Ugly Turkey

"But what are we going to feed them?" Rena whined.

"We? WE? I'm not feeding them anything," Bryce said. "They're on some kind of special diet? They should have let us know about those restrictions. Not wait until they're already here and lunch is already done."

"Um, let's see," Rena said, sliding open the pantry and looking at the meager selections on Bryce's shelf. "Bryce? Where is everything?"

Bryce didn't answer; he was busy carrying various platters to the dining room. Frankie did ask his little sister if her boyfriend was always so rude.

"Where is everything? Uh, Rena? Who's been out of work for almost six months now?" Bryce asked, returning to the kitchen for the next load.

Amy, an emaciated blonde of six feet stood in the kitchen. Bryce regarded the freakish woman with thinly veiled dislike.

"We're vegan because..." Amy started to explain in a nasally whine.

"The first rule of Vegan Club? Tell everyone all about Vegan Club," Bryce said. "Hey, Amy? Hate to break it to you. No one gives a fuck about why you're vegan."

"Bryce, you, this? This is all you have?" Rena asked, dismayed.

"Uh huh. Guess who went broke to feed your family. Who I did not invite," Bryce snapped. "Happy Thanksgiving. Amy, either grab something and help or move your bony ass out of the way, huh?"

"Food's ready," Bryce called out from the dining room.

"Bryce, let my daddy do the turkey," Rena hissed, gently but firmly pushing Bryce to the left of the head of his own table.

"What?" Bryce asked, incensed.

"Please," Rena hissed through clenched teeth. "It's a sign of respect."

"A sign of..." Bryce hissed back. "Uh, which your family has shown none of to me, huh?"

Big Dan removed his heavy suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves. Uncle Joey immediately pushed Bryce one more seat down so that Marie could sit to Dan's left. Bryce fought down the irritation and moved to sit to Dan's right, but Uncle Joey took that seat of honor.

Rena saw the thunderous look on Bryce's face and tried to smile apologetically. Bryce took the seat next to Marie, across from Aunt Sylvie. Rena sat across from Frankie, a carbon copy of his short, fat, rapidly balding father, minus the dark suit and dark tie. Amy took the seat at the foot of the table.

"Hey Joey, why you don't bless this meal, eh?" Big Dan said, voice a heavily accented husk.

"We're atheists," Amy said.

"No one gives a fuck, Amy," Bryce said.

Joey droned on and on, blessing the food, blessing his favorite political party, blessing his beautiful wife. Before Bryce could react, Aunt Sylvie reminded her husband that there were people waiting to eat while the food was still warm.

Big Dan mangled the carving of the turkey. Bryce glared at Rena, who had the grace to look embarrassed.

"Well, we can have the dressing, right?" Frankie suggested to Amy.

"Made with chicken stock," Bryce said.

Bryce delighted in negating each dish; the sweet potato casserole had been sweetened with honey. The green bean casserole had milk, whole milk. The rolls obtained their shiny exterior from butter, butter, not margarine.

"But I'm sure there's a jar of peanut butter somewhere in the pantry; want me to get that for you?" Bryce said.

"So, uh, Bryce? Tell me, my daughter, my little girl, eh?" Big Dan said, sitting to eat his meal. "So uh, what are your intentions with my little girl?"

"Daddy!" Rena squealed, pretending to be embarrassed.

"Well, Big Dan," Bryce said, not bothering to hide his disdain. "I don't have any intentions with your little girl."

"What?" Marie asked, shocked at the rude, insolent man's answer.

"I don't believe..." Aunt Sylvie gasped.

"But uh, why don't you ask whoever she was fucking while I was on my job interview?" Bryce asked. "I'm sure he, or they, was it more than one, Rena? I'm sure they have all kind of intentions for your little girl there, Big Dan."

"What?" Rena gasped, horrified.

"There were two condoms left in the box when I flew out. I came back and there were seven missing from a brand new box," Bryce explained to the stunned Rena and her family.

"I, I don't know what you're talking..." Rena blustered.

"And the tube of jelly? I threw out the last tube on my way out the front door. Brand new tube, a brand new tube was half gone by the time I got back. Oh, and Big Dan? Just in case you're wondering? I was gone for all of three days," Bryce explained.

Bryce stood up. He put his napkin on the table next to his plate. Each person at the table looked at him, unmoving.

"Her clothes are all in the garage in those black garbage bags. Happy fucking Thanksgiving. Enjoy your lunch," Bryce said, walking to the door leading to the kitchen. "But make sure you take her and her shit with you when you go."

"Happy fucking Thanksgiving," Bryce said, pouring himself a generous amount of his St. Elizabeth Superior Whiskey.

Sitting in his favorite recliner, Bryce toasted his new job with the Garland County Water & Sewage Treatment Facility. He heard the mumbling of voices, the shuffling of feet from the confines of his den. Thirty minutes later, Bryce returned to the dining room. The mangled, ugly turkey looked sad, pathetic on the large platter. The ham had been reduced significantly. Everyone's barely touched meals were still sitting right where the Lugami clan had left them. Bryce shook his head and grabbed his own plate. He reheated the food in the microwave then sat at his kitchen table to enjoy his Thanksgiving meal.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Rena," Bryce smirked, chewing the delicious turkey. "And uh, Merry fucking Christmas too."

"God damn, that is one ugly ass turkey," Bryce said as he sliced himself a second helping of turkey breast.

Under the tutelage of Jason Fasterling, Bryce Adams was an excellent Operations Manager. He endured the brutal winter with a smile; his apartment had a good heating system. There was also an attractive older neighbor that was willing to share his bed on occasion. According to Darlene, she wasn't looking for a commitment; she was just looking for some fun.

The End

***Author's Note: I write these stories for my pleasure; I post them here for your enjoyment.

I thank you sincerely for reading my stories.

Likewise, I also thank those that take the time to leave comments, good and bad. I also thank those that take the time to rate my words, those that take the time to 'Favorite' my works.

Bryce Adams is the primary character in 'Bryce in the Park's Bathroom' in the Transgender & Crossdressers category. He is mentioned briefly in 'Rummates Pt. 11' in the Loving Wives category.

Lorena Rena Lugami is a minor character in 'Last Days of Summer' in the Lesbian Sex category.

Jason Fasterling, the CEO of the Garland County Water and Sewage Treatment Facility is a minor character first introduced in 'Each Day' in the Loving Wives category. He is a primary character in 'Mixed Drinks, Bad Sunburn' in the Anal category.

Brian Eckles, the CFO is briefly mentioned in 'Week of the Big Four Oh' in the Loving Wives category.

Darlene, the older neighbor that warms Bryce's bed is a character first introduced in 'Week of the Big Four Oh' in Loving Wives. I guess she finally tired of Gary, the Dallas Cowboy's fan dragging her down.

So, Happy Thanksgiving. And Merry Christmas.

Have a swell day. And some of you, have a swollen day.