All Comments on 'Twenty-One Year Old Virgin'

A little better proof-reading would get rid of the typos. The plot was fine until the abrupt ending. I think you should reconsider how you lead your reader to anticipate the main character simply leaving while she was in the bathroom, and you should also consider the more likely possibility that he would stick around for at least one more fuck before leaving and not thinking about her any further. Also, it's a sign of a beginning writer when you have to use reference to cup size to describe a woman's breasts. So, although you probably only earned 3 stars, I'm giving you 4 because some of the story shows good potential for better stories in the future.

I would like to read more so if u could do a follow up that would be great, an the endind was pathetic, but great story line, so I realy hope you do a follow up on this 1.