Unblended Ch. 13

*****

"UGH!" Molly Wilson slammed an order slip down in front of me and Julia Toretti for 10 extra-large pizzas of varying dispositions. It had been pretty chill at the pizzeria so far that day, so I was a little confused by the random aggression from the delivery driver.

"There a problem?" I asked, glancing over the slip and prepping the pies in my head. It was destined for an address on the western edge of town, and I thought it sounded familiar.

"Come on, this is gonna be like a 50-dollar tip!" Julia added.

"Not from those assholes," Molly said, flopping down into a nearby chair. "I'll be lucky if they don't try to set fire to my car, fuckin' fanatics."

I nodded as the coin dropped. "First Light Ecumenical," I said, "yeah, I can see where they wouldn't be too keen on tipping the scourge of decency."

"Oh, gross," Julia said.

"It's not even the tipping that's the problem," Molly continued, "I do not feel safe walking in there. I certainly don't feel welcome, and that receptionist looks like she wants to spit on me."

Julie and Molly continued discussing the church, home ground of Melissa Bourne's arch-conservative podcaster father Richard. The last time I'd seen him was a week ago, when he tipped me a century out of nowhere for prepping his to-go order, along with an invitation to join them for youth group activities. It made my flesh crawl, but it also got me thinking as I prepped the order alongside Julia.

Once the pies started baking, I turned to Molly. "You got room in your car for a ride-along?"

"Yeah, why?" she asked.

"I mean, you're the driver, so obviously you need to drive it over there, but you don't necessarily have to deliver it. If you had someone else along, I mean." I looked at Julia. "And if you can handle this on your own for a while."

"That ain't a problem," Julia said with a laugh, "the twins oughta be here soon, and I'll just get Auntie G off her giant, lazy ass."

"I heard that, you ungrateful jerk!" Gina called from the office.

"You'd do that for me?" Molly asked, looking at me gratefully.

"Well, yeah," I said, "everyone benefits from those tips. Besides, I've got an idea." I went back to the office and asked Gina for a favor. Once she knew what I had in mind, she readily agreed and set me up with what I needed.

Once the pizzas were cooked and boxed up, I helped Molly carry them out to her car, a silver Impreza 5-door. "Nice car," I commented, genuinely interested in Molly's ride.

"Thanks, at least one of us has some taste," she replied with a derisive snort. We laughed at that as we slid into the car and set off. It was a longer drive than normal given First Light's location, and we got to know each other a bit better on the way. Molly was in Julia's class at school and had gone to UMass with her. She explained that there was a serious housing shortage on campus, and she and Julie had both opted to stay at home and take most of their classes virtually. She was going for a psych degree on a tennis scholarship, which explained her lithe athlete's figure. When she asked if I was college-bound, I said yes but didn't have any idea where or for what.

We eventually drove up the long, hedge-lined driveway to First Light Evangelical. It definitely stood out, a cream-colored monolith of a megachurch surrounded by a number of other buildings. Molly pulled up in front of a building labeled "Study & Worship Center".

"Here it is," she said, handing me her ball cap with the Gina's logo on it. "Just go straight in, there's a reception desk. Here's the receipt, they just need to sign it. They could also leave a tip, if they wanted."

I stepped out of the car and pulled the delivery bags out of the backseat. "Hey, worst case scenario, they treat me the same way and I get to roast them for it."

"Get video if you do!" Molly shouted after me. I jogged over to the front doors and hit the automatic entry button. With a soft whoosh, the doors opened, and I strode forward purposefully to a wide reception area. A conservatively-dressed brunette woman eyed me suspiciously as I approached.

"Hi, I've got a delivery for..." I set one of the bags down and looked at the receipt, exerting all my willpower to not groan at the name listed there, "...Richard Bourne."

The woman narrowed her eyes as she picked up a phone and pushed a button. After a moment, she said "Mr. Bourne, your food is here," and replaced the phone in the cradle. "You can put them on the desk here," she told me before returning to her computer screen.

"Thanks," I said, doing as she indicated. Before long, a set of doors to the left open, and Richard Bourne appeared with a boy and girl maybe a few years older than me. All three were wearing tightly-cinched off-white silk robes, and my eyebrows arched almost immediately.

