Two Weeks With Tamsyn Pt. 03

"I do love you Tam." I tried to clasp her hands, but she ripped them away, her sorrow turning to rage.

"No you don't, you just love Georgia. You do what she fucking tells you, and if she says to fake a relationship with her sister, then you pour yourself into it like it's the only thing that matters in the world. And it doesn't matter who gets hurt, as long as she gets to think she's a good person for helping. Well fuck her, and fuck you. Keep your fake love and shove it up her ass!"

I let myself be pushed out of her room, the door slamming in my face. I wanted to defend myself, to reassure her that the love was real, but to be honest she deserved to be angry. The pain I made her feel was real, even if the reasons she gave weren't. And it didn't change the fact that she needed to divorce herself from her feelings for me, delaying would only make it worse. Hearing her anguish from the other side of the door is one of the lowest points in my life, and I didn't stop to wipe my tears as I dragged myself to my room, resigning myself that it was better for her to hate me for a while than to grow dependent on me.

What followed was one of the worst nights of my life, tossing and turning in bed as the guilt racked me, feeling like I was going to throw up. I told myself this was the only solution, that letting her hate me was the sacrifice I had to make for fucking everything up so badly. I was determined not to relent no matter how much pain it caused me. It was the only way I could fix the damage I'd caused her. It took a long time for sleep to take me, a welcome reprieve from the torment of my mind.

-----

My phone woke me, the custom ringtone I'd set for Georgia signalling who was calling me. The screen lighting up showed it was around noon.

I couldn't face her at the moment, so I let it ring. She called again. I put it on silent and turned over, willing sleep to take me again.

*****Chapter 10*****

It was dark when I woke up again.

I checked my phone, showing a bunch of missed calls and a text from Georgia.

*You asshole. What did you do?!?! You better fucking make it up to her*

What did she think I was trying to do? I groaned and got out of bed.

The house was empty, but Tamsyn's car was still in the driveway so at least she hadn't run away. I figured she was probably feeling about as bad as I was. I got some dinner out of the freezer and heated it up in the microwave. I left a bowl outside Tamsyn's door, too scared to talk to her, so I texted Georgia.

*Can you message Tamsyn that there's dinner outside her door?* I didn't want the first thing I said to her after our argument last night to be something so trivial.

Immediately Georgia rang me again, and I didn't answer. Part of me blamed her for instigating this mess, and I could tell I wasn't in a place where I could have an honest, open conversation without it turning into a shitfight. *Sorry babe, I'm all over the place at the moment. I just need some time*

To her credit, she didn't push any further, simply responding with a single love heart.

-----

I was lying in bed that night feeling sorry for myself when I heard a soft knock on my door.

"Yeah?"

"Can I see you? I have a few things I want to say."

I contemplated. I couldn't exactly keep hiding for the next 3 days until Georgia got back. I also missed her.

I opened the door. She stood in the hall, looking as bad as I felt. She had clearly been crying.

"I need a hug," she said dejectedly.

"Same," I realised.

She stepped into my arms, and we just held each other for a while.

Into my shoulder, she started the conversation. "I just wanted to let you know, I said some things I didn't mean last night. I know you love me, even if it's only as a brother."

I squeezed her. "Thanks Tam, to be honest that's the thing that's been eating me up the most, thinking you didn't know how I felt."

"I'm still really hurt by what you did. Cutting me off like that. I've basically been throwing myself at you, and you were sending all the signals. You obviously like my body. And I've never been wanted by someone who knows me as well as you do. In all my other relationships I seem to scare people away once the real me starts coming out, the one who goes all in and devotes herself to the relationship. I thought finally I found someone who wants the real me, and then you turn around and say you want to stop, before we even really started."

"I'm sorry Tam, I'm just trying to do what's best for you."

"I know, but you're almost as bad as Georgia. You think I can't be trusted to make my own decisions. I'm fucking 20, and you guys are barely older. Don't you think I might have a say in what's best for me? Don't you think you could at least ask me about it before deciding on your own?"

She had a good point. Right from the start I had told Georgia I wasn't going to push myself into Tamsyn's life unless she asked for it, and now here I was removing myself from Tamsyn's life against her wishes.

