All Comments on 'Ugly American Ch. 01'

Don't let an earthquake, alien attack, or anthing else stop you from finishing this exciting tale. Thank you.

Finally, please let us know what AJ is doing while you are on board the ship.

This puts you in my daily check list.

I like the story. It's actually an exciting start to a tale. I like the humor woven into the story. I am interested in the Zoie character-I imagine there is more of a backstory that will be explained. I like the main character. I started reading it, and said to myself "OK, the wife is going to leave him for an exciting life like the author of the book, I get it.." Granted, I expected a little something extra, because you are the author. What I didn't expect was that all of that would just be mere prologue to what seems like it is going to be an interesting tale. Not much eroticism, yet, but that's ok.

Thanks for sharing a great beginning.....

Looks like a promising story. Thanks a lot for your effort and keep up the great work. ^__^

This chapter ended up very exciting. bring in chapter 2.

The story has so many heads I am not sure what one I want to follow!

On SOL I read a Romantic story from cpete (the bought husband) and this story will be excellent as well. BTW 5 stars.

Can't wait for chapter 2. Bring it on .

When I was a kid (back in the 1950's) we watched a western on TV. Every eposide ended with some cliff hanger such as the stage coach flying off the cliff. We had a hard time waiting until the next episode a week later. I sure hope I don't have to wait long for chapter two.

Cpete has made a great start to what can be an exceptional effort. Looking forward to continuing chapters.

I love great mistakes, in shy town. Pax River brought back memories, great story c-pete

touching base with every cliche in the manual, a sweet stroll along a favorite trail.

Loved it when he self-deprecated about cutting off her phone. Every paragraph had it's own storyline, couldn't stop once I'd started, though I had to grit my teeth once or twice. I'd love to see 'Loving Wives, the musical' done by you. I also felt you may have just skimped on the immediate aftermath of her leaving, maybe a passage short. Hope you stick around and further your career on Lit. Thanks. Five stars.

Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Great pacing. Great characters and character progression. Cant wait for next chapter. And the Groucho Marx line was hilarious.

But this story is so good so far, it has put you into a new catagory of writers. This story ranks you with the best. Please don't keep us waiting too long. Of course you get 5* from me. No other score would be possible.

Although probably not to this degree, most husbands can relate to being treated by the spouse as this guy was. Women just do not share the same kind of commitment bonds as men. Women can commit initially, but if at any time the fidelity/respect connection is breached, the real relationship is dead. Unfortunately, modern females are ultimately incredibly selfish. Generally, if they do make any sacrifice for family, they end up rebelling in outrageous fashion and blaming their loved ones. Good plot line.

well done

Good so far and I'm looking forward to the rest of your story. I just have one nit to pick. A blank pistol in contact or a few inches away is lethal. When fired, the chamber pressure is more than enough to force the wad right through a person's skull. Look up Jon-Erik Hexum for an example. There have been other serious injuries on movie sets resulting from careless handling of firearms loaded with blanks.

its actions against those who may give harm...TK U MLJ LV NV

it's sort of like Lake Woebegone with a dash of Twin Peaks thrown in for good measure. That's the best description that's coming to mind but regardless - it's hella-working for me. Thanks go out to author ( & Miko 2).

Cpete did NOT write that our hero put the pistol to the bully's head. He put the barrel next to the bully's ear. The wad hit the wall or ceiling behind. (I've been shot with a .22 blank from across a big room, and it certainly smarted!)

A great story.......... now don't keep us all waiting for the next chapters. I hope there are posted very soon. Thank you

Good plot, good man with a backbone and foresight. Look to him happily ever after and her and the deuschbag... Not so much.

Please have someone edit for you, please.

My Error this was not the edited version, So all errors are mine

I SAW THAT AUTHOR ON A TALK SHOW!

The book is called "Hiroshima in the Morning" and the author did bail on her husband and kids, Her Best selling book is all the rage of what the "new" lady should aspire to,

I posted the incorrect version of ths chapter. Not the correctly edited version. All Errors are mine.

cpete

A good story, nice pace but - please don't pull a D. Steele and make it a very long story, with a lot of waiting between chapters...and...

please don't justify or reunite him with his ex.

