All Comments on 'Unforeseen'

very well written - really enjoyed the story

Not that great. Exceeded my eye-roll quota by page 3. Your writing in and of itself is good, but it feels like you're penning down a story without really taking into account what would feel natural for the characters themselves. That's not really a problem unique to you, but actually something you often encounter on this site. Keep writing though.

Very enjoyable story overall. However the ending is not quite satisfactory in my opinion. It seem to me your were trying to leave doors open for a sequel？

Sensational. I once read a How To which said that the key to the Incest category wasn't incest, but love. And I've rarely if ever read a story with more vivid love between the characters.

Realistic? Not in a literal sense. But well within the suspension of disbelief all told. And such great characters.

Great story, the part where he was watching his own funeral, and then Mary commit suicide only choir out tho be a dream, was a bit much.

Always enjoy reading your work.

Another brilliant story from you, keep it up!

This is in general very well written with lots of thoughts and emotions. And it makes me curious of what else you may have written. However, after 10 pages I still feel left in the dark on one central point of the story: Why/how did the big sister become so infatuated with her two year younger brother that she crosses society's border of taboo and commits incest????

Yes, there 'was this shared feeling of loneliness', (but they do appear to have more than one good friend), and she may have had some rough experience with males, but still ... he is 15 and she 17 when this story really starts ...

Moreover, I think that to follow up the - very unhealthy - act of sticking your tongue up someone's arse, by thereafter sticking the very same tongue into the other person's mouth (while kissing) is not the epitome of expressing your deep love for that person. Rather to the contrary (- at least if you have some knowledge of the real world and dont have read too many stories of cliche-filled porn stories ...). And I find it hard to believe that anybody will not immediately find that repulsive and react with a healthy expression of disgust. A real turn-off.

Anyhow, as a matter of fact, I think your deep dives into the emotions of the incestuous siblings in this excellent story is the best explanation I've seen around here of why the taboo of incest is an almost universal phenomenon in earth's societies.

Another superb work.

One of the great stories I have ever read!

Not sure the reason for the bdsm, but at least it was short and easily skipped. Otherwise most was readible.

What I really liked was the whole premise of getting intensely jealous and trying to shake it off. Another very good work.

Love, like anything, can have a dark side to it. The darkness doesn't make it any less beautiful. The beauty doesn't make it any less dark.

And this story is steeped in a bewitching love. A dark beauty that inspires and captivates.

Par for the course for you, at this point, but it must be said that your work is exemplary.

Thank you for writing this.

I loved every second of it and the easy you develop it so well that i felt i loved it with them. So much attention to detail was well worth it indeed. Can you write one about cousins?

At least for me, anyway. The first 8 pages or so seemed well paced and thoughtfully planned, then from the gunshot on felt rushed and sloppy. Well, maybe sloppy isn't the right word, but it just felt like you wrote up to that point with a lot of passion then took a break or something and when you got back to it, suddenly decided it'd gone on long enough and just threw together a sort of epilogue rather than a slow simmering down from the high point.

The scenes were hot, and the characters spectacularly detailed, just as I've become accustomed to from you. When I read the warning at the beginning I was actually fearing a much darker turn than we actually got, so I must say that I'm thankful for that. Your stuff already gets my feels going badly enough as it is.

All in all, I'd call this another simply fantastic story but for the seemingly abrupt ending. Thank you very much for sharing and keep being amazing.

Great work building the relationship, and your detail to their sex was amazing. The best read I have come upon yet!

Dark, passionate, heartfelt and believable. Another winner from you. The romance and love feels more real when it comes up against conflict and opposition, making the reunion sweeter.

The only thing missing... was err.... a round pumpkin. But of course, forgive this perverted reader. I suppose it's a much harder sell in a realistic setting compared to a fantasy one... (but hey this technically is still fantasy, right? *wink*)

... stayed for the plot and relatively wholesome romance lol

This quality of writing is what I long to find on Literotica. Thank you!

There is some nice sex in the story but I enjoyed it more for the love story it is. Just wish it went a little further than it did. Kind of left some things up in the air. Any way, it's a five star that has kept my up way past my bed time because I didn't want to put it down.

I didn't even masturbate infact i got sucked into your excelent story telling that from now own i think reading is better than watching

ugh...

I feel drained... in a good way.

your stories are so good that I as a reader can really immerse myself in it and "invest" myself into it. Feeling with the Characters in the Story, cheer them on and such.

