All Comments on 'Twisted Valentine'

Fantastic romantic story

5stars

Very interesting!

4

Thanks for comments. Any suggestions for improvement?

A fantastic read!

Thank you!

The one improvement we could wish for with this wonderful romance would be more of it. How do they continue their romance? Will they have children? Your writing is very emotional and seductive, please give us more of it!!

What a quirky, but lovely story.

If I had to criticize, a few things come to mind. The plot develops too quickly, the actual change of her personality Sally talks about near the end is not really felt in the story itself, and I wish the story was longer. Like long enough for them to face his mother longer.

Character growth is likely obscured because characters aren't overtly demonstrative enough in the story (demonstrative in the sense to make things enough for reader to notice those things). Overall, the whole thing feels more like it progresses because external will is driving it forward rather than interaction of characters driving it forward. For example, the scene where Sally puts a blindfold on him and ties him for the first time should have been much slower and longer, with more emphasis put on how they felt each step of the way and why he'd suddenly let her do all that. Same applies for when he dominated Sally for the first time. You imply how they feel instead of tell or demonstrate enough, so good part of it is lost, depending on each reader.

That said, things that I loved is the atypical romance the two had, including opening up their unusual fetishes to each other, and the joining at all levels, intellectually, as friends, confidantes, and (kinky) lovers. Where others often focus on the whole D/s thing, you made it into something that made the romance more wholesome and heartwarming.

Keep up the good work and thank you for the story.