Under New Management

I folded my arms behind my back and tugged at a loose strand of hair there. My cheeks were hot as I looked at him. He was still, deathly still. His eyes were closed and his mouth was a thin line. I felt myself holding my breath as his brow wrinkled.

"Andy, what the fuck am I doing here?" He growled.

"I know, I know. I'm a fucking idiot."

"You got that right. You know this is a formal warning right? It's your second one. I have to fire you if you fuck up again." He clenched his fists and opened his eyes. "And I know you hate waiting tables at 28, but you're gonna hate yourself even more if I have to fire you because you can't just save the weed for five hours. Next to the fucking rubbish bins Andy? That's not even subtle. I expect more from you." I bit my tongue. He was right, of course. Didn't mean I wanted to hear it.

He stood up, not even looking at me.

"Well?"

"Yeah. That was dumb. I won't do it again." Well. I wouldn't get caught again, which is all Leo really asked of me.

"You're going to get your shit together Andy. Be my number one team member. Brightest smile. Flirtiest. Show up on time. Do a fucking good job. Supervised smoke breaks since you obviously need them." I gritted my teeth.

"Yeah. Got it." He sighed and I felt his hand on my neck as he stood behind me.

"And obviously I can't let you off with a warning."

I couldn't stop my smile but I kept my voice even.

"No, ariki." I said.

He grabbed my hair and the nape of my neck and I grunted as he roughly bent me over his desk. He kicked my legs apart and ran his hands down my torso. He was growling as he undid my apron stings. He moaned as he hooked his fingers in my belt...

We both sighed as his phone rang.

"Sorry." He muttered to me, and his voice changed as he answered the phone. "Leo here." I stayed leaning against his desk. Hopefully it was nothing he couldn't handle later. I heard the tone of his voice change though, becoming serious. Damn. I stood up and retied my apron strings. He stroked my arm.

"I tenei po." He mouthed and kissed my fingers as I went to leave. Tonight then. Fine.

—-

He is genuinely my boss. And I'm genuinely in trouble. And I wish he'd taken me over the desk right then but we could wait. No one knows. Leo doesn't spend too much time down in the restaurant so we don't have to play it cool too often and anyway I'm good at playing it cool. Him... maybe not so much.

We met at a bar about three years ago. I was drinking a boy away and we caught each other's eyes early on. Leo's gorgeous. Tall, Rugby players build, Maori. He has a big sleeve on his arm. He keeps his hair long and he pretends he doesn't dye it, that it naturally goes light at the ends like that... but I'm not stupid.

He was staring at me. Emboldened by my fourth gin and tonic I approached him.

"Dance with me."

"I don't dance." I grinned at him.

"You're right. Drinking alone sounds way better."

"You could join me?" I introduced myself and sat down.

"Joan Didion." I looked at the title he was reading on his phone. "She's one of my favourites." He smiled as he looked me over- my long sandy hair and linen shirt that was half undone.

"You're into hippy Californians, colour me shocked." I laughed.

"You read much Eve Babitz?"

"Yes." He said, putting his phone down. "She's my favourite."

He wouldn't take me home that night. In between going to sit outside with him and smoke and talk about books I was making my way through the bars stock and dancing to whatever awful queer house music they played at this hour.

"I've been cut off." I fell into Leo. "So that means I'm your problem now." He looked at me and stroked my hair.

"I'll call you an Uber."

"Call us one." He shook his head.

"No. You're completely drunk. It's amazing you can speak."

"So?"

"So I believe in consent." He took my phone off me easily and gave it back a second later. "Call me if you remember me."

—-

He was there the next week too. I thought about avoiding him- I had been truly obnoxious- I'm a lot when I drink like that. But Leo is magnetic and I found myself sliding next to him.

"It's my second." I held up my drink. "I can consent until the sixth." He didn't look at me.

"You didn't call." I thought about that.

"I thought you were being nice." I shrugged. "I'm sorry about last week."

"Read anything good this week?"

"Finally read The Luminaries."

"In a week?"

"Fast reader." He grinned at me and started relaxing into our conversation. I couldn't pull him to the dance floor but I did watch myself and I stopped at four drinks before I planted myself permanently at his side.

We talked about books mostly, but also politics and art, and how shit the weather was for Summer. He asked me what I did and I lied and told him I worked in public policy. It's one of the two cliches in Wellington but I can't face the fact that I'm a creative who can't get his shit together to run a business so works hospo.