She broke our hug and went to sit on my bed, staring at the carpet.

"I know I have problems. I know I'm too desperate for approval, and that deep down it's probably because I don't love myself. I don't love that I'm so reliant on the approval of others, and that makes me hate myself, and that makes me even more desperate for their approval since I have none of my own. I'm trying to break that cycle, and one of the ways I'm trying to do that is to let myself be happy when someone else shows their love for me. And it was working with you, except I kept running into this wall, this barrier you had put up to stop yourself from giving in and loving me completely, and it just reminded me of my own barriers, stopping me from loving myself. It was like, if he can't even love me completely then how am I supposed to? I know that's not healthy, and I know love doesn't have to be tied to sex, but when you cut me off it was like all those barriers I had been lifting came crashing back into place."

I wasn't entirely sure I understood. But clearly she did, and I got the gist of it. It reminded me of something she had said the last time she was in my room. I sat next to her on my bed.

"You know, Tam, I think I have some things to work through as well. A few days ago you told me I'm bad at accepting thanks for my help. I've sort of realised that I have a bit of a martyrdom complex. As if the only way to help someone is to make a sacrifice, and that if I get any benefit from it, it means it's not actually helping them. Maybe if I was more mindful, I wouldn't have jumped to the conclusion that giving in to our impulses would be bad for you, or maybe I would have at least stopped to ask you about it."

"Sounds like we both have some room for improvement," she said drily, then sighed. "Maybe in future, when you're helping someone, you could try letting them give something back as thanks every now and then?"

She sat there, posture slouched, eyes red and puffy from crying, hair bedraggled over her face. I desperately wanted to kiss this beautiful creature.

Welp, I guess today I'm finally giving in to my impulses.

It was a sweet, chaste, first time kiss. Her lips were soft, brushing across mine, and all we did was sit there, still and silent as the world took a breath to grant us this moment. As we parted she blinked, her eyelashes fluttering like butterfly wings, her vision refocusing. She gave me a look. Then she threw herself into me and mashed her face against mine - our second kiss held a lot more passion.

We were both still a bit of a mess, neither of us in perfect condition for whatever erotic act was inevitably approaching. We hastily brushed our teeth together, staring at each other in the bathroom mirror while I had my free hand up her shirt and she used hers to hold my forearm. She suggested a shower. I told her that would take too long, and that we could jump in the pool to wash off instead. We stripped down to our skin and held hands as we ran down the stairs and took the plunge. We gave ourselves and each other a quick rubdown in the pool, and I got distracted with my mouth on her nipples until she brought me back to reality with a warm grasp on my needy erection. I stood up and moved in front of her, breaking her grip. With both hands I held her head, giving her hastily-splashed face a brief inspection. With my thumb I rubbed away a little bit of sleep she had missed, then kissed the spot it had been.

"Happy?" I asked.

"Very, and hopefully even happier soon," she replied, pressing her entire body against mine, my dick fully enveloped with the underside nestled against her smooth abdomen. I groaned and put my hands on her bum, lifting her so I could wade towards the side. I heaved her out of the water and deposited her onto the concrete, her butt hitting the pavement with a wet slap, then hastily climbed out after her. She stayed sitting on the tiles, dripping as I loomed over her, looking up at my hard cock with a meek expression. Her eyes shifted to mine.

"Are you going to take me, out here?"

"I'm considering it, but I think this time I'd rather make you cum as loud as possible, so I think we're going to go to your room and shut all the windows for soundproofing. That way you won't have any excuse to hold in your screams."

She shivered.

I lifted her to her feet. "Lead me to your bed," I told her, letting her pull my hand as we stumbled back inside. We found a towel on her bedroom floor - I dried my important bits then flung it at her. I lasted about 5 seconds of watching her dry off with the towel around her head before losing patience, tackling her blind into the soft mattress and claiming her lips again once her face emerged. I could feel her smile through our kiss.

After our midnight dunking, her skin was furnace-hot against mine, and it felt like the remaining water would surely burn off into steam. I left her face and hurriedly dragged my lips down her body, licking up each and every bead of water that remained until I found myself at her blossoming pussy. I wasted no time in diving in, eliciting her first cry of the night. Her damp thighs closed around my ears, and I found myself subconsciously humping her mattress as my cock cried for release.

