Turn On the Lights Ch. 02

"Hi Scruff!" He called cheerfully, before looking at me properly. His expression changed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I lied. I decided against the second bottle. Dave wouldn't like it, and it would make him suspect that something was wrong.

His face showed that he didn't believe me, but he stood there for a second, microphone cable in hand, and evidently decided against questioning me further. "Okay, let me know when you want to talk about it."

He sat down. "Anyway, got some news that might cheer you up. Professor Elemental is back in town next week, they brought the tour forwards because he sold out the last one and has a new record out. Should be a good laugh. I want you on spot again because you know the show. You free on Tuesday?"

My mind jerked onto another track. Was Annie still touring with the 'Professor'? Images of my last encounter with her flashed through my mind. I smiled. Annie was wild. Untamed. I could already feel my body reacting to the thought of her.

"Yeah, I can do that." A small pang of irrational guilt accompanied the sentence.

"Good."

Mike and Jake appeared at the door, followed by Becky. Jake sat next to me, meaning that Mike and Becky shared the other sofa. I watched their interaction closely. Mike was leaning away from her, obviously not wanting to give her any signals she could misinterpret. She was sat cross legged, as near as she could to him. She was watching him and playing with a strand of her hair.

I looked away, trying not to think about it.

Dave started talking about the gig. Craig was elsewhere -- no monitor engineer needed tonight, apparently. I barely paid any attention. I was trying to concentrate on seeing Annie again, and trying not to think about the following few hours that I would be spending in the grid with Becky.

The meeting broke, and I waited for Becky to leave before I followed everyone out in the corridor. I didn't want to speak to her.

I followed her, from a distance, down the corridor. I then took the longer route up to the grid so that I came at my spot from the opposite side, so I didn't have to pass her. I felt juvenile for doing that.

She was already checking her spot when I arrived at mine.

"Hey."

I didn't reply, going about checking my spot. The dimmer needed some repair work - it wasn't quite dimming all the way down to blackout. I busied myself faffing around with it as an excuse not to look at her.

"You didn't answer my call."

I sighed, putting the dimmer down. I couldn't escape this. "I was in the middle of a show. I rang you back and got your voicemail. I texted you."

"I didn't get it."

I didn't believe that for a second.

"Yeah, whatever. You could have texted me when I didn't answer." I winced internally at the acid that slipped out in my tone.

I'd backed her into a corner with my logic. She didn't like it; her expression was teetering on the verge of being angry. She turned back to her spot, sweeping it around the stage aggressively.

"It's academic now, anyway," I said under my breath. I knew it was something of a cheap shot.

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" She fumed.

I didn't trust myself to reply.

"Not answering, huh?", she muttered. "For the second time. Fine, give me the silent treatment, then."

The show was awkward. We barely spoke a word, and went our separate ways with the most cursory of farewells. I skipped the debrief beer and went home.

***

The day of the Professor Elemental gig came. On the way to work, my head was a mess. I had two options: pursue the (probably fruitless) endeavour of fixing things with (and turning) Becky, or I could see if there was more to Annie than just sex.

The latter seemed easier at this point, and would hopefully help me get over Becky, thereby killing two birds with one stone. I liked Annie; she was beautiful, confident, strong, down to earth, and an incredible lover. She shared some of those traits with Becky, I realised. The major difference was that I knew that Annie was definitely gay. Even if nothing worked out with Annie, it would probably still help me think about something other than Becky.

So when I saw that telltale leather jacket and copper hair combination walking across the floor towards me, a huge smile broke out on my face.

"Scruff!" Annie beamed at me.

"Annie," I said, folding into her hug.

"I was really happy when they brought the tour forwards. It means I get to have ragingly hot sex with you again," she winked at me, whispering the last sentence.

I smiled. It had been pretty hot, last time. I could already feel desire starting to build inside me at the proximity to this ball of sexy fire.

"After the show, come and find me again, we'll hang out," Annie instructed me.

"Okay."

She gave me a quick kiss, fixed me with her eyes for a second, then headed backstage. My spirits were lifted; I hoped I could develop the start of an emotional connection with her. Or would she just want sex again?

Dave appeared behind me. "Back together with your ex?" He asked.

