T's BH Lounge

"I forgave him a long time ago. I've never been able to forgive myself."

"Now maybe you can. The place we're going today is special. Maybe today's the day."

"I hope so, Carla."

"Last night happened for a reason."

"He seems the same, but so different."

"Different how?"

"Appearance for one, but I don't know, so self-assured maybe."

"He's at peace, Catie."

"Maybe that's it. I don't know."

"Do you still love him?"

"I still love the man from ten years ago. I'm not sure who this man is. I do get palpitations around him," she chuckled.

"Think he still loves you?"

"I have no doubt he still loves the me from before. He made that very clear last night."

"You're lucky. You get to fall in love with the same man twice."

"Let's not go jumping the gun, Carla."

Carla grinned at her.

**********

The drive was beautiful. The town of Mount Shasta was quaint and obviously very much geared for tourists. There were small shops everywhere. Using her GPS, Carla found their destination easily.

The house was on a mountain road outside of town and up a single lane drive back into the forest. As they drove up, they could see the house was a two story and sitting on a level area on the side of the mountain. It was made from pine logs and peaked in the center, a modified A frame. The windows were large with the center peak all glass. There was a covered porch that appeared to go all the way around the house. It was beautiful.

Donna and a few others from the Reiki group were on the plant covered porch. Donna greeted them warmly as they walked up.

"Donna, is this your home? It's beautiful," Catie asked.

"I wish. Our host is finishing up our picnic lunch. We'll be ready to start soon. Carla, did you bring a hydration pack?"

"Oh, I forgot."

"There's a spare inside. You go grab it and I'll introduce Catie to everyone."

Carla went inside and Donna took Catie around introducing her. Carla returned about ten minutes later and walked up to Catie.

"Here's your pack," she told her sister.

Carla wore a medium size pack and a grin from ear to ear. She began helping Catie with her smaller one.

"Why the Cheshire cat look?" Catie asked.

"I'm just a happy person," Carla replied.

The front door opened, and Tony stepped out. Catie grinned at seeing him. His well-groomed beard was gone and replaced with a smile much like Carla's as he walked to her.

"Welcome to Mt. Shasta, Catie," he said.

"Thanks. I recognize that handsome face."

"No one else will. They've never seen me without the beard."

"Why'd you shave?"

"It was time."

"Time?"

"Yep, time.

"Is this your home?" Catie asked.

"It is. It's a bit larger than the one we talked about."

"A bit bigger? Tony, this is beautiful."

"My fortress of solitude."

"Do you need a fortress of solitude?"

"Not anymore, but I did for a long time."

"I know the feeling." She took his hand and smiled. "Any chance a girl can get a hug around here?"

"Just be prepared. I don't just hug. I HUG."

He took her in his arms and engulfed her. She melted into him. Both felt it deeply. So much more than a simple hug, they joined.

"Ready for our hike?" he asked everyone.

"Ready," they all replied.

He had taken many others on this trek and was well prepared. Tony took Catie's arm and led the group. The first quarter mile was heavily uphill and forested but led them to a well-worn trail where the traveling was much easier.

"All trail from here," he told them.

"Thank God! I'd never have made it," Carla replied.

"Me either," Donna added.

"Stay hydrated. The air is dry up here," he reminded them all.

"How high are we?" Carla asked.

"About 7,000 feet. Our destination is just above 10,000 feet."

"Tell us about our destination," Carla said.

Speaking loud enough for everyone to hear, "We're going to a spot near the entrance to Telos. It's one of the vortices on our lovely planet."

"What are vortices?" Catie asked.

"There are several spots scattered around the earth that seem to have some spiritual energy. Places like; Sedona, Stonehenge, Machi Pichu, Jerusalem, Shasta is one too."

"What makes them special?"

"No one really knows. Legend says that thousands, maybe millions of years ago, there were two great civilizations, Atlantis, and Lemur. The Atlanteans and Lemurians had different ideas about how less advanced people should be treated. The Atlanteans wanted to subjugate them and the Lemurians wanted them left alone to develop at their own pace. A war broke out between them over that. It caused the islands they were on to sink into the ocean. The Lemurians built an underground city, Telos, deep under Shasta. They still live there today.

"And you believe that?" Catie asked.

