All Comments on 'Unrequited Pt. 02'

Gets better and better. Wish I could give you more stars but 5* are the limit.

I love it. I can't wait for part 3.

I don't want to get too invested in Kayleigh, as I have a feeling we'd still circle back to Sally.

Really enjoying it. But super nervous for the bump in the road that has to be coming.

I can start my Saturday now as I just had to read this

You are really an amazing writer. Just love all your stories. Your characters really feel like real people you can identify yourself to. Thank you so much for your stories. One small remark: at some point in the chapter, you talked about a Kelly instead of Kayleigh - page 2 during the dinner date, when Kayleigh says that Bethany makes her nervous.

This is so good, you handle the romance so well and bring your characters to life. You're making a grumpy old man very happy. Thank you

Amazing… and just knowing you were going to post this chapter soon had me checking the site at least 862 times…..the suspense was absolutely killing me…love the characters…just a great story. Thanks so much

I love these two so much I’m getting horror movie chills. Instead of “Oh, come on, don’t go in the house” it’s “Bethany, be cool. Be cool!”

Thank you. What a lovely story. Loved the way the first date went on and on. Looking forward to the next episode.

I think this part is better than the first one.

In the first part, Bethany acts like a complete masochist, a non-believable character.

Here, she develops, and she fears commitment, but is a real-life person, and it is so so so much better.

Another thoroughly enjoyable chapter. You are amazing.

The big problem with this story is that I'm now on tenterhooks waiting for the other boot to fall, wondering how Bethany will manage to screw things up. It's bound to happen if you want tension and drama in the tale. Brilliant and five stars.

Beautiful chapter. I love the time you take developing the characters. Your writing style brings the reader into each character, their desires, fears, needs and dreams. It’s a true talent, when an author can make me feel a friendship develop with a character. You do it perfectly!

Can’t wait for part 3. Though I’m nervous and scared when the bomb will drop. Great writing though it is very easy to get emotionally invested in it.

I love them both already! I'm a little worried that Sally is addicted to the loving attention and is gonna push Bethany to be more than friends out of fear that she will lose the connection between them.

Please be setting us up with heartbreak. Please don't break Kayleigh's heart. I like Bethany and Kayleigh together.

Captivated; immersed in this developing relationship — how can one not be. You can feel the lingering hesitation/almost trepidation self-imposed for each yet so much hope. You write so well. Thanks for sharing without any real wait between chapters.

Loving this story!

Love that Bethany is actually giving a relationship a chance. Love the interaction, but still very worried about the meeting of “best friend”.

As always - fantastic story, you never disappoint!

Thank you so much for sharing.

Wonderful writing.

Nice writing of the exchanges between Bethany and Kayleigh. But, as others have said, we are waiting for what comes next. When will Bethany panic? Are there revelations to come about Kayleigh's previous relationship? How much Is Sally aware of Bethany's feelings for her? Will she meddle in an unhelpful way?

Oh this is turning onto a stunningly good story. I hope not too many hearts get broken in the future.

Loving this story so much! I'm a total sucker for romance, and this is hitting all my buttons. I can't wait to see more

Absolutely wonderful can't wait for the next part!!! 💜

If this was AGT I would hit the golden buzzer! again and again...

Beautiful chapter! I feel like part 3 is where the story will stir things up quite emotionally. And I can't wait to read it!

Thank you. You really know how to craft a story! ❤️❤️❤️

I love that Bethany is trying so hard. She can get her HEA if only she can get intrusive thoughts of Sally out of her mind. Of course, this is close to the part of the story when Bethany will screw it up. I'm not sure I can read the next part with my eyes covered. Oh well, I'll just have to trust you to get us through it.

Lovely to see Bethany finding her love

As I was reading this chapter I was waiting and wondering when the train would jump the track and crash. Great read and I saw only one mistake (he) instead of (the). 😎🥰 5 stars

Such a great romantic story. Pulling for Kayleigh and Bethany

I’m curious as to the setting of the story. I may have missed it but I see several references to “Cajun food” and SLU (Southeastern Louisiana University?). Either way, I have been eager for more stories from you. I look forward to the storyline as much as the sex.

Five thumbs up, stars, galaxies, whatever they'll let us offer you!

Okay now I need the rest of the chapters, I'm hooked

cant weight so many possibility im excited for the next chapter will be waiting i havent see rude comments as i only read ones from authors i know not sure what im trying to say i hope life is good and we see more stories be well happy and safe a fan shayne

Can't wait for the next chapter. It is really, really wonderful following this love story.

Can't wait for next chapter

No reason to apologize, this story is perfect and I cannot wait for the Labor Day party. 5 stars alll the way

When I die I want my male soul reincarnated as a lesbian. 5 stars & delicious.

Am loving this story and do hard to put down. 🙏🙏🙏

More please.

The only issue I have is that I am restricted to only 5 stars! As an author, you deserve 10! Love the human aspect of your characters and the frailties and triumphs you give them. Definitely a top five author on this site!

