All Comments on 'Uncle Steve'

"my brother Matt is 28" ..."My youngest brother Matt had a few kids. His oldest kid is a girl, her name is Ruth. She is 18; my brother Matt had her at the age of 18."

Sure, go figure....

lower the age if the girl to 12 or 14

After getting over the grammar problems and then the math problems I was left wondering if you got off when you wrote this drivel because I am sure no one else will

What did you do, write this for another site that doesn't have a character age limit and simply changed her age without checking to see if there were any other problems?

You claim you've been writing since the 5th grade. If so, there goes the old "practice makes perfect" adage.

Ok so I made a mistake...I did some math wrong. Not like I can go back an fix it, unless someone knows how, then I would. I don't think I could make her 14 secondly. Rules say I can't write anyone under the age of 18. So thats a bit out of the question.

Poor grammar - atrocious mathematics - unbelievable story!

If the younger brother had a daughter at 18 and she is now 18, he cannot be 32! You must have failed maths.

It is unbelievable that these two people would not say a single word throughout a journey so filled with unexpected sexual activity.

All things aside I really think ther is a good story concept here ..ages can be altered but I think that at the end of the day you should write a second chapter.

Maybe he takes her driving along a ocean road on a nice saunny day and she gives him another of those super blowjobs and a overtaking couple see the scene???

Who knows were you could take it from there

18+18=36, not 28 dimwit, and like the other guy said, not a word spoken, just straight to the cock stroking and sucking. Give me a break. I rated your story a big fat zero.

The first thing you must accomplish, is to get your story correct. The way to do that is to read it back to yourself, out loud, before you submit it. As one of your other critics stated, the girl would not begin doing the things she did, unless they had some history. You should have talked about their history, prior to her arrival. When she did arrive, it might have been better if she recalled some bit of "history" that got her all hot and bothered. You must build a story. First the beginning, then the middle and then the end. Readers don't want to jump from nothing to the middle. It's like boiling water. First it simmers. Don't be in such a hurry, words are cheep. Just hang in there and try again.

how is she 18 and he is 28??? that's a 10 year difference. he would have to be 36 to have had her at the age of 18 and her be 18.......

Must not be your strong suit is it. Father of girl is 28. Daughter is 18. He was a father at 10? The devil is in the details.

Father-28

Daughter-18

Just a quick question, how the hell is this possible?