Neither of us could take much more of this. "Please, take me. Hurry up and put your dick in me. Take me, take me," she begged. I climbed up her, desperately fumbling as I tried to align myself with her entrance, and finally sinking in to the hilt. That was her second cry of the night. God, this felt right, her legs splayed out beneath me, feet hooked around trying to pull me further in, our pelvises pressed against one another as I gazed down at her expression of ecstasy. Eyes closed, she tried to hump up at me, only succeeding in driving herself further into her bed. I waited until she opened her eyes and met my stare to gently draw out of her and then slowly sink back in, watching her face flutter. I did it again. Her expression begged for more. I couldn't deny her any longer, picking up the pace until it became the ravaging she had fantasised. I pistoned in and out, focusing on maintaining a rhythm, forcing my muscles to work through the exertion. With a hand between her legs, she shivered around me, chest arching up and head thrown back. That was enough to send me over the edge to join her, and I came inside her quivering pussy, immersed in her cries of pleasure.

I collapsed onto the bed beside her, both of us sweating and panting as we stared at the ceiling.

"Fuck," she said, then reached over and grasped my softening member in her delicate hand, massaging me gently to reverse its course as I returned to full mast. Now it was her turn to be on top, swinging her leg over to line us up again and sinking down onto me. I winced a little at the sensation, not quite ready for more stimulation, but she just sat there clenching around me and playing with her clit until I was ready to go again. With her hands on my chest she rose up and down, at a more luxurious pace this time, now that the ravenous hunger had been somewhat satiated.

Eventually she got bored. "Can you take me again?"

Yes. Yes I could.

We flipped over so I could be on top. From this vantage point I saw her phone sitting on her bedside table, and I was struck with inspiration. I stopped her from rolling over so that I could still see her face, then explained my idea.

-----

It was probably 3am where Georgia was. She answered the phone sleepily. "Hello? Tammy? What's up, are you okay?"

"It's me," I said. "Turn on video chat, I need to show you something."

The phone blinked, and eventually came into focus showing her bleary-eyed face squinting against the glare of her hotel's bedside lamp. Her brow furrowed in confusion at seeing my sweaty face. "What's up? Why are you calling from Tammy's phone? Is she OK?"

"Let's ask her. Tam, are you OK?" I switched the phone camera to point down at Tamsyn's sex-flushed face, lying in her bed.

"I'm fucking fantastic," she drawled, as I lazily pumped into her. "I'm finally getting fucked by someone who truly loves me."

There was a pause on the other end of the line as Georgia's sleep-addled brain pieced together what was happening. "Wait, you mean, right now?" her voice croaked. I quickly panned down to the place where we were joined, then back up to Tamsyn's blushing face. "Oh," Georgia eventually said, in the polite tone of someone who had stumbled into a private moment and didn't want to cause offence.

"We had a bit of a rollercoaster ride but I think we finally managed to get on the same page about our relationship" I clarified as if it were a simple business deal.

"Right. Um, well I'm glad it's working out."

I slammed into Tam more forcefully, and she gave a bit of a whimper. I don't think Georgia realised I could see her biting her lip in the corner of the screen.

"I told Tam about your compersion thing," I said.

"You WHAT?!" she squeaked.

"We thought you might want to watch," Tam continued calmly.

There was no response.

"But," I continued, "that feels a little bit like rewarding bad behaviour. You've been pretty manipulative lately, and Tam has reminded me that it's not our place to try manipulate her, she can make her own decisions. So this video call isn't about you, it's about her - about proving to her that my love for her is just as real as it is for you. So instead of letting you watch, we're just gonna let you listen, OK? I'm sure your imagination can fill in the blanks."

"Wait-" she said, before I put her on mute and threw the phone onto the bed. It landed face up giving Georgia a boring view of the empty ceiling. I wasn't lying, this really was about Tamsyn, and proving to her that she was my Number One priority in this moment. And I knew that once Georgia had the full context she would approve of what I was doing. I was also pretty sure that even if she didn't yet understand the full context, she would still find this experience pretty hot. That was confirmed by the fact that she chose to stay on the line, listening to our lovemaking.

