All Comments on 'Turning the Tables'

Even with the title I didn’t expect that. Great story

Superb! Love the details that create real and genuine feeling personalities of the characters. I want to know more about the dynamic between Dan and Jen, it's fantastic!

I think your plot idea came across very well, and I say that as someone who is not a fan of maledom or domination of a woman by another woman. I’ve not written anything from those viewpoints and so doubt I ever will. I’m too fond of women to subjugate them in any way (except with their consent 🤫) and I also liked the twist in the tale. A nice lead up to it.

It’s fellatio, by the way, not fallitio. I did think it was a very quick transition for him from a Dom to Sub, although not in his mind, and felt the ending could have been stronger but, all in all, a good story. Different. I like different.

I think you have an opening for a sequel, if not a series, or a much longer story centring on Jen and her club(s). I was a little confused with “any club I’m working at” as you seemed to have made it clear Jen was the owner of an S&M club, not an employee, and that the girls were intended to be working for her there. Dan is a bully who visits her club as a client and fancies himself as a Dom but has to pay for the privilege. You did specify “clubs” at the end but I don’t think describing her as “working” would be right unless you would be intending to write a Mercedes Bends.

I think one of the reasons I liked it is because I’ve just submitted a story, completely different from yours, about a dominatrix hired to take down a wealthy, sexually depraved, misogynist.

Thank you, Emirus, I honestly appreciate it and you hit the nail on the head perfectly. The story is set off a RP I did with a friend to meet his fantasy. He then took it in a direction I didn’t expect, bottoming from the top or topping from the bottom depending on how you view ‘Dan’, acting out until I had to make my other characters react. Personally I would’ve just kicked him out for being an idiot, but it was written RP and a thank you, so he got his fantasy. 

It was so far from anything I would find erotic I have battled with this story for close to a year. Writing it in different POV and first and third person, to finally settle on a deep third person POV of the Domme. I was genuinely concerned about who would enjoy the story, as dominant narrated stories don’t do as well as a submissive narrator, plus the twist was enough of a niche I doubted many Dominants would enjoy it. Being determined, I kept going and decided to submit it and I’m pleased with the reception. 

My editor friend also commented on the ending feeling weak, I always try to calm things and offer a closure to a story, but as you said the same thing I clearly missed that mark. I’ll also just brush over my epic typo. 

I don’t have any plans to continue Jen’s story, it was difficult enough getting this one finished, but I look forward to reading yours when it is published. Thank you again for offering constructive feedback.

...and discovered I glanced over before on my "studies". Not my fav theme, but I read out to check your style and maybe talk about editing/reviewing.

About the story, you really take your time until action unfolds. Nothing bad, but some scenes seem dragged right in the middle of the action.

Also, public can really learn new words from your work. I'm not sure that is common to see porn material depicted with that vocabulary, but I really expanded my eng knowledge tonight (not only that, in fact...)

I'd say you pack some nice ideas, a femdom voyeur, 2 sub slaves and a guy posing as dom, but I didn't see him much sexually active besides the oral.

I see your pimping skills are maxed out by story's background. This gets unreal to a point it starts entering redtube/xhamster screenplay material. Not a bad thing, but if you don't put boundaries to your characters, you can't expand them later. Meaning, femdom lady can't get better in life than owning (several? more than one at least) clubs featuring enslaved women working for her. Yet, she got aroused by one client posing as maledom, out of his goodwil. Seems farfetched, doesn't it?

I hope you take this points as just like my humble opinion and I really enjoyed your work and dedication to this piece. Looking forward to seeing more of this material's high-quality english around Lit!

Thanks!

Your works always excite and astound me. Another spectacular read