All Comments on 'Turning Towards Ohio'

Its not bad, but it just one more, she cheated on me and I immediatly got. More money/a better job and a younger hotter woman story, woth more fantasy than the 3 LOTR books put together. Maybe it got better towards the end, I dont know. i dtopped at page 5. Like I said, its not bad, and if you like that type of story you'll like this one. To me I feel like I already read this a dozen times with different character's names. I wont rate it bc I didnt finished it and doesnt seem fair to do so. just wanted to share my thoughts

Not my favorite of this author's stories. Jane was a moron and screwed her life up really badly. What she should have done was when she was confronted in the restaurant confessed everything and begged for another chance. Her lying and attempts at gaslighting putting the final nail in the coffin. She also shouldn't have let Jason talk her into sex at her Aunt's house. I actually kind of feel sorry for her because she just seems to be so stupid.

@anon - you're a dumb idiot. MC "should have" NOT confronted her. SHE already cheated on him emotionally. He didn't owe the slut ANYTHING. It was HER JOB, HER RESPONSIBILITY to choose him and their marriage, and tell the fuckface to fuck off. SHE HAD ONE JOB!

The mc was a douche as well, when he find out the text, he should have confronted her and just left they had twenty years together for Godsake, maybe he also didn't love her much? Not condoning the actions of the wife but the way mc handled it was just plain stupid, at that point they could have saved their marriage but 20 years of marriage meant shit for both of them I guess. But for the sake of the story it led to where it had to go. Divorce was a foregone conclusion at this point but the second time the wife slept with the ex was purely blackmail. Not saying they should end up being together but the mc was a plain horndog just like the wife. And why does this author mc always runs away without even confronting the cheating wife in all his stories lol

Rick: [It's hard to imagine that after nearly twenty years of being married to each other, Jane decides to go off of the reservation and turn whore.]

=======> an accurate summary. Yes she had an emotional affair on Facebook with the lying, deceitful Jason from her past. No one told her he was married or a former convict. She bought into all his hype. And it was bad enough she went to go.see him under the guise of visiting her family. But really? Why would she immediately jump into bed with Jason. Or.more accurately let him take her there despite her protestations. No dinner. No dancing. No club. No anything. No foreplay. Just 15 pumps and a dump. She wasn't attracted to him in the least when she saw him. His personality on Facebook was essentially catfishing. She had misgivings right away when meeting him again. He was boorish, whiny, irritable, and sleazy. All things she recognized BEFORE learning the truth about his marriage and his personal history. Yet she still let him bed her? Jane was simply a plot device for the MC to find Callie. And not a very good plot device either. She ahd been married for 20 years. They had a daughter together. They had a good and vigorous sex life. Yes she denigrates Bob on her Facebook chats as part of her emotional affair. Clearly she b thought she was missing out on the time she lost with Jason, her first 'love'. But even a moron would need some sort of seduction or impetus to hook up with him right after the airport, not even waiting for her luggage. That was moronic. Reality obviously didn't fit the fantasy. And why cave in to his blackmail sex at her Aunt's party? Makes zero sense. A) She has counterleverage now knowing he is married (she knew in the car ride) and talking ro.her parents. B).Why do it at the party on the side of the house? Asinine! This author had some of the stupidest reasons for wives to cheat, all in order for the aggrieved husband to move on and find a new romance with someone else. Of course combined with her Facebook messages and emotional cheating, her premeditation, and her two liaisons with Jason (though objectively terrible sex), Bob had no choice but to divorce Jane, especially as he told her years ago, he would' t put up with it. But seriously hoe did she immediately get suckered into sex and on top of that not rebuff him at her party, threatening to go to his wife, if he squealed on her. He had just as much to lose as her. He had no job prospects. Had three younger kids. His wife supported him economically. Wtf? But she just caves. Like she did the first time after the airport. Regrets it WHILE it has happening but then caves again. MC misinterpret the video of her second tryst with Jason taking that she was into it. She just used the term she told her husband while making love to get Jason off faster but they ran out of time.before discovery. Seriously so many of the wives from this author are either idiots.or psychotic and often ha e no.clue about contraception (not relevant to this story). Again Jane's cheating was central as a (implausible) plot device so the MC could find new love. But the way it was staged, her getting the fantasy obsession, but when reality hit, she got taken twice by lowlife Jason and her marriage died. Lastly, with everyone the MC knows from Facebook, he doesn't try to intervene? He loses nothing if he intervenes, and yet instead gives up all agency, just reacting to the worst possible outcome after the fact. He can still file for a divirce in a no fault state. She was dumb as a bag of rocks. He was just reacting and let the situation blow up out of control. Meh.