I focused all my attention back on Tamsyn. "Will she be okay?" she asked, despite having agreed to this plan mere moments ago.

"This isn't about her, it's about you," I replied. "Now what do you want, my love?"

"I want you to do whatever you want to me."

"What I want," I said, "is to indulge your deepest desires that you never felt safe asking anyone else." She whimpered. "Now, are you going to be a good girl and tell me what those desires are, or are you going to make me spank them out of you?"

She bit her lip and shook her head. I guess that meant the answer was the same either way.

I pulled out and flipped her onto her stomach, eliciting a groan of anticipation. I lovingly rubbed my palms all over her cheeks in preparation.

THWAP! She moaned, even though this was only the first one. "That was for keeping secrets. Are you going to tell me your desires now?"

Silence.

THWAP! "You know what I think?"

She moaned again.

THWAP! "I think spanking is your deepest desire, you're just too embarrassed to admit it."

She buried her face in her pillow.

THWAP! "Am I right?"

She hesitated, then shook her head.

THWAP! "Don't lie to me Tamsyn. Am I right?"

She hung her head.

THWAP! "If it's not spanking, what is it?"

Silence again. I shimmied forward and rested my member between her cheeks, a signal that the spanking was on hold. I leaned forward to start massaging her shoulders, unable to resist humping her booty a bit at the same time.

She squirmed a bit, then gave in. "Okay, okay," she relented under my gentle ministrations, "I like getting spanked, please keep going."

I gave her a bit of a reprieve, going back to sitting on her legs with my hands on her cheeks. "Thank you for your honesty," I complimented. "Now why didn't you admit it the first time I asked?"

She hesitated again.

THWAP! "Answer the question, Tamsyn."

"Because it's bad. People aren't supposed to like stuff like that."

THWAP! That one was harder than the others, eliciting a whimper and some twitching. "I told you not to lie to me Tamsyn. That includes lies about what people are allowed to like."

"I'm sorry. I'll try not to be ashamed of it anymore." She was arching her butt up now, trying to redirect the hands resting on her bottom closer to her pleasure centre. "Are you going to fuck me again?"

THWAP! "You don't deserve to get fucked. You've been a bad girl. Bad girls get spanked, only good girls get fucked."

"I'm sorry, I'll be a good girl. Please just tell me how I can make it up to you."

"Good girls aren't embarrassed to admit what they want. If a good girl wants a spanking, or a fucking, she asks politely for one."

"Please, put your dick in me. Please fuck me, I'm ready."

I climbed up and knelt either side of her beautiful posterior, teasing her pussy with the tip of my dick. "Do you deserve it?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a good girl, I asked politely for what I wanted."

I slammed in, sliding into her damp opening and holding myself there, my weight deliciously pinning her nubile body between my hips and her bed. She groaned in relief. I paused, holding my next thrust hostage. "Why else?"

"Huh?"

"Why else do you deserve my love?"

"I don't know."

THWAP! I had to change what part of her I was targeting, but that didn't stop her from convulsing around me. "What were those affirmations for that I made you do last week? What makes you a good person?"

"Because I love Georgia, and I love you."

I rewarded her with a deep thrust, a quick in and out. She mewled. "What else?"

"I'm a good friend."

She got two more thrusts.

"I'm working on improving myself."

Four this time, then I started a slow and steady rhythm. "What else?"

"I'm trying to be less reliant on the approval of others."

I sped up a little, a groan escaping from my chest, and I felt her clench in response, letting out a moan of her own.

"I said no to that guy I went on a date with because he wasn't right for me, even though he was hot."

I sped up again, to a nice sustainable pace.

"Um... I'm running out of things to say," she admitted.

"That's okay, you're still learning. I'll help you fill in the blanks," I said. "Repeat after me: I'm a good person."

"I'm a good person." I rewarded her with some harder thrusts.

"I'm kind."

"I'm kind."

"I'm generous."

"I'm generous."

"I'm beautiful."

"I'm beautiful."

By this point I was vigourously pumping into her, both of us starting to pant.

"I make my friends happy. I make my family happy. I make myself happy." She parroted it back between breaths.

"I make myself happy," I repeated.

"I make myself happy". She gave up on propping her head up, letting her face hit the bed.