Thanks for what seems like a good read! Looking forward to more.

Nice start, good reading, don't worry about the edit issues.

I hope the rest of the story is of the same quality. If so, I'd like to give a 5+ and qualify it as brilliant.

You have my attention...like the Saturday Morning Movie Adventure....a gem...you have talent..printed it off..going to keep it like a novel....way to go

Ramming another ship with an ocean liner while taking a ship full of passengers into combat, is a little improbable. I suspect the head office may require the Capitans head (and balls) on a platter.

But it sure makes for a fucking great story and I'm loving the hell outta this!

You should read some of the "improbable's" of Dirk Pitt, (or maybe you have).

This is "write" up there with Clive's best.

Dumping and igniting the jet fuel was a stroke of genius, and forgetting to duck is a classic rookey mistake, and keeps our unlikely hero humble. Hopefully the flash burns will heal without scaring.

Or better yet he & Zoie can live "fugly" ever after. LMAO!

Looking forward to the next chapter(s) with baited breath. (I had sushi for dinner! ROFLMAO!)

This was better than Red Skelton reruns!

A little bit of everything has happened in this story so far.

It will be interesting to read what is going to happen to our hero in the upcoming chapter.

Thanks for the read

Clive C may have some competition.

ramming of a pirate vessel by a cruise ship, never heard of such a stupid maneuver ! and i have been a sailor for years.

Really enjoying reading the story, it is really well developed hope it keeps tracking this way

I have enjoyed your writings, but this is by far the best. It has it all! The plot, the research,the settings, and characters have been blended into a wonderful 1st chapter. Looking forward to more!

Thank you!

M1

One of the most interesting stories I've read in a while.

Anita's callousness and cruelty is well done, I hate her already! Even if she hadn't been cheating with Wes, and she wanted out, there was probably no way Darrin could've talked her out of it. She and that woman author on TV, are utter bigots about gender issues. It'd be like arguing with someone from the Ku Klux Klan about black people. You're never ever gonna convince them. You've excellently portrayed Anita as a villain.

The same goes for Wes, although he'd been taken down a notch or two by the video.

For some strange reason, I actually liked the fact that Anita did not "come to her senses", or realized how incredibly selfish and evil she had been (and still was). If she was THAT convinced of her "right" to cheat with another man and abandon her family, and in the process practically destroy them, just some bad stuff happening as consequences of her actions won't faze her. Like in this story, she blames it on Darrin, Wes, everybody except admit that she brought it on herself. People never think of themselves as the bad guy. She STAYS selfish, and that makes her a good villain, readers can hate her in peace. And if bad stuff happen to her, it's her own fault!

Anyway (went off on a tangent there!), I'm eagerly awaiting chapter 2.

This is a fun read so far, hope to see more

But could you please learn to use the word "than?"

This is a fun read. I'm looking forward to the next installment.

To posters talking about blanks and wads and damage hat can be done when firing blanks . A professional starter pistol has a solid barrel. It is just for show like a big cap gun. But they are F'ning LOUD!

Anita, her husband and her lover are all base characters with almost no redeeming qualities. While hubby does does provide for his son, it is only to prevent his future ex wife from acquiring any assets. Having had an ex who did (or tried to) something similar to claim poverty and reduce the amount of marital assets remaining to avoid or lessen the amount for redistribution....well the judge saw through his efforts and awarded me a larger share and my ex had the opportunity to see life from the inside of a prison cell.

Personally, I didn't like any of the characters in this story. They are all more interested in making each others life miserable and satisfying their own base pleasure while ignoring the one person who should matter most...their son.

This started with the standard, out of the box, stupid wife & shagging the boss sinario but it has just got real interesting! I look forward to the next bit.

This is a hell of a tale so far. The mental image of those Scottish backsides hanging over the railing though...........was just a bit too much - lol.