It is however really emotionally draining sometimes.

You write very emotionally loaded subjects and Storylines and in such a way, very convincing.

You take turns in Storylines unusual, yet in the end, they make sense.

Still here you left some big openings in between..where I often asked myself "what where is this going?"

I'm still however satisfied with how the story went, it just would've been the cherry on top.

5 Stars anyways

I realy enjoy how you write relationships and love not just warm bam thank you mam like so many others do.

You wrote another wonderful story with amazing character and story development, I couldn't out it down.

Great story! You should write a sequel!

Thank you for another great story. I have nearly read all your stories in 48 hours, four more to go.

I have enjoyed them all. Keep up the good work. More please!!!!

The storyline overall was very good but I wasn’t too excited with the ending though. I was actually surprised the sister didn’t get pregnant , I thought she’d be too busy being at her bothers side in hospital to think about getting the morning after pill.....Be nice to see a sequel especially if he ends up with both sisters... I still gave you ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This story was amazing! I really enjoyed the character development. It was definitely an emotional rollercoaster (in the best of ways). I feel like Chelsea has known for quite awhile, but will never say anything

A very well written love story of trial and tribulations. Well done and thank you for sharing this with us!

It is not easy to make me cry. Congratulations, mate.

Perfectly imperfect. Great story, 5 stars

You've done it again LateStageInfernalism! What a story! Loved it from beginning to end but was feeling sad when I was a third through the final page knowing it was going to end soon. You are a terrific wonderful writer with a style all your own. Just one minor thing please, either double-check or have someone else check those little grammatical errors other than that Wow! WOw!! and WOW!!!

Holy shit i never imagined i'd drop a comment to a sex story, but this is the best story i ever read. I can imagine this on tv! Great work

Brilliant

2nd time I've read this. I forgot about the constant heartbreak throughout this and it had ME feeling heartbroken by the end, but it was so worth it. Wish I could give this more stars than 5

(1/3/2022) This was a bit dark and the BDSM/Femdom was not my cuppa tea. I pictured her eventually dressing him up in panties, stockings, and a dress then leading him around the house on a leash. I'm sure what I just wrote perked a few ears out there, but again, not my cuppa tea. This was very entertaining though; loved the drama. Five stars.

It's a beautiful story.

Completely sufficient.

But it deserves a sequel.

How will TK and Mary's relationship develop further?

How will Charlie come back into their lives and will she and Mary reconcile?

When will Charlie join them?

She's a smart girl and has probably already begun to suspect TK and Mary's love affair. And it looks like she's in love with TK.

Looking forward to more stories.

Excellent story with enough of the right elements.

11/10!!!!!

A good story. For me, I am not a fan of Fem/Dom and that aspect of the story was a bit of a downer for me....but that is just me. It was still a pretty good story though.

It’s been over three years, it’s past time for a sequel to this story.

Thanks.

so many subjecys brought up and then dropped, no continues flow to story. What??? 2X's Mary brings up pegging, Really? 1st your living at Chelsa and Rebecca's house and then magically not. No real mention of how there is $ to do anything. Introduce Charly's BF as a drug dealer and then nothing. Who gets hooked on Morphine and who really deals it as a drug? I really was hoping for a good older sister story and yet this is twisted around as the younger brother is the leader in the relationship. Guess the morning after pill wasn't needed

The comment below me was actually really dumb in my opinion. Using context clues, you can figure out that he didn’t need to live with Rebecca and chelsea anymore and that he was also using Rebecca’s and his dad’s money to pay for the necessities. It clearly stats that Charley’s bf is a drug dealer and then she gets hooked on his shit and goes to rehab. Mary brought up pegging as a way to get him worked up, as stated in the story. I will say the lack of the morning after pill left me a little confused? Did she get the pill? Did she just get lucky and not get pregnant? What happened there?

