Two Lives, One Heart

Charlene and Brad met back in high school during their freshman year. Charlene didn't have many friends. She was shy and quiet and kept to herself mostly. Because she was so introverted, she was accepted quickly into the group of outcasts referred to as Stoners. They gave her a place to belong and not be judged. She wasn't exactly a head turner. It was the 90's after all and the ideal female image was super skinny, she wasn't even considered average. Granted, she wasn't terribly obese, but she was definitely plump and that alone seemed to turn boys off. She had been bullied most of her life, luckily in high school the group of friends she acquired made sure that didn't happen anymore. Instead, high school posed new issues. She already had low self-esteem, but it was during this period of her life that she developed something called body dysmorphia. It would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Brad was the complete opposite. He was extremely outgoing, played sports and very popular. But unlike his counter parts, Brad had a good heart and good manners. Instead of joining in and making a menace of himself as his peers did, he was the guy who jumped in and put a stop to it. He was confident in himself, but not arrogant. He had been raised with modesty and humility and was shaping up to be a respectable young man. Brad didn't care who you were, what you looked like or your background, if you were friendly to him, he always extended the same courtesy.

Brad and Charlene had chemistry class together and that's how their lifelong friendship started. They were assigned a project together. At the time, Charlene knew of Brad, everyone knew of Brad, but she wasn't exactly happy about being paired with him. One of her friends was in the class and she had hoped to be paired with her friend. But the teacher didn't agree. At first it was awkward, but it didn't take long for them to click. Suddenly, they became inseparable. Through highs and lows, relationships and heartbreaks, they were next to each other's side through it all.

When Brad joined the Marines and was deployed they wrote each other constantly. This was before video calling was a thing. Every time he came back home, she would be there, right next to his parents and girlfriend if he had one. She would always hang back. She never wanted to steal the limelight from them. But he always made a bigger deal out of seeing her than any of his girlfriends. There had been times their closeness got in the way of relationships. Charlene had even told him several times that she would understand if he needed to distance himself from her because it was usually their friendship that ended relationships for him. He hated when she did this. Them not being friends would never be an option. The right person would understand.

Brad hated the men Charlene dated. They were assholes. He always made it a point to insert himself wherever and whenever he could. It would drive them crazy with jealousy. He wanted her to be happy, but he believed she only deserved the best. He is extremely protective of her and everyone that knew them knew that they don't mess with her. Their friends were always shocked they had never been together, everyone knew that's what they should be, but Charlene and Brad would always deny it, Charlene would say, "Oh come on, we're like siblings."

Over the years, Charlene had gotten pregnant by a man who she thought she would spend the rest of her life with, but when her daughter was around a year old, he took off. Brad was there to help her. As a bachelor, he decided to move in with her to help take care of the baby. He had retired from the Marines after his last deployment and had a ton of money saved. Charlene helped him by being there to help him get through his PTSD. She helped him see that there was never shame in admitting when you needed help. With her gentle pushes, he utilized the resources at the VA and got a great job at the high school as a Gym Teacher and coach of the Girls' basketball team. He had felt like he was spiraling into a dark abyss and Charlene showed him how to grab the light.

He moved out when he began dating a woman he had met one day at the grocery store. About 6 months in, it started to get serious. Charlene and Brad talked about him moving out, but Brad was scared to leave them alone. She laughed at him and told him it wasn't like he still wouldn't be a part of their lives. But Charlene understood that he needed his own life. For the first five years of her daughter's life, Brad had played the role of father. Her daughter adored him, calling him "Uncy B". When cell phones became more popular, Brad made sure to get Charlene one. He wanted her to be able to call him whenever she needed him. Even though she protested, she had to admit it made her feel a safer.

It wasn't long after Brad moved in with his girlfriend, Charlene noticed changes in him. Changes she didn't like. Brad began acting completely out of character and it scared Charlene. There were times he was just downright mean and quick tempered. When she confronted him, he broke down crying. His girlfriend, who was a model, had a cocaine addiction. It helped keep her skinny so she could stay on top of her modeling career. She got Brad addicted. He was drinking all the time and had lost his job at the high school. She begged him to get help, but he assured her he had it under control.