His actions against the ex and Wes were very effective.......but pretty fantastic. In the heat of the moment, not many of us would have the wherewithal to bring it off.

Thanks for the story - waiting out for the next Chapter. 5*****

Come on!!!!! Let's get on with the story. Great yarn!

This was a very good effort to give the readers a little of everything. Was it totally believable? Not really, but it is easy to suspend disbelief for stories like this. I really enjoy it when LW stories have action and adventure. We can see that our hero will wind up traveling the world and hooking up with a beautiful Eastern European. thus making his revenge complete! This was just a lot of fun.

Interesting twist where he becomes the world traveler and his wife cruises motels in the tri-state area.

Cpete is a copycat!

In 2005 the Seaborn Spirit Cruise ship with 210 passengers was attacked by Somali pirates.

-The Captain DID ram the pirate boat.

-An elderly group of Welsh passengers DID hold off the boarding, by throwing anything on deck not nailed down at the pirates.

-The Ship DID drive off the remaining pirates with several Audio weapons called Long Range Acoustic Device (called LRAD)

The only original part was the jet fuel fire.

I was entertained.

I am curious what you are going to do with two more full parts, however.

I liked it, especially the humor but I hope you aren't just knocking of "When we were married". Seems identical so far.

already submitted. When is Lit going to release the rest. Great story and I want more now!!!

Has a little action to it, too. It would be funny for him to send his ex postcards. Perhaps he could wirte a book on it, too.

Funny, I remember listening to that woman author on some show on Sirius/XM radio talking about her life and I had the same reaction as your character...how selfish she was...she went on to talk about how wonderful her husband was (after he got over her abandonment) and how basically neurotic her children were/are because of their living arrangements and visitations. She chuckled blithely as she related her trials and tribulations with her children. What struck me was how self centered she was in trying to justify her actions. Further how fucked up her children were going to be....soon to be the next Jeffrey Dahmer or Squeaky Fromme. She thought their neuroses were good for them. Basically she whined in a very smug and selfish tone...trying to convince one and all that her actions did not have dire consequences for her husband or her children. Her story had a pseudo dramatic quality that was very calculated and unbeknownst to her, very self serving and self centered. See you next Tuesday!

Great story cpete...thrilling on both a physical as well as a psychological plane. Just a delicious read.

I read recently some asshole bemoaning the death of the Loving Wife category and in turn belittling contributors, commentators and authors. His silly diatribe reminded me of that woman on Sirius/XM radio...pseudo cleverness carried to a ridiculous and calculating extreme. In reality some of the best short story literature today can be found on Literotica.

This is the start of a great yarn! Can't wait for more!

First I'd like to reiterate my & numerous other LW afficianados feeling(s) of what a great read this was. One niggling thing that came to mind was the narrator ( a mechanic ) ignored the equivalent of a Check Marital Engine Light when he found out his wife was a fan of borderline femi-nazi author & wayward mother.

He knew his wife yearned to travel but the travails of their son being ill up to the recent past had stinted that dream. They did have savings in the bank that could have conceivably been used to fund a vacation ( later paid to son's future tuition upon discovery of infidelity ) .

The trip could have been the ounce of prevention that headed off her affair with shyster lawyer. The wife at that point in time might well have thought her aspirations were merely being paid cursory lip service.

I'm not posting this not so much to take issue with C- Pete's borderline masterful story. This is meant as a head's up to men who've entered into a relationship with a woman who have some kind of grand dream/ goal. Once the resources are in place to make that goal happen & you shelve or set aside it for any number of ' reasonable realities that ' seem ' to have priority at that time.

It's enough to say you are on thin ice & quite possibly the target of your significant other's resentment. Now the wife in this story was a real piece of work & a trip to Morroco or whatever foreign country might well not have headed off her serial trysts but with my inset advantage of reader all seeing/ all knowing 20/20 vision - a case could be made that though the narrator did many, many things right over the events of this story.

