Two Backpacks

Eastern Europe, outskirts of a local capital, middle of nowhere

The old bus was squeaking and jumping as it drove on an unmaintained country road. On a warm summer day, it was crowded and stuffy inside. Two pairs of strangers were forced to share four chairs facing each other, despite having large bags. No privacy, no place to stretch one's legs.

"Babe, why couldn't we just buy another car?" asked Blonde.

Her partner, who just spent a good half an hour explaining the economic reasoning behind taking a bus instead of a taxi choked, taken aback by the question.

Denis, who was sitting right across Blonde, chuckled. He would never admit such thoughts even to himself, but she looked smoking hot, unlike his chubby girlfriend. That guy must be really lucky to score such a chick. Throughout the whole ride, Dennis's eyes kept wandering down her cleavage, and he hoped that his own girlfriend wouldn't notice.

Phalicia, sitting right by Denis, noticed everything but didn't even bat an eye. As someone who made it through the school, university, and survived a decade of a front desk job - while being called Phalicia - she learned to take things easy and never let them get to her. Let her boyfriend drool over this plastic marvel of cosmetic surgeries, at the end of the day he's still going home with her. But Phalicia was a tiny bit curious - what did this fine and imposing gentleman across her find in someone as shallow?

A fine gentleman across Phalicia was called Robert, and he looked around, still struggling to find a response. He noticed a lovely couple across him, the jolliness and intelligence in the eyes of the woman. Robert would never admit it even to himself, but sometimes the... naivety of his beloved sweetheart would tire even him. "That man is really blessed to have such a charming partner by his side," he thought.

And Bettia - the blonde partner of Robert - didn't think anything. Literally. For she was one of those people with no inner monologue. Behind her artificially extended blonde hair, fake eyelashes, and plastic lips were no thoughts or reasoning, no self-reflection, not a single cast of doubt.

That doesn't mean Bettia was dumb - having outsourced thinking to the collective voices of the internet, she thrived by operating on instinct. She pegged that fat whale as a non-threat and kept teasing her balding excuse of a boyfriend by letting him glance down her cleavage - just for funsies. Her true goal of the day was her own partner. Making her endure this excruciating bus ride will cost him, the only question is - how much?

"Sweetie, we don't have this kind of money to buy another car..."

"You could take a lease!"

Robert choked again in shock.

Phalicia, bored and extroverted as she was, decided to intervene in a stranger's conversation: "If current rates keep climbing the way they are, a lease will cost you like an extra car." She thought it was a good idea - that man's in-depth rant about the economy seemed like a genuine interest, not an excuse.

Roberts' face lit up, and he smiled: "Why, indeed! Commission fee, percents, state registration costs, not to mention parking costs! See, someone understands..." His voice trailed off. "Uh-oh," he realized. This is going to cost him now.

Bettia hasn't said anything - she just snickered loudly and got her phone out. Smiling at another woman while his own is suffering from the terrible conditions in this disgusting old bus?! The price of her forgiveness just climbed - somewhere to a new pair of shoes and/or a new bag. To show how much she's upset Bettia opened a social media app and demonstratively started scrolling. Her timeline consisted mainly of half-naked muscular men and expensive sports cars.

Robert kept embarrassed silence, thinking about the misfortune that broke his car on this particular day. Phalicia slapped herself mentally on the forehead, reminding her not to get involved in discussions with strangers. Denis kept peeking down the cleavage, his thoughts trailing to a sensation of lips on his cock - a day ago, and a few more occasions last week. Bettia kept scrolling on her phone, waiting for time to squeeze an apology out of Robert.

And so they went, calmly and quietly, until... Brake slam! Tires scratch, and people yelp as their items fly all over the bus.

"Damn cyclists, where did they come from!" screamed the driver.

Voices of complaint from all over the bus are outshouted by Denis's loud yell "HEY FUCKER! YOU ARE NOT CARRYING A PILE OF FIREWOOD, YOU KNOW?!"

Bettia giggled - not because she liked the joke, but because she wanted to show Robert that she was willing to laugh with other men.

Elated by his success at making other women laugh, Denis went on, "Yeah, right, has he forgotten his eyes at home or something?! Probably thinking about boning a side chick instead of a road ahead of him!" by that his voice rose to a high pitch. It happened to him, sometimes.