It is the author's responsibility to craft fiction in such a way that it is credible. There is no way Jane would allow herself to be fucked by an obese, immature and rude man-child. Jane's extramarital sex is a lynchpin of the story but is not at all believable. As a result, the story falls apart.

This author often has the loving wives cheat for the strangest reasons. From 'helping' seniors in an old folks home, to 'comforting' homeless men to practicing sex rites as a pagan, to caving to toothless blackmail schemes, to, in this case, Jane screwing her ex for literally not reason, beyond plot device, as we see she has zero attraction for her ex. No emotional strings, zero attraction, no connection, but hey after 20 years of faithful marriage, let's flip out and go bang in a cheap motel. Huh? Misfire.

5 Stars on a story I have read a lot .. Thank You Stang for another winner

I’m a diehard SS06 fan, and I really enjoyed this one. I love idiot wife stories.

Here’s my problem with just about all of SS06’s stories. They’re all pretty much the same.

The most brilliant guy in history, a guy who is so brilliant he either starts or runs a company making huge amounts of money. He is married to either a psychopath or the dumbest women in the world or both. He lives with the psychopath for 20 years and when she does what stupid psychotic women do he gets upset while the real problem is starting back at the MC in the mirror.

I get it that men and women cheat. I get the grass is greener syndrome. But no one, other than a true psychopath, flies out and meets an old boyfriend who can only be described as a huge piece of shit and even after kissing him and finding out there is absolutely no connection she runs right out & jumps in bed with him in a flea bag motel. To be readable a story should have a bit of believability. This one, like many of his stories doesn’t. Sad because when he’s good SS06 is among the best on here.

As usual, this story was well worth the price I paid to read it.

Carry on.

Hmm, dunno how I missed it in the first time, but after rereading, Jane's romp with Jason looks pretty strange. She was not attracted to him, like at all, she didnt liked him physically, nor did she felt any old emotional bonds. So why going into hotel with him? Everything was telling her to at least take a day for second thoughts, but instead she went along and let him fuck her. I would've understand if she was thinking with her twat, but there was no arousal at all.

Like I said, pretty odd behaviour for a 40 yo adult.

Downgrade to 4/5

Hmm, dunno how I missed it in the first time, but after rereading, Jane's romp with Jason looks pretty strange. She was not attracted to him, like at all, she didnt liked him physically, nor did she felt any old emotional bonds. So why going into hotel with him? Everything was telling her to at least take a day for second thoughts, but instead she went along and let him fuck her. I would've understand if she was thinking with her twat, but there was no arousal at all.

Like I said, pretty odd behaviour for a 40 yo adult.

Downgrade to 4/5

Hmm, dunno how I missed it in the first time, but after rereading, Jane's romp with Jason looks pretty strange. She was not attracted to him, like at all, she didnt liked him physically, nor did she felt any old emotional bonds. So why going into hotel with him? Everything was telling her to at least take a day for second thoughts, but instead she went along and let him fuck her. I would've understand if she was thinking with her twat, but there was no arousal at all.

Like I said, pretty odd behaviour for a 40 yo adult.

Downgrade to 4/5

Read this one after "too close for comfort" and really liked it, especially the crazy(or should I say smart) old lady.

But gotta say, these stories felt repetitive in common things. A happy marriage for more than a decade, wife wants to do something stupid, regret it, and then only dig herself further with a possible blackmail.

Well, at least she was unsatisfied in her marriage, and unlike Dahlia had her reasons(and no, its not an excuse, but gives a bit of logic in her actions).

4.5/5

Yay! Aunt Tilley!

This story is so stupid 🙄 but you can't help reading it with a smile on your face so I suppose that means great job author.