Like all the stories of yours I have read, this is great writing and the characterisation is very believable, within the make-believe limits of a sibling incest story. I don't care if there are tiny inconsistencies and lack of continuity in the plot as some commenters imply. For example, clearly Mary didn't get pregnant, that didn't need to be stated overtly – most sex doesn't result in conception, if it did we'd have a global population crisis, instead of the current 'controlled' increase where it's only increased 4-fold since my parents were born! The transformations in the character of both Rachel and their mother were just credible but I would have liked either more about them, to some specific purpose, or less, if they were just there as supporting cast. In that sense too, the inclusion of Chelsea was a bit unnecessary: the story would have lost little without her. Give that were are in the realms of fantasy anyway, what I would have enjoyed more would have been for even more on Chelsea or for her to have discovered the relationship, either with Mary confessing it all too them while he was unconscious, or because he was unconscious for month or more and she either was, or believed she was pregnant; or with Chelsea working it out by questioning Mary and analysing everything she knew. It seemed to be leading up to that at one point, but, disappointingly,s it didn't happen. The last page could then have been about the whole family coming to terms with it, eventually accepting it was going to continue, seeing it as healthy, and even helping to ensure the relationship could continue without anyone outside finding out. Even though the second half was therefore a bit of a disappointment to me, it still more than merits a full five.

Further to my previous comment, I have to ask, on reflection, what purpose was served by TK being shot? It was a well-crafted situation which could have resulted in one of several turning points. It could have enabled the complete reconciliation of Mary and TK (if he'd still been holding something back in that respect; it could have allowed Mary to get pregnant with the consequences of that then brought in, or it could have led to full disclosure within the wider family, with Chelsea understanding first and playing the leading role in helping both mothers to accept and even embrace it. A lot of words were invested in creating this opportunity, including the build up about the gunman, but the opportunity was completely wasted; nothing of significance happened or changed. That might happen in boring real life, but in a story you can't expect reader to trawl through a lot of unecessary words and get nothing for their time.

very good

EXCELLENT!!!

Congratulations on a beautifully crafted story, well paced and with meaning throughout, there are a few either Americanism's or spelling errors, I do not know which, that tend to jar as you read.

lost me at the handcuffs and blindfold

loved it but felt like it ended way too soon. he gets shot then on the next page the story is finished? felt like that was a really important piece that didn’t get developed at all

Another great one from LSI. My one complaint is there always seems to be heartbreak and/or silly insecurities that cause lost time between the couple and/or some tragedy. Always seems to have a good ending though so I can overlook it, but damn, the emotional rollercoaster... It would be nice to read a story where they slowly get together, stay together, and it just builds and builds, and we simply get to read about their evolving life (with some hot sex sprinkled in, too, naturally). No tragedies or breakups because one of them thinks they're not worthy or protecting the other, or anything like that; leave that stuff in reality. But maybe that's just me.

Well done. I rarely give '5s' but the sheer ambition of scope and depth of characters made that a no-brainer. Criticisms of stories well-crafted like this tend to turn into nit-picks, which of course is what happens when someone thinks about "how I would have written it." Generally speaking, I would have liked to have seen a bit more tension built around the possibility of Chelsea finding out (including some close calls, perhaps even a question about just how much she actually knew), but as I said that's really just a nitpick. Nice work.

This was amazing. Thank you for writing and sharing.

4 Stars for sure... The story could have been done without the " breakup" drama. That part felt a bit overdone. But, then again, that may be just me. Overall, a good story. Thanks for your effort and submission.

Almost everyone commenting so far seem to be very accepting of their relationship, which I guess might make sense where folks are looking for incest stories. I read them on this site for the strong love that can be found in them. But the love in this one is so twisted that it's hard for me to accept. Mary was indeed sick, as she realized, mentally ill and very twisted. She really did groom him to some degree, and seduced him for her own twisted needs. She got him to love her and made him submissive to her, and then tossed him away. That was very cruel and twisted, the way she did that. This was one fucked up person. He reacted appropriately, I thought, by cutting her off completely. He should have gotten therapy, the poor sod. Of course he'll take her back, because he's her poor sub and can't resist. And we're meant to believe that she got a little therapy and was then a much better person for it. Unbelievable bullshit. This twisted bitch wasn't gonna be reformed that easily. I wish he had continued to stand up for himself to her. In fact, maybe he should have told her that the only way for him to have peace and be able to move on would be for her to kill herself and be gone from this world, and if she really loved him she would do that for him. That would have been a fitting end to this fucked up twisted affair. She sure deserved it for what all she did. Too fucking fucked up.

I get where the below annon is coming from but I think a huge part of the problem is the time between Mary leaving and them making up, as best I can figure the time gap is within 1-2 years and it probably should have been 5-10 at least. And if you still wanted to have that early reunion that then dissolves into a longer period apart that’s fine I just don’t see him believing she’s changed after such a short time after her third freak out over this relationship