Unholy Desires

Fair warning - This is a "slow burn" short story. If you're scouring the site for stories containing quick, graphic and mindless sex, this probably won't be for you; however, if you are willing to invest the time to envision in-depth scenarios and character development, please feel free to ride along with me on Claire's journey. Comments are welcome.

UNHOLY DESIRES - PART ONE

"Oh Jesus Chr...," Claire said before abruptly catching herself, realizing that she was running late yet again. She had totally forgotten about the upcoming church mission meeting until she glanced at the wall calendar in the laundry room. As with many small churches, "volunteering" at the local Lutheran branch often meant being placed on various committees without being asked. She was convinced that it was a tactic that was taught in Clergy 101 or whatever entry level theology course that was offered, but who was she to complain? She knew that as a fairly recent divorcee she needed all the brownie points that she could muster, assuming that there actually is an afterlife and someone - or some THING - was somehow keeping score.

"If there isn't one, I'm going to be really pissed," she mumbled to herself as she pulled her t-shirt off and scrambled out of her leggings to change into something more "church-appropriate." Standing in front of the full-length mirror in her studio apartment, she braced herself before peeking at the image in front of her, unconsciously sucking in her tummy and feigning a smile. She ran her hand through her dark hair, still moist with perspiration from her Zumba class. Finding a scrunchie, she pulled her wavey locks back into a ponytail and reassessed herself. With no time to jump into the shower, she generously applied her deodorant and gargled with mouthwash.

"Good enough for that motley crew," she said out loud and smiled to herself.

Despite her indifference at impressing the mission team, she reluctantly dared to take a quick sniff of her underarms and gave herself a tentative thumbs-up, knowing that for the sake of hygiene she should try to distance herself - if possible - from the other attendees in the meeting. With no time to change fully, she kept her sports bra and sweaty panties on as she rummaged through the closet, grabbing a pair of grey slacks and a black blouse. As she stepped quickly into the slacks she stumbled, nearly falling on her face before regaining her balance. She slid the blouse on and decided to leave it untucked.

She twirled and looked in the mirror, reluctantly admiring her firm butt as she thought to herself, "Not bad for a thirty-something divorcee."

Indeed, over the two-year period since her separation she had transformed herself from a bored, frumpy plus-sized housewife to an almost marketable, reasonably attractive woman - at least on the outside. It's amazing what a bout of undiagnosed depression can do. After trying and failing throughout her nine-year marriage with most of the popular weight-loss programs, all it took was a contentious separation combined with the accompanying semi-depression, and the weight just melted away. Down nearly four dress sizes, Claire glanced into her closet which was neatly separated by size ranging from her current 9-10 on the far left to her plus sizes topping out at size 14 on the far right side.

She knew from reading the myriads of weight-loss books that she should have donated the clothing on the right, but deep down she knew. She would always mentally be a 12-14 despite the façade of the toned body she currently - and most likely temporarily - occupied. She closed the closet door after slipping on a pair of comfy flats from her small collection that was scattered haphazardly across the floor. She exited her apartment and slid behind the wheel of her Prius for the short drive to the church. She knew that she was one of the main topics for gossip since her separation, and she heard several of the falsehoods that were circulating through the social media "grapevine."

Of course, the rumors ranged from her husband's infidelity to questions about his sexual preference, none of which could be further from the truth. She wished that she had the nerve to confront the gossip-mongers - not necessarily to confess, but at the very least to defend her ex-husband's integrity and reputation, although she knew that she would never be that strong. If it wasn't her husband's fault, naturally it could only mean that it was hers. Although she knew she was totally to blame for the breakup, it was much less painful to ignore the noise despite the harm that it may cause.

The fact was that even if the truth were to somehow get out, few if anyone would believe it. Even she could hardly believe that it was her - demure, church-going Claire - who was caught in the act, on her back with her best friend Tammy on her knees between her parted thighs, hungrily lapping, and as usual - worshipping Claire from her tight ass to her drenched pussy for the umpteenth time. What a sight that must have been for her ex, she often thought, embarrassed that despite the damage it caused, the thought made her wet, even to this day.

