All Comments on 'Unbeknownst'

A strong performance from a writer

A crushing romantic success!

First time reading a story by you and was very impressed with the quality and style. I love the whole premise. Bravo!

Christy

Awesome story. Congratulations

Good story. Good length and well written.

I thought the 'discovery' scene was well done and avoided a lot of cliches. I expected Eliza to be a bit more surprised or sceptical with the sudden revelation.

Would like to have found out a bit more about Dani's past/history. Apart from a tiny amount of background, she just seems to have dropped on to the planet one day to become the perfect nanny and partner. It wasn't important though. I know there is only so much exposition you can put in a story before it becomes tedious.

I did find some of the major plot twists a bit predictable, but they were well written so I didn't mind that either.

Still 5/5

This story was perfection to me. You wrote such a wonderfully emotional and dramatic piece of literature that I have to reread it after I finish this comment. The story itself has complete realism and draws you in while you wonder what will happen next. I have to admit that I wouldn’t have had any problem if a particular person decided to leave by someone else’s decision but then I think many who read this story would feel the same thing. You have serious chops as a creative writer and I cannot wait for your next story.

J.D.

I sat on this story for several months, thinking it wasn’t good enough to submit. I’ve been in a creative rut lately and have a couple more incomplete drafts gathering dust. Hearing the positive feedback helps tremendously! Thank you all for your kind words and your votes.

Nice build up of the relationship. I liked the small hints (Dani's parental estrangement, Curt's muffled phone) that implicated much bigger issues.

Very well written but not realistic that she would be fertile and get erections easily.

Excellent writing, even better storyline. Nice length that allowed for your character development and added to the plausibility of the story. Good job!! One of the best I’ve read.

Well damn it. I was raised to despise cheating and feel there are so many ways to avoid it. So I usually have at least a mild dislike for cheaters even fictional but you got me to love these characters and not dislike them at all. You wrote one heck of an engaging story I will happily read more.

I don't usually comment on stories or read stories this long but this one had me right from the start. Just a couple of errors but it was a fantastic story. Would love to find a lover like that. Worth 100 stars.