Jamie

Such a riveting and gripping story. Love it,and while the sex is hot the handling of emotions, dialogue, and interaction between characters is what sets it apart as a truly incredible work. I love it and hope Bethany doesn't screw it up... Btw Bethany's taste in Italian restaurants (or maybe it's Sally's) is truly appalling 😃

As always, thanks for sharing your talent and wonderful stories with us!

You're certainly racking up the tension, JC. All through my reading I'm thinking: Don't screw this up, Bethany. You can't have Sally and now you've got yourself a real winner. As the song from South Pacific says "...once you have found her, never let her go..."

I will catch up with the former comment from Maonaigh, hits the nail perfectly ...... Yeah there are to much subtle thoughts about screwing this royalie and for both its not worth that, because Bethany and Kayleigh are so very sweet lovely cute characters ..... Bethany is able to feel love nad even feel loved, love for Sally and love from the family ...... So Kayleigh is a perfect partner "material " in many senses

💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝🍀👄

Just wonderful, yes sex scenes original and enthralling but what is so good is the story. You have set it up so well it could go any way, love that you have written all the parts already so it won't be months before we "know". Thank for such a wonderful gift to us all.

For a story that started as a “Royal Mess” that was very, very good and is well deserving of five stars. The thing I love with your writing is the emotional development, as our central character moves through her doubts and/or challenges to eventual happiness and a relationship that works for her, I’m not sure where this one is going yet, but both Bethany and Kayleigh have so much potential for that emotional journey, (ugh what a term) that, for me, is one of your trademarks. Please don’t get me wrong, the sex is great, but it’s all about the characters and their development for me, maybe I’m the odd one out?

Many thanks for writing and posting, cheers Ppfzz.

What a delightful, fascinating and engaging tale you have written. 🙂

Seen in a real-world perspective the burgeoning love story between Bethany and Kayleigh is very fitting and sweet. As a therapist Kayleigh could help Bethany bring her infatuation for Sally to the fore and help her deal with it and then they can live happily ever after.

However, if you zoom out and look at the full story in a HEA-universe — with a big dollop of Austen thrown in — the story takes on a totally different perspective; how could Darcy settle for Caroline if Lizzy is really his one true love? 😉

I’m really looking forward to reading the third part, which hopefully includes the meeting of Kayleigh and Sally. It will be interesting to see how Kayleigh reacts to the meeting. As Bethany has told Kayleigh about her life, carefully editing Sally out of the picture, there ought to be a big Sally-shaped hole in the story. For a therapist — whose job it is to be able to discern the absence of details that her patients avoid, omit or obfuscate — this should be easy to spot, or at least be aware of the big missing piece (especially as Sally’s ever-presence in Bethany’s life has been demonstrated throughout their courtship). The meeting will likely reveal the true state of affairs and it should be interesting to see the resulting effects.

If we are to achieve true HEA then we will likely need an explosion to shake Sally out of her complacency and bring her feelings to the surface, and jealousy is an effective catalyst for that. As Bethany previously has shielded Sally’s feelings by running away whenever there has been any chance of a relationship with someone else, the first meeting of such a rival should have a significant effect on Sally.

Also, Kayleigh’s feelings for Bethany should make conflict the likeliest outcome. Intense, unbridled passion — though lovely in fair weather — could easily lead to uncertainty and powerlessness, which can be coupled with insane, unreasonable jealousy, when things get rough. And, as an aside, we haven’t actually been told what happened with Patricia from an unbiased source. The only thing we know for certain is that Kayleigh cheated on Patricia, ostensibly because the relationship had run its course and Patricia was likely cheating on her, but we only have Kayleigh’s word for that.

Even leaving out the author’s penchant for happily-ever-after stories, we have clear indications of Sally’s feelings for her friend as she (consciously or unconsciously) digitally stalks her — closely following where she goes, what she does and texts her as soon as she gets home.

We also have a vague sign that Tim, on some level, is aware of Sally’s feelings for her best friend as he tries to distract Sally during the phone calls with her (of course this could just be two people in love, but if that were the case then he would likely distract her before she called and then the call likely would happen after the ‘distraction’ and be distraction-less).

It would be very interesting to read a section from Sally’s perspective to see how aware she is of her feelings, though that would likely give the plot away and would therefore not be possible, at least not until the final (or possibly the penultimate) chapter.

I guessed that the story was written with the help of a dictaphone as some of the words sound almost right but is spelt wrong (Kayleigh becomes Kelly at one point, for instance) and at least one sentence have correctly spelt words but make no sense as written (though if read aloud one can vaguely see the shape of the intended sentence). It made me laugh that Bethany, although torn between her feelings for both Sally and Kayleigh, is able to smile weekly… 😁

P.S.

You and Maonaigh share occupancy in my personal pantheon. So, when he weighs in, it counts in manifold ways. The two of you are edificators, and that makes you both exceptional: reading your stuff makes me a better human being.