"Well!" Mr. Bourne said upon seeing me. "This is a welcome surprise! Welcome, Mr. Wayne!" At the mention of my name, his hangers-on looked much more interested in me, especially the guy. He was about my height, with beach-blond hair in a surfer cut and sparkling blue eyes. The girl was probably about 5' 6" and brunette, with a slightly plump face and cheerful green eyes.

"Hi, Mr. Bourne," I said, "need your signature on this." I offered him the receipt and a pen, and he took them to sign.

"Blake, this is the young man I mentioned the other day," he said, and Blake stepped forward to offer me a hand.

"Ace, right?" he asked in a lyrical baritone.

"Yeah, nice to meet you," I said, accepting the handshake. "You're one of the youth pastors, I'm guessing?"

He nodded. "Yeah, youth group meets on Saturdays and Wednesdays usually. It's a lot of fun, you should come check it out."

"Religion isn't really my thing, no offense, but I'll think about it." The vibe I was getting off of Blake told me there was a very specific definition of "fun" being referred to, but I dismissed it as me having a one-track mind. Besides, given that particular organization's feelings about "non-standard sexual orientations", I didn't think Mr. Bourne would condone that kind of fraternization.

"Here you go!" Mr. Bourne said, handing me the receipt. "Blake, Angela, you go on ahead and take these down." They nodded and each took a stack of boxes before returning from whence they came. As they passed through the door, Blake gave me one last look, and I could have sworn he'd licked his lips slightly. I shook my head in confusion and glanced down at the signed receipt, seeing that, once again, Mr. Bourne dropped an extra hundred on the order, though it was slightly more appropriate in this case. Once the two youth pastors left and Mr. Bourne started saying his goodbyes, I decided to take a chance on something.

"Sir, actually, can I ask you something?"

"Why, of course! What's on your mind?"

"Well, sir, I was talking to some of my coworkers who've delivered here in the past, and I wanted to make sure that you all tip them as well as you have me. I know," I said, raising a hand to forestall any objections, "you don't agree with the choices they've made and your beliefs are pretty firm on that, but they're not the only ones that receive those tips."

"You're correct, of course," Mr. Bourne said sternly, "our beliefs here are very clear on that sort of behavior."

"It does make you look like giant assholes, though," I said, drawing a gasp from the receptionist. "Especially if you're willing to tip me and not them. If that's how it's going to be, I'd rather not profit from your private war." I pulled the hundred-dollar bill from my pocket and offered it to him along with the receipt. "You should probably update this, as well." The receptionist gasped again, she seemed awfully jumpy to me.

This was all a calculated risk. In his first book, Mr. Bourne had written about every devout Christian "fighting a private war for their very souls" in the face of so many "deviations from His plan." I'd hoped using that specific phrase in my rejection, emphasizing that it was his war and not mine, would shake him a little. He might also realize that I'd actually read the damn thing, even if I did so for much the same reason as one stares at the aftermath of a train derailment. I figured it was fifty-fifty whether I'd pissed him off (finally) or persuaded him to see some tiny bit of reason. Either way, it was progress.

Mr. Bourne gave me a hard glare as he considered my words. It was the same look I'd gotten the last time we'd met and I told him in no uncertain terms that I was having plenty of sex with multiple blended partners: anger at being defied. But, once again, that look was replaced with a broad smile. "Mr. Wayne, I see I'm not the only one here bolstered by the strength of their convictions. I applaud you standing up for your coworkers." He waved the money and receipt off. "You've given me a bit to think about, to be sure. I dearly hope you'll take me up on my invitation to join our youth group, your voice would be a welcome addition to the conversation. Now, if you'll excuse me, I should get back. Have a blessed day!" With a whirl, he left the reception area.

I was about to leave when I heard the receptionist whisper holy shit. I looked at her, and she was looking at me with something between awe and confusion. I gave her a weak wave and left, taking the empty delivery bags with me. I tossed them into the back of Molly's car and hopped back into the passenger's seat, slapping the receipt before handing it back. "And that's how you fuckin' do it."

"Holy SHIT!" Molly screamed, giving me a kiss on the cheek before composing herself. "How did you do it?"

"I basically told him they looked like assholes the way they were behaving, and that I didn't want his tips if he didn't tip all of us. I figured he'd just stop tipping altogether, but I might have convinced him otherwise? We'll see."

"Damn, no wonder Julia wants to suck you dry, you're a fuckin' stud." I smiled at that as Molly turned the car around and started us back to the shop. It was a pleasant drive back, and Molly put on some Swedish death metal for our listening pleasure. I wouldn't have picked her for a metalhead, especially that particular flavor of metal, but she was clearly into it.