Yet another story that is longer than necessary.Why does this author drag every situation out instead of getting straight to the crux of the matter.

really fun story , thanks .

You can’t make everyone happy, I liked the story and the way it was presented. My only question is why you have not submitted a story since 2015?

Disappointing! No worse. A zero if that rating were available.

SS06 is usually careful! Every story I ever read of his top notch. Now this complete BOMB!

After having the room changed he still wrote: "But don't worry, my lady, I came prepared." He reached into the top drawer of the table beside the bed and pulled out a tube of lubricant." So he stashed lube in every room? From here the story just went down hill.

You nailed the twang in Callie's speaking.

5 Stars for a Great Story . Like everyone says no one is everyone's cup of tea . I Like your style of writing and lets not forget the Mustangs . I love the 68 and 69 Boss 302's a lot . My Buddy bought himself a Mustang 500 about 5 months ago . Yes he beat Me to it and I am glad as i got Divorced about 4 months ago and She also liked Mustangs . I will save up My money for a 359 or a Boss . I Love all Muscle Cars from 67 to 71

Great story, a total hoot!! Y'all gotta luv Aunt Tilly that foxy old woman sure knew how to handle the greedy relatives, LOL. Thanks SS06 for another satisfying read

Kind of a short ending. Sweet tough.

It was a good story right until you introduced the bullshit woman by the wayside. Though, i admit it had already suffered majorly when you wrote that she let him fuck her by the side of house. I can understand clouded by fantasy, but not stupidity. She must have known the blackmail would never stop.

Then of course you repeated the prison revelation.

I can maybe give it 2 stars. You had a good thing going, until you fucked it up in the middle and ruined the rest.

4 just because of the written out accents. Even as someone who from West Virginia that was hard to read and I've known people who talk like that.

I love All your books!!! You definitely are a gifted and immense talented artist! I can't stop reading. Ignore the hate and keep working!!

CAN YOU STOP WITH THE FUCKING WRITTEN OUT ACCENT. Writing "she spoke in a southern drawl" is plenty to make even the dumbest reader understand how she speaks. Actually fucking up every sentence a southern person speaks to unreadable gibberish just fucks up the reading flow and accentuates that skipping every word that is spoken (written) in "southern drawl" can be skipped without loosing any part of the story...

Meh, your stories are too repetitive. Just once I'd like to see you write a reconciliation or at least end it with the husband not finding a newer woman

ZEROZEROZERO... I QUIT READING on page 4.... there are some stupid women; but this denies plausibility. Utterly incomprehensible!

Thank you for a very good read, the time went by fast. You have talent. Don't stop.

"We got into the car and put Ohio in our rear view mirror." That's the best place for Ohio, don't forget they have the death penalty for Michigan speeders. Signed: BTW

Nine pages of crap.

What an incredibly stupid slut!! Deserved what she got. But Jason deserved a little something too. Jane didn't try to meet up with "her true love", when she moved back to her home town?! 5 *s.

Great story!!! Southerners don't all talk like Callie...

Best line in the story....." Jason there. He was standing up on one of the tables full of food. Then I saw him squat down and take a shit in the potato salad. The loud noise was Aunt Tilly. She started taking shots at Jason with a huge shotgun, but she kept missing him."

Damn near pissed my pants laughing at that!!

I can think of few stories where I have had less empathy with the lead character. The wife is no bargain, but Bob is an immature baby.

Generally speaking, I like this author well enough and generally don't comment when a plot goes directions that I don't like (artistic/author's license,) but I found myself a bit more disgusted than usual. Give the main character some big boy's pants.

to fuck up their lives even more

Besides Woody Hayes to hate Ohio. Aunt Tilly was a hoot, Ruth Gordon could have played her in the movie. Some years ago I knew a lady, Donna, who was born in Tennessee and later moved to Florida. Her slight southern accent could tame any man on the planet. She was a runner and that tight little ass...

"8-6-7-5-3-0-9" Really? Shades of Tommie Tutone. I don't catch all of the musical jokes, but sometimes... As a side note a few years ago Tampa Bay used this as their batting order.

"Did you call a tow truck?" I asked.

"Ooh, you are so smart!" she said. "Lem' me do that raht now!"