"Hush!" Phalicia shushed. Her backpack flew out of her hands, she lost sight of it, distracted by Denis's yelling, but she grabbed it again. "There are children in here!"

"What?! I've not said anything!" argued Denis, ignoring The Glance from Phalicia.

"Anyway, it's our stop now - the local airport!" Phalicia pushed Denis out. It was a bit early, but she got annoyed with sitting. As they climbed, she noticed that a gentleman across had (and gripped tightly now) the same backpack she had. "So it's a new face on the scene then, nice!" thought Phalicia.

The bus finally stopped. Denis jumped off and got on the phone, leaving Phalicia to climb out on her own. She threw a glance back at where they were sited. Huh? That pair of a gentleman and a blonde remained seated. But she thought... Well, doesn't matter. Bus doors closed, and it drove towards its final destination in an ex-soviet dacha (poor man's cottage) district, as Phalicia followed Denis to the old airport.

Some time later

"Denis, what the heck?!" Phalicia scolded as she repacked Denis's parachute. "P, R, and O, how hard can it be to remember?!" She had to spread the whole canopy out on the field to fix the mess Denis left for her. Lines were tangled, cells stuffed with no regard. What was he even thinking? "And you forgot to charge my camera!"

Denis shook his head and mumbled something. He was looking at a "Miss you :P" message from a contract saved as "Pizza Delivery."

"No, really, you want to land with a reserve and then pay riggers - be my guest, but why do I always have to fix your messes?" Phalicia got somewhat annoyed at the lack of support. "You checked my rig, right?"

"What? Oh, yes, totally. As always, all fine."

"Because I pay attention, and so should you! Alright, let's get going, pilot is waiting, and I'm not paying for overtime!" Phalicia led the way as Robert quickly hid his phone away. "Hey, Mark, how's it's going, man?" pilot was a good friend of hers, having dropped her off countless times.

The three of them walked towards the plane under the sound of started engines.

Same time, different place

"What is inflation?" asked Robert, "It is a force that will fuck us all!"

Some time passed since they arrived at, what he called, "his mansion". Bettia called this place an "embarrassing dump." The truth must have been somewhere in the middle.

What mattered was that this place was secluded, covered with trees and bushes on all sides, and it was the only place Robert could hope for some privacy. Perhaps it's too close to the old airport, but that thing was barely used anyway.

He planned it to be an exceptional day and did all he could to get back on track after that hiccup with his car. Sure, the long bus ride had upset his sweetheart. But he promised to buy her a new ring - the one all her friends had (that looked like a nail, but covered with diamonds), and it seemed to have improved her mood. So, all was well, and he got back to the speech he prepared. It revolved around his second most favorite topic - the finance.

"The rich get richer, and the poor stay poor. That's how it is, and that's how it always was," he started walking back and forth, gesturing with his hands.

"As a worker, your salary gets reviewed once, maybe twice a year. Adjusting it to inflation is presented as a 'raise' and is awarded only to the top performers. All the equity policies are working against you, ensuring everyone is paid equally - equally low, killing your motivation. Your only option is to run, like a hamster in a wheel, sacrificing your health, working overtime - just to keep your life on the same level. And what other options do we have?"

Once he got onto his favorite track, it was impossible to stop him, but Bettia didn't even try. She just got back on her phone and kept scrolling, ignoring the nonsensical gibberish that came out of his mouth. Money comes from a shelf, if there's enough - you aren't wishing hard enough! But she let him speak, since at least that keeps him from doing anything else. Occasionally some words she recognized came through to her, but none of them were calls to action, so she ignored them.

"...stock trading, crypto? A Ponzi scheme and a casino for cocky..."

"...start your own business? But the helpful idiot activists would tear - you - apart, not the real rich whom they wouldn't even be allowed to see..."

"...and don't even get me started on property taxes and amortization..."

"And so," Robert concluded, "the game is rigged," he stopped abruptly and turned toward Bettia, forcing her to stare back at him. "Our only hope is to welcome the inflation!" his hand nervously crawled to a handle near the shoulder on a backpack he still wore since exiting the bus. "To embrace the inflation!" his clenched knuckles went white. "And to become one with it!" he shouted, yanking the handle with all his might.

"..."

"..."

