Two Gifts for Carol Ch. 08/10

Now I know that it is an illusion to want to have your life figured out at thirty, or forty, or whenever. Life is a work in progress. We will never "reach" a goal and consider that there is nothing more to be done. But, especially, you can't have something like that at thirty. Besides, people relate success to a certain job, money, an achievement, a position, a marriage, or even a car or a house. But these are external symbols. Internally, the issue is always more complex. What we really want is sometimes intangible.

But I only got to this conclusion later. A little more than a month before my 30th birthday, I looked in the mirror and could only think of all the things I had not done, achieved, or lived. My life had been reduced to work, work, and work. I was bogged down with textbooks, exams, spreadsheets and forms.

It was in this identity crisis that I bought a bunch of classic books at the Machado and Hilst Bookstore and decided to read them all before I was thirty. Ignoring that it would be impossible to absorb so much in such a short time, I threw myself on the armchair and opened Posthumous Memoirs of Brás Cubas. "To the worm that first gnawed the cold flesh of my corpse I dedicate these posthumous memoirs as a nostalgic memory. Brilliant beginning.

I read for a couple of hours until Joshua called me. He wanted to go out to dinner. I told him I wasn't in the mood and asked if he wanted to come down. He agreed.

We had sex.

Then he got up and went to the kitchen to drink some water. On the way he saw all the new books.

"Have you decided to build a library of classics?"

I took a deep breath and opened up to him. I told him about the emptiness I felt. About the incompleteness of my life. About how I wished I had traveled, had a PhD, had read the classics, lived in a nice place... I didn't want to be working two jobs, living in rented apartment...

"Carol, besides buying a bunch of books that you certainly won't be able to read by your birthday, isn't there anything else you really want to do? Be honest. Is there a change of direction you want to take? Be honest with yourself and count on me, whatever you need."

This sentence stuck in my mind for the following days. Was there something I wanted to do and could do that would give me a certain sense of accomplishment? Something that was feasible, that could still be accomplished in less than a month and a half? Doctorate, travel, home ownership, none of it fit.

The answer came a few nights later.

It was a Friday and I was bored. I had worked on some exams until late at night and now I had nothing to do. In such situations, I usually called Joshua. We would have a drink or a smoke and then have sex. Sex was always a good medicine for monotony! But he was traveling. He was spending the weekend in São Paulo, at a conference on cybersecurity. So I did what everyone does, but nobody ever admits to it: I opened a porn site. I watched one, two videos and nothing. I got up, picked up my toy box and came back to the screen. At that moment I noticed a video in which a woman had sex with two guys. It was just what I needed. I played it.

I lubricated my toys and started to watch the video. First I turned on the massager and positioned it to vibrate on my clit. On the screen, the girl was sucking a guy while another guy was sucking her off. I had goosebumps. I longed for Joshua's cock... I sped up the vibrator.

My mind traveled back to years ago, when I was in Maggie's bedroom. She was standing with her legs wide open, her hairy pussy spread for everyone to see, calling out to Peter to fuck her. The boy did not refuse. In front of me, Maggie arched her back for her boyfriend to put it in. Then, since I didn't want to participate, it was Dan's turn. Maggie moaned, rolling around on Peter's cock while she jerked Dan off. I lost myself in memories and forgot about the video. I never admitted to Maggie, but my pussy was wet as a river that afternoon. I had come home and masturbated madly in the bathroom. I almost passed out with a bottle of deodorant in my pussy that night.

After that a lot happened in my sex life. I should not complain as much as I do.

Theo... Theo and I learned a lot together. Just thinking about him makes my ass twitch. He was the first to fuck me from behind. To cum deep inside my ass. To make me walk in the streets dripping cum from my asshole...

At that moment, I took the lubricant and rubbed it on a dildo. Lovingly, thinking of Theo's cock, I slid the rubber phallus in from behind. The toy was advancing inside me, opening me up. What a turn-on it gave me! Being fucked in the ass made me feel naughty, slutty, but in the best possible way. Free.

I started pounding the toy from behind and moaning. It was inevitable to remember when Theo was fucking my ass at Harper's house, on the balcony of her room. I was especially naughty: naked, doing anal on a balcony, facing a church, with the possibility of being seen by people from the party. This alone would be enough to make me cum like never before.

I shoved the dildo in further from behind. Harder, faster. My ass was blinking.

But there was more to that party: Joshua and his then-girlfriend arrived and I saw her blowing him naked. That big, tasty cock being sucked while I was being fucked in the ass just a few steps away. What if they saw me?

But I was the one who saw them... and I enjoyed it tremendously...

Which led me to think of Joshua. Handsome, naughty and with a delicious cock... Joshua was an amazing friend and lover. We had wild sex and he was into everything I wanted. He just wanted to see me come, no matter what.

Once again, I increased the speed of the vibrator in my pussy and of the dildo in my ass.

"He was into everything", "he just wanted to see me come", "no matter what"... I thought about that for a moment... and remembered Theo fucking me... Joshua, Theo, Joshua. Theo, the dildo going in and out of my ass, the frantic vibrator in my pussy... Theo and I discussing a threesome...

It was obvious: my 30th birthday present would be to have sex with Theo and Joshua!

I shoved the dildo hard, opened my pussy, squeezed my own boobs and came... My mind was made up.