She walked into the middle of the road. With every step, her incredible ass jiggled. She put both hands to her mouth and shouted, "Tow truuuuuuuuuuckkkkk!"

"Callie, what the hell are you doing in my bed?" I asked.

"Having the best tahm of mah lahf, until ya stopped," she pouted.

"Callie, I have a job waiting for me in Arizona. And my divorce won't be final until one hundred and eighty days after Jane signs the papers," I said. "I can't marry you until then."

"So does that mean we kin go?" she asked.

Perfect, just bloody Perfect. Signed: BTW

Keep writing, you have a great imagination. Only thing I found unlikely was her actually having sex with the small, greasy fat guy. 4stars

This started out as a pretty good story, but it turned into a slow burn that descended into a fizzle, that sputtered into a “poof” and a puff of smoke at the end. Oh well, could’a, should’a, would’a.

Nuff said

Hey, if you’re going to give a character an annoying corn pone accent, even differentiate between the types, then you have to commit to the tedious task of using it ALL THE WAY THROUGH, even during the long paragraphs. I know this stuff is free, but have some pride, man.

Great story. Enough said.

It was just as long - and as short - as it needed to be. It provided much of what readers look for in a fictional story: humor, intrigue, betrayal, justice, revenge, etc. I thoroughly enjoyed it, beginning to end. Obviously some readers will complain that this story is similar to all other cheating wife stories; so what? There are only so many ways to write it, only so many variables, and I think they've probably all pretty much been used by now.

Even so, every story has it's unique characters and situations and, in that respect, are new, interesting, and fun to read. Louis L'Amour made a living out of writing Westerns; in some respects, the same story, over and over. And I've read every one of 'em, more than once.

Thanks 'Stang!

Great story. You make my day over and over. Tom

I think the whole point of your story, good as it is, was to put in the one line! You know which one I mean. I am still laughing about it! Outstanding! And a 5 star story it is!

5 from me

You know the ending could have been a bit different? Seeing this is LITEROTICA expect the unexpected! Well I thought that Callie&Bob could have become miraculously pregnant with Twins a BOY& a Girl ? Now that is the ending I like. Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

This story is how it have have should happen, the wife double crossed her family for lost lust. Then when she found her lost rainbow was a shit pile she wanted to go back to what she ran from. I was satisfied her husband was aware and would not allow her to comeback. She wanted to trick him into thinking he is her first choice. The author made him someone not to be swayed by the length of time they were together and the misplaced love he had for her. Her betrayal and actions was deep enough that all feelings he had for June were lost and it sealed their fate as a married Couple. To top it off while in his fight or flight mode he runs into the wonderful Callie. Callie has to be from your imagination, you're correct you could only meet someone like her by accident, how lucky can one man bet who has been having such bad luck have. I do believe in love at first sight and this man was lucky to have found Callie. In your world I also believe the husband shouldn't be fucked twice against his will first by a Cheating wife and the court system which would more than likely would give her more than her fair share and make him pay forever. Men control most things in law and government, how ca the allow the divorce laws to be so one sided? I am satisfied with the way you handled most of the final part by not telling to greedy family members of the aunts deception. My only comment is that I felt it was too wordy. Don't misunderstand I liked the story very much in its current state.

The ending was just great.

Nice story, a lot of interesting characters and a satisfying ending.

Thanks for the story.

SFVET here, Enjoyable yarn and one of your better efforts. Please keep it up and I look forward to reading more of your stuff. And, please, don't let the negative bastards get to you.- they're not in the trenches doing the work.

He leaves his wife and then meets the future love of his life on the road out of town. Seriously! At least give the readers some respect and try and write a plot that is not stupid.

This is the Alphabetical Reader. You know I love all of your stories. I especially like the one where she gets a second chance and doesn't fuck it up. I think you're still writing because I saw a few dated in 2015. When can we expect a book?

May your road be smooth and the Trooper be few.

Take care.

I really liked this one.

One small point - If you come to a three-way junction and the centre road heads west, then surely it's the left hand road that heads south, not the right hand one?

Damn, must y'all be so judgmental about a story? Hello?