He missed a red flag & a potential opportunity to quell a spark or ember of discontent that eventually burnt down his marriage. Having picked that nit, I'll thank the author again & cannot wait for the subsequent parts to this educational & humorous saga.

I do not forget to mention a other excellent Lit Author name Vulcez and his diamond story "How are you". If somebody cpete's story readers has not read yet it, I recommend to do it. That story regards well wiith cpet's gem.

Nicely done. Darrin may have to thank Wes and ex for the opportunity to do travel and adventure, whilst they...muddle. Maybe Wes can cheat on her next and leave her in an even worse situation.

Shame about submissions not hapening.

Excellent story with one of the best lines:

"Sometimes I think the damn blokes would still have sails on the ships." LMAO

Fucking loved it! This is what writing should be about!!!

So I rated it 4 stars even though it had silly errors like an ex-navy man not knowing the 24 hour clock that the navy uses.

THROUGH write the damn word, not THRU and find a new editor Mikothebaby ALWAYS misses a lot of errors!

"Dad I do not want to be in Moms wedding. It is the same day as the Salander swim meet. Can't I just skip this one and go to Mom's next wedding?'

I almost hurt myself laughing at that one.

We need more of this type of story.

and this is not the Pirates of Pensance, TK U MLJ LV NV

Can't I just skip this one and go to Mom's next wedding?' - laughed so hard I almost peed meself!

ROTFLMMFAO!!!!

This one was good too:

"Look at it this way Anita, you wanted to be a part time wife and mother --this is the part of the time you're not my wife or AJ's mother."

Then she was arrested.

Poor editing, and that statement that after a year he still loved Anita with all his heart.

Oh, BS.

A cute story. Sloppy editing kept getting in the way.

"She paused for a moment as I looked confused. "Darrin that is 10PM in your American time. I would as you say..much enjoy to see you there."

Pardon my confusion...thought you said Darrin was in the Navy. By odd coincidence, so was I, and I dimly recall one of the first things they did was beat military time into our heads.

Military time, AKA the 24 hour clock, is drilled into everyone who goes through Basic Training or Boot Camp, whichever your chosen branch of service calls it. Other than that, I couldn't fault the storyline in this tale. Great first chapter!

5 Stars.

Can't wait to see where this goes!

“I think it's not so selfish for women to say 'okay, I would like to have my own priority”

That’s fine, but does your husband get the same option?

"You can always go back to hubby, and kids if you change your mind years later down the road.”

Yeah, but not hubby, right?

Wow, when she can find 4 or 5 hours for her CHILDREN she’s 100% devoted to them! Stop the presses!!

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!

Wow...pretty damn good start.

So they could have traveled and he would have still had a marriage if he had spent their savings?

Their son had cancer twice and they were catching up on their huge debt from it.

Spend their savings on travel and then what if the cancer comes a third time? (Yes, that does happen, yes, even to children)

“Two sons, age 5 and 3, and my childhood-sweetheart husband, my partner for 20 years.” – They were together for FIFTEEN years before having kids?

“She is such a valiant, bold, courageous lady." – Oh, it’s SO courageous to do just what you want!

"Darrin the firm had no knowledge of Wesley's actions that day, nor did we condone or approve of any such behavior of the people Wesley had contracted as a private matter between he and your wife." – And yet, instead of punishing him for these actions that they don’t condone or approve of, they’re supporting him?!

“I still loved Anita, and I knew it would tear my heart out each time I saw her.” – I’m sorry, I know it’s usual in these stories that “you can’t turn love of and on”, but if my wife acted so unfeelingly towards me and my son, it would pretty much kill my love for her.

“She is such a valiant, bold, courageous lady." – What’s “bold, courageous” about doing just what you want to do?

"And you Darrin have admittedly made keeping Wesley out of jail much more difficult with your little video stunt." – His video “stunt” would have been meaningless if Wes hadn’t tried to strong-arm Darrin.

The senior partner wants it both ways – he doesn’t want the firm to be held responsible for Wes’s actions, but also doesn’t want to fire Wes for the misuse of firm resources.