"Not a word of it," he grinned. "But there is something really special about where we're headed. You'll experience it yourselves today."

"What are we going to experience, Tony?" Carla asked.

"You remember the power and oneness we all experienced at the river last Sunday?" Both nodded. "Multiply that by a factor of two or three."

"Could you sense me there?" Catie asked him.

"No, we were one there. There was no you or me, just one."

"Are we going to do something like that today?" Carla asked.

"We'll all be meditating together."

"I figured you'd be trying to sneak off with my sister," Carla said.

"Never with a married woman," he replied.

"What makes you think I'm married?" Catie asked.

"Left ring finger with the impression of a ring, both yesterday and today. You aren't the type to take it off for a night out, so I'm guessing you've recently quit wearing it. You're either recently separated or in the process of a divorce."

"Very astute Mr. Holmes. The divorce was final a few weeks ago," Catie said smiling.

"Sorry, it was none of my business."

"Your hand doesn't show signs of a ring."

"I've never had a ring on that finger. I let my chance get away."

"Tony, why did you leave?"

"I'd rather we do our meditation first, then I'll tell you whatever you want to know."

"Why after?"

"Talking about what happened will be easier then."

"Last night you said not to mourn the loss but to celebrate the love. Do you mean that?"

"With all my heart, Catie."

She took his hand and they walked together for a long time.

"Tony, Donna said you were bringing food," Carla said.

"I did. Hungry?"

"Starved," she replied.

The group of eight stepped off the trail and sat. Tony removed his backpack and opened it.

"Chicken salad, ham and cheese, BLTs, assorted cheese, fresh fruit and veggies, take your pick."

He put out plates then began unpacking the food.

"This is really good. Where'd you buy it?" Catie asked.

"I beg your pardon!" he replied.

"So, you cook now?"

"I have an amazing kitchen?"

"I could buy an axe but that wouldn't make me a lumberjack," Catie said grinning.

"I'll be fixing dinner when we get back. I'll show you."

"The Tony I remember burned cold cereal," Catie chuckled.

"I seem to recall uncooked macaroni in your mac 'n cheese," he replied, grinning.

"You ate it, didn't you?" Donna asked.

"He didn't say a word. He was on his third or fourth bite before I tasted it and threw it out. We wound up going out for pizza," Catie said, lovingly.

"Why didn't you say something?" Carla asked, laughing.

"It was our first sit down meal at her apartment. I didn't want to ruin it."

"He was so sweet about the whole thing. Those were times to remember," Catie said.

Everyone enjoyed their lunch and after eating they returned to their hike. They were nearing the tree line and it began to get cooler. Carla and Catie put on the jackets Tony had put in their packs. About thirty minutes later they arrived at their destination. There were several others there already sitting in a circle with hands joined. After doing their sage cleansing, the group joined them. Catie and Tony sat next to each other. The meditation lasted about forty-five minutes. Everyone stretched when they got up. Tony and Catie found themselves standing alone and enjoying the view. They were still holding hands.

"Carla tells me you're a Reiki master."

"I'm far from being a master."

"But Carla said you have a master rating."

"I do, but when you consider that the original masters studied twenty or more years for that title and here, we get it after three classes, it isn't particularly meaningful."

"Kind of like buying chicken salad and calling yourself a chef," she said grinning.

He looked at her and smiled, "Wait until dinner."

"I love peanut butter and jelly."

"Smooth or crunchy?" he asked.

"Smooth."

"Good, I'm out of crunchy. Crust on or off?"

"On."

"White or wheat?"

"For pbj, white. Wheat for anything else."

"Triangles or rectangles?"

Catie laughed. "Triangles. Grape jelly or jam. Anything else, master chef?"

"How many?"

"Two should do it."

"Consider it done."

"What are you fixing everyone else?"

"Something a little more palatable than peanut butter and jelly."

"Such as?"

"Sorry, that's classified."

"Why did you leave?" she asked.

"For a couple of months before I left, you seemed different."

"How?"

"Imagine someone who lived their life in a beautiful place, but it was behind a wall. Sooner or later, you want to know what's beyond that wall. You were happy being with me but wondered if you were missing something. I don't know if what I was feeling was right, but that's what I felt. I always thought you were out of my league and maybe you were settling for less than you deserved. I was afraid to talk to you about it. If that wasn't how you felt I didn't want to give you any ideas. I was insecure. I'd never loved anyone before. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I really did. The day you told me you were going to go out with someone else, I knew I had lost the one person in the whole world that I loved. I couldn't have you, but I wasn't a big enough man to be able to see you with someone else.

