All Comments on 'Twelve Realms Ch. 01-02'

I didn't read the story, but I chose one big paragraph to review before I decided to if I was going to read this.

Get rid of words like: incremented, solicitude, compunction, etc. They do not fit the overall linguistic style of your story. Those are ten-dollar shortcut words that throw people out of the simple flow of the vocabulary making up the rest of your writing. I've taken my GRE's, but I don't want to read someone else practicing for theirs.

Anyway, I'm going to read the story, but those words and those kinds of words in the general narrative do not fit, and they knock me right out of your story. You might be saying, "I'm not going to dumb down my writing" but if you remove those cheat words, and use simpler words that draw a person into the story, then you're not dumbing it down, you're immersing your reader into your world.

There's a time a place for those words and that's when you need to get to the point in STEM papers, but otherwise, they aren't story telling words (unless you have a POV character that thinks and speaks that way, but then you have to smarten up the rest of their POV narrative as well.)

I have to admit, at first this comment upset me. I do want readers to be happy, after all.

But then I was flabbergasted, flummoxed, and perhaps even baffled by the fact that anyone would take the time and effort to pen such a screed after having read only a single paragraph of my work. I mean, Anonymous (can I call you Anonymous?), can you explain your purpose here? You can use words of whatever size you choose in order to explain. That’s what I do.

I am quite literally decades past caring about GREs and whatnot; my vocabulary comes entirely from gleaning words from what I read. There isn’t a single word in any of my stories that isn’t a well-worn part of my everyday conversational vocabulary. I find it fun to try to find the perfect word in any situation, and it brings me great joy on those occasions I am successful. By your comment here, Anonymous friend, you do nothing more and nothing less than try to take the fun and joy out of my writing experience. Well, I won’t change my writing for you. If my vocabulary is so off-putting, I suggest you find other writers more to your liking. There must be a few that meet your standards.

Decades past? You're old: Gross.

Flabbergasted, flummoxed, and baffled? Are you a cartoon?

You throw pretentious words into an otherwise simply written narrative. Choose one or the other.

giggle cackle guffaw snort

It's been... entertaining, Anonymous friend, I will say that. Since you're so full of advice, how about I give you some? You might consider taking yourself a bit less seriously. I'm honestly slightly embarrassed for you.

Have fun.

That last comment and or insult was a fallacy, because 'taking myself seriously' was never in conversation. If you want to bow out, do so, and gracefully, don't use smoke. Children do that.

perfectly fitting in a romantic narrative.

i learned some of my earliest fanciest words

reading 'savage sword of conan' comics as a kid;

the sword n sorcery genre (i assume sorcery will ensue?)

is perfectly suited to fantastical vocabulary.

carry on and refrain from taking undue umbrage

from the egregious rantings of obstreperous anon trolls.

I am absolutely in love with this tale and that was only the beginning! You know a story is good when you become fully immersed and everything else falls away except for the story. Thank you :)