"Sometimes the truth really IS stranger than fiction," she thought to herself, wondering if the guilt would ever subside. Despite the trail of destruction that she left behind, she knew that if she could do it all over again, she would. And that admission - along with the accompanying sexual excitement of reliving it - terrified her the most.

As Claire pulled into church lot, she quickly scanned it, hoping not to see specific vehicles.

"Oh, great - Nate's here," she mumbled sarcastically under her breath when she spotted his blue BMW that intentionally took up the better part of two spaces.

"Flirty Nate" was one of the few eligible bachelors within the church, and he took every opportunity to offer himself up to the various divorcees and widows. As far as she could tell, his victims' target age range was anywhere from eighteen to eighty. She guessed that he was around fifty or so, and by his dyed body perm and cheesy mustache, it was clear that from a fashion standpoint he never escaped from the 1970's. Despite that, he was relatively harmless, and although he clearly was not her type, she supposed that some of the more desperate congregants may have discreetly connected with him. The thought made her shudder.

She took one further glance across the lot, searching for a white Mazda Miata. To her disappointment, Amy's car was nowhere to be found.

"Oh well, what were the chances that we would have the nerve to even explore any type of relationship, especially in a church setting," she wondered, trying to dismiss her excitement at the thought.

"Besides," she thought, "Amy's as straight as they come." But then again, that's what others thought of Claire as well, and look at how wrong they were!

Of course, it was clear that Amy had been Nate's primary target ever since her husband passed away more than three years ago. Absolutely no one would have guessed that she was also in Claire's crosshairs. How could they possibly know? Claire herself still sometimes struggled to understand what led her down the previously untraveled path that ended with her best friend between her legs. To the rest of the world, Claire was the jilted eligible divorcee - a far cry from what only she, her husband and her former best friend knew to be the case.

A familiar twinge of sadness came over Claire at the thought of her "ex" best friend. Despite being "bffs" for the better part of two decades, their recent intimacy and the embarrassment combined with the guilt that it caused. Despite their initial attempts to remain friends, it simply was too much for their relationship to overcome, and they were forced to tearfully say goodbye, not only as lovers, but - more painfully - as friends. Despite her sadness, Claire smiled as she flashed back to their glory days in high school when they became fast friends despite being polar opposites in almost every way. Claire was awkward and introverted, while Tammy was athletic and outgoing. Claire was a brunette with natural waves that extended well below her shoulders, while Tammy's mousy brown hair was frequently styled in a low-maintenance pixie cut. Claire painstakingly applied her makeup to a near professional level on a daily basis if not more often, while Tammy rarely applied anything beyond lip gloss.

Claire was taller and soft; Tammy was shorter and toned. When Claire was hot, Tammy was cold. Claire would never be heard utterly profanity while Tammy was as potty-mouthed as they come. Claire's eyebrows were always meticulously plucked and her panty line was always waxed or shaved, while Tammy never bothered with that type of needless manicuring. It nearly drove Claire crazy whenever she saw one of Tammy's eyebrow hairs that needed plucking, yet she always resisted the urge to just grab it and yank it out. Tammy grew up vacationing in the mountains while Claire's family practically lived at the beach during the summer. Despite their differences, they were inseparable for the better part of two decades. They were the closest of friends with no secrets between them. They survived distance when each of them went to separate colleges, and they talked or texted almost daily. Naturally, Tammy was Claire's maid of honor, and until Kenneth - Tammy's fiancé and first real boyfriend - developed a case of cold feet and disappeared just three days before their wedding date, Claire was set to be Tammy's maid of honor as well.

It was Kenneth's sudden disappearance that became the turning point in the girls' relationship nearly three years ago. When it became clear that he was gone with no plans to return, the girls along with the other two bridesmaids -Tammy's younger sister Brittany and her former roommate Jessica - quickly went into damage control in the bridal suite at the quaint rented cottage located next to the barn where the wedding was to be held. With a new mission of consoling the bride as well as heading off the attendees, they split up the workload among themselves and started making phone calls while taking turns pouring wine for one another. They did an amazing job in keeping Tammy occupied, and they were surprised that no tears were shed, chalking it up to a combination of shock and denial. Although there were hefty charges to do so, the DJ was cancelled as well as the catering. They all laughed when Claire called to "kill off" the dove release, and when Tammy realized what she said she broke down in hysterics.

