Turnabout Pt. 02

The kids would get through college, and I was confident they would find their mate and marry. Now, the perfect ending I had envisioned from those early days was down the drain. Carrie and I, gray-haired, retired in some lovely country house, Vanessa and Marcus arriving with their spouses and children. The grandchildren would rush out of the cars and run to give us both big hugs and then we would go inside and have a wonderful Christmas holiday.

As I sat there in the antiseptic hotel room kitchen, sitting at that cheap little table, looking at my glass of whiskey, I began crying like a baby. Not very manly, I know, but I felt like such a loser. I hadn't been able to keep my family together. I drained a half glass and poured another. What was coming in the next days? The foundations of my life, family, and marriage were crumbling, and I felt like I was drowning in the quicksand of the situation.

I drained the second glass and felt myself starting to go numb in the alcohol-induced fog. Suddenly the urge to retch came on strong. Was nausea from the Jack sitting in my nearly empty stomach, or was it the end of my marriage? I wasn't sure, but I continued to gulp the whiskey. Being numb had to be a better companion than being coherent tonight.

--*--

I was on auto-pilot for the next few days. I woke up hungover in the mornings but got myself to work and made it through the day. Carrie would text me asking how I was. I told her where I was staying but kept telling her I wasn't ready to talk. I just needed time to think.

The third evening, I was about halfway into my bottle when Josh called.

"Jim. What's going on? Carrie called and said she is very worried about you."

"I'm fine, Josh. Carrie and I had it out, and I'm staying at a hotel for now."

"Jim, Carrie and I had a long talk. I told her I knew the situation since you first caught her with her boss. She is really broken up. She told me she wished you had confronted her then. Now everything seems so out of control."

"Maybe I should have, Josh, but you know I did it for the kids. Remember, how we talked about how it would affect the kids?"

"I know we did, Jim. But when you stuck with her, I thought you got past it."

We were both silent for a moment.

"She told me she caught you screwing a co-worker. I know you told me you were going to do something like that but shit, I didn't believe you. You actually did it."

"Yeah, we were just supposed to be naked, but Carrie was late and it just kind of got out of control. I ended up screwing her, and Carrie walked in on us. I guess she now knows what it feels like seeing your spouse fucking someone else, huh?"

"My God. Yes, I guess she does. When I talked to her, she couldn't keep from crying. When she called, she was saying how she is worried about you Jim. I need to tell you, I'm concerned about her. She is really torn up. I told Kim the whole story last night. She couldn't believe this has gone on for over two years.

"Kim is driving down to be with Carrie. We are not sure it is good for her to be alone right now. Were afraid she might do something stupid. Jim, You need to do something here. This is out of control."

"Yeah, I know, but I don't know what to do. I mean, fuck. Carrie was the one who started all this."

"Jim. You need to stand back and look at all this again. You have been stewing on this for a long time. I know, she made a mistake. A big mistake. But you guys have been together for over 20 years. I think you need to at least talk to her."

"I'm not sure what I would say, Josh."

"Jim, she caught you fucking another woman. Are you sure you haven't exacted enough revenge?"

"That was a mistake."

"Just talk to her, Jim. Your marriage may be over, but you two need to find a way to get through this, even if it ends in divorce."

"Ok, Josh. You are probably right. I'll talk to her."

Maybe I should have called her that night or at least texted her but I couldn't. I put the bottle to my lips and took a couple of big gulps. After my conversation with Josh, I needed the fog to return.

--*--

I texted Carrie the next morning and asked if we could talk. She responded within a few minutes agreeing. I told her I would come over to the house that evening at seven.

Arriving, I didn't want to walk straight in, so I rang the doorbell. Kim came to the door, but I didn't see Carrie.

"Jim, can we talk for a minute before you meet with Carrie?"

"Sure."

"Carrie is very fragile right now. I know you are angry, but please take it easy on her. I'm not sure how much she can take. I'm really worried about her. You're not going to serve her with divorce papers tonight, are you?"

"Kim, I'm not here to break her. I am angry but don't want to hurt Carrie anymore. I want us to try to talk through this and find a path forward.