I'd forgotten about that little lie. "Um...yeah, possibly."

"Just be careful. Sometimes people aren't together for a reason," he warned. "By the way, Jake's called in sick, so I've had to pull in Becky to op the rig. I get the impression you two aren't on good terms at the moment so at least you're not next to each other. She said she'll be here in about half an hour."

I didn't know how to feel about this. Originally, tonight looked like a great opportunity: I could pursue something with Annie without worrying about having Becky nearby. Now I'd have to talk to Becky on comms; she would be giving me cues. That would be difficult.

I busied myself replacing dead lamps and rerouting some cables that had somehow got in everyone's way on stage.

Becky arrived when she said she would. I made my way briskly up into the grid, feeling like a teenager as I did. I just wanted her to stay out of the way until I'd seen Annie.

Rehearsal was about to start so I put my comms headset on and took up position behind my spot. Becky's voice came in my ear.

"Scruff, if you're on comms...I'm sorry. Can we talk after the show please?" Her voice sounded emotional.

I screamed internally. My initial thought was to tell her 'no' -- that I was busy. However, as I turned my headset's mic on, I quickly realised that I wasn't ready to close this door quite yet. I knew it was stupid, I knew that I should know better, but I couldn't quite let go of her.

Sighing, I adjusted my headset and spoke. "I'm...busy, after the show. But if you can come up here during the interval we can probably talk?"

"Okay-" She was cut short by a booming voice over the PA indicated that Professor Elemental was ready to start rehearsal. "Better get on with it."

Rehearsal went smoothly; I ended up giving Becky more cues than she gave me, seeing as I knew the show better than her. Seeing Annie cavorting about on stage in her various outfits wasn't helping.

I ducked out to get some food before the show started; Becky was busy talking to Dave about something as I left, so I didn't disturb them. I mulled over in my mind what might be said during the interval, between Becky and myself. It sounded like she wanted to apologise and perhaps repair our friendship, but would there be more than that? My mind whirled as I trudged over to the nearby Subway.

When I returned, Becky had her head down, having a bit of a fight with the lighting console. She was evidently knee-deep in programming, so I left her to it. Or at least that was the excuse I gave myself.

I climbed back up into the grid and got ready for the show, stripping down to my top, panties, and boots. This was one thing that Becky had introduced me to that I was very grateful for. It meant that I didn't burn up during the show, and I also felt a sort of freedom, being up there completely unfettered. At first I'd worried about punters looking up and seeing my knickers, but I'd been down on the floor and looked up during a show enough times and knew that it's way too dark up there to see anything, so that fear had passed pretty quickly.

That said, it did send a slightly naughty tingle up my spine to think that I was up there, only partially dressed, while everyone below was oblivious. I could have been completely naked, and they'd have had no idea.

The house lights went dark, and I quickly put my comms headset on, knowing that the show must be about to start.

"Ready, Scruff?" I heard in my ear.

"Yeah."

"Cool. Can we still talk during the interval?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'll come up into the grid as soon as he finishes." And with that, the Professor strolled onto stage with a giant cup of tea and began his set. My eyes were glued to the stage, but I wasn't really looking at the Professor -- I was doing spot on autopilot -- I was looking for Annie.

Two songs in, the retinue all trooped onto stage, Annie amongst them. I smiled. She looked as stunning as the first time I'd seen her, in the same cheesy-but-sexy maid outfit. I couldn't help but notice that pale cleavage, inviting me in. Even from that distance, her sex appeal was obvious. The draw from the sexy way she danced was magnetic. The way those wide hips moved sensually, the mischievous grin on her face, those legs...I could already feel myself getting aroused and we still had most of the gig to go.

The first half of the show went flawlessly; the anticipation of seeing Annie again growing with every minute she was on stage.

I had almost forgotten about my rendezvous with Becky until I heard her say in my ear, "Okay, I'm coming up now."

Seconds later I heard the clanking of the gantries and saw Becky appear.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey."

She sat down on the chair opposite mine.

"Look, I need to apologise. I overreacted the other day. I shouldn't have snapped at you. It just...hurt a bit when you didn't pick up. And yes, I should have made more effort to contact you...but I was scared."

That, I wasn't expecting. "Scared?" I asked. "Of what?" Becky didn't come across as the kind of person who would fear anything.