"Oh wow, a small round parachute from your backpack," observed Bettia.

"WHAT?!" Robert's face went pale as he ripped a backpack off, which, apparently, wasn't his. "Oh, no! Oh no-no-no-no-no!" It couldn't be! A mixup?! But where is his then?

Higher

"Nice upwards wind, altitude: five thousand and two hundred meters. Get ready!" yelled the pilot.

"Thank you!" Phalicia shouted back. Should have a nice jump, even longer than usual.

"5200 meters is 5.2 kilometers, which is about 3.1 miles, which is roughly 16 thousand (plus 530) feet high" though Phalicia.

She first learned parachuting in the USA and had the habit of mentally translating metric units into imperial and back ever since, whenever she talked about height. Just a little habit to calm herself down.

"Honey, do we have to do it?" yelled Denis.

"Why not?!"

"It was a rough week!"

"Of course it was!" thought Phalicia. She saw Denis working hard all week, staying overtime, collapsing to the bed as he came home. Poor guy couldn't even get hard as she tried to cheer him up with some fun bedtime play!

So, naturally, she surprised him with an extra jump. It was she who was crazy for skydiving, but still, she failed to see how it would not cheer him up. Get his adrenaline going, spend some time together, and eat some tasty kebab afterward - just like the old times!

But, yeah, today Denis decided to act like a child. His constant complaints and nagging got even on Phalicia's nerves.

"Just go!" she waived at an open door.

"How are *you* not afraid of heights?" asked Denis. Not hearing any response, he sharply inhaled and stepped through the door.

Phalicia sensed that something was off, ever since she got off the bus. But she couldn't quite point her finger at it, with all the distractions that kept happening.

Has she forgotten something? She went through preparations... Yeah no, probably it's her missing camera.

She shook her head and marched towards the door. One step, another, focus. Standing in the doorframe she glanced down at the Earth - so far below, you couldn't even make details out. The roaring of the engines muffled her thoughts.

Ah, to hell with her doubts! It's a fun time! Heads down, she dived to catch up with Denis.

A cold wind blew at her face as she left the safe space of a rusty old airplane. The sound of engines died behind.

Ground level

Robert was anxious and terrified beyond belief. He searched through the whole backpack, his hands trembling, but found only strings, lines, and parachutes - a small round tied to a big rectangular one, and another in a second compartment.

The design was well familiar, since he bought the same rig, just to have it, well, emptied and repurposed. Seemed like a good idea at the time - no one would notice, and if anyone asked - he'd always be able to tell that he acquired interest in parachuting, but chickened out at the last moment.

An innocent lie, right? But now this lie could cost an innocent life, and he would be responsible.

He knew that this model had a contact tag on the shoulder. He didn't sign his, but this... nothing! Diagonally across lines for "Name," "Phone," "Email," and "Address" were handwritten letters "Fal" and a smiley face. That's it.

Robert remembered a smiling woman sitting across him on the bus - it must have been hers. He noticed they had the same model of a backpack, and thought to be careful, but then there was that braking, and the man yelling... He must have lost a sight for a second.

But why isn't there a name? What, does she hate her own name so much she does not want to have it written on a tag, to help a poor soul return her own parachute that costs thousands of euros?

Should he run to the airport to try and stop the jump?

"Calm down," thought Robert, "they are skydivers, and it's their equipment. They must check it before each flight." Yeah, definitely. By now they already noticed that the contents were off, and if they pulled a handle...

Robert's gut clenched. If he runs up to the airfield now, they'll know it's him. They'll know it's his. They'll point fingers and laugh. They always do! Robert sobbed. No! No, he can't.

Altitude: 5000 meters and dropping

"Wo-o-o!" yelled Phalicia as she caught up with Denis.

Denis glanced back. He still seemed detached, but now a bit less. He mustered a smile and gestured at his shoulder. Phalicia quickly peeked up (a force of habit, only two of them were jumping) and gave an "okay" sign.

Maybe it was too early, but something still seemed odd... So why not? Better safe than sorry.

Denis ripped the handle, deploying his canopy. His fall speed decreased, and Phalicia fell below. She turned her back towards the Earth, spending a few more seconds to admire her work with a hint of personal pride. Yep, with her repackaging Denis' chute deployed without any issues.

She waved at Denis and sent him an air kiss. Denis waved back.