"Thank you for that, Jim."

"Kim, I do see us ending in divorce, and I'm not going to sugarcoat if for Carrie. Please stay. Just give us some space. You may need to be here for Carrie at the end."

"Sure, Jim. I'll go get her and then wait on the patio. Holler at me if you need me."

--*--

Carrie came into the living room, looking like a prisoner walking to her doom. She had on jeans and a flowered shirt and looked nice, but I was glad she hadn't tried to dress sexy. I'm sure that would have pissed me off.

Carrie looked so vulnerable, like a little girl waiting for a spanking. In all our years I didn't ever remember seeing her like this. My mind went back to the young woman I had met in college and worked so hard to make mine. She had captured my soul from almost the first day at that tailgate party. Now she stood in front of me, her eyes full of tears. She was trying to hold them back, but one slowly ran down the side of her face. Deep sadness was written on her face, but I could still see that beautiful woman I had married all those years ago.

I think when many men, maybe most men, look at our wives, the love of their life, we still see the young girl we married. She may be older and changes may be evident to others, but we still see our young bride. We remember her beauty on that day at the altar, or the day we held her hand as she pushed out our first baby. All of these thoughts were flooding my head. I began to cry. I knew that I did still loved Carrie. I never really wanted to leave her even after the hurt she had caused.

Yet again, a new plan was forming in my head.

"Carrie, I'm so sorry for my part in the pain we have felt in this marriage. I'm sorry that I didn't communicate with you. My pride and ego have contributed to the damage, and for that, I am sorry.

I came here tonight expecting us to start down the path to divorce, but now I want to give us a second shot. I know it's going to be difficult for both of us but would you be willing to let me come home and see how it goes?"

Carrie looked at me like she was confused, a questioning expression on her face. She paused and looked into my eyes. "You aren't going to be fucking Shelly again, right?"

"Oh, god no, Carrie. Not her, not anyone but you, for as long as I live. That is if you want to give us another try?"

"What about you, Carrie? Can you promise to be a one-woman man and always communicate, no matter how bad the situation?

"Of course, Jim. I'm so sorry about everything. I promise to spend my days making up for the pain I caused by my stupidity." The hurt left her face and her eyes brightened.

Carrie leaped into my arms and hugged me as tight as she could and just kept squeezing. I did the same, and we both started crying and fell back, now laying on the couch together. Neither of us spoke. We just held each other and cried. After a few moments we pulled back long enough to look at each other and then she gave me a short kiss, then resumed our hug and our crying.

"Are you two, alright?" Kim was standing just inside the living room. We separated slightly, and both looked at her.

"We are going to get back together and try to work this out," I said. I could see Carrie smiling and nodding her head.

Kim just smiled at us and shook her head.

--*--

Epilogue

In most stories like mine, the couples will struggle to reclaim their marriage, and hopefully, will come out the other side still together. Carrie and I were different. We found a way to move on quickly. I guess we both realized we had made mistakes. Thank god, Carrie isn't one to hold grudges. I'm a grudge holder, but I guess, after 3 years, I had worked it out of my system.

Now, it's many years later, and last week we did have that Christmas holiday, just like in my vision so many years ago. Marcus and Vanessa are both now married, and we have five grandchildren. Yes, five! Carrie and I couldn't be happier.

After the long morning of presents and hot chocolate, our holiday feast was over, the table now bright, and things had quieted in the Carpenter household. We adults were sitting at the large dining table, talking about how life can be so hectic. I looked around, the grandkids had all collapsed with exhaustion, two were sleeping on the couch, a couple on the floor, and the baby had been put into her bassinet.

Vanessa looked at Carrie and me; she was in a reflective mood. "Thank you guys for being such great parents. You guys have always been so solid, and we know you are always here for us." I looked over and Marcus was nodding in agreement. Carrie and I both just looked at each other and smiled.

"I'll make drinks," Carrie said. "Let go out to the patio and enjoy the evening."

"Thank you." I said. "I'll take a Jack, straight up."

The End