, the bench seat adjusted so she was leaning way back, and he was all over her. The kissing was incredibly intense and when Clyde's big hand went to her breast and he roughly kneaded it through the fabric she was so happy he didn't complain how small it was on her large frame that he let him.

A couple minutes later she was desperately trying to get his hand out from under her slacks where he had slipped it after failing to get Lorna's hand on his lap. Clyde had managed to not only get under the waistband of her slacks but into her panties as well, with two fingers in and the possibility of more to follow. Lorna nearly gave in but came to her senses and stopped him.

"Please Clyde."

"I thought you liked me. Thought we had a thing going on," Clyde replied.

"We do. It's just that here - in a parking lot?"

"We're going out tomorrow night right? A little jazz and then..."

"Sure. I'd love to," Lorna answered while Clyde held his hand up near his face, the hand that had been inside her panties.

Those hands - so black and the nicely trimmed nails with the beige skin under the nails - had gotten Lorna's attention the first time they met. Now Clyde was looking at her while he put his middle finger in his mouth, one of the fingers that had been inside of her, and he grinned as he sucked on it for a second, getting Lorna to giggle.

"Here," Clyde said as he reached over and put his index finger near her mouth, the digit still wet with her fluid. "See how nice you taste."

Lorna couldn't believe that when Clyde put his finger to her lips she took it into her mouth, and when he eased the long finger all the way in under it was nearly in her throat she found herself sucking on it as he slowly pulled it out almost all the way before playfully moving it in and out a few times before taking it out for good.

"That was so sexy," Clyde said as he nuzzled into Lorna's neck, and while he kissed his way around her collarbone he purred in that Barry White voice of his while he started to make advances again. "I know you want me Lorna. You're so wet. You're driving me crazy, you know that?"

"Tomorrow night," Lorna said, realizing that she had pretty much committed herself to what seemed to be inevitable.

"Gonna make you scream babe," Clyde promised. "You've got a lot of hair down there, don't you child? Clyde likes that a lot. Tomorrow night around 8."

Lorna had been driving down towards Utica with no conscious destination when she realized that she was near where Clyde lived. Lorna had never been to his place but after they met she had googled him to find out what she could about him, and along with confirming he worked at the brewery she found his address and had even located it on the map feature.

Not a very fancy neighborhood, Lorna had surmised from the long range photo, and as she drove down the urban street it looked no better in person, although she was well aware she didn't live in Beverly Hills either. She was almost past Clyde's address when she saw the three story multi-family place which was no better or worse that the other ones on the street, so after she went past she drove around to come back the other way for a better look before heading home.

"Hey Lorna!"

The girl nearly hit a guy carrying a gym bag who had stepped out a bit and flagged her down, and to her embarrassment it was Clyde, and he waved her over to a parking space that had just opened. What was she going to say when she got asked why she was there? No time to think because Clyde was at her open window soaking wet .

"Just got done working out," he explained pulling at the wet t-shirt than clung to him like a wrapper. "Got to get in shape for my woman."

"Uh - you already are in shape," Lorna opined, and when Clyde asked the obvious question about what she was doing here she decided to be honest.

"I was just driving around - really bad morning at home - and somehow I was near here. Since I had looked up your address when we met..."

"Smart woman."

"So since I knew the address so I decided to cruise by on my way back home."

"Oh. I was hoping you were stalking me, or maybe couldn't wait until tonight to see me," Clyde quipped. "Lock the car and come up to my place."

"I can't. I'm really am a mess because I sort of just got out of bed," Lorna said but Clyde was insistent and persuasive.

"You look sexy to me. Come on up and I'll give you a drink. Ice water because it's hot as hell."

"Okay," she said, and after looking in the rear view mirror to confirm she looked bad, she got out of the car.

"It's no better on the inside than it is on the outside," Clyde told her as he put his arm around Lorna's back as they crossed the street, and she didn't know whether it was a sign of affection or whether he was showing her off to the guys on the stoop next door, but she didn't care.

"Where I live isn't much better," she said, but as they climbed the inside staircase she groaned. "Third floor? I take it back. I only have to climb 3 steps, not 3 floors."