Unintended Consequences

I promise you that this was the first time anything like this has ever happened. I know you probably don't believe that, but it's true. I know now that Beth and Donna set the whole thing up by inviting those guys down so that they could continue their affairs, but what I did is not their fault. It's mine."

He sat silently while I apologized before he finally took a deep breath and asked, "so what you're telling me is that after all these years, you just suddenly decided that it would be fun to fuck some stranger? Well that's just fucking great! So, Julia, who the hell was this asshole? Come on, give me the son of a bitch's name!" he demanded as his voice rose to a yell.

"I don't really know how to explain it. But it certainly wasn't a conscious decision. Hell Michael, I was drunk and I had eaten that damn marijuana brownie that Beth gave us. It's going to sound crazy, but I was so out of it that I thought I was having sex with you until I woke up the next morning and found this strange guy in bed with me."

"You're right, that sounds pretty crazy and you'll have to excuse me for not just taking you at your word. Hell, right now, you could tell me that your name is Julia and I would have a hard time believing you. Now, back to my second question. Who the fuck was this son of a bitch? I want a fucking name Julia!"

"All I know is that his first name is Jonathon. I can't remember ever hearing his last name. I swear that's all I know Michael."

"Well let me help you a little. His name is Jonathon Alexander Moore. He's thirty-five, married with three children, and he's been teaching high school history and coaching football for the past twelve years. His wife was an accountant before she quit to stay at home to care of their youngest son who is autistic."

"Oh shit! How do you know all of that? I promise you I didn't know anything about him other than his first name."

"Have you thought at all about why Steve Harris would install surveillance cameras in every damn room of his beach house. Hell Julia, he's been suspicious of Beth for months so he hired a private investigator to keep tabs on her and my God, this guy was good. Shit, you girls had your little orgy on Sunday night and by Tuesday morning, Steve had copies of those photos and videos delivered to all three of us cuckold husbands and all four of those asshole's wives.

So dear, I hope it was all worth it for you girls because the four of you managed to fuck up eight marriages and the lives of eighteen kids for some sleazy, drunk fucking! So, tell me Julia, what the hell were you girls thinking?"

"We weren't thinking Michael. That was the problem. I can't speak for everyone, but I was just really drunk and high and I put myself in a horrible situation. Then, I made it all worse by doing some really stupid shit. You have to believe me; I was literally sick the next morning. Seriously, I locked myself in the bathroom and threw up. Then I scrubbed my skin raw trying to wash the filthy feeling off. Hell, Jen and I cried for most of the rest of the week."

"Forgive me Julia but as I said earlier, it's pretty hard for me to believe anything that comes out of your mouth at this point."

We sat there in silence for a while, neither of us knowing what else to say. Then I remembered my conversation with my mother a few days earlier and decided that I had nothing to lose by bringing up her idea to him.

"Listen Michael, I know that I've really fucked everything up and I don't know what else to say other than I am I deeply sorry. I also know that I have no right to ask you for any favors but I'm going to ask you anyway. This divorce is going to take a year to be final. Will you at least keep an open mind until then? I'm not asking you to just forgive and forget. But, will you at least stay friends with me for the boy's sake until then?"

"Julia, you know that I would do anything for those boys. Hell, their the only reason that I didn't file for adultery and let the whole world know what you did. So, for the boy's sake, what exactly is it that you want from me?"

"Well, first, I would like for us to have a family dinner at least one night every week. I was thinking that I could cook dinner on Sunday evenings and you could come over and eat with us. Next, since their summer swim league starts next week, I was hoping that we could go to those as a family. And lastly, when school starts back, I thought that we could split weeks with them. We could swap on Sunday evenings at our weekly family dinners."

He sat silently for a while mulling over my suggestions before he finally answered. "I guess I could do that. But I have one thing to add. Since this is the beginning of the summer, how about the boys spend the summer here at the house with you so that we don't upset their routine right now. My only stipulation would be that you allow me equal time with them."

