All Comments on 'Two Hundred Dollars: Bonus Chapter'

That puts a real twist on the story. I like how you fit it in without changing anything in the original. I didn’t know you were writing a sequel, but I am looking forward to it.

Stay safe and thanks

Thank to you xtorch. Spanking a mature arse is sexier.

A little more information please on the sequel and the e-book, if you don't mind.

This is just lovely. Truly.

... just leaving a little time gap in the original story where this would fit.

I don't know what Literotica's rules are, but since you asked: I did produce an e-book on my Patreon page. You can look me up by name.

Cheers,

Xavier Torch.

I loved this series even though it's far from my usual interest. This little gem expands it unexpectedly, and now I'm really curious to see where the sequel goes

I’m so glad you are writing a sequel. I really like these characters and the set up- so glad we get more!

Somehow. Anyhow. I love it. So different. Great work.

But also, as I was writing it, I thought, "This is a great place for Kent to explain himself."

There's really never been a person in this story to whom Kent could speak to air his feelings - at least not until he and Bailey got to the end of her debt to him. There were points he couldn't make though, except to a separate person.

But then, just the thought of Laura's mother, pretending she needed first hand experience of receiving a spanking to decide whether or not it was okay... hah!

Lacks the emotional honesty of the previous work... To be honest it seems like a uselessly eager attempt to add on a mother/Daughter kink... Laura is not where any addition should go... learning Bailey and Kent's backstories.... you would have something...

I would agree with "undefinedlust" that while this was a clever insertion/addition to the series, it's more clever than successful. You have such solid characters in Kent and Bailey and Laura that you really don't need to add anything to this particular narrative -- and to start bringing other people into that trio means to go in the direction of schlockiness (yes, I was the one who used that term earlier).

Like most* college-age young adults, the threesome are interesting mixtures of worldliness and innocence/naivete, and as such they are endearing in their way. Unless we get a whole lot more careful backstory on Laura's mom (no pun intended...) I just don't think that branching out in this direction is going to work.

I mean all this as praise to the full "THD" series, btw -- it's a wonderful story, but further tinkering might just mess it up. Maybe backstories, yes, but be very mindful of how they would lead to the solid characters in "THD."

*Unfortunately, I see major exceptions to that generalization (about young adults' innocence/worldliness) in the "Greek" fraternity/sorority system, which in the U.S. anyway has a number of structures in place that practically guarantee personal corruption and exploitation.

I really liked this insertion. As I read it I found myself thinking "Oh shit, Kent's in for it now", then laughing when Mrs. Anderson put him in a very uncomfortable situation. If continuing with Mrs. Anderson in the stories is too kinky or unlikely for your normal fan base, so be it. I only tripped over this series a week ago and have been enjoyably binging on it. But the whole story is basically silly, so what the hell.

Wish you could keep this going in some way!

The subject says it all. This was a horribly awkward moment for the MC and Mrs. Anderson came across as delightfully wistful. I could feel her regrets and desires for "what if" her life had been different. Very nice and, honestly, my favorite chapter of the entire $200 series.

I think you're the first person to write that they liked this ending better than the actual ending of the story.

At the time, the chapter just seemed to right itself and I wasn't intending to take it any further, as it might wreck the other character interactions. But then, I thought I might make it a recurring side-story and not let it interfere that way, just a way for Kent to soliloquize and such.

We'll see.

Thanks for writing.

@XavierTorch

Please keep it going, it is great fun with all the twists and tension.

Just checking.....;-)

Your ending left an opening to spank Mom, Bailey and or Laura in the future. I liked the story line and would like to see it continue.

Thank you

I liked this bonus chapter and am glad it wasn’t in the story- I would have found it too much / cheesy. As a bonus chapter tho it is the right mix of hilarious and mortifying

This chapter makes for a good dream sequence. If I wrote this, I would go that route. In any case, it reinforces that Kent is a good guy.

Anon: yes, hilarious and mortifying is what I wanted. I hope I conveyed the magnitude of Kent's discomfort and also his strange feeling of powerlessness.

JeanLesMis: That, too. The book is often enough inside Kent's head, but I wanted him to argue his POV once.