Twenty Cups Ch. 04

"Emma, you shouldn't."

But, Emma's face didn't reappear. Something happened back there, again.

"Oh!" Lia cried. "Oh, Em, you mustn't." The conviction in her voice faded with the last word.

A moment later, Lia's astonished expression melted into slow rapture. Her next utterance was a long, high moan of exquisite satisfaction. She leaned her face into my penis and stretched her lips at the shaft to kiss it, but before she could, she pinched her eyes shut and moaned again. She laid the side of her head on my thigh, letting her lips rest on my erection and, every so often, dabbing the jutting shaft with her tongue.

I caressed her hair, alternately watching her face and her bottom. Only the top of Emma's head and her frizzy curls peaked up from behind. Em's face was low and deep. The little movements of her head told me Emma was toiling away, energized.

Lia began to hold her breath, letting it out of her gaping mouth in high-pitched gasps. When she opened her eyes, she started panting. Her eyes were locked on my penis. I felt the puffs of air whisk across it. Then, Lia and I made eye contact. She seemed to be struggling for life, enduring a pleasure so intense that it was a kind of agony.

Lia's arms wrapped around my waist and clenched me. Her eyes snapped shut. She cried out. Her body began to writhe, and I saw Emma's hands vanish from Lia's bottom. They reappeared, wrapped around Lia's thighs, gripping firmly.

Lia's orgasm unleashed. She wailed without inhibition.

Emma never stopped, not until it was over.

As Lia's cries diminished into airy sighs, I looked down at her face. Her eyes were closed. It was the line of her jaw that arrested me. She wheezed—so softly—and the gentle slope of her jaw, under her cheek, looked so perfectly feminine at that moment. I thought she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

Emma's face reappeared, and she licked Lia's bottom, sliding her tongue over each cheek, kissing here, there.

It awakened Lia. She opened her eyes, and my penis was still there, still hard. Pushing herself up, she licked her lips, took a breath, and lowered her head over it.

Emma looked at me with a grin.

I muttered, "Her anus, Em."

She glanced down, right into Lia's exposed spot, and back to me. There was a moment. Then, Emma's face sank between the two spheres of Lia's bottom.

I knew she'd done it when Lia moaned into my penis.

The surge of excitement, as I saw Emma's face dip and heard Lia moan, rocked me. From being reasonably excited, my penis soared toward imminent orgasm. I clutched for the cup on the desk beside me.

"Lia! Oh, my gosh!" I grunted. "Oh, that feels so amazing."

I glanced at Emma.

She winked at me, stuck out her tongue, and dipped towards Lia's anus.

"Lia!"

The orgasm felt like a series of small explosions. Each pulse was a sharp peak of pleasure.

Lia's lips held tight, and she reacted to the barrages of semen loosing into her mouth with a long, low hum.

"More," I grunted.

Lia moaned into my erection. The squeezing contractions fired recklessly in her mouth.

"More, Lia."

My penis throbbed a few more times, and I let out the huge breath I'd been holding. I sank back into the chair.

Lia's palm appeared by my waist, her fingers curled inwards twice: give me it.

I put the cup in her hand.

Emma crawled up beside me, and we watched Lia let my sperm slide through her lips, filling the cup.

Lia screwed the lid on and set it on the desk. She collapsed in my lap, my slowly deflating erection sagging down on her face.

Em edged closer and laid beside Lia in my lap, facing her. She whispered, "Did you like it?"

Lia nodded.

Emma smiled, and then she drew my penis from Lia's cheek and brought it to her mouth. She sucked on it softly, not trying to start anything new, but more as if she just liked having it in her mouth.

Rubbing her back, I asked, "Em, want me to do you?"

She pulled my penis out of her mouth and said, "Another time. I just want to rest a bit." Then, she put it back in her mouth and sucked gently.

***

While I dated and placed the 14th sample in the freezer, Lia called Mom and told her that she and Emma had been successful—they convinced me to fill the day's cup. The deed was done; she could relax now.

I caught the end of their conversation as I walked up the stairs and into Emma's room.

"Mom, why are you asking all of these questions? We have the sample; that's all that matters...what?...No, Mom, Emma did not help him ejaculate...I don't know! Ask her!"

I glanced at Emma.

She shook her head: Mom was being Mom.

