by laurel77
Loved it, a great wham bam thank you ma'am quickie. The finger up his ass was a very nice touch, too...a real trigger tripper! I hope you'll write more soon!
I'm a sucker for a two-girl BJ story, and this was a damn good one- especially because it was told from the woman's point of view. Don't be shy with the story, though, I think the sex started on paragraph 6. I would have enjoyed more leading conversation that allows you to get to know the characters. "Fells Point", huh? Of all the locations, that is quite fitting!
Nice debut. Hot tale, and well written for the most part. My only critique is your dialog, as it didn't seem realistic at times. A little more character development would have improved the story as well.
Thanks for writing.