He told me he was a chef and restaurant manager and new in town for a new job overhauling some wanky place. He told me he really loved photography. I didn't tell him really loved metalwork. I get a bit sick of questions about it. I was interested in him, obviously, you don't spend a whole night where you could be wasted and dancing with 15 beautiful boys just sitting next to someone unless you're interested... but he didn't look like he was leaving anytime soon. I'd chain smoked my way through my cigarettes and the bar was calling.

"I need to go home, or I'll start acting stupid again." Leo took my hand.

"I'll see you next week."

—-

My straight male coworker just told me their favourite book is Catcher in the Rye with no sense of irony, how's your day going?

I texted him on my break

Gen Z for you. I'm meeting my new team tomorrow. I'm nervous.

They'll like you.

Bitter hospo people don't like change.

So what are you gonna change?

Everything. The wine, the food. The uniform eventually. The staff talk too much.

It's a restaurant, cut them some slack, how else are they meant to get through the night?

I'm reserving judgment till I meet them properly.

You're so generous

Are you free tonight?

I was thrilled to be asked out. I would have dressed up except he already knew what I really wore. I put on a linen shirt and some jeans and Docs. I tied my hair up- it's not as long as his but I do like it past my shoulders.

"Date?" Laura asked.

"Yeah."

"Good. Maybe you can move in with him and off my couch." She joked. I blushed. I have my own space... by space I mean studio, that's where I make jewellery. It's not exactly liveable but that never stopped me. Laura forced me onto her couch when she realised I was sleeping on the floor next to my kiln.

--

He cooked for me. Said he couldn't do restaurants at the moment. So I sat at the table drinking wine and keeping him company as he prepared dinner.

"Where are your earrings from? They're gorgeous." He asked as he sat down for a second while the sauce simmered. I shrugged. They were one of my favourite pairs- sharp pounamu whittled into spears and set with a silver claw. I didn't want to get into it though.

"Thanks." I said. "Local guy."

"He's talented." I topped up my wine as he finished off the pasta.

"So, nervous, huh?" He nodded and ran his fingers through his hair. Oops, I was meant to be a distraction from all that.

"Everyone's gonna hate me. They'll all think they're fired."

"Are they?"

"The floor manager reckons we could cut a couple. He has this whole thing about attitude. He says they're bloody good at their job but they don't take the work seriously. I dunno, maybe they just don't suck his dick enough..." I felt a prickle in my neck, but I decided to ignore it, and I listened to him talk. That was exactly what my manager said about me. All the time. And he was right.

I tried to wash up after dinner but he wouldn't let me.

"You can help on the third date." He said, firmly planting me in front of his fire.

"This is our third date." He laughed.

"Do you always count chain smoking next to someone as a date? I can imagine that's exhausting."

"Only the really hot ones when I need an ego boost." He rolled his eyes but I could see he liked it. He pottered around for a minute before sitting down next to me with whiskey and scrabble. Were we in sync or what?

--

"I would have suggested something else if I knew you were going to embarrass me like this." He sighed halfway through.

"An old flatmate used to beat me all the time." I said. "Had to get a lot better because I hated him." I grinned as I scored an easy 46. "We can stop if your ego hurts?"

"It's bruised." He said. "But I'm a good loser."

"Loser has to have me over again for dinner."

"Done."

We finished the game and he put it neatly away- man he was gonna really dislike it when he realised what a lazy slob I am. He looked at me shyly and slowly pulled me into him.

We kissed for hours. Soft, gentle, wanting kisses. His arms were occupied with touching me, every inch he could get his hand on. Eventually he started unbuttoning my shirt and I let him push it off my shoulders. He stared at me.

"Sorry." He said. "This is weird and annoying but I just really want to get a shot of you in those earrings." I laughed.

"Uh, sure. Might want to go torso up though, a full body shot will be distracting." He had me very worked up. He pulled me to my feet.

He arranged me in front of a black background, looking forward, my chin resting on my hand. He took a couple of shots digitally and then one with a film camera. He showed me the digital ones- and damn they were good. He had an eye.

"I'll give you a copy when I develop it." He said.

"Don't give me a photo of myself. Give me one of you."

"Need some of that pounamu. Might do a whole series on modern Maori." He touched my face. Impressive he'd noticed I was also part Maori. I'm white and softly freckly. I have sandy blonde hair and green eyes. I take after Dad.