We worked out a few of the details before Michael said good bye and left. The rest of the summer went as well as I could have hoped. The boys stayed with me and we split time with them without any arguments. Michael lived up to his promise and came to all of their swim meets and to our house for dinner every Sunday night. He even took us all out for pizza or burgers after most of the swim meets.

He was always pleasant, joking and playing with the boys and he was friendly to me. But whenever he looked at me there was this cold, distant look in his eyes. I never said anything, but that really hurt me. I could always tell that he loved me by the way he looked at me and now that was gone.

Despite all the time we spent together over the summer, he never gave any indication that he was open to reconciling. But, since I was the one who messed everything up, I accepted that the burden of trying to repair our marriage was mine alone to bare and that I would so just that until the very day that our divorce was final.

For Labor Day weekend, I took the boys to my parents for one last visit before school started back the following week, That Sunday morning, I was flipping through Facebook when I came across some pictures from the yearly charity gala that Michael's law firm organized every year. I saw pictures of a lot of our friends there. I really missed being with them. This was the first one that I had missed since the first gala over ten years ago.

Then I flipped to the next picture and there was Michael, dancing with some blond in a tight black dress. I was instantly jealous. She looked so young and pretty with this incredible figure. I had gained a few pounds with each of my pregnancies and it had left me a little insecure about myself over the past few years. I wasn't really overweight, but I had some extra pounds on my hips and breasts that were just really hard to lose. This girl had the body of someone who had obviously never had children.

It didn't take me long to figure out that her name was Milly Gordon and find her Facebook page. I was hoping that this was just a friendly date at a charity event, but that hope was shattered when I found her page. She had a lot of pictures of the two of them from the past month. There were pictures from New York City in front of a theatre on Broadway. There were pictures from the beach and from Las Vegas. I could tell from the dates that they were all taken on weekends that I had the boys.

When my mother came down for breakfast, she noticed the tears streaming down my face and asked what was wrong. I simply showed her the pictures. "I guess that's its Mom. I thought I had a chance, but it looks like he's made his mind up."

"Now honey, I know it looks bad, but I wouldn't give up yet if I were you. What you did to him hurt him pretty deeply. My guess is that he's still trying to figure it all out. Just be patient and give him some more time before you write him off."

"I just don't know if I can keep trying to be my best when I'm around him when I know that he's probably sleeping with this gorgeous girl that I could never compete with," I replied.

"Honey, I know it's hard. But I want you to think about how much it hurts to see him with this woman. You're assuming that he's slept with her, but put yourself in his shoes. He doesn't just think, he knows for a fact that you slept with that guy at the beach, because he saw those horrible pictures of you in the very act of cheating on him. Imagine the pain that he's been through. If you want to save your marriage, you need to just be patient with him and continue to show him your best."

"I know Mom, but it's just really hard."

"No one ever said it would be easy," she said. "But trust me, you aren't competing with this girl. You have something that she doesn't, eighteen years of happy memories and two wonderful children."

When we got home, I took my mother's advice and continued to do my best to make life with me and the boys attractive to him. I never mentioned Molly Gordon to Michael and I tried to put her out of my thoughts, but it was hard.

Things between me and Michael changed a little a few weeks later. But in a way, it was even more confusing. One week, when he came to dinner and he seemed more like he was before I cheated. He just seemed more at ease and when he looked at me, that cold, hard look in his eyes looked a little softer. But the next week he was back to being cold and distant.

This back and forth continued for a while, but I noticed that we were starting to have more good weeks than bad. It still killed me every time I saw him, imagining him with that blonde in the photos, but I fought the urge to confront him and just kept my mouth shut. I wasn't about to do anything that would jeopardize this upbeat turn of late.

Things continued to go well, so the Sunday before Thanksgiving, I decided to go out on a limb and invite him to Thanksgiving dinner. As he was grabbing his coat to leave, I stopped him at the door and asked him, "Michael, I know it might be a little awkward, but would you like to come over and have Thanksgiving dinner with us? My parents will be here as usual, so I'll understand if you decline, but I would really like to have you here."