"Of...of what I was feeling."

"And what was that?" I whispered, my heart attempting to escape from my chest.

She sighed, staring up into the roof like she was looking for some divine answer. "I don't know. But after the other day...I just felt bad. Really bad. I felt like I'd lost something." She looked at me with those deep brown eyes, mesmerising me like she always did. "I'm sorry, Scruff."

I smiled back at her. "I'm sorry too. I took it badly."

"Took what badly?"

"You...and Mike."

"Me and Mike? What do y-oh... Oh. That." She looked sheepish.

"It's your choice what you do with your life, and I had no right to expect that you would change that just for me. Even after...even after we kissed. I gave you space to make a decision, and I didn't like the result. I should have been more prepared for the worst."

"Huh? Oh, Scruff...I...I didn't make a decision."

"Then what was all that about with Mike?"

"I was just...it was..." She sighed, looking a little defeated. "I dunno, I just like flirting with people. He was there, he's a good-looking guy...it doesn't mean anything, Scruff. I mean, yeah, you and I kissed...it made me think. I'm still thinking. But I wanted to see if it had affected how I am with guys. I wanted to see if anything had changed. I suppose I'm just trying to see what I feel and...and..." Another sigh punctuated her flow. "And I dunno. It sounds stupid, but I really don't know what I'm thinking at the moment." She was fiddling with her fingers, obviously nervous. "This is all new to me, Scruff. It's shaken me up."

I sat there trying to process all this. I was trying to find some way out of it, some way that would make it easy to dismiss her as straight, to dismiss everything so I could focus on the potential stability of Annie. But it wasn't working.

I felt like I was walking a tightrope. Playing roulette. Red or black, red or black...why does life have to be so fucking complicated?

"Becky...I'm sorry. I jumped to a conclusion I shouldn't have jumped to. I was just...emotional. I'm sorry for snapping at you too."

"It's okay. Are we cool?"

I smiled. "We can be cool if you give me a hug..." I suggested wryly.

"Any time, Scruff." Her smile lit up her face and she took me into a huge hug.

It was a mistake, I realised, letting her get this close again, when I was less than half an hour away from seeing Annie. But it felt so good, to have those arms around me, to feel that body pressed against me. I could smell her hair. Apples, today. Her warm hands were splayed across my back; I could feel their warmth through my top. Her chin was resting on my bare shoulder. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a desire for her to move slightly and kiss my shoulder surfaced. It was insistent. It wanted her to kiss my shoulder, then move to my neck, maybe lick it. Then more.

I put a stop to it. I couldn't let her have this effect on me anymore. I had to focus on Annie. Annie was definitely gay; Annie didn't have any of the emotional carnage of coming out to go through; she, like me, had dealt with all that years ago. She was a much more sensible option than Becky.

"I've got to get back downstairs for the show," I heard her mumble into my shoulder.

"Okay."

Then she reached down and squeezed my ass. I wasn't expecting it, and an exhalation of breath escaped me, betraying that I liked it. Seeing as I didn't have my combats on, the feel of her hand on my bare cheek had been electric. I wanted her to squeeze it more, to grab it, to grab my other cheek, to lift me up and take me somewhere and fuck the life out of me.

She whispered into my ear, "I haven't forgotten." And with that, she stood up and sprinted for the ladder back downstairs.

I stood there breathless for a few seconds, my mind whirring and my stomach doing backflips. I could still feel her touch on my cheek.

Then I looked at the stage and saw Dave's torch flashing on and off from the door at the back of stage left. The international signal for 'the show is about to start'. I quickly took some deep breaths to steady myself, and got back behind my spot, pulling my comms headset on and trying to ignore the frustration.

The show started, and the lighting rig didn't come up. I panicked, wondering if Becky had fallen off the ladder on the way down in her haste.

"Becky?!?" I shouted into the comms as the PA blared.

"Shit, shit...sorry, missed it," the reply came a few seconds later. She was panting, she must have run from the ladder to front of house and missed the cue. The rig came up to full brightness and the show continued.

"Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck." I heard her curse. She'd have to explain this to Dave later. He wouldn't be pleased.

