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All Comments on 'Two Girlfriends Find Love Ch. 01'

by wolfgar69

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AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Please edit this

Started off well, but the non-standard dialogs turned me off:

She said slowly to Cate, "that she appreciated her comfort ...

Either use indirect speech:

She said slowly to Cate that she appreciated her comfort.

Or direct quotes:

She said slowly to Cate, "I appreciate your comfort ... ".

Don't mix them up in the same sentence, please.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Editor!

Needed. Much.

Anonymous
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