It was funny, not too realistic, but not implausible, and just a neat piece of fluff. Good job, Stang!

tin soldiers and ponies. TK U MLJ LV NV

I was pretty sure that Stang had written something that I found interesting once or twice, but this is just so ridiculous and utterly superficial.

had a couple of extra bends. and by the time he had turned toward ohio, Arizona was calling.

the references to JPB and others were fun tidbits, as well as singing along to telephone numbers.

thanks again

Jane got catfished without a doubt but if Jason had been on the up and up, she'd have dumped Bob in the blink of an eye...

While her heart and body clearly loved Bob, her mind was running this show. It compared Bob of now to a fantasized version of Jason now based off of a romanticized version of Jason then at which point it mugged her heart to keep it quiet and drug her body along for the ride. Just a bit unfair to a man who actually had to age like a real person during those twenty years.. especially one you're supposed to have loved.

A fantasy like that should never leave the confines of your own head unless your PLAN is to hurt your spouse.

For her, it was all over but the paperwork the moment she said things like "My one and only true love." Even if she'd never gotten on an airplane how could a husband trust anything that a wife said from that point forward - well, except for things like "I want a divorce."

The instant timing of running into Cassie was "duh" but why waste pages taking us where we knew you would go anyway... =)

But I liked Cassie too - she had some depth without being a caricature. And the Aunt Tilly angle - priceless.

I really don't understand the comments that attack the author. This author puts his time and energy into writing a story. If you don't like or agree with the story that is fine but why attack the author. If you read SS06's stories you will probably find a wife who makes stupid choices, a mustang or two, a bubble-gum chewing process server, a second girl (woman) who really loves the guy, and a humorous line or two. I enjoy his stories but I don't try and talk everyone else to enjoy them. They are what they are.

As to this story, she cheated before she ever got on the plane. She had everything all set up with her fantasy ex-boyfriend before she ever left home. At that point the relationship was over-in my opinion. Why should the husband fight for something that he had no control over? She was cheating on facebook with Jason. Was the husband going to tie her up and keep her home. She was making plans in her head on how to dump her husband and remain with the ex-boyfriend fantasy. Who cares that he was a bum and lousy lover, she cheated not once but twice. She deserved everything that happened to her...the husband did nothing wrong-in my opinion. I actually liked Callie and the old aunt, and the southern accent.

Thanks for writing an enjoyable and entertaining story. I appreciate it and will keep reading your stories...some a second and third time.

Only one thing could possibly have made this story better. Doctors screw up all the time, and having Called get pregnant would have made the story absolutely perfect.

Great story and love how anony. hates it

Another cookie cutter masterpiece! Felt like I was there, and dying of boredom right from the beginning. A rubbish effort, obviously written by a wanker.

Thank yew! Y'all done a fine job on this'n, ah dew declair. Y'all come back now, heah? Cheers!

Great story I loved it, I really liked the line "or is it ""just plain Bob"".

And I agree with you about the deep-south accent of the women, I have spent 90% of my 76 years in the South and I love it. I have lived in LA and the last 15 years in MS, lucky me. South Louisiana, Low SC, middle GA on south, all that area and other places, too. Parts of TN. Since I am from Arkansas I don't notice the accent until it really drips off their tongues. I enjoyed your attempt and that of your editor to try to represent it and it was entertaining but mostly ya'll did not touch it but A for effort. Thank you for trying and for your story.

I enjoyed the story but would have preferred reading a lot more about Callie while spending less time rehashing the same events from multiple perspectives.

Giving a bit of individual perspective about events is necessary to help flush out characters but too much of it causes the story to start to drag. Besides, Callie was a much more interesting character. Her life and interaction with Bob made for a much richer and enjoyable read than simply rehashing events from Jane's perspective that had already been covered through Bob's.

Does SS06 ever write a terrible story. Not that I have seen but some are better than others. Bottom line all our worth the time to read - not like I had to buy the story.

I will agree with a comment by Drbeamer3333, it probably would have made a better story. I believe SS06 has gone in that direction or near there before to the best of my thinking in one of his past stories. Of course if you look at all his stories that is becoming a large body of work. Of which I will Thank you very much for writing and sharing. So please keep writing and I will keep reading

Enjoyable and fun story especially thr characters, I liked them all except for Jason. I felt bad for Jane but she screwed herself and she has herself to blame. The southern drawal was fun and well done. Thank you for your effort.

one of your best. I think I read it before but enjoyed it just as much. I actually picked it as it appears to be the newest listing. Are you still writing?