The second half went well once Becky had got back into the flow; the comms banter was much easier. We chatted like we used to. I felt happy again, although frustrated with indecision. Roulette.

Then the intro for 'Fighting Trousers' started and my stomach started to knot. I saw Annie come out in her gorgeous-but-slightly-cheesy outfit, those toned legs striding across the stage.

I swallowed; I was going to have to make a decision very soon. Annie wanted to see me after the show. She probably wanted to fuck. It would be hot, I knew. It would probably be some of the best sex I'd ever had. But there was now guilt mixed in with the arousal that was rising within me. Becky hadn't dismissed me. I still had a chance. I needed more time to weigh up whether to avoid Annie and go and talk to Becky instead - maybe try and be more persuasive with her -- or whether to fuck Annie and try and start something more emotional with her in an attempt to get over Becky.

I was torn in two, I didn't know which way to go, and I was running out of time. The Professor was into the third verse now, and Annie was gyrating on the stage left side of the ring. I saw her eyes look up towards me. Surely, she couldn't see me from down there?

She winked. That caused a tingle in my pussy. She must be able to see me, up here with no trousers on. I suddenly worried whether everyone could see; whether I'd misjudged the difference in light levels up here compared to down on the floor. Maybe the ambient light levels up here were higher than I thought. Panic started to hit me, but it was too late to stop and put my combats on.

The song finished, the Professor took his bows, and exited the stage.

My heart was hammering now. Panic, nervous energy, indecision, and arousal were all warring within me.

What the fuck am I going to do?!?

I killed my spot and reset its position, checking the lamp hours. All without thinking about what I was doing -- my mind was elsewhere.

I pulled my combats on, picked up my bag, and headed for the ladder. I climbed down slowly, still indecisive, trying to delay the inevitable.

As I reached the bottom, I turned around to find Becky stood inches from me.

"Hey."

"Hey..." A moment passed as our eyes met. Once again, those big brown orbs entranced me. Her smile was that gorgeous, lopsided mischievous grin of hers that I liked so much. Half of me desperately wanted to tear away from this, to go and find Annie, to fuck her brains out and be fucked by her. The other half wanted to grab Becky, spin her around, push her against the wall, kiss her until her pussy was soaking and then sink two fingers deeply inside her until she came. Regardless of who saw us.

Fuck.

She finally broke the moment. "Wanna come to the Irishman after work? Mike's coming too. Dave said he can probably make it as well."

I thought about Annie. "I don't know. Maybe."

"C'mon, it'll be fun. We haven't been out for a proper drink for a while."

"I dunno, I've got to meet someone first."

Her expression showed a hint of jealousy, I thought. "Oh? Who?"

"Just someone I know from a while back. We're catching up. Shouldn't take long, I might come after." I internally winced at my wording. Freud was probably laughing at me from his grave. In some perverse way I felt guilty for omitting that I was going to receive a damn good fucking.

She seemed to relax a little. "Okay, well, we'll be at the usual table by the bar I expect."

"Okay."

Her arm came up and she touched my hand, causing a spark of desire to ripple into me. Without a word, she dropped her hand again and turned to walk off, that black glossy hair swinging out from her head as she did. I watched it settle back onto her back, wanting to run my hands through it.

I exhaled the tension that had gripped me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I needed to get control of myself, and make a goddamn decision.

I didn't have time to; Annie appeared from the side door. "Scruff!"

"Oh, hey," I sighed, rubbing my temples.

"Well, thanks for the enthusiastic reception," she commented as she pulled me into a close hug, her face mere inches away.

"Sorry, just had a lot happen today."

"Yeah, I have those days too. Look, I'm gonna cut to the chase. I want my fingers inside you as soon as possible. I've been wet all day thinking about fucking you."

That caused a reaction inside me, images of our last session in the toilets running through my mind. Suddenly, her words brought back to me the wink during the show. "Could you see me from on stage?"

"No, but I could see where the spotlight was coming from, so I guessed it was you."

That explained things. A brief wave of relief washed over me. "Good."

"Why?"

"I um...I didn't have any trousers on," I confessed.

Her grin widened. "Shit, seriously? Fuck, I'd love to have fucked you during the show...is anyone up there now?" She peered upwards.

"What, up in the grid? No, I don't think so."