"Hey guys!" Laurie Foster greeted us when we got back to the shop. It was still pretty dead, and the twins were holding down the fort with Andie Parker, the other delivery driver and a junior at Granite Hills.

"Any problems?" Molly asked.

"Nah," Lexi said, "we've had like three orders since you've been gone, so we've been cleaning."

"Ace, you took AP US History last year, right?" Andie asked. "Did Mrs. Johnston go all out with the paper writing this early?"

"She surely did," I confirmed, "she works with the English department to make sure everyone's writing skills are up to par." I looked around, noting the obvious absences from the room. "Say, where are Fearless Leaders?"

"They're off 'cooking the books', is what Gina told us," Laurie said. I snickered and knocked on the office door, calling my name and getting the okay to come in after a moment.

So, when Gina and Julia were joking about giving each other blowjob tips, I assumed they were breaking each other's balls in the traditional manner. I certainly wasn't expecting to see Julia's head buried between Gina's legs, the older woman's head thrown back as the younger woman made incredibly obscene sounds with her mouth. I gasped (I would be told later that my exact words were "holy fuck") and stumbled backwards into the wall behind me. "Sorry!" I shouted before quickly shutting the door.

"What happened?" the other girls asked. The twins came over with concerned looks as the office door opened again with the sound of intense cackling.

"You should'a seen your face!" Julia said, her aunt doubled over in the chair laughing. They were both fully clothed, and I realized that it had been a performance to get the exact reaction I gave.

"HA HA," I said, "real mature."

"What?" Lexi asked.

"I think they got Ace with the 'office blowjob' gag," Molly said, stifling a giggle herself. Andie looked scandalized and clutched at non-existent pearls. The twins and I, however, exchanged a knowing set of grins.

"Yeah, yeah, you got me," I said, raising my hands in defeat. Julia laughed again, slapping me on the back before heading back into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry," Gina said, wiping her eyes with a napkin, "but the look on your face when we were jokin' about it the other day, we HAD to."

"Can't argue with that, I guess," I said, giving my boss a smile. "Let me know if you ever decide to do it for real, I'd love to get some video for my website."

"Yeah, sure, asshole!" Julia said with a gasp, and I snickered as I dodged around her to check the order being printed off. I figured someone should do some actual work now that there was some to do.

*****

"God, can you imagine her actually going down on her aunt?" Lexi asked, a little breathlessly.

"Fuck, that would be so hot," Laurie responded. "I'd love to get my dick between her aunt's tits, I bet they're so soft."

"Maybe we could talk them over," Lexi replied, "show them some of our home movies, get them thinking about it. What do you think, Ace?"

I couldn't say anything at that particular moment, what with my mouth being full of Lexi's cock. We were all hanging out behind the restaurant on break, secluded enough from the properties around it to be fairly confident we wouldn't be seen. The twins took their break with mine, and we'd made out for a bit before I knelt down and asked to suck them off. Laurie got her phone out and started recording, which is why their discussion of enticing Gina and Julia into an incestuous tryst was kept vague. I released Lexi from between my lips and responded "I'd love to get my cock between those tits too, no doubt." They giggled at that, agreeing with me completely.

Besides being horny for girldick as usual, this was an opportunity to see how Lexi and Laurie had changed after swallowing my transformative cum. Surprisingly, they were pretty much the same as they had been the night before, and they confirmed that they didn't feel any different as far as they could tell, apart from the sudden boost of strength Laurie experienced right after they swallowed me for the first time.

When I took Laurie into my mouth, I thought she might have been a little thicker but otherwise unchanged, and Lexi matched her sister in every respect. The only real difference I noticed was in the way they tasted: Lexi was clearly the same orange from the night before, but Laurie was a more peach-oriented flavor.

"I could suck on these creamsicles all night," I moaned as I switched off between them.

"That's alright with us..." Lexi said,

"...if we last that long." Laurie said, finishing her sister's comment.

When next I glanced up, they were making out, Laurie's eyes still open to monitor her phone. I could feel them getting closer to an explosive finish, and I ramped up my pace appropriately.

"Oh fuck, sister," Lexi gasped, "I'm gonna cum!"

"Hmm, you always were faster," Laurie smirked. "Come on, Ace, swallow my sister whole."