Lia continued. "I'm not answering that question...No, that's not why. I'm not answering because you need to quit worrying about us. The sample's in the freezer and...Oh, my gosh, Mom!" Lia quit speaking for a moment, and then her voice rang out. "Yes, okay? Yes! I did help him. I sucked on his penis. I sucked my brother's penis, and I liked it. I loved it. Is that what you want to hear? ...You're such a hypocrite! You like doing it, too. Don't even say you don't...Bye, Mom. I'm hanging up, now. Bye."

Lia snapped the phone down and pressed the end call button. She glanced at Emma and I. Shrugging her shoulders, she said, "I can't lie to her. I just can't. Sorry."

I walked over and kissed her cheek.

She looked up at me and asked, "Do you have any condoms?"

I shook my head. No.

"Then, I'm going to buy some tonight."

***

The house was deadly silent when Mom came home. She didn't speak to anyone. She didn't say a word as she prepared dinner. When I set the table, she didn't even look at me. When Emma served, nothing. We sat and ate in silence.

Halfway through our chicken-broccoli soup, Mom turned to me and said, "I had an email exchange with Blair this afternoon."

My spoon paused briefly on its way to my mouth. I felt the girls looking at me.

"It seems," Mom continued, "you haven't told us everything about Christmas morning."

I swallowed the spoonful, and as casually as I could, asked, "What about it?"

"She had a lot to say."

"What'd she say?"

Mom sighed. "Oh, young man, what she says doesn't really matter now." She brought her napkin up and dabbed her lips. She set it back down and said, "What really matters now is what you say. So talk. I think you owe us that."

My sisters were frozen, staring at me, waiting.

My head suddenly grew hot. My heart thumped away. My chest felt hollow. My stomach filled with fear.

Blair had told me she wouldn't say anything. Why had she told? How did Mom get her to admit it? Was it guilt?

Did Mom really know?

I scanned her face. It was a mask of confidence. Would she look that way if she knew the truth? I didn't know.

There was no more time to think. Every elapsed second worked against me.

"I'm sorry, Mom. Didn't mean to do it. Just happened. I hated myself for it after."

I glanced at Lia and Emma, and they looked alarmed and confused. I looked at Mom. The confidence was gone. I couldn't quite read her. Was it shock? Fear?

Did she ever really know? Had this a been a trap?

"Tell us," she uttered, and her voice trembled.

I scanned the table for an ally or a look of compassion. None.

"I...I had sex with her, but..."

Mom shot up out of her chair. Stepping toward me, her hand whipped across my face once, twice, three times in machine gun succession. She stepped back and her face grew so red it was almost purple. Visibly trembling, she stared at me and shook her head. Then, she screamed at the ceiling, an agonized, mournful howl. Turning, she left the room in silence. I heard her footfalls on the stairs. I heard her bedroom door slam shut.

The moment I turned to Emma, her hot soup splashed into my face. She left, following Mom.

Lia remained. Her eyes were red and glassy. "Mom was right all along. You tricked us. You lied." She wiped her eyes quickly, sniffed, and said, firmly, "You lied to me." Saying those words seemed like they almost made the whole thing real for her. She burst into sobs and, covering her face, followed Mom and Emma.

I sat alone at the table, covered in chicken broccoli soup.

Lia would not be purchasing any condoms that night, I supposed.

***

I cleaned up the kitchen, thinking.

It didn't seem like Mom had really known. Blair, I thought, had to have told her something else.

Or it had been a trap?

Mom had known something strange had taken place that morning. She just didn't know what. So, did she pretend to know in order to get me to talk?

That seemed the most likely answer.

Dang it.

I deserved their anger. I really did.

But, I also thought, I really didn't. I just never got the chance to explain everything before Mom exploded on me.

To me, the only tricking I had done was when I shut off the wifi that morning before Mom helped me. The other stuff? The questions I'd asked? The times I'd said I wanted to learn when, what I really wanted, even more than learning, was the sex?

Those weren't lies. I did want to learn. I did want answers. I just also wanted sex.

Was that tricking? Was that lying?

And, Blair. Damn it. I needed to explain to the girls what had happened. Maybe they would understand if they knew how it all went down that morning.

Or, maybe they didn't care anymore.

***

Over the next two days, I filled the cups in my room, alone. I wasn't in the mood. I didn't want to, but I also didn't want to upset anyone, especially Mom, more than I already had.