He most certainly did not have it under control. But he was still always there for Charlene and her daughter. He never missed one of her daughter's recitals, games, birthdays or holidays. Every time Charlene saw him, it broke her heart. The deterioration in him was very apparent and it scared the hell out of her. He would call Charlene in the middle of the night, strung out and crying. Every time, she would beg him, crying into the phone for him to get help. She constantly worried about him. Then he would disappear for a while.

Meanwhile, Charlene's bakery was thriving. Brad had helped her get it going. He didn't know it, but she had made him a partner. She opened a savings account just for him and would deposit his percentage into the bank. The account just kept growing. So many times, when he was begging her for money, she wanted to give it to him, but would stop herself. She would hear the real Brad in her head tell her no. Until the day he called her from the county jail. He had been arrested for possession of an illegal substance and due to the amount of cocaine he had on him, they also slapped a charge of intent to distribute on him. Charlene was devastated. He OR'd out the next day and she had made arrangements for him to go into treatment. She also retained an attorney. It was his first offense, he was a decorated vet, the attorney seemed to think he had a real chance of getting off lightly.

When she picked him up from the jail, he barely resembled the Brad she knew. His once muscular frame seemed frail. His face taught. It killed her inside to see him like that. She hugged him tightly and began crying. He pulled back and looked at her, he smiled as he wiped away her tears and said, "Hey there. Sorry I've been away. I'm going to do everything I can to get back to you and squirt."

She looked at him, "You promise?"

He kissed her forehead, "I promise."

They went and grabbed a bite to eat before she took him to the treatment facility. He ordered a burger and fries and she ordered a salad. He looked at her a bit confused, "What the hell is the deal with the salad?"

She rolled her eyes, "I'm trying to eat healthier. We're not getting any younger and the older you get the harder it is to lose fat. For once in my life I'd like to be a little more comfortable in my own skin."

He stared at her a moment, then shook his head, "You are beautiful just the way you are."

She laughed, "OK, says the man who only dates models. It's mostly to just be healthier. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a perk to it by losing weight and looking better. But I just want to be around as long as I can for my daughter."

He smiled, "You know I support you in whatever you want to do. I just have seen you kill yourself over diets in the past, I hate it. Promise me you'll do it right? Even if it means it takes a while. Just be healthy about it. Please?"

She looked at him for a moment, "I promise Brad, I will be healthy about it."

They finished their food and Charlene drove him to the rehab. They both cried and hugged each other tightly. She grabbed his face and looked him in the eyes and said, "Go in there and find my Brad."

They embraced again and he whispered in her ear, "Anything for you."

She stood there as he walked in and they took him back to get him processed. As she walked back to her car, she felt the tears stinging her eyes. She just sat in her car and cried. She would get to see him once a week and she planned on never missing the opportunity.

Over the next few months, Brad worked on getting clean and facing his bad decisions. Unfortunately, he would still have to do prison time. The state offered him a deal and after careful consideration, he took the offer. It about broke Charlene. She broke down before they ever left the courtroom. For the next 5 years, he would be behind bars. They let her see him one more time to say goodbye. He held her as she cried. He was determined to be strong for her.

In a low, calm voice he said, "Just think of it as me being on deployment. Only you can still come visit once a month if you're able and we can write each other all the time."

She looked up at him with a tear-stained face, "Promise me that you won't lose yourself in there. Brad, I know you can take care of yourself, but prison is a different animal. Be careful. I'm begging you."

He squeezed her, "I will be. I promise you. I will stay clean, keep my head down and do my time. I'm gonna miss the hell out of you and Squirt."

They hugged again and then the court bailiff came in to get him. She just sat there for a moment to gather herself. She would just treat it like a deployment. Together they would get through this. The toughest part was going to be explaining it to her daughter.