"I threw myself a major pity party. The morning of your date I withdrew from school. Told my friends to take whatever they wanted from my apartment. I put a couple of days' worth of clothes in a backpack and began walking west. I had no idea where I was headed. I just kept walking. After being on the road for about two months, I found myself in Davis, California where I stopped.

"Catie, I left because I wasn't strong enough to stay. I should have stayed to be there as your friend. I just couldn't. I'm sorry. As a friend, I failed miserably."

"Oh, Tony. I wish you had stayed. You were right about the wall analogy. I went on the date and in less than an hour, I knew I wanted to be with you. I loved you. Midway through dinner, I had him drop me off at your apartment to beg you to forgive my stupidity. You were already gone. Your friends said they didn't know where you'd gone or how to reach you. The next day I went to see the registrar. They told me you quit school and left no forwarding address. I continued to check for a couple of months, but no one knew anything. I finally gave up. I knew you hated me for what I did to you. I deserved the pain I felt for hurting you."

"We both saw ourselves as the guilty party but what we failed at was communication," Tony replied.

"I'm glad we finally got to have this talk. I want more than anything for you to know that it was you I loved, only you."

"You're the only woman I ever have or will love, Catie."

"So where do we go from here, Tony?"

"Back down the mountain. One step at a time."

"I can do one step at a time," she said, smiling.

Both leaned forward and slowly, as they looked in each other's eyes, kissed. The past had closure. Carla and the others had been waiting on them near the trail. They joined them, then began their walk down the mountain. Being downhill the trip went much quicker. Carla and Catie talked together a lot. Tony lagged behind a short distance and just watched. He felt good. Finally, the past was behind him. He had no idea where the future would lead but knew the past could never hold him again.

When they returned to the house everyone went inside. Tony set out snack trays for them.

"Drinks are available at the bar in the den. Help yourselves to some snacks. Dinner will be served in an hour and forty-five minutes. Everyone make yourselves at home. Carla, I'd like you to be in charge of keeping Catie out of my kitchen."

Catie grinned at him. "Afraid I'll catch you Googling how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"

"Just stay out of my kitchen, you non-believer," he replied smiling.

Carla and Catie made drinks for everyone then went exploring the house. Catie was in love with it. This was a major upgrade from the one room getaway cabin she and Tony had talked about getting.

Donna walked up to them. "This is way too much house for a single person. Too bad he doesn't have a girlfriend." Donna nudged Catie, grinning.

"Yeah, too bad," Carla replied. Catie was pretending to ignore them.

"Carla, there must be a dozen women in your office. Any possibilities?" Donna asked.

"All married or in relationships except Olga, and she's right out of high school."

"Too bad, keep your eyes open. Catie, are you married?"

"No, I'm not," she replied. "I appreciate what you're doing, but it's been ten years. We've both changed. Let us get to know each other."

Catie quietly left the room and walked downstairs. She walked to the kitchen and stood in the doorway watching him. It was obvious that he was comfortable with preparing the meal. As he turned toward the pantry, he saw her.

"Any interest in helping put the salad together?" he asked.

"You think you can trust me with that?"

"Everything's cut up except the cucumber. I put that on last. It needs to be put in the big bowl, tossed and put in salad bowls."

Catie washed her hands and began. Once the salad was in the bowls, she and Tony reached for the cucumber at the same time.

"Watch and learn, non-believer," he told her.

Tony grabbed a chef's knife, peeled the cucumber perfectly, then sliced it so quickly that Catie gasped.

"Wow! I would have lost fingers trying that," she said, amazed.

"I've been practicing," he said.

"Where did you learn to do that?"

"In Davis and Chico. I took classes while I was stationed near there."

"So, fill me in from your arrival in Davis until today," she said.

"When I arrived in town, I got a job in a restaurant. I was a quick learner and they started teaching me to cook. When school started in the fall, I retook the last year of med school and continued part time at the restaurant. The Air Force offered me a three-year residency if I would work for them for a year afterward. I agreed. The last year was in Yuba City which is near Chico. I worked part time as a chef that year then after I got out worked another year. Then I bought the restaurant and converted it into T's BH Lounge."

