All Comments on 'Under My Skin Pt. 01'

Lit has missed your stories and talent.

U have 2 Useless info dUmps on the first page that Ur feebackers shoUld have told U 2 work in2 the story a little at a time they were hard 2 get throUgh and Unnecessary

Very credible story wich in my opinion is the most important thing in an incest story. Good character and story development and well written. I loved that Skye was wearing stockings, the icing on the cake for me. One of the very best stories I read here in a long time! Cannot wait for part 2.

Looking forward to more chapters. Thanks for your time and efforts.

Characters are compelling and consistent, there are some parallels with the cast from All I Need but there are enough differences that they still stand out on their own. The pacing of this chapter was solid and I thought you managed to spread out/sprinkle in the exposition on characters and relationships in a way that wasn’t overwhelming. Only gripe so far is the fact that Ryan drove blackout drunk was somewhat glossed over. There’s also a few times where a word is missing in a sentence, but for the most part this seems well edited. Overall, digging the story, the characters, and looking forward to what comes next.

Glad your are back. There is not really a self contained plot in this part, hard to judge how good the whole story is, but I like the build up and your previous work is excellent, so I'd give it a 5,.

So so glad to see you and your stories back, it was way too long since LE got a serious writer with a serious approach to a serious story. Loved everything from the start but then again I might be a bit biased when it comes to your stories anyhow, constructive criticism might be a bit hard at the moment since there is not much going on to really tear apart here - and that's a great thing, the slow burn approach is the best and I'm glad you kept it that way. As Takeshi3 already pointed out is the drunk drive home that was a bit glossed over but I do think it might not be such a big deal (obviously don't drink and rive folks) but served as a more of a plot device to flash out the care his sister has for him to set the mood for the future of the series. I have my thought and doubt as to where and how this story is headed but for now I'm just stoked for the ride-along.

Not much of a surprise really that I gave it a 5* the moment I reached the final page and hopefully I will again once the next chapter is out. Thanks for posting this and for being back in style.

I was very pleased to see this published today. Looking forward to more!

This is good ... really good.

All I Need is one of my favorite stories (not just sexy ones either) of all time. I was super excited to see this pop up. I loved this set up chapter. Now I can’t wait to see what comes next.

You have a new crisper style for a new series, well done.

Fantastic style I loved the build up. Completely looking forward to part two!

Thanks for taking the time to read this story! It is gratifying to see that people seem to be enjoying it so far and I'm humbled to see familiar commenters excited to see something new from me. I apologize that it took so long to get a new story out. Life gets in the way sometimes and my feeble attempts at writing took a hit due to the real life garbage that I was dealing with. I'm enjoying the responses and promise that there is more coming very soon. The second part is fully written and I am doing one last sweep looking for errors before submitting it.

'All I Need' is, for me, one of the best sibling incest stories I have read on this site. Your new story is just as promising, I'm really glad that you are able to share your writing talents with us again.

Can't wait for the second chapter.

Great start! Lots of build-up and tension. Keep it going!

Enjoying your new tale. Impressed as always with the craftsmanship.

who's glad to read another of your hot story...well deserve five stars of course....can't wait for the next chapter so hope you won't keep us waiting that long eh...need to get to that new part/s soon

Loving the build up!

Really good build up

This has to be one of the best-written stories I've read here.

Good writing, dialogue, and characterisation, but I really do not appreciate being left hanging. I call that prick-teasing.

I'm sorry that you feel like you were left hanging. The next part of the story is coming very soon. I, like many other writers on the site, try to keep the each part from being too long. Otherwise you risk having the opposite problem, which is readers not wanting to bother with the story because it is too long. It is a little bit of a tightrope to walk. I will certainly understand if you elect not to continue reading the tale, although that isn't my goal. I hope you will find other stories on the site better suited to your preferences. Either way, thanks for taking the time to read the story and leave your thoughts!

All I Need is still one of the best stories in this site and insanely excited for another series from you.

This story has a lot of promise and I can hardly wait for what's coming. Thank you!

Well written, believable and a good pace. Look forward to next part.

Great beginning, Good Character development. Has awesome potential would LOVE to read a scene where that Cheating whore Whitney get eviscerated verbally by Skye, if done right could allow for some good drama. not that you need my help you always do a great job.

Thank you for taking the time to write another story. I have no doubt that it will be as great as All I Need, based on my first reading of part 1. It's great to see more from you!

You have aced the difficult challenge of navigating long timeframes in the setup chapter without losing us in minutia or overly-long exposition. I also love how you have revealed as much about our protagonist's personality and priorities through his narrative *omission* as through what he does choose to share. Keep up the great work!

I am a sucker for this type of story. I like the discovery and the potential for a really nice romance. I hope the next chapters are in the works and coming soon. Thanks for sharing.