Nuff said.

Quite engaging, this story. The grammar is no real problem for me, neither are the misspellings. While I'm a bit of a perfectionist at heart (I try not to be since it's so unrealistic) and have to work at not obsessing over incorrect tenses, spelling, things of that nature; I realize these stories are free, they're written by people who do this as a hobby, and all writers and editors here are giving up their free time to create a pleasant experience for folks they'll probably never meet.

Can't stand the ex-wife Anita; the more pain dumped on her head the better I'll like it. I'd also add that I can't stand Wes, but nobody likes lawyers so it goes without saying. Neither can I stand Oprah and any "progressive" woman's show on TV, like the one described in this story.

Imagine a Mother who can shrug off ALL responsibility for her family, abandon them, and then stand and brag about it on national TV. Yes, I know this is just a story, but it happens all the time and I have zero respect - ZERO - for someone who brings a child into this world and then, tiring of the responsibility of being a parent, hands that child off to someone else to raise. Why don't they just tattoo "I'm not worth the trouble to love" on the child's forehead? Because that's what abandoned children see every time they look in the mirror anyway.

Great story, 5 stars.

Mostly repeats here!

“I didn't like that -it was very unpleasant.” – It’s “unpleasant for her to get a CALL about it; HE has to PHYSICALLY deal with it!

These women always talk about being “taken over” by their roles as wife and mother. They never consider that the MEN are taken over by THEIR roles as husband and father!

Oh, it’s SO “brave” to just do what you want and disregard your responsibilities!

“I got into her part about traveling the world, meeting different people.” – So, maybe DARRIN would like to travel the world, meet different people!

“You know for all the places he was taking me.” – I thought it was part of your JOB?

If the firm didn’t condone or approve of his actions, why didn’t the firm punish him?

While he got a great settlement, and it probably wasn’t worth the risk to fight for more, he should have gotten full custody and child support.

I don't get that he still loves her!

This story desperately needs more proofreading, I've read a few of the author's stories and this one is the least polished of the lot.

Too many typos and grammar errors.

I read it. I understood what the author was saying. Nothing was blatently outrageous. Good first chapter to a hopeful great story.

I agree with Anonymous. Very witty and entertaining.

Well, I can see that the grammar was partially intentional, to cover different languages, for a start.

What WAS refreshing to me, was that cpete didn't spell 'shining' as shinning, a mistake I see again and again on here.

Besides that, it's a cracking adventure, looking forward to the follow-up chapters. A great read so far, cpete, having fun. 5 stars.

One of those stories you are ready to jump to the next chapter after reading the first. Contains all the elements of a good LW'S story.

There are some authors here that as soon as I seen them post a story I check it out. Somehow I missed this one from cpete. Grammar Nazi's are still alive and well according to the comments but to hell with that. This is a fun 5 star story.

You not using contractions makes me wanna punch you in the face but you’re an excellent writer so that takes a lot of the sting out of it. That shit still gets on my damn nerves though!

5 Stars again!!!

"You are not going to allow the Mother of your child...your wife to be arrested are you?"

"Look at it this way Anita, you wanted to be a part time wife and mother --this is the part of the time you're not my wife or AJ's mother."

That was brilliant!

Well Done. Five Stars.

I can’t believe I’ve never read this great story. We’ve got a bitch cheating wife, an old lawyer asshole and even Somali pirates. I just hope Anita gets burned like the pirates.

Why didn't the authors husband stop her seeing her children?.She walked out on them, so why should she be allowed to see them,give her some of the pain she caused.

A terrific story; enjoying all aspects of it. Keep it going . . . Great job, Author!

He was in the navy but did not know what 2200 meant?

Very nice writing!

I especially enjoyed your sense of humor injected into the story line!

Not too shabby so far, lol. Liked the way Darrin handled the guy from Wes's company wanting things to go away. Not bad for a non-lawyer. I am wondering where AJ is during the time Darrin is at sea?

What happened to his son?.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Awesome start!