"So, you could sing?"

"An act cancelled last minute one Friday. I decided to fill in. It was so popular I kept it up. About six months later I took the job in Shasta, had the house built and continued my Friday night gig. That brings us to the most beautiful strawberry blonde with brown hair showing up yesterday."

"How about the Reiki?"

"I met Donna in Chico at a Friday gig. She invited me to a meeting in Red Bluff and I got hooked."

"How did she know about us?"

"Your guess is as good as mine there."

"You've told me the short version of your last ten years but the only woman you mentioned was Donna and she's not your type."

"Catie, you could count the dates I've been on with one hand."

"Why, Tony?"

"Catie, there's only one woman on this planet I have any desire to ever be with. I'll love you until the end of time. There'll never be anyone else for me. I know what's true for me. Catie, you don't have to feel the same. I don't expect that. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. Now you can move on with your life and do that."

"Tony, you're a wonderful chef. You sing like no one I've ever heard. I don't know for sure, but I'd wager you're a talented and compassionate physician. As a salesman, you really suck. You just gave me a great sales pitch, then told me not to buy. I don't know if I should be flattered or pissed. I'm going to give you a second shot at closing the sale. Do you love me?"

"Yes, Catie."

"Will you always love me?"

"Always."

"Will I be your only woman?"

"Of course."

"That's how you make a sale. Cut the ifs, ands and buts. Tell me you love me. Tell me you'll always love me. Tell me there'll never be anyone else. Now close the sale. Take me in your arms and kiss me. The move after that'll be mine."

Tony took Catie in his arms and kissed her better than he ever had. They held each other for a long time.

"Tony, I still love you. I never stopped. Getting back together with you would be a dream. Like you said on the mountain, let's take one step at a time and get to know each other again."

"I'd love that, Catie."

"What else can I help with?"

"Wanna set the table? I have everything set out. There are eight of us."

"I'm on it," she replied, picking up placemats and plates.

Tony removed the dish from the oven, removed the foil, and put it back. He set a timer for twenty-five minutes. Catie returned a moment later for napkins and silverware. Tony quickly made two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches then stashed them out of sight.

"What else goes on the table?"

"It's on the counter to the right of the stove. We also need wine glasses and two bottles of chardonnay. Donna knows where I keep that."

The next fifteen minutes was a flurry of activity for Tony. Catie called everyone to the table as she and Tony began putting the assortment of dishes on the table. The last dish was a large chicken tetrazzini. Everyone marveled at the spread. Tony rose quickly and went to the kitchen. He returned and handed Catie the plate with two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on it.

"As you requested, madam," he said, grinning.

"Thank you, sir," she said, taking her knife and cutting each of the four pieces in half. She took one and passed the plate to Carla. "There's enough for everyone."

"Donna, would you like to say a few words?" he asked.

"Please join hands. We sit here as one with all things. One with the entire universe and whatever lies beyond that. As one, we are not hindered by time or space. As one we can experience your complete peace. Thank you. And thanks to our host and hostess for this amazing meal. Eat up," Donna said.

Everyone ate until they could eat no more. Each dish was perfection. There was a lot remaining when everyone had finished.

"Please take what's left home with you. I have to-go containers in the kitchen," Tony offered.

Everyone pitched in to clear the table and several people did make plates to take with them. With everyone pitching in, the kitchen was spotless in no time.

Carla and Catie went off alone to talk for a few minutes as the others were saying their goodbyes. After they all had gone except Catie and her sister, Catie went to Tony.

"Any chance I could get a ride back to Cottonwood tomorrow?" she asked.

"Is Carla having car trouble?"

"No. Her car's fine. If it's okay with you, I thought I'd stay behind tonight."

Tony took her hand and smiled at her. "I'd love for you to stay."

Catie turned to her sister. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Carla grinned as she walked to them. "Thanks for a wonderful day, T."

"You're welcome. I enjoyed it."

They walked Carla to her car then stood holding each other as she drove away. Tony took Catie's hand and led her back inside.

"I kind of put you on the spot. Didn't I?" she asked.

"I wanted to ask you to stay, but I didn't want to rush anything."