Nobody spoke to me for those two days; I had a lot of time to think. When I wasn't thinking, I spent most of my time out with friends, trying to forget.

But, by the end of that second day, my shame was maturing into resentment.

I needed information. I needed the backstory, and I didn't care how mad Mom was anymore. It didn't matter that she was sound asleep and that it was after 1:00am. I went into her room and closed the door behind me.

I shook her awake, but gently.

"What is it, baby?" she muttered upon waking and seeing me. Her voice was without the hard edge. In it, I could sense that I had not been forgiven, but that, perhaps, she was too tired to fight with me just then.

"Sorry to wake you. No emergency. I can't sleep because I need to know what happened with Dad, with my father."

My words awakened her, and she sat up in bed. When I instinctively glanced at her breasts, bulging from her white silk nighty, she drew the comforter up and over them.

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Everything that's happened. There's a connection, and I know it. I need to know what it is."

She didn't speak.

"Mom. Please."

She cleared her throat, adjusted her pillow and laid down on her side, back to me.

I guessed the conversation was over and made to leave.

"He had an affair when I was pregnant with Lia," Mom started. "Confessed it to me after she was born. Promised it would never happen again. I forgave him, and I told him I didn't want to know who the woman was. Things were good between us after."

I listened, feeling anger surge inside me.

She continued. "Then came Emma and you, almost back-to-back. Those were tough years for us. I think he was overwhelmed—he didn't have any job security at the time, and he had a toddler and a pregnant wife. Then, a year later, he had an infant, a toddler, and a pregnant wife. I knew I was losing him; I just refused to admit it."

She sighed.

"But, once you were born and when we found out about your HFI, he was a new man, your father. He devoted himself to us, and you, especially. I told myself I had been wrong, forgot about my doubts."

Mom remained silent for several long moments.

"Blair came to see me when you were about four. She had been living here back then, in town. She was finishing med school. She was crying, and she told me that she'd been having an on and off affair with your father for years, mainly during my pregnancies. Your father knew Blair was going to tell me, and he never came back. I never saw or heard from him again."

She started crying.

"He couldn't handle failing me twice, I think." Mom sniffed and wiped her nose. "I would have forgiven him. I may not have loved him like when we first married after that, but I would have let him continue to be a father to the three of you. I would have tried to be his wife."

She sighed again, and then she rolled over, facing me. She wiped her eyes and cleared her throat.

"I forgave Blair. I was upset, of course, but I understood. Blair always had soft-heart for desperate men. She couldn't get enough of them. Your father was charming and handsome, made us laugh. I didn't make myself available to him, sexually, during and after my pregnancies. Some women can't get enough when they're pregnant. I wasn't like that. And Blair, well, she just loved sex and men." Mom paused, staring past me at the big mirror in her vanity area. "I think as she got older, it became less about her love for them and more about her love for being loved. She lost her sweetness, I think."

I nodded.

She looked at me. "That enough?"

I nodded.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you until now. It must have been difficult. I should explain it to your sisters."

"Mom, can we have a family dinner tomorrow?"

She stared at me, confused.

"I'll make something for us. I need to say something to you all."

She nodded, saying, "Go get some sleep." Then, she rolled over, putting her back to me as I left.

***

For the third day in a row, I provided my sperm sample with no assistance, and I knew that the final three cups were going to be filled the same way.

I didn't care anymore.

All I wanted was to have my family not hate me. So, I set up this dinner with the intent of making amends and giving myself the opportunity to explain what had happened between Aunt Blair and me.

I called a college buddy of mine who liked to cook and had him send me his Mom's recipe for ribs, something he bragged about incessantly back at school.

A buddy of mine took me to the grocery store, and I picked up everything I would need.

I put two foil-wrapped half-racks of ribs in the oven at four in the afternoon. By five, the kitchen was smelling really, really good. By 6;30, when I took them out, I knew they were perfect.

I served ribs, bacon-onion green beans, and cornbread.

"Thanks for being here. Wanted to apologize for what I did. Wanted to explain what happened on Christmas morning. When everyone's done eating, I'll begin."

They ate, and I know they loved it. All the ribs disappeared. No one said anything nice, though.

After I cleared the table I sat down and began.

I started with Blair's examination. I explained how angry I was that I had to let my aunt examine my penis and testicles. I told them what she did; I mentioned all the questions that she asked me, including about my virginity. Then, I told them how she said she needed to examine my penis while it was erect.