"Fucking doves," she snorted as she sipped directly from a bottle of chardonnay.

"That was such a 'Kenneth' thing anyway. Who in the fuck releases doves? Fucking doves. We should keep them, change their names to Kenneth and use them for target practice."

The bridesmaids looked at each other, unsure how to respond before they collectively burst out in laughter. Within two hours, the four girls completed their tasks, canceling most of the wedding services. With their jobs finally done, the four girls dropped down to sit in a circle and began passing the bottle. Tammy was in her typical long-sleeved t-shirt and old school baggy sweats while Jessica and Brittany both wore yoga pants and t-shirts. Claire - in true 'Clair' fashion - was outfitted as if she was planning to attend a funeral - in a navy skirt and a white blouse topped off with a black and navy-checkered blazer. She was likely the only one of the four who still had a collection of pantyhose, but she couldn't imagine life without them, shuddering at the thought of wearing a skirt or dress with only her bare legs under them.

As the wine flowed, the girls loosened up and Brittany blurted out, "Christ, Claire. At least take your jacket off and stay a while," which drew laughs from the others.

Initially insulted, Claire shrugged and gave in, standing as the others started humming stripper music.

"Dah dah DAH...dah dah dah dah - dah dah dah - dah DAH DAH DAH," they sang in unison, laughing as Claire pulled the blazer off one sleeve at a time before kicking off her heels, with one of them flying across the room and dropping at the hearth of the unlit stone fireplace.

"Oops,' Claire said, and the others laughed hysterically.

"Blouse next," shouted Tammy after Claire dropped the blazer over a chair.

The girls looked at Tammy and giggled, while to their amazement, Claire kiddingly began unbuttoning her top clasps before stopping.

"Boo! Boo!" Tammy shrieked when she realized that the strip show was over before it even started, and the others kept laughing.

For a second, Claire was surprised to feel a stirring between her legs as she looked down and made eye contact with her best friend. She quickly dismissed it and sat back down in the circle, folding her legs to her side and sitting uncomfortably on the floor, with much of her weight supported by her left arm. Something compelled her to take another glance at her friend from across the circle and she was surprised to see that Tammy's gaze was focused - not on her eyes, but on her blouse. Looking down, Claire realized that she was accidently providing a rare view of her cleavage which was accentuated by her lacey pushup bra and semi-sheer blouse, essentially giving her modest B cup the appearance of a full C. Again, Claire felt an unfamiliar warmth between her legs and quickly tried to dismiss it as she fumbled to discreetly button her blouse without another look in Tammy's direction. Suddenly overcome with warmth, she fanned herself with one of the wedding invitations as the girls chatted and giggled over the next hour or more, despite the elephant in the room and painful circumstance that led them to that point.

"So," Brittany finally said to no one in particular. "What was Kenneth's deal anyway?"

The others got quiet and looked at Tammy, nervous about her response.

"What...what do you mean, 'What was his deal'?"

Brittany took a huge sip from the bottle. "You know what I mean. Jesus, Tammy."

If looks could kill, Brittany would have been incinerated by the lasers coming from her sister's eyes. The silence was deafening, until Tammy responded.

"I guess the party's over, Britt," she said quietly and stood up unsteadily. "Time to call it a night."

"Awe, forget I said anything. I'm sorry. It's just...you know."

Tammy ignored her apology and walked to the door, struggling to unlock it before opening it wide.

"Seriously, Britt. I need...time, and some space, okay? I'm fucking exhausted."

"Don't be like that," Brittany started to say before Jessica stood, pulling Brittany up with her.

"Come on Britt. Let's give Tammy some space. She's been through enough for one day, okay?"

Claire remained on the floor, watching the drama unfold as she wondered if she should intervene.

Brittany finally conceded, dropping her red plastic up into the trash and pouting as Jessica pulled her toward the door. They took turns giving Tammy a hug before heading out to their shared flat on the other side of the property. Tammy returned to the now depleted circle and Claire started to get up.