Part Two has been submitted to the site and will appear as soon as the gods see fit to publish it. I hope that you all enjoy it. I apologize for the brief delay. At the last moment, I decided to make a few changes.

I enjoy Brother/Sister stories where the older brother takes after the sister he adores. He is so "dumb" that he does not realize how much the sister loves him. She wants only him and he refuses to understand that she could care about the incest.

I hope you have them together in the next chapter.

Good stuff man. Glad to read some more of your writings. Keep 'em coming!

"Then again, I could get in some quality time with the latest Fallout game back in my room."

Dropped, unfavourited, unsubscribed, browser history deleted, phone microwaved, reported to the admins, the FBi, the CIA, the NSA, and the EPA. Beth's Fallouts are trash.

Jokes aside though, good to see you back. I was sure you were gonna be a one-hit wonder.

I'm still not convinced I'm not a one hit wonder. But thanks for the kind words.

Now to briefly address your blasphemy... I'm more or less willing to admit to being Bethesda's bitch. But I have been a huge fan of the Fallout games going back to the original Interplay/Black Isle games. The more they stray from the spirit of the series, the less I am on board. I have zero interest in F76, for example. Fallout 3 was gold, sir. Maybe I should have made this comment in Ryan's words, for the sake of relevance. haha Thanks for reading!

Is it weird that I keep checking your profile to see how many days there were between your previous postings? I feel like a kid, a couple days before Christmas, checking the calendar several times a day to see if it's any closer.

I'm really enjoying the story so far. You have a natural talent whether you choose to believe it or not. You are definitely not a one hit wonder.

Mike

Fantastic story love the slow build up looking forward to the next part

I gave u 5 stars enjoyed the first chapter looking forward 2 more

Your writing style is much improved between this story and your first series, but I can see bits of your old ways creeping in, ruining the style you've adopted. None of the hall of fame authors write like this, so who have you been reading?

Thanks for the comment and your observations on my writing style. I don't know how I should feel about bits of my old writing style "creeping in and ruining" my new style. But it's something to think about. I hadn't noticed that I was writing in a different style, particularly, but these things evolve on their own, I guess. As for who I've been reading... I'm sad to say that it's all been non-fiction research materials. I haven't had much free time lately, to be honest, which is why it has taken so long to get the next parts of this story out there. I'm not publishing any more of the story until I have written it in full and it's taking a while, unfortunately.

As I tell my students: Writing (style) evolves through influence. You read someone or someones whom you admired as authors and story tellers, and you adapted your style. "Before innovation comes imitation." Something fired you up and you wrote back to back chapters, and then something got in the way.

I love reading a build-up for romance and this is masterpiece.

I know it's an erotica but I expect it to be realistic in some ways to some degree.

Like how a brother reacts to his sudden feelings for his sister.

Or dialouges of characters are not like that they came from textbooks.

You do it good.

Drama is not drastic and the way you describe his lust is not too pervy.

It's a good incest romance build-up.

Your writing style is good.

It's clean. You write what should be written in right amount.

Since this is not really porn I read both parts before commenting. I loved the whole rendition. the tension was superb and built right to the end. Install a sibling romance done at its best. thank you for your effort. It was enjoyment plus.

I don't comment on too many stories on Literotica, unless it's deserved. And this is definitely a good read. You have a talent. Im enjoying your story, and look forward to future installments. Thank you and continued success.

Hi Anomic, i wrote you three years ago, and then I (Boddasson) lost my password, contact to Literotica from Germany was impossible...not really a free country anymore.

Nevertheless: what a beautiful story, again! Please, try to keep writing. Especially in these hard times. Life in Germany really sucks (emergency laws, special police, undercover) Your stories help me to survive. To perceive, there is love, tenderness, beauty.

By the way, your writing style has improved since "All I Need".

Greetings from the old country!

The boy is in deep trouble. Sister better be careful and keep some condoms handy for when she finally gets him to fuck her silly.

Good job and thanks for sharing this with us.

Good job. Thanks for sharing this with us.

"Under My Skin Ch. 01:" - Adolescent Older Brother, Ryan and Still Teenager Sister, Skye.

This Chapter 1, for me, is not deep enough into the the sibling's approaching probable incestuous (apparent) romance for me to make any truthful and/or reliable characterizations. Incest romance, and love, stories are difficult to write honorably; therefore, I'll withhold in-depth comment(s) until after I've read Chapter 02. I will say the roles of the character's has been lively, honestly written and appear sufficiently realistic to make a good incest romance and love story.

Bull shit. Should be in a Harlequin novel.

Story is building up quite nicely, maybe a bit to slow for my tastes...

Really sad to see a truelly talented amazing writer only create two epic stories and then go silent for 6 years. I couldn't imagine the amount of stories we'd have by now if they continued.a true loss.