"Yeah if you can make it look this good you should definitely do the ads from here on out." Leo shrugged.

"Want to put us in touch?" I looked at him. Fuck it.

"You're already in touch." I reached out for his hair. He looked confused for a moment.

"Oh." He frowned. "You? Why didn't you say? You're incredible!" I blushed.

"I don't sell much. Not good at the marketing stuff."

"Well we'll just have to fix that won't we?" I rolled my eyes.

--

Leo likes rough, dominant sex when he gets to know a guy- but that first night was desperately intimate. He held me on his lap and we looked at each other shaking and dripping with sweat. He let me set the pace and moaned. He touched me all over with burning hands and tangled his fingers in my hair as he got close.

"Andy..." he whispered. I moaned into him and leant my head on his shoulder as I got myself to the edge. I waited for him to lose it, shaking and grunting as he finished in me with a sigh.

He stroked my back in bed, looking at me.

"I want to photograph you like this." He said. I laughed.

"This is only for you Leo. Just remember it." He shrugged.

"I have a bad memory."

"Then we'll just have to do it again." I wasn't always so bold with guys, but Leo wasn't your average hookup. He had told me he doesn't bring a lot of guys home. People make him nervous. He wouldn't be scared by me wanting more, he'd embrace it.

"Tea?" I agreed and followed him to the kitchen. He blushed as he turned around.

"Oh." His eyes ran over my body. I'm a stoner who makes jewellery- I'm not exactly a model. A little on the too thin side although I'm far from emaciated. Bit of muscle here and there. But Leo clearly found it captivating. I wrapped my arms around him as he pulled out the ceramic cups and teapot. He would have loose leaf stuff. I usually just drink Bell. My studio is littered with mugs with the teabag still in.

"I'd like it if you stayed the night." He said awkwardly. I nodded.

"I'd like that too."

—-

I started off on a piece for him when I got back to the studio. I had a fragment of pounamu in a weird shape I'd been wanting to set. I looked up Haast eagles and began to design a claw. I got carried away and realised I was never going to make it to work on time as I glanced up. Fuck. I was already on a warning.

—-

I slipped in unnoticed, just a few minutes late, and started chatting to my tables.

"New boss is coming in." My section buddy Seymour sighed. "Apparently he's kind of a hard case. Wants to meet us all." My stomach dropped. Too much of a coincidence. I knew we were under new management and I'd desperately hoped it wasn't Leo... Seymour saw my face. "Don't worry, he can't fire you, you're the only one who can sell a bottle of that Pol Roger." I shrugged.

"Hmmm. I have a bad attitude though."

"It's hospo."

--

He strode in with Carl, the guy who thinks I have an attitude problem and is looking for any excuse to get rid of me. I watched them chat to the bartenders and Kelly and Moana up the front. He was checking his phone as they made their way to Seymour and I so he didn't see me until he was almost on top of us. He caught my eyes and I sighed. I inclined my head a fraction and waited for Carl to introduce us. Leo turned bright red- I told you he can't play it cool.

"Seymour and Andy. Seymour's our sommelier. Andy's worked here forever." I glared at Carl. As if that was all I had to offer. Longevity.

Leo shook our hands.

"Nice to meet you." I said. "Carl's underwhelming introduction aside." Leo's mouth twitched. He raised his eyebrows as he cleared his throat.

"So how long is forever?" Because it was certainly longer than today. So it was pretty fucking obvious I'd lied to him. I sighed.

"I finished my mechanics course six years ago and couldn't get a real job and I've been here since."

"Still looking for mechanic work?"

"Oh yeah, I'm biding my time for the right job you know? Just around the corner, I'm sure." Leo bit his tongue and moved on to Seymour. They chatted easily- Leo's good with people- and I drifted away and did my job.

He texted me immediately.

Well. That was awful. I can't believe you didn't tell me.

If I'd known, I would have. I'm embarrassed, not an arsehole

Don't be embarrassed, you're good at your job. Besides what are you? 24? I was waiting tables until 30. And I wasn't making incredible jewellery on the side

25. I should have told you. I shouldn't have lied. Sorry.

I ignored the rest of his texts and went back to work.

