All Comments on 'Two Sisters'

Looking forward to the next chapter. Thanks for your time and efforts.

Description isn’t a good sign also your score. It’s their not there. Learn the difference.

You might be right on the description. Hahaha my bad.

He criticizes other people's stories yet his own are full of errors! Dude get a job!

Not a bad plot, but the writing is extremely stilted. Perhaps you can go back and retake in ninth grade English and learn about contractions and apostrophes.

several of you need to go back and read: their, they're, there. the description said " there are" and in fact "there are" 2 sisters, just not related to him.

I'm assuming English is not your primary language couldn't get past the 3rd paragraph

I gelt as if I were speed reading. The details were to abbreviated, you really left out too much of the details that were needed to make it a readable story. Suggest you take a college course in English literature.

if these people could write as good as they can critzise there would be scads of stories as good as yours

You are writing an incest tale, and right out from the gate, he's addressing his mother by her first name, and they are already planning on sexual intimacy. How did they get there?

Most people are resistant to crossing that barrier. The tale is in how and why they cross that line. Take a bit more time to build the scene and set the characters. Most readers in this genre aren't just into the incest/taboo sexual episodes, the highly-rated stories also have some romance and/or struggle as well.

Find a reader and/or an editor to help you polish your skills. Haunt Literotica's writing forums and be persistent; you'll find readers and editors.

Completing a story and then posting it is an accomplishment. Most read, but few write and then post. Like any skill, good writing takes practice. Good luck! Slainté

Try introducing who the heck your characters are, especially their relationship. I would have to guess the y were strangers pus hed together for a reality tv show. Couldnt go further than the first part when he was not going to be working.

Read like written by an Indian using english terms.Very disjointed.