Case in point: "I felt my soul relax. I didn't have to perform for her or hide from her. I could just enjoy her and our time together." The culture makes us deathly (aptly chosen) afraid of intimacy. Sex used casually is frequently a way of avoiding true intimacy. The physical intimacy that stems from emotional/spiritual intimacy is awe-inspiring.

One tiny but nettlesome flaw: please spend the time necessary to learn and appreciate the difference between transitive verb "lay" and intransitive verb "lie." (Although I haven't noticed it in your own writing, the same confusion oftentimes reigns w/r/t "raise" and "rise.") Alternatively, enlist the aid of a special-purpose editor who will ferret out those lapses for you.

Thank you for your contributions. 5 stars. And now on to the next installment in the Bethany/Kayleigh literary universe.

I'm on my second reading, enjoying the story without having to wait for the next episode. When I was reading the sex during their first date, it felt at times as if I was re-reading the scene after their first meeting at the club. Their actions are similar, which on its own I find hard to criticise, but sometimes the language is also very similar. For example during the tribbing in chapter 1, "The pure eroticism of Kayleigh lost in orgasm pushed me over the edge, and I joined her in bliss." and chapter 2, "The pure eroticism of the moment pushed me right up to the edge, ... which gently tipped me over into bliss."

Similarly, another place where I had the feeling that I'd read this before was entering Kayleigh's home after the party with her colleagues, "Her left leg slid up mine, and I reached down and slipped my hand under her thigh", which mirrors their first date, "...the inside of her leg rising up over mine. I reached down and held her thigh".

I find myself having to disagree with the lovely Kayleigh (and thereby with her creator ). I’m 60 years old and have lived all across the country from Naples, Florida to Santa Rosa, California and many places in between. I have never heard the phrase “walk of shame “ been exclusively applied to women. On the contrary, I have heard it used for both men and women. The phrase was used to refer to anyone who regretted a liaison from the previous night in the light of the new morning. Usually as a result of too much alcohol the night before.

In popular culture , I saw it used by both Richard Castle and his mother, Martha Rogers, in episodes during season one referring to each other. Neither was true as it turned out. He was returning from being with Beckett at a stakeout, and she felt no shame whatsoever for what she had done . At least a big grin is generally not an indication of regret .

I guess the patriarchy does not exist behind every bush in this case.

To the HEA novella length rant, your post is one more reminder why I despise psychological history as a method for interpreting an author’s work. It assumes an omniscience that cannot be validated. “The author wrote this, but she really means that.” It purports to know the author’s story and characters better than the author herself.

On the contrary, JC wrote Sally as she appears not as a conflicted person who seeks to sabotage her friend because of repressed attraction. In polite academia, we called this type of scholarship hogwash. Seeing as this is an adult website, I will cut straight to the point. What a bunch of bullshit!

I came back to this site after long long time and this is the 1st story I read, I like it so far. I like Beth alot I think she deserves her soul mate and mind-blowing love story of her own. But I don't feel any chemistry between kayleigh and Bethany, maybe it's just me¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Anyways I don't think sally and Beth going to be together cuz the way writer put sally and Tim's storyline so in love and all its going to be tough road of writing to bring sally and Beth togheter😔. Let's see what happens next part 3 here I come.....

I came back to this site after long long time and this is the 1st story I read, I like it so far. I like Beth alot I think she deserves her soul mate and mind-blowing love story of her own. But I don't feel any chemistry between kayleigh and Bethany, maybe it's just me¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Anyways I don't think sally and Beth going to be together cuz the way writer put sally and Tim's storyline so in love and all its going to be tough road of writing to bring sally and Beth togheter😔. Let's see what happens next part 3 here I come.....

Kayleigh wearing a garter belt! God, that is so sexy! Keep up this excellent story. Thank you.

Since losing my wife just over a year ago, I've discovered a hitherto unsuspected taste for Lit lesbian romance, and I've been binging on your work lately. So I'm reading this chapter and suddenly this loud SCROAN (scream + groan) comes out of my mouth. My grandson has been living with me for a year now, and he's never heard anything like that from me before, so he asks me what happened. I explain to him that one of your characters in this chapter, the gardener, has the SAME NAME AS MY MOTHER. General freak-out.

So he and I get past that, and I go on reading until I get to the line "Good night, Sweetheart". Now I almost never called my wife by name, only by a variety of endearments including this one, a habit I picked up from my father. Immediately an earworm starts playing in my head, namely the 1931 version of "Goodnight, Sweetheart (Tjll we meet tomorrow)", which we used to sing together. (You can find lots of versions of it on YouTube.) She learned it from her father and taught it to me. She also knew the completely different 1954 McGuire Sisters doo-wop song "Goodnight, Sweetheart (Well it's time to go)", though we didn't feel the same way about that one. Life is strange.

Anyhow, I wanted to let you know these things, and now I'm reading on.