—-

I tried to drink it off on Friday. My friends and I laughed at how embarrassing it was and we commiserated with a magnum of Rose. Good. We could get drunk and high and I could forget another boy. I had a glass of rose in one hand and was trying to order a gin and tonic when I felt a hand on my back. Leo looked down at me and I blushed furiously.

"No gin." He said firmly. "You can finish your wine and then we can go somewhere quiet together." I have to admit, I was turned on. But I was also mad at myself and wanted to cause some self destruction.

"Of course boss. Whatever you say." I joked, pretending to salute. Leo frowned at me.

"We're not doing this." He said. "You're not getting drunk because you're embarrassed and sleeping with some other drunk cunt and never talking to me again. You're finishing that wine, and then we are going to talk."

I don't know why it worked, but I was leaving with him, subdued. He took me back to his and started pulling out food.

"Can I help?" I asked. He nodded and started directing me.

Eventually we sat down with some amazing Malaysian noodle thing he'd created and he poured me a wine.

"I think it will be ok." He said slowly. "I'll just turn down this job..."

"If anyone leaves, it's me. I'm already on thin ice, I can get a job anywhere. You just moved down here for work."

"I can't lose my best salesman." He said grimly.

"So then we both stay. No one needs to know. I'll keep out of your way, keep my nose down."

"Doubt it." He snorted and grinned at me. I got warm, he hadn't grinned at me like that all night. I reached for his hand across the table.

"I'll be good for you." I teased, but I was also telling the truth. He bit his lip.

"Ok." He said.

We fucked and he pulled my hair and called me a good boy and it turned me on. We agreed to just keep it discreet for now and he made it clear I wasn't to go out drinking and dancing and getting myself laid without him. I promised. I only did that when I was sad anyway, and I wasn't sad if Leo was sticking around.

—-

He did change the restaurant- but he brought out its heart. He realised the chefs were Argentine and leant into that... putting red meat at the front and centre of the menu and building a Parilla. He worked with Seymour on the wine list and now no one has to try and sell Pol Roger- it's a rotating list of five or six wines, usually natural and antipodean. The uniform was always casual- t shirt and jeans but the aprons were floor length white monstrosities. He vetoed them and had me design new ones. He knew I pretended I hated that but he did compensate me well. Now we had short butchers style aprons in olive green with silver detailing on the hardware that I got a little carried away with... each apron had a wee bird gripping the straps in their claws. Mine was a Karearea... His was a Haast Eagle. I hoped people didn't look into my selections too closely.

"See. I knew you'd be the best man for the job." He kissed me as I handed the pile to him. I rolled my eyes but we both knew I was proud.

He helped me with my jewellery. He called in a few friends and had a photoshoot. He helped set me up with an instagram and took new photos of me for the website. He even rewrote it in Te Reo Maori.

"No one speaks Te Reo. I don't even speak Te Reo."

"So they can use google translate. And I'll teach you. You should know Maori, it's your language."

"God you and my mother are gonna get on like a fucking house on fire."

I guess with his help I have a bit of a name for myself, but I can't quit the restaurant yet. I need to force myself outside the studio anyway because I drink and smoke too much if I'm not working and I get very skinny and everyone worries about me.

Leo worries about me anyway. It's fair enough. He still intimidates me because he's older and taller and almost unbelievably more beautiful than me... and I'm cagey.

--

"Here." I handed him a ring as I walked into his place. He wears the Haast Eagle necklace everyday, and I've made him a few other pieces that go on rotation but he's always so excited.

"Oh my god, it's beautiful." He pushed it onto his finger with a sigh.

"Just onyx." He rolled his eyes. I had a surplus of onyx. I made a bunch of coastal stuff with kina and pipí. His ring was a rockpool with kuku sitting jaggedly out of it .

"Where do you get the ideas?"

"Steal from better jewellers."

I helped him with dinner- we never eat out because we know someone will see us and one of us will have to get a new job. By one of us I mean me because you can get a waiting job anywhere. What Leo does takes way more skill.

--

"It's not a bribe." I promised, looking at his ring as we helped ourselves to the pasta he'd made with kingfish and kina. "I know you still want to kill me." Leo grunted.

"Do you do that?"

"You know I smoke weed. You smoke all the time."

"Not at fucking work! Can you not just get through a fucking day sober?"

"I dunno." Leo sighed and stabbed his pasta. I bit my lip. "Here." I handed him a small black bag. I hadn't been sure if I was going to do it when I had the idea.

"What's this?" He opened it and peered in.