"Where do you think YOU'RE going," Tammy asked, looking down at her best friend.

"I...I just thought you needed space," she responded.

"Yeah, from Britt. Not from my best friend."

Claire smiled upon hearing that and when Tammy joined her on the floor, she reached over to give her a hug. Although her tight skirt and seated position made it awkward, they embraced.

As they hugged, Claire whispered, "I'm always here for you, Tammy. No matter what."

"I know you are, Claire. I know you are."

After what seemed like several minutes, they released their hold and looked into each other's eyes.

Claire said, "I don't know what I'd do without your friendship. You know ALL my secrets. God, the stuff I shared with you."

She blushed, thinking back to the various texts and calls that they made over the years, often with Claire being tipsy and sharing intimate details of her sexual issues during marriage. They constantly giggled together like middle school teens about some of the scenarios that occurred.

She remembered one in particular and shared it again as they relaxed on the floor.

"God, remember that time I called you in a panic, the first time John talked dirty to me in bed? I was freaking out like crazy until you calmed me down."

Tammy pretended not to recall it, scrunching her nose and looking at her, feigning confusion, although that prior conversation would be ingrained in her mind forever.

"You don't remember? Now I really feel stupid," Claire said sheepishly.

"Claire, you shared lots of things with me. You can't expect me to remember them all, can you?"

Claire gave her a confused look before taking another sip from her cup, now clearly tipsy.

"Maybe it's better that you don't remember. I mean, it took a lot for me to confide THAT in you. It was so embarrassing at the time."

"Oh, you mean the talking? I think I remember now. Did you...did you ever get comfortable with him doing that," Tammy asked, assuming she already knew the answer.

Claire blushed again and hesitated before answering. "I um... I think I'll invoke my fifth amendment rights, or whichever one it is. You know, the one where I can refuse to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate me?"

Tammy shifted on the plush carpet, stretching her legs and noticing the contrast between her totally casual appearance and Claire's. Once again, polar opposites, she thought.

"So, you...didn't hate it then, I guess. But did you actually like it," she asked as she took another sip.

More silence, which told Tammy everything she needed to know. She continued to prod.

"So you DID like it. I can't believe it - my best friend gets turned on when her guy talks dirty in her ear!"

"Okay, okay. I admit it. I mean, I'm not proud of it but I can't help how my body reacts to stuff - or why," Claire confided with some relief that she was able to share that secret.

"Yeah, you got that right. We should compare notes, at least. I mean, now that you admitted it," Tammy said while giving Claire a mischievous look.

"What do you mean? Does - did Kenneth do that stuff too?" As she asked, she realized that it was the first time she brought up his name since they found out that he abandoned Tammy, and she instantly regretted it.

"I'm so sorry, I mean...I shouldn't have..."

"It's okay, Claire. I mean it actually makes things clearer for me in some ways, now that I think about it. And I guess for him too. Anyway, spill it. What were the pillow talk topics? Or do you want me to guess?"

"Um, I don't know if I can say. I mean, I think some things should stay between husband and wife."

"Party pooper! First you don't finish your strip-tease thing and now you won't share with your best friend? I'm the bride - or at least I was - so remember? I get to make the rules this week and you - as my maid of honor - have to follow them! Spill it!"

Claire's fuzzy mind lingered on the "strip-tease" comment and the brief feeling that she had just an hour or so before when Tammy first mentioned it.

"Trust me, no one wants to see THIS body naked," she laughed nervously as she looked down at herself.

Tammy bit her lip. "Well, it's either strip or tell me what he whispers to you in bed. Those are your only two choices.

"Seriously? THOSE are my choices?"

Tammy nodded, waiting for her to decide.

"This is crazy, even for you, Tammy," Claire said.

I'm waiting. Tick-tock!"

"What if Jess and Britt come back," she asked, looking over at the door.

"They won't, and even if they do, it's just harmless sleepover stuff. No big deal. But if it would help..."

As she spoke, she rose and staggered over to the door, locking it with a deadbolt.