"I told her no," I said. "And she kind of laughed me off. She was standing next to me, and she started touching my testicles. I asked what she was doing, and she said she was giving me an erection."

Mom stared at me, frozen. "You told her no and she did it anyway?"

I nodded. "But, I didn't struggle with her, Mom. I should have."

I told everyone how her voice became soft, and how she wanted to know how I felt about different sex acts. I told them how Blair seemed surprised that I was a virgin.

"Wait. She asked you twice about being a virgin?" Lia interrupted.

I nodded.

I admitted how I grew aroused and very hard from her touches. I mentioned that Blair unbuttoned her blouse to show more cleavage. I described the various things Blair did to examine my penis—the stethoscope and the blood pressure cuff.

Mom raised her hand to stop me. "Blair took a blood pressure reading on your penis?"

I nodded.

"She inflated it?"

I nodded.

Mom shook her head in apparent astonishment.

I continued, owning up to the fact that I told Blair to suck on it, and how she began to kiss it.

They stared at me, listening.

I told the girls what Blair said about never sucking off a virgin and how she basically ordered me to lick her vagina. Finally, I told them about the sex. I explained how, just before I penetrated her, I stopped, knowing how much it would upset my Mother and sisters.

I said, "I don't know if I would have stopped completely. I really don't, but it didn't matter because the next thing she did was wrap her legs around me and pull me inside her. At that point, I just couldn't have stopped."

I finished by telling them how she finished me with her hand into the cup and left.

I did not mention what she said about me and my father.

"Know it doesn't change what happened. Know I still let you all down. And I know saying sorry isn't enough. I just couldn't leave you without explaining how it happened."

I looked at each of them in turn, and I began to think that, maybe, I had made some progress. They weren't looking at me like I was a toilet stain anymore.

Still, no of them spoke.

I continued. "I have my follow up appointment in four days, and I'm going to stick around and finish what I have to do, but I just wanted you all to know that, when that's done, I'm heading back to school. The dorms reopen that day, and I can hitch a ride with a buddy who's driving through town on his way that afternoon."

Mom's eyes widened. Lia's grew glassy. Emma's head sank to her chest.

"I figure I can find a place down there for the summer, get a job. I know some guys who have an apartment, and they'll let me crash."

Mom drew back from the table, whispering, "You're leaving us?"

I nodded. "I've lost your trust. And I just don't know," I said, "that I can trust myself around the three of you anymore. You're all too kind, too amazing, too beautiful. I can't be here. I shouldn't."

Mom started weeping. Lia and Emma glanced at each other.

I said what I needed to, so I got up and went to do the dishes.

Mom about ran from the table, and I heard her sobs as she went upstairs.

Lia came over and hugged me. Emma sat at the table, apparently dejected. I continued washing, muttering, "I'll miss you, and I'm sorry."

Lia walked over to Emma and put her hand on Emma's shoulder. I overheard her ask Emma to come and check on Mom. They left.

When all was cleaned up, I grabbed my big blanket and laid on the couch. No one came downstairs for a very long time.

It was after 8:30pm when Lia finally came into the family room.

She sighed and said, "Mom's a wreck. Emma's staying up there with her until she falls asleep."

I nodded.

"It's like before, like when Dad left us. That's how she is again."

I nodded.

I felt her eyes studying me. Finally, she said, "I don't like it that you slept with Aunt Blair."

I nodded.

"But," she went on, "I believe what you said. She lured you into it. She tricked you."

"Thanks for believing me," I muttered.

"I'm sorry I got so upset. You're still our fuzzy boy, and I love you."

"Thanks, Lia. Love you, too."

She walked over and kissed me on the head. I turned toward her, and she kissed my lips. "I'm going to check on Mom, again."

A minute later, Emma came down. She sat on the floor beside the couch, face towards the television, and said, "Thanks for telling us what really happened."

I nodded.

"I hate that bitch Blair."

"Me, too," I said.

"I can't believe she seduced you."

I nodded.

"And the way she did it! It was like she was preying on you or something."

"How I felt about it, too, after."

She turned to me. "Forgive me for doubting you?"

I nodded. "Forgive me for letting it happen?"

She smiled and nodded.

I said, "Love you, Em."

She turned away from me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Facing me she said, "I should tell you..." She trailed off.