I give 5 stars for your usual entertaining writing and panache, but I subtract an imaginary one (not counted!) for leaving me sad. Stories about long loving relationships going up in flames are tragedy- there aren't really winners, even if the man is gifted with a hot rebound babe. Nothing is sadder than a person just about to enter into the golden years with a loving spouse, then losing it all. Doesn't matter if they deserve it. I empathize with the poor woman who tossed it all away, even though she was a true idiot and a moron. Being lonely the rest of your life is something many of us fear- one car crash, cancer, any number of things can screw our lives up. I guess it could have summarized this quicker by saying I'm just not a BTB guy... Definitely not a BTOB (burn the old bitch) guy unless the woman is truly despicable.

okay for 1 you fucked up the story 2 is callie retarded ? no one speaks like that 3 the part of callies story dont do that again that fucked it up for me big time

A common characteristic of Stang's stories is the introduction of a new love interest. This comes across as some kind of reward for the wounded husband. He gets screwed by the wife, but in the end is rewarded with a better woman. It's too convenient. It also gets in the way of the story. What would he have done had he not met Callie? I'm not saying he would have taken her back under those circumstances. I think he was right to leave. However, I like the human element - two characters working through their emotions and trying to find reason in the situation. When a new love interest appears at the 11th hour and steal the guys heart, it robs us of true resolution and prevents the wounded husband from making an enlightened decision. If my wife hurts me and I run away only to bump into JLo (who falls madly in love with me), it's end of story. The decision to leave has been made for me. I'd be an idiot to go back to the wife. This is how most of Stang's stories go. Once he met Callie, I was tempted to simply stop reading the story. I immediately knew what was going to happen. So, should he have tried to stop her before she went too far? After he read her emails, she had already gone too far. Plus, once he met Callie, the twenty years was no longer a factor in his thinking. That seemingly significant factor, suddenly became a nonfactor.

I am all for reconciliation when someone makes a onetime stupid mistake, but not for something like this wife planned. The hubby did not have the luxury of the wife's private thoughts, as did the reader. Her thoughts on the plane comparing hubby to her old flame were simply cruel. Plus, she had every intention of leaving for good. Doesn't matter that she snapped out of it pretty quickly and realized that she had just been caught up in the memories. What if the guy had remained a stud? She only snapped out of it because hubby turned out to be better. In reality, hubby was just the lesser of two evils. I do realize that human nature has a tendency to glamorize old memories. We often do it innocently enough. I do believe this is what happened to her, and she was not malicious. She genuinely loved her husband. She just realized that too late. He may not have had the readers perspective, but he did read her emails. That was very damaging.

@Karene

You should check out Stangs section on Sol as there are 5-6 ones over there that haven't been posted here along with a few that have different endings.

As for stepping in and stopping Jane from visiting her fuckbuddy, how would he ever be able to trust her after wards? She had to be the one to decide not to cheat. Hell she was already planning on dumping her husband of twenty years before she even saw dipshit never mind fucking him, so she got exactly what she deserved IMHO.

I've been going through Stang's stories, catching up on the few I haven't read, skimming and voting on the rest after refreshing my memory.

I did comment on this earlier about her foolishness, but I'd like to second the comment that someone else made, why didn't he just confront her right away? Wasn't 20 years worth that much?

When you cheat on a loving, faithful spouse you do not wind up in the happily ever after category. The bad people were screwed over and the good became happy. And Aunt Tilly was a hoot. Great tale.

Five Stars

as usual SS06. Though she had a minor role my favorite character was Aunt Tilly. Pulled a fast one on the whole greedy bunch of them. Keep up the great writing.

I do like to read stories were the husband wins and is not a walked over by a cheating, cuckolding wife.

Though the story could have been condense down to half of the original length.

Still a good read and a enjoyable plot.

I never really get tired of your stories. As a bona-fide Southerner myself, I have to admit the accents in this one were pretty funny to read (though not totally off the mark). Keep em' coming Stang!