Surprisingly, he never hesitated. "Sure, that sounds nice. Can I bring anything?"

"No, uh, I've got everything covered. We're going to eat at our normal time, but you're welcome to come by earlier and spend time with everyone if you want."

"Great, I'll see you guys on Thursday," he said.

Between school, buying groceries for my Thanksgiving meal, and cleaning the house, the next three days flew by. It was probably a good thing that I was so busy, because it kept me from obsessing about making sure everything was perfect for Thanksgiving. When Thursday arrived, I got up early to put my turkey in the oven and then grabbed a cup of coffee and found my favorite chair in the sunroom to calm my nerves before everyone started stirring."

Just before noon, as Mom and I were beginning to prep the ingredients for the side dishes, I heard Michael's car door in the drive. She must have sensed my nerves, because she reached over and grabbed my hand. "Don't worry honey. I'm sure everything will be just perfect. Just try to relax and enjoy having your family together."

I watched out the window into the backyard, as Michael stopped to shoot some basketball with the boys before heading inside. Just seeing him out there with them, made me a little sad. I couldn't help but blame myself for them not having him around every day.

Just then, my pity party was interrupted when Michael knocked gently on the kitchen door before letting himself in. "Well hello Mary. It's great to see you again," he said as he greeted my mother with a hug. He certainly seemed to be in a good mood.

"It's great to see you too, Michael and I know Sam will be glad you're here to watch football with him later," my mother replied.

"Hey Jules, everything smells wonderful. I can't wait for a taste of that turkey. Your turkey is always the best," he said, rubbing my shoulder on his way past me as he walked into the den to catch up with my Dad.

"Well someone is certainly in a good mood," my mother commented after Michael had left the kitchen.

When I didn't respond, she looked over and noticed the tears in my eyes. "Oh honey, is something wrong?"

"No Mom. It's just that he hasn't called me that in a long time," I whispered to her. "That was always his pet name for me and since that awful trip to the beach, he has been so formal with me. He just caught me off guard, that's all."

The rest of the day went perfectly. Everyone was talking and laughing and having a good time. It felt almost as if nothing had changed since last Thanksgiving. After dinner, I insisted that everyone go into the den to relax a bit while I finished cleaning the dishes and cutting the cake for dessert.

When I finished up, I grabbed a couple of pieces of cake and started for the den but I stopped in my tracks just outside the door when I overheard my mother telling Michael, "so dear, by the way you're acting, it would appear that our little conversation has helped you sort things out a bit."

"Well Mary, you certainly give new meaning to the phrase meddling mother-in-law. But I mean that in the best way. Seriously, I want to thank both of you for coming to see me. I would have never guessed that you guys had been through something like we're going through. It really helped me put everything into perspective," I heard Michael say.

Then I heard my Dad say, "so son, does that mean that you've made up your mind?"

"No sir, it's not that easy. But you guys have given certainly convinced me to be open to the possibilities. I'm not quite ready to jump back in with both feet, but I'm certainly open to sticking my toes in test the waters," Michael answered.

I made some noise to warn them that I was coming down the hall, not wanting them to know that I had overheard their conversation. So, that explains a lot I thought. They just couldn't help but meddle, but this time I was glad they did. They had obviously gone to see Michael to talk to him about how they got over my Dad's affair. I didn't want to get my hopes up too much, but things were certainly starting to look up.

We all ate our dessert and played spades for a while like we did every Thanksgiving before Michael announced that it was getting late and he should probably be going. He bid my parents goodnight and headed upstairs to say goodnight to the boys while I went to retrieve his coat from the closet.

When he came back downstairs, I helped him with his coat and walked with him to the door. Before he left, he stopped and turned back towards me. "Hey Jules, do you think you could get away for a bit in the morning? If your parents don't mind watching the boys, I was hoping that maybe we could meet for breakfast and talk."

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind and I would love to meet you for breakfast," I replied.