For 5 years, they wrote each other constantly. Sometimes it was just a quick note and other times it would be pages of events, thoughts and feelings. Once a month, Charlene and her daughter would travel the 2 hours to the prison for visitation. Charlene always made sure he had money on his account and would send him care packages when the prison allowed.

During that 5 years, the last few visits, Charlene had to do the visitations on her own. Her daughter was growing into quite the pre-teen. She reminded Charlene so much of Brad. She was everything Charlene wasn't. Gorgeous, kind and humble. She got herself into sports and music and had a very busy schedule. Charlene understood and wanted to support her daughter in her pursuits. Plus, if she were being honest, having a bit of alone time with Brad felt good. They could talk a bit more freely than if she were there.

When Brad was released, Charlene was there again. It was a gorgeous day. You know those days where spring is turning into summer. The sun was shining and the air was warm. Charlene wore a beautiful yellow sundress with a pink cherry blossom on it and some comfortable sandals. It was one of her favorite summer dresses because it was comfortable. Charlene wasn't much on fashion; she was all about the comfort.

When Brad walked out and saw her standing there he stopped for a moment just taking her in. She had lost weight for sure, noticed, the dress she had on was form fitting and really showed off her progress. He smiled at her hair, she hated it, but he loved it. It was wild, curly and red. Even from a distance her eyes were bright green. Her freckly face brightened when she saw him, and a big smile spread across her lips. They ran to each other and she jumped into his arms. He hadn't been allowed to hug her in prison, so it had been 5 years since he felt her hug. He didn't want to let go.

That night, Charlene made his favorite dinner; fettuccine Alfredo with mozzarella stuffed chicken, homemade garlic bread and a large salad. As she cooked, the sounds of giggles and laughter from the Living room filled her heart with joy. The occasional "Uncle B!" or "I'm gonna kick your butt squirt." She felt complete again.

Later that night, Charlene's daughter had gone to bed and her and Brad were watching TV. He said, "What if we pack a picnic Friday and go spend the day at the lake like we used to?"

Charlene smiled, "I think that would be wonderful, but I'm gonna have to take a raincheck on that. I have a date Friday night."

Brad's eyebrow raised, "A date? With who?"

Charlene rolled her eyes, "With a man I met on one of those dating apps. Squirt set me up a profile awhile back. I've had a few dates, but as usual, nothing has panned out." She shrugged her shoulders.

Brad looked confused, "How is that possible? How has one of them not scooped you up yet."

Charlene stood to walk into the kitchen and with a down motion with her hand she said, "Once they get a look at the bulging goods, they seem to lose interest really quick. No big deal."

Brad took a deep breath, steadying his anger, "That's bullshit. You're fucking beautiful Charlene. I wish you would see that."

Charlene chuckled, "Brad, you love me. Love tends to skew our perception of things. It's ok. Honestly. It used to bother me a lot when I was younger. The constant rejection or whispered conversations behind my back. I have a mirror; I see the reflection. I am who I am." She paused, "Besides, I don't think I would want someone to not be in love with my body."

Brad looked a little confused, "Umm...what? I'm not sure I understand. If someone is in love with you, why wouldn't they be in love with your body?"

Charlene smiled, "What I mean is, if the physical attraction isn't there, then I don't want it. I want a man to not just fall in love with my winning personality, but I want a man who looks at me and sees me as sexy. I want to be desired." She fought back tears that were threatening to fall, "I've never felt that. I'd rather die not being desired than to live with someone who tolerates my appearance." She shrugged and as she turned to walk into the kitchen, she said, "It is what it is. I've accepted it."

Brad sat there trying to figure it all out. His heart broke for her. He wanted her to see what he saw. In all his life, he had never met anyone like her. She radiated a light that made you want to be around her. And as much as she disliked her body, he personally thought she was drop-dead gorgeous.

She walked out from the kitchen and leaned against the wall. She looked at him and smiled, "It is so good to have you home. I have missed this so much."

She yawned and stretched her arms into the air. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt and nothing underneath but panties. As the shirt rose and exposed her, Brad could feel himself flush. He felt a little tingle in his pants. He shook his head quickly to pull himself together.

Before he could hide his reaction, Charlene caught it. "Excuse me? You need to get laid my dear friend. The moment you start getting turned on by me, it's been way too long. You need to find someone to hook up with."

He chuckled at this and could feel himself blush. "Why does it need to be that? Maybe, just maybe you are just too damn sexy. Ever think of that?"

She burst out laughing, "Please Brad. I am not even close to your type. We both know this. You haven't had sex in 5 years. A dog's ass would probably get you hot and bothered."

He threw a pillow at her. She caught it laughing. "I'm going to bed. Your room is all ready for you." She walked over to him and leaned down and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "It really is good to have you home. It feels complete again."

He smiled and said, "Goodnight."

She said goodnight back and walked off down the hall to her bedroom.

The next few days seemed to go by quickly. Brad was settling in nicely and was looking for work. He made sure to do his part. Running errands, keeping things clean around the house and driving Squirt to her activities. When Friday rolled around, Brad wasn't in the best of moods. He knew Charlene had that date and he really was hoping the guy would cancel. But no such luck.

Charlene got home a little later than normal from the bakery that evening and came bursting through the house. "I need to shower before my date! I smell like baked goods!" she screamed on her way to her master bath.

She emerged about an hour later. She walked into the living room in her robe, hair still damp and full makeup on.

Brad stared at her for a moment, "Please tell me you're not wearing a robe on your date?" he said in a sarcastic tone.

"Oh sure" She said matter-of-fact, "It is the perfect shade of purple after all. Besides, remembering a robe at the end of the night leaves less chances to forget something at his place when we're done romping around the bed."

"MOM!!!!" her daughter shouted. "I'm standing like, right here. Can you not?"

Charlene just stuck her tongue out at her. Brad rolled his eyes, "I thought your slut days were behind you."

The teenager stomped off at that.

Charlene said sarcastically, "Hey, a woman has to do what a woman has to do sometimes." She opened the fridge and took out a bowl of fruit, "Now excuse me, I must go finish. Do you think My hair would look better up with the robe or down?"

He looked at her a little confused, "Aren't you meeting him for dinner? What's with the fruit?"

Charlene looked at him and shrugged her shoulders, "It keeps me from doing fat girl stuff like finishing all of my dinner."

She turned and began walking off to her room, and heard him shout, "DOWN!"

Charlene left around 6:30pm as she and her date had agreed to meet at the restaurant at 7pm. Squirt left to stay the night with a friend, so Brad had the house to himself. He changed into pajama bottoms and popped in a movie. Every car that passed he would jump a little hoping it would be Charlene. He had come to realize he was madly in love with her and needed to tell her. He was going to finally do it when she got home. He knew that one day someone would see her real beauty and snatch her up, he wanted desperately to be that man.

She finally walked in about 10:30pm. She walked in, trying to be quiet and found Brad sleeping on the couch. She stood there a moment and just stared at him. She had been in love with him since she was 15 years old and that Chemistry teacher made them do that project together. Nothing had changed.

He was 6'5, muscular build, a little tummy, auburn hair and eyes that made her long for the ocean. His smile could melt away a bad day for her instantly. Friends were all they were and all they would ever be. She would never be what he wanted, and she accepted that years ago. She was just extremely grateful to have his friendship. He really did complete her life.

She walked to her room and changed into her favorite nightgown. Plum purple satin, with spaghetti straps, hit her about mid-thigh. Still depressed from the evening's events, she decided to treat herself to some ice cream and walked into the kitchen to grab it out of the freezer.

She was digging around trying to find the ice cream when she heard, "Nice black panties." She jumped so bad, she knocked a ton of frozen meat out of the freezer and onto her little toes, started cussing and hoping around.

Brad was laughing so hard but came over and scooped her up and sat her on top of the counter. She cussed him. She closed her eyes for a moment. He got worried and said, "Are you ok? I'm so sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

She looked at him and in a quiet voice said, "Shhh, I'm waiting for my soul to re-enter my fucking body!"