Dude I've been readiing all your stories and even read some of the great stories more than 4 times and never got old... thanks and hoping for more.. I thought you stop since its been a while...

I saw some references to other authors there, good job! :)

love your stories. it makes my day to read one.

You write almost the same stuff every time. This could have been done in 2 pages. Boring as bat shit.

Too boring

Too stupid

Loved it! Thank you for sharing your stories with us!

Keep up the good work!

That was the best "Gotcha" ending I've read in a long time! Thanks, Stanger! Jim.

Standard middle age wet dream. Guy trades in his unfaithful wife on a younger model, everything he touches turns to gold and his wife ends up destitute, pining for her previous lost life. Nothing wrong with that but it has been done better. 3*

Nine pages? I heard an American thriller writer give a talk at a literary lunch on the radio. He read out 1000 words from the second draft of his latest book describing his hero climbing a guard tower and shooting a terrorist. It was full of descriptions of the tower, the weather, the gun, the rounds he was using, etc.

He then read how it finished up in the book, it was eleven words, "he climbed the tower and shot the terrorist between the eyes." Sometimes less is more.

I miss his writing. This story...not so much. Nine pages...really?

First I like the style of writing. I flows well. I haven't read that many of your stories so I can't speak as to the sameness of them. But this story disturbed me. I sympathized too much with the wife. After 20 years of marriage with her only child leaving the nest she found herself in a rut that she didn't even realize. As much as her husband loved her things hadn't changed (except for the loss of her daughter) in years. Then out of nowhere came an old flame. Different people process memory differently. I remember and dwell on my failures. She, like my wife, remembered the good parts with rose colored glasses and when Jason started the sweet talk the glasses went to work. Hubby then shut down alllll that love instantly. He was 3/4 out the door even before she left. He didn't even try. So much for true love. Then not a half day after leaving the "love of his life" he finds the real "love of his life". Poor baby. If Bob loved Jane as much as he said he did then a reconciliation would have been not only possible but likely and I'm normally a btb person. As written it makes Obamacare working as promised more believable.

Having said that I'm going to read another of your stories. If your writing professionally you need to write for a public who will buy your work. Here your writing for yourself and sharing with others. If you wrote this but somehow felt dissatisfied with it re-read my criticisms otherwise ignore the cr*p I wrote above and all the other nay sayers and write another story.

Loved it but I've been missing your great stories.

It was perfect. Don't wait so long for the next one.

From a big fan!!!!!!!

I have always liked your stories, But Jane's name should've been Jenny.

By the end of page #1: the husband is ready to divorce. Because the wife is flirting on Facebook. Twenty years of marriage isn't worth the effort of a confrontation.

By the end of page#2: the wife is ready to leave her husband. For a man she has not met in 20 years.

This story is a cuckoo clock. Your first 10 or so paragraphs are the windup !

I did like the character of Rick. He was funny and original!!

And another thing.... oh sorry . I see, I forgot ..uhmm . My better half tells me since I paid nothing I need to keep my complaints to myself.

SS06 another fine effort. 3*s. Can't wait for your next story .Thanks

AMerryMan

It's humorous how some people knock ss06's work yet, they keep coming back. Ss06 keep writing and I'll keep reading.

SS06 has a particular style of writing and for the most part his stories follow a similar pattern. Not all follow this pattern but most. Since that is well known, why do people who dislike his writing even bother reading his stories. That seems fairly masochistic.

Of course, he has and does try to stretch his writing, and those who love his basic formula often attack those attempts. However at least you understand why they read his stories.

I enjoy his basic story, his writing style and humor. Sometimes he executes the stories better than others, but I love his efforts. I also enjoy the times he stretches his skills and appreciate his willingness to share those efforts.

M

What are you talking about? You haven't posted anything here since April 8th ..

Maybe at the other site. But NOT here.

Back to the story.

AMerryMan

It's the same story again and again and again. Only this time with way more continuity errors and a god awful attempt at writing accents!

At least this one was less misogynistic than some of your worst, it's not like you've stopped being so obviously bitter and hating women you just managed to go without anyone being overtly raped in this one. So, one star for that at least.