"Great, I'll pick you up around 8:00, and thanks again for inviting me to dinner today. This was the most fun I've had in a long time. See you in the morning."

For the first time in months, I had hope. I was so excited that I hardly slept at all that night. I was up really early the next morning, and by the time he pulled in the drive at 8:00 the following morning, I was waiting by the door. Before he could put the car in park and turn the engine off, I was halfway down the front walk heading for his car.

I crawled in the passenger side and said, "so handsome, where are we going?"

"Good morning to you too," he said. "I actually thought that maybe we could go to my apartment if that's okay with you. I've made a breakfast casserole and I've got some fruit. I just thought that it would be a little more private and give us a chance to talk."

"Sounds great to me," I replied.

The rest of the ride was very pleasant with some casual talk about the weather and the boys. I knew where his apartment was, but I had never been inside. So, when we went in, I was somewhat shocked. It was really nice and everything was absolutely immaculate. It looked like some magazine picture, not like our house with toys and clothes and paperwork laying around everywhere.

He showed me to the kitchen and served me the casserole and fruit that he had prepared. Again, I was a little shocked. The breakfast was really good. I had created this image in my head that he was living in some kind of dirty bachelor pad, eating fast food when I wasn't around to take care of him when in fact, it appeared that he was doing just fine on his own.

His friendly attitude continued while we ate as we continued with the casual conversation. When we finished, he cleared the table and loaded the dishes into the dishwasher before inviting me to take my coffee and join him in the living room. As I sat on the sofa, I had to hold my cup with both hands to try and keep it steady.

Michael came and sat next to me on the sofa and just looked at me for a while before asking, "am I making you nervous because your hands are shaking?"

"To be honest, I'm scared to death. I was so excited after the great day we had yesterday when you invited me to breakfast today. Then, we come here and I see this beautiful apartment and you've cooked this incredible breakfast. I guess I was just secretly hoping that you were struggling to manage things without me, but obviously you're doing just fine. It's just a little overwhelming. Plus, I'm really nervous about this talk you wanted to have."

"Well I didn't mean to make you nervous. I just thought that it's been a while since we talked about us and a lot has changed since the last time. Yesterday was really great for me too. In fact, the past couple of months have really been eye opening for me in a good way."

"So, I'm guessing that this great awaking of yours has to do with me or us and that's why we're here today. So, even though it scares me to death, why don't you tell me about it."

He started with my trip last summer and told me about how hurt he was when Steve Harris showed up at his office with those pictures and that sex video on the thumb drive that he left for me on the bed when I got home. He continued about how he tried to be agreeable for the boy's sake, but that it was hard for him to be in the house with me when we first started having our weekly Sunday dinners.

Then he said that sometime in Mid-October, Steve showed up with another video of that beach weekend and told him that he really owed it to himself to watch it for his own peace of mind. When he got home that day, he plugged it into his laptop and watched the entire video. Thankfully, Steve Harris had videoed the entire week and that thumb drive confirmed everything that I had told Michael about that trip.

He saw me drinking and dancing and eating that brownie before I passed out on the sofa. He saw how Jonathon started to play with my hair and caress my thigh while I was still asleep. He even heard me call him Michael, confirming what I told him about thinking it was him in my hazy brain that night. And finally, he saw me and Jen crying together off and on over the next few days and deciding that we had to tell Michael and her husband Andy when we got home.

"I guess that explains the change in you that I noticed about that time," I said. "But, I'm actually a little confused. There were times when you seemed happy to be with us and then times when you went back to being really cold towards me."

"Yeah, that video confirmed that you had been telling me the truth. But it was also very confusing for me. There were times when I started to have hope for us because you had been honest with me, but then I would go back to those pictures of you with that asshole and I just didn't think I could ever get past what you did, even if you were drunk and confused when it happened.

Then a couple of weeks ago, your Mom showed up at my door one evening. We had a really good talk about your Dad's affair and how she was able to forgive him and move on. I still wasn't sure about what I wanted to do, but after talking with her, I felt like I at least had a choice.