Okay, now it's her turn. She turned around and pulled on her own handle.

The compressor started humming.

What?

Her backpack opened from within, and she sensed... something leaving, but there was no familiar yanking, and her fall didn't break.

What?!

Ground level

"Aww, baby, you wanted to prepare me for a surprise trip to parachuting in Dubai, like in that reel I showed you? You are so thoughtful!" Bettia hopped around gleefully. "Look, there's even a tear in your eye, so cute! Let me take a photo of it!"

This broke Robert's stupor and got him his head back to the real world. He turned away from the camera moments before it flashed. Bettia didn't care, she started writing "Going... to... Dubai... hashtag mylove... hashtag bestdayever..."

"Hold on, hold on!" yelled Robert.

Of course, that woman will be furious that her jump got canceled, but he'll drop her backpack by the gates in the night - and her rig will return to her. He's no thief. He just gotta make sure that they would never see his face again, and there's that.

Now, it's time to focus on the one person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. On his sweet Betty.

"What's wrong?" asked Bettia, "We don't go to Dubai? Hawaii would work too, I'm not picky!"

"Look, sweetie, today we are not going anywhere, today it's about us," Robert spoke without conviction.

He worked hard between spending too many sleepless nights, preparing for this day, and hoping it would be the best it could be. And now far too many things fell off, it was wrong, everything was so wrong, could he still salvage the situation?

"What do you mean, babe?" asked Bettia with rising annoyance in her voice. Surely he can't be this dumb to attempt another kink? In here? Today?

"I just wanted to have a special moment for both of us," the power has returned to his voice.

His crown work wasn't lost in his backpack. It was right beneath their feet. He wanted to wait until after they married to show it off, worrying if it was too soon, but now he realized - there's no better time. Now, he's right. It's now or never.

"I wanted to make something special, to create something special - just for you, sweetie. B-because it gives me j-joy to see a smile in your eyes," he stuttered nervously but went on. "Sometimes I intentionally think of you just to make my day brighter. But more often you surprise me, and I find you in my thoughts. I love you, and I want you to know that I am forever grateful to be with you."

"Okay," Bettia replied plainly. His words went hollow in her ears, but as long as it led to her getting something out of it...

"And so, I created... this," Robert got a small remote out of the inner pocket of his jacket. "For you, my love, and let us always be together!"

With that, he clicked a button. And machines activated.

Altitude: 4930 meters, and descending slowly

Denis reached for the radio. "Uhm, honey, are you alright?" He had a really bad feeling about this.

"Oh, why don't you tell me, how does it look?" came a sarcastic response.

Denis considered.

"It appears that you... have a giant inflated penis instead of a parachute?"

Altitude: 4800 meters and falling too fast

Once she sensed that her primary canopy malfunctioned - or whatever it did - Phalicia grabbed a second handle on her belly and yanked it. Nothing happened, and the next moment she realized that she was holding a cut string that led to nowhere.

She was staring at a handle in her hand, realizing that the emergency chute was absent too. This was when she heard Denis' voice on the radio.

She turned her head as much as she could, just as the voice on the radio confirmed - she had an inflated cock behind her back for a parachute, impressive in size but useless in slowing down her descent.

"What?", and "How?" were the questions that crossed Phalicia's mind. (Along with a great many swear words directed at Denis, her inflated penis, and herself for trusting Denis and not double-checking for any hidden penis prior to the jump.)

"How the~" she cut herself off. It's not the time and not the place. She has to focus, for those are the moments that tell great skydivers apart from not so. Or alive ones from the dead, really.

"Denis. Listen carefully. I need You. To Cutaway. Lose your chute, then dive head first after me. Once you catch up, I will grab you and I will deploy your reserve. It's gonna be rough!" she tried to sound as assured as she could. A quick glance confirmed - Denis's was still above, and his chute was still open. C'mon, why is he wasting precious moments, it's time to act - now! "...But we'll make it!"

She was the more experienced one. It's her fault this happened, and she would do everything in her power to ensure that it's only her bones that will be broken. She released the radio button.

"What?! I'm not risking my life 'cause you failed to check your rig!" came a response through the static.

"YOU FAILED TO CHECK MY RIG, NOW DO AS I SAY AND SAVE ME YOU MORON!"