With a moan, I did just that, taking Lexi's six-and-a-half inches as deeply as possible, and a scream got caught in her throat when she immediately released. That's when I finally noticed something different, as she nearly flooded me out with her cum. I had to pull back in a hurry so that there was room for the massive amount of issue spurting from her cock, and I could feel it slam into the back of my throat as I swallowed her down. Lexi braced herself against Laurie as I drained her, and Laurie encouraged her to drown me.

When she was finally done, I switched back to Laurie, stroking her slick cock as I looked up at her. "Hey, want to see something cool?" I asked. I could feel her tensing up, and she nodded furiously as I brought her to the edge.

"Fuck, I'm cumming!" she cried, and the first shot flew out over my shoulder. Laurie's eyes were closed in orgasmic bliss, but Lexi saw it and gasped. I let several more shots go before I returned Laurie to my mouth and started swallowing her issue as well. It took her a bit longer than her sister to empty out, and I kept stroking her length until she was finished.

"Holy shit!" Lexi said. "That was nuts!" Laurie shook off her reverie and saw the mess she'd made in the parking lot, being sure to get a shot of it for the video, before flipping the phone around to show her and her sister's faces.

"Fuck, that was so good," she said, turning Lexi's face to hers. They immediately started making out again, and I sat back on my knees to watch the incredible, surprisingly heartwarming moment. With a smile, I stood up and leaned in to kiss the twins myself. They welcomed me into their embrace as our tongues danced briefly before I pulled away.

"Ladies, that was awesome, but I should probably get back to work." Laurie turned the camera back to me, and I gave it a wink before walking out of frame. I heard her stop the recording, and then resume making out with Lexi. I slipped back inside and almost ran into Julia holding a bag of trash.

"Oh, hey, let me get that," I offered, hoping to buy the twins a bit of time. Julia smiled and handed me the bag, withdrawing back into the restaurant. I quickly disposed of the bag in the dumpster, and the twins followed me back in.

"Hey!" Julia said. "You got any of those mints left?"

I gave her a confused look. "What mints?"

"Whatever you've been chewin' on," she replied, "orange mints or somethin', your breath smells amazing." The twins started cackling behind our backs.

"Sorry," I apologized meekly, "I'm all out."

*****

The restaurant's business picked up almost immediately, and we were swamped clear through to my quitting time at 10. I said my goodbyes, went straight home and into bed, and was dead asleep in seconds. I slept for 12 hours straight. When I finally awoke at 10AM the next morning, I had a vague recollection of a very nice dream involving me and my parents getting extremely dirty together, but couldn't really remember any specific details. After I got cleaned up and wandered downstairs, Mama snickered at me.

"He lives!" she said. "You must have been plumb tuckered out if Ronnie an' I couldn't wake you up like we tried to."

I looked at Mom and Denise sitting at the table, the remains of their breakfast scattered around the table, and Denise nodded emphatically. "I thought they were going to nibble your ears off and rub you raw by the time they realized it wasn't working."

"You didn't let them go disappointed afterwards, naturally," I said with a smirk.

"Naturally," Denise said, returning the smirk.

"What'll ya have, Slick?" Mama asked, turning the stove burners on.

"Brunch with Mrs. Adams and her grandkids, actually," I said, reaching into the fridge for a stick of string cheese to tide me over. "She invited me over to celebrate beating cancer again."

"That's wonderful!" Denise said. "I didn't realize she was sick! She certainly didn't say anything to me when I saw her a few weeks ago."

"I didn't know you knew each other!" I said. "Anyway, she probably didn't know then, it was a recent diagnosis." I suddenly felt Mom's patented #2 glare boring into me.

"How recent?" she asked, the tone of her voice dropping the temperature in the kitchen by about twenty degrees.

I shut my eyes and grimaced. "Uh, last Monday?"

"Wait, what?" Mama asked. "How'd she go from 'you have cancer' to 'you're in remission' so quick?"

"That's rather miraculous, if true," Denise said.

"I shouldn't wonder," Mom said very deliberately. I could tell she was looking right at me, and I turned around to confirm it.

"Hey, Dr. Ellison said: until we know what specifically is causing it, it might as well be magic." I knew it was a poor defense, and I didn't let that stop me digging the hole deeper. "Besides, it worked, the cancer's gone, and she really enjoyed herself!"