All Comments on 'Two Out of Three'

I have never been to any of those places if they even exist,,but I could see them and even feel the dive trip experience. I was even starting to see" Val". You are a good story teller,so please keep writing.

A great travel guide with some places that I am sure are sexier than they have ever been before.

I'm with everyone else on the setting in this piece. It just blows me away. It helps that I'm also interested in the middle east, so I really enjoyed how realistic that portrayal of that area felt. I thought there was a lot of clever character work. Clever in that you put the characters in interesting power positions in relation to one another. Avi as the strong dive instructor, so competent and strong. Val held her own, too, and didn't come off seeming weak or needy. The face off with the Jordanian authorities was a very interesting situation for how it forced her hand in such an enticing way.

I also thought it was an interesting choice to switch to Avi's POV after the ride. I would be interested to hear from the author on this creative choice. For me, it ratcheted up the dramatic tension just tight enough so I wanted to keep reading to find out when he would reveal his secret to Val. You held that card all the way to the end and then offered a reasonable explanation for why it had to be that way and I bought all of that, because by then, I was already on the author's side.

If there is something that could be improved in this story, I would say it was the pacing. The POV switch kept me pushing forward, but it felt very slow in the middle. The diving was so detailed it was almost a little mini procedural story embedded inside a larger story about Val's grief and mourning, but Val's story was the one I was more interested in. I think it might have worked to weave more of her thoughts about her relationship with her cousin into the trip and the dive and maybe even leave out the early flash back to the sex (of find ways to present those facts as an ongoing reveal during the trip). A desert seems like a ripe landscape for thoughts about grief, lost love, abandonment or guilt. Similarly the underwater might have been an opportunity to reveal more details about her relationship. I am still not quite sure if Val blamed herself for his suicide, if he did commit suicide. Right now that suicide reveal works to give the story the dramatic umph it needs to close. But it might be even more satisfying to have Val's internal emotional journey be the dramatic high point. Maybe she shucks off her guilt and embraces the idea of loving again. Or maybe she forgives herself for loving her relative. Or whatever you want, but make it about her, put her center stage.

So these are my thoughts and I hope they seem helpful. I really enjoyed reading about the Israel and hope to travel there one day. You're a talented writer and you should keep writing. Thank you for sharing your story.

This was very well written and thought out. It was a joy to read. You show quite a bit of talent. Great job.

The plot and characters were very well done and the surroundings were described in

enough detail to blend in with that development. I thought your prose flowed gracefully -- it was really well written.

Well out of the ordinary. Many thanks.

Was wondering what happened to him. Good stuff. Needs more scuba diving.

Vivid descriptive text, historic sites, and erotic activities all combined to make this a memorable story. I could "see" the coral and fish in the dive scenes. I was a voyeur for Val and